Grocery day for me today. Have I told you before that Kyungsoo sometimes go home to my house already? Although he always goes home late and tired, it still touches me whenever he makes it up for the time he loses in that way. Some days, I would just wake up with him sleeping next to me or stuff like that.

It’s like we’ve already gotten married without the papers yet.

But the fact that he’s always tired worries me. So I will try to cook nice food for him when he goes back from Singapore. He left two days ago and tonight he’s going to arrive back. Also, he has told me about the other places he’ll be going in the future and they were all research related and luckily, it was mostly in Asia. It’s like he’s having a tour. Aigoo, if that book doesn’t hit the jackpot yet, I wouldn’t know what else would.

I mean, how much hard work are they putting into it right now?

It should be worth it.

Now on to my grocery list. I hold the piece of paper with my right hand while I push the cart with my left. Apparently, Kyungsoo texted me some stuff he wants me to buy. And as surprising as it sounds, they were mostly snacks. He always brings snacks to work to which I always scold him about. Instead of eating a real meal, he usually stays onto his working mode while only eating the snacks.

No, I don’t think I would still buy snacks.

He should eat real food in the future.

See how this book affects everyone? A once health freak eating wrongly now. Gosh, I need to stop trash-talking this book. One more thing we always argue about is his too much consumption of coffee nowadays. I mean it’s not that awful but every now and then, he always tells me he’s having acid reflux but he still drinks coffee. One reason might be because he doesn’t usually drink coffee. Like, he only did occasionally in the past.

So another no, I won’t buy coffee.

I’m surprised at how he’s been taking his health for granted. He gets too into his work that he’s not thinking straight. It’s only been a few months since the research started and he has lost some weight already. I need to work harder to straighten his habits up again, he just doesn’t listen.

He’s more stubborn than an actual kid.

The smart man that he is. He listens to himself more. I need to step my game up a bit more.

I don’t want him sick.

So as much as I can, I bought the healthy food that I know he always liked before. It’s just that he’s always tired and always lacks of energy that’s why he seek for more unhealthy food nowadays. The funny thing is that, he was the one who explained this to me but still, he does what’s wrong.

It’s like I’m having a pre-motherhood training with what I’m trying to do with Kyungsoo these days.

After my grocery time, I carry all four paper bags myself out of the store. See how strong I am? I was running in tip-toe as I go to the parking lot towards my car. But what made me stop was when I saw familiar face standing right next to my car while smiling down to me. “I knew this was your car. Saw the cupcake symbol.” I open my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

It was Kim Jongin.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen him last and so I was a bit surprised.

“Need a help?” He begins walking towards me but I quickly shake my head while forcing a smile. “No, it’s alright. I’m almost t—“ I couldn’t finish my sentence anymore when he already snatched two paper bags from me. “Really, you don’t have to help me.” I said as we both walk to my car. “Long time no see too?” He answers while laughing softly.

“Yeah.” I briefly answer and fake a laugh. “So how’s life?” I try to open a short conversation as I open my car’s trunk. “Well, it’s hard to answer. One year of being alone, isn’t it hard?” He said. I try to react on what he said because that way he speaks is like he’s trying to pierce through my soul. And I am not buying that. “Why alone?” I ask as I finally open my trunk and we both placed the bags there. “Didn’t you have a girlfriend?” I add and casually lean on the trunk after closing it. He does the same and looks at me.

“I don’t  even know if we were really on that stage or we just gave each other’s physical needs. I couldn’t feel it in my heart. The last time I really felt right calling a woman as my girlfriend was when we we—“Alright alright. I need to go.” I chuckle while putting both of my hands up. I rush to the driver’s area but then he follows me.

“Iseul. I’m sorry. Don’t you want to try it again? I still want you.” He asks and grabs my wrist. “Woah there~” I yank my hand away from his grip and laugh. “So you have to wait for over two years to actually feel sorry and when you get tired of the girl, you want me back?” I ask. Gosh, I don’t have time for this. “I tried reaching you that time. But you always ignored me.” He explains. “Oh my god, Jongin how could you still lie until now? You know, I don’t even care whether you’re lying or not. I’m engaged now.” I tell him.

His face fell into a disappointed look.

“Look.” I heave a sigh and hesitantly pat his arm. “You don’t love someone ‘cause you want to be comfortable only. You did not get satisfied of me in the past, now you did not get satisfied by your present. And now you want to go back to the past. It doesn’t work like that because people change and grow up. I’ve grown up from you.” I explain and open the car door.

But before I go in, I look at him again.

“And thank you for hurting me. I met my fiancé who’s ten times hotter than you. And also. . . no hard feelings alright? But I just want to say something that I failed to tell you back then because I was too blinded by your perfect teeth and prince-like features. . .” I smile before going on. “YOU’RE NOT EVEN THAT BIG.” I finish firmly with a straight face before completely going into my car and drove off right away before he could react on what I said.

As I drive, I laugh so hard. I feel so alive to be able to tell him that.

Although I literally complimented him on that ‘perfect teeth’ and ‘prince-like features’ I still feel so good to be able to let him know how awful he is as a guy. If I was like myself from the past, I would have accepted him back and be stupid all over again.

Having Do Kyungsoo by my side has made me as egoistic as he is.

I can’t help it, you guys.

_ _ _

Feeling so proud of myself for the dish I just finished cooking for dinner, taking a photo of it is mandatory.  As I was trying to find the perfect angle, I suddenly felt a pair of arms around my waist making me squeal. But right away, I turn with a smile knowing who it was. “I didn’t hear you enter.” I muffle and as soon as I turn my head, my lips were captured for a longing kiss.

I shift my body around completely as I hug my fiancé on the neck.

He’s not this touchy usually; he must have missed me real bad. Cutting the kiss short, I run my fingers through his hair as we made an eye-contact. He had dark circles which worried me so much. “Aren’t you going home to yours?” I ask. He just shook his head before burying his face on the crook of my neck. I just wrap my arms on his head while his hair.

He looks so tired.

“Aw, poor thing.” I muffle feeling his hot, slow breaths on my neck. “Kyung-ah.” I call softly while patting his head. My eyes move from left to right as I feel him getting heavier and heavier on me. “Uhm. . . Honey, you there?” I ask. His breaths have gone deeper now.

Oh , he fell asleep.

Standing up?? Good Lord. . .

“Okay—uhm. . . look, could you wake up for a sec?” I hesitantly pat him on the back. “Kyungsoo-yah.” I call and that’s when he wakes up pulling away from me. He blinks slowly while looking around like a lost child. “A-are we there yet?” He muffle. “Hey, you’re already here.” I chuckle and tap his cheeks. His face softened up as he looks back at me.

“Sorry.” He put a hand over his eyes and massages his temples with his fingers. I glance at the food I cooked. I don’t think he can still eat in this state. Whatever, I can just put this in the fridge for a while. “You go rest now. Come on.” I hold his hand but then he already flopped down the chair. “No, I’m hungry.” He mutters while looking around the table with his droopy eyes. “Really? Okay, how many dishes did I cook?” I ask.

He looks up to me like a kid and then back down to the table.

“Three.” He answers. “Just one. Okay, stand up.” I pull him up again and start dragging him to my room. As soon as we got in, I see how his eyes sparkled upon seeing my bed. “Bed. T-there’s a bed.” He mutters and abruptly jumps down to it. I just chuckle in amusement but at the same time, I feel so sorry for him. I bet he isn’t sleeping yet, aside from the short nap he surely—hopefully—had in the plane.

I fix his body properly on the bed and removed his shoes before pulling the comforter up to his chest.

“Aigoo, you look like you drank five shots of strong liquor.” I said. “J-just one.” He muffles and my eyes bulge out. “You did??” I ask and jump down the bed and try to lift his head up. Oh my god, he never drank before. “T-they said. . . they said it was water and I was. . . yeah. . . earlier in the private j–jet. Laptop. A-and. . . Haa~ love you.” He stutters and his head falls back to the bed.

What did he just say? I didn’t get it at all.

“Yah, one shot or one whole bottle?” I ask but he did not answer anymore. “Yah, water and liquor doesn’t even taste the same. Yah.” I tap his face but he was already unconscious. So he’s tired and drunk. Aish, his team might have fooled him earlier. I know they might be relieving stress through having fun but they shouldn’t at least involve him into such. I heave a sigh and lean down to the bed sideways. I pat my hand flat on my fiancé’s chest before moving in to give him a peck on the lips.

“Love you too.” I hush and just hug him while tapping my hand gently onto his body like I’m putting a baby to sleep.

Well, he’s my baby. My baby penguin who thinks water and liquor taste the same.