Time move so fast when you’re in love. Christmas, New Year, and our birthdays have all passed and now on to reality. The painful reality that Kyungsoo’s busy life will officially start. It’s been well between us and let me just explain before you guys assume anything. After our first night together, we weren’t actually like any other couples who begin doing that very often.

For the months that have passed, we’ve only done it twice which includes the first time.

The other one was on his birthday night.

Let’s just say we’re not really a couple on a daily basis, but on the very moment we do that thing. . .

DAMN we are.

And I can say, he’s improved even more with his human contact crisis. I think going officially intimate helped him.  

But actually, just to me, I think. Whenever we’re out and we have to interact with people, he’s still indifferent of them.

But of course! I didn’t mean to say he has to have with everyone just to be comfortable. I’m just saying it has helped our relationship physically and emotionally very much.

So back to the topic, the book production he was in starts today and I just actually read his text message when I woke up in the morning to prepare for work. He said he’s going to turn his phone off for the whole day so I wouldn’t be able to call or text. I’ve expected that, he’s told me beforehand. A couple tons of beforehand’s. Like he used his whole two months to remind me not to be an overly-sensitive fiancée and understand him.

And slowly but surely, I’ve gone stuck on that mindset that he’s going to lose a bit of time for me compared to the time he usually has.

I understand.

But it still terrifies me. Even now, when we just met yesterday, I already miss him.

Anyway, I try to shrug off the misery I have in my whole system and diligently prepared for work. But the moment I got my phone back in my hands when I finished dressing up, I had the urge to call him but I know I wouldn’t be able to. I feel so frustrated that he needs that much of focus to the extent of turning his phone off.

I feel sick.

And kidding aside, I really feel sick right now.

My whole body feels warm. Maybe because we stayed out late last night walking around the busy street. Even for the last night of his ‘free time’ he accompanied me to buy new baking necessities. Not that I need his opinions, hell I don’t even want to hear his opinions because he speaks like he knows baking better than I do, I just need his hands to carry my things.

Perks of being the woman in the relationship.

He declines to help, he’s a jerk.

But actually, he tries to decline but oh well.

It was another perk of having a fiancé who loves you like how Kyungsoo loves me. That love which isn’t obvious at all, that doubtful love but is realer than any kind of love? I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now. I really feel weak right now and let me just defend right away; before you assume things, I am not pregnant. I’m actually on my second day of monthly visitor.

Maybe that explains the heaviness on my head.

And besides, Kyungsoo and I—actually mostly Kyungsoo—are very careful and attentive of family planning. Even before our marriage, we’ve been talking about it. Stuff like, I want three children but he wants two. I want a girl, he wants a boy. I wish the child would look like him while he wishes our child wouldn’t be as dumb as I am which, by the way, was one reason why we were on a cold war for a few days last month.

Because he said that.

Like what the hell, right?

But in the end, he apologized although he said he still wishes the same saying he only wants a bright future for the child. Anyway, what can I not tolerate when it’s Kyungsoo, right? If he didn’t say that, he’s not being himself.

Arriving in the restaurant, I start feeling more pressure in my head seeing the amount of work that I need to be doing now. I change into my uniform and right away, I start working. At sick times like this, I want to contact Kyungsoo because he always knew the remedy but what can I do? He’s unreachable at the moment.

“Miss Iseul, everything going good there?” My assistant asks while handing me the tools. “Yes, all good.” I gave a curt nod while dabbing my forearm sleeve over my forehead. No, not good at all. I should have just stayed at home and call for leave. Add the fact that my lower abdomen’s aching as well makes everything much worse than it already is.

So after tolerating the pain for a few hours, I ended up excusing myself from the kitchen for a while, I went to the storage room to try calling Kyungsoo. I know it’s a dumb idea knowing his phone is turned off but I just can’t remain calm feeling all sick right now and he doesn’t know.

To my surprise, it rang.

“The hell is wrong with this guy.” I groan as I massage my temple. Within a few rings, I got an answer. “I thought you’ll turn off?” I ask. “I said that so you won’t call to disturb but I couldn’t possibly turn it off for real because there might be an emergency as well. So if this isn’t an emergency, I will get mad. I just excused myself real quick from the meeting.” He answers. I heave a sigh as I lean on the ingredient shelf. “Kyung-ah. . .” I groan in pain.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. “I feel like I have a fever and I’m also having menstrual cramps since this morning.” I murmur like a kid complaining to her pediatrician. “Just stay on your bed. Try the ginger remedy I taught you for the headache.” He answers. “I’m at work.” I tell. “Ha? I thought you already feel sick since the morning?” He asks in confusion.

“I know but I couldn’t possibly leave my work just because of menstrual cycle s.” I muffle while whimpering impatiently. “You call it s but you’re complaining right now. Just go home.” He scolds. “But I’m already here.” I whine while rubbing my lower abdomen. “That’s why I said go home. Treat yourself, I can’t leave my work right now. Don’t be a kid.” He said. “Yah, Kyungsoo. You think this pain is easy? For twenty-eight years I alwa—“Alright alright, I’m sorry. I shall understand your mood swings. Please, could you just go home and so you won’t feel sick for too long?” He asks calmly this time?

“But Kyungsoo, I feel shy to excuse myself suddenly. It’s a bit busy here right now.” I murmur. “That’s the thing. Have you checked your temperature? If you move even more, you might really have a fever. Come on, just go home and listen to me.” He said. “I said it’s hard to excuse myse—“Please?” He cuts me off. I heave a sigh as I look down

“Fine.” I end up giving in. “Good. I won’t turn my phone off. You can call me but not too much, alright? My team will get mad at me. Text me your temperature. If you have a fever, drink medicine right away. If it’s just headache, do the remedy I’ve told you about.” He explains thoroughly. “Can’t you. . . can’t you come over?” I ask.

“Iseul, you—“Fine. I’m not even pushing it.” I gave up even before he could answer. I hear him sigh on the other end. “Just call me. If I don’t answer, I might be in a lab. Once I’m out, I’ll call.” He speaks. “Fine.” I muffle, I barely open my mouth as I speak. “Are you mad at me?” He asks. “No.” I croak back. “No, you’re mad at me.” He states. “I sai—“I stop myself before I burst. I clench my fist while calming myself down.

Mood swings, just chill. . .

“I’m not mad.” I rephrase myself in a calm way. “Are you sure?” He asks and that was it. “I said I’m not, okay?? Stop asking because it’s annoying!” I blurt out and even stomp my feet. “There she goes.” I hear him chuckle on the other end. “It’s not even funny.” I groan and end the call right away.

After that conversation with my fiancé, I indeed excused myself to the executive chef and other crews. I told them I was sick and they even gave me one more day of rest since they have confirmed I do have a fever. The restaurant has a mini clinic.

So right away, I went home.

To my shock, I found Kyungsoo in my house.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask as I throw my bag on the couch while walking to him. He stands up from the chair he was sitting on and reaches his hand to touch my forehead. “You have a fever. Come.” He grabs my hand and begins dragging me to my room. “I asked why you’re here. You have a research to do.” I said.

“The team has thirteen doctors who are working on the book including I. The book has this much doctors all around it, you don’t have any. So let’s at least subtract one from the book production to lend you.” He said and pushes the door open. “You’re not that kind of doctor. What, are you gonna measure my brain waves and know my fever span?” I ask and he gave me that horrified look. “Those two things you said are entirely irrelevant from each other. Stop watching dramas.” He said and drags me into the room.

“I’m fine. Go back to work. I don’t want you to think I’m being an overly-attached fiancée.” I said and pull my hand away from him. I walk to my bed alone and glance at him. He had his hands on his waist while looking at me. “Go back.” I say as I position myself on the bed. Instead of listening to me, he begin pulling his long sleeves up while walking to the bed.

“I said go back.” I say and point to the door. “You’re sick, I’m not. You can’t win.” He said and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Yah, I said I understand if you can’t take care of me. This is nothing at all. We’ve talked about this research for a long time, you think I still don’t understand?” I hiss back. “It’s only the first day anyway and the university’s even lucky enough that I lent my six months for this book when I already told them I’m about to get married.” He answers back.

He never lets himself lose, doesn’t he?

“Don’t have such mindset. It doesn’t work like that. They’re not just lucky, it’s your job to do what they want you to do. Just go back.” I argue. “Fine. Granted that I have to do what they want me to do. But I want to do what I want to do as well and that is to get a basin and warm water and take care of my fiancée. They can’t argue on that, they don’t have a fiancée like I do.” He speaks while removing his wrist watch.

He places it down to my bedside table before continuing. “Being engaged, at least for me right now, is like being stuck in between having a girlfriend and having a wife at the same time which makes everything ten times harder and also makes me worry ten times harder. Therefore I care ten times harder. Now if you nag ten times harder, I will nag you back ten times harder. Understand?” He stands up and walks to my bathroom. I pull myself up to sit and look at his direction.

“Kyungsoo, stop being so childish. Ju—“After the sponge bath and medicine, I will go back to the university. So stop pushing me away, it makes me feel awful for actually worrying about you.” He cuts me off before entering the bathroom. With what he said, I was officially defeated. I lie back down while staring at the opened door of the bathroom showing my fiancé’s back figure while he washes a towel.

“Kyungsoo.” I call. He turns his head. “Hm?” He asks like nothing happened. I always adore him for not pulling on short or long-term grudges. Maybe one perk of being so honest, he can act offended one second and act normal at the other. “Thanks.” I mutter and weakly smile. He just gave me a shrug before turning back to the sink.

Maybe we’re quits.

We’re both overly-sensitive and overly-attached to each other. But somehow, we still manage to balance it out although there’s quite a few arguments in the midst of it.  But at least we make it through, right?

I’m feeling all emotional just by watching him. This freaking monthly visitor throws variety of emotions into me that sometimes, I end up looking bi-polar.

But anyway, can we talk about how many times he said ‘ten times harder’ earlier? My reaction was kind of late but he was so cute earlier. If I was to speak in that way, he could have corrected me. It seems like he was too carried away earlier to even notice his own words.

That made me fall for him ten times harder.

A/N: I thought why not update one more time before I drift off to sleep. it's almost midnight here. lolol >.< Hope you enjoyed the update ten times harder than the previous one! XD