Early in the morning of a quite foggy Saturday, I prepare a nice breakfast – for two. It’s been a week since Kyungsoo proposed to me and before his book research starts on January, we still have two months to spend together. Anyway, why breakfast for two? Apparently, Kyungsoo and I hung out here last night and he ended up spending the night over.

AND IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, YOU GUYS.

Actually, when he came over, he had a few effin thick medical books along. Prior to the research he’s going to start soon, he’s already preparing and reading a few books to review. I see how immersed he was with reading that I didn’t dare taking too much of his attention. Instead, I just served him with drinks and snacks ‘til late at night.

And until he ended up sleeping on the couch.

I didn’t wake him up anymore.

I glance at the living room, he was still sleeping wrapped around my comforter. I let out a soft chuckle while shaking my head before looking down to the bacon I’m cooking. He’s such a hard-worker. He could use his remaining two months to actually rest and stuff but he chose to prepare his mind to the work he’s going to do.

And at the same time, still having a time for me.

Although he barely talked to me last night but still, what he’s aiming for was his presence near me.

Which I find very romantic in a lot of ways.

After cooking breakfast, I walk to the living room and cleaned up the books scattered all around my low table. The soft sounds I created earned movements from my dear fiancé. I gently placed the heavy thick books on the other side of the couch and peek at his face. Half of his face was covered with the comforter. I tiptoe close to him and his head once.

“You awake now?” I hush and sat on the remaining space on the couch. He opens his eyes but he just looked back at me. I chuckle and ruffle his hair. “What time is it?” He groggily asks. I glance at the clock beside the couch. “9:30 in the morning.” I answer. He gently pulls himself and sat up that made our face meet inches apart.

He then lifts one hand up and did a brushing action in front of his mouth.

“I have extra. Wait.” I got what he meant right away and stand up until he pulled me down again. “Hm?” I ask. He shakes his head and blinks so slowly, eyes looking all droopy. “Yah, still sleepy?” I ask. “I already missed my first period class.” He murmurs and flicks his tongue.

Oops, I should have waked him up.

“Oh. . . I’m sorry, I forgot you had classes and you looked really tired. Are you mad?” I ask. He glances blankly everywhere then back  at me. He simply shakes his head and instead, flops back down the couch and put his forearm over his eyes. I giggle and tap his tummy lightly. “Going back to sleep? I already cooked.” I said. I stand up for real this time and nudged my knee onto his leg.

“I’ll get some necessities for you.” I said and walk to my bedroom. When I came back, I had a small kit where I’ve put everything he might need. I already see Kyungsoo walking to my kitchen towards my dining table. “I don’t like bacon.” He murmurs as he saw what I cooked. “Of course you don’t. That’s why you’re eating it.” I smirk and he shoots a glare at me.

I casually walk towards him and shoved the kit to his chest. “Yah, are you being humorous at the moment?” He asks. “Nope. You will eat bacon because I said so.” I said. He flops down the chair and stared at the bacon. “Should I take the engagement ring back?” He asks and I turned to him with my steely glare. “Would you?” I ask back. He shakes his head before turning to his plate again.

“May I have some Cheerios too whilst eating this?” He asks. I stood by the table and placed a hand there. “Oh and when I give you a bowl of Cheerios you’ll eat it only and then ignore the bacon and then you will tell me you’re already full so I don’t have a choice anymore.” I answer and he pursed his lips tightly while giving me a defiant stare. “Eat that.” I point at his plate like I am scolding a kid before walking to my side right across him.

He just stares at it like he has never seen bacon before and he’s disgusted at first glance.

“Just eat it like it’s me.” I tease and he glares more. “That is cannibalism.” He answers but already grabs the fork. “Anyway, you only have three class periods during Saturday’s right?” I ask and begin eating as well. “This is so greasy.” He grunts as he stabs one long piece of bacon and stared at it. “It’s not greasy; it’s bacon’s nature to be that greasy.” I answer.

He gives me a look.

“It’s not greasy then it’s its nature to be greasy. Tell me, what are you made of?” He mocks. I stop eating and fold my arms. “I was made of a married man and a mistress.” I answer which leaves him speechless. I know he will shut up if I answer like that. Without any rebuttal, he takes a piece of bacon into his mouth and grabbed the spoon to get rice. “Good.” I said before resuming with my food. “You don’t have to say that, it isn’t what I meant.” He mutters while chewing. His eyes were darted down his food.

I knew it. With such words, he gets more offended than I should be.

Actually, I didn’t really get that offended, it was the truth.

“I know. So if you don’t finish your food, I’m going to tell you how awful my life is because my father doesn’t even care if I get ma—“ I will finish it so stop.” He cuts me off. I hold my smile. He reacts like he’s the one being insulted right now which I find very sweet. “You talk like that one more time and I will take the ring back.” He threatens before continuing with his food.

After breakfast. . .

I sat down my couch as I watch Kyungsoo come out of the bathroom looking fresh already although he had the same clothes. “Are you going now?” I ask and stand up to walk to him. I fixed his collar as he looks down to me. “Do you really find your life awful because of that?” He asks making me stop. I heave a sigh as I look up to him, my hands flat on his chest. “I was just kidding, you don’t have to think about that.” I said and chuckled. “No, really. Tell me the truth. Do you really feel like that? If you do, I will go to Daegu and meet him personally.” He said and put my hands down from his chest but held it both.

“Kyungsoo, it’s alright. I already texted him the same day you proposed. Maybe he just. . . doesn’t have time to reply but I’m sure he’s seen it.” I answer. “And besides, you’re busy. Don’t worry yourself.” I said and dusted off his shoulders. “Very well. . .” He sighs while looking back at me. “I need to go. My RadioTech students must be celebrating now thinking there is no class. But there is. They have a practical examination.” He said as I lead him to the door.

“Oh wait, the books.” I was about to run to the living room when he pulled me back. “No, it’s alright. I’ll leave it there. I’ll come back after my classes.” He says. “Huh? Are you sure?” I ask. “Yes, I am. How about you, you don’t have work in the restaurant today right?” He asks. “Yup, my schedule’s changed to Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.” I answer and patted his arms. “Alright.” He turns to the door and grabs the knob.

I smile while waving a hand at him as he goes out.

Closing the door, my last conversation with Hana and Soomi flashed back into my mind.

It was about my life with Kyungsoo which at the moment is ZERO.

They said I don’t have to wait until we get married. According to them, with the relationship that I have with him, it won’t matter anymore whether to wait for the wedding night or not to make it special. Hana who doesn’t usually talk romantic s even said every love making is special when it’s with the one you love, there’s no such thing as right time, perfect time or whatsoever.

And besides, they also said it’s one more way to make Kyungsoo crazier about me and much more excited to marry me. Soomi said it’s a sure-kill that he will crave to be with me even more.

Which is by the way my forever girlfriend dream, ehem.

Maybe I can make it come true?

Skipping quick to my bedroom, I walk to my closet and take out a box containing a silk and laced powder-blue one-piece lingerie that ends just at the midst of my thigh. The other day, Hana and Soomi brought me to a lingerie shop, they said I should start it right. The aura, the conversations and most especially, the look. They said knowing Do Kyungsoo, it won’t be as easy as to any other guys, so I really need to make an effort to take out the beast out of him. Everything should be clean and accurate.

Ugh, I sound like I am plotting a murder.

I mean. . . I am ing trying to get a grown man’s ity, people!

I should at least be on the level of. . . Good to DAMN Good!

But anyway, would he even know if I’m good or not when it’s going to be his first time?

I don’t know. I can’t tell. I will never know a man’s point of view. Even how much different Kyungsoo can be, he’s still a man. How would I know how he rates anyway?

All I know is that. . . I AM READY TO GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH HIM.

My tummy’s growling, I feel like vomiting.

I’m nervous, I want burger.

I need to prep up for this whole day until he arrives back. And when I say prep up, I mean effin shave everything! Actually, I’ve considered getting myself waxed, I’ve done it once but for me personally, it was a nightmare. I’m not good with sacrifice-pain-for-beauty kind of procedures. I’m rather the lazy--girl-who-does-lazy-solutions-for-beauty kind. So I chose shaving, I don’t think he would mind anyway and I’m not that hairy.

What else should I do? Uhm. . . Thinking about Do Kyungsoo alone, it makes me want to shower for ten times. I mean, I’m not even kidding when I say he smells damn good. It’s like. . . his scent alone can make a woman pregnant. That’s how clean and fresh he smells like, and I swear he doesn’t even wear any cologne of perfume! Sometimes, it intimidates me especially when we would meet when I haven’t washed up yet.

Makeup. . . do I put makeup on? Uh. . . but it might just run off when we get sweaty—, stop imagining it Han Iseul! Ugh, this feeling . I am ually desperate to have my fiancé in that level of intimacy for the first time. I’m not usually a erted person, I never was.

I just love him so much and now that we’re about to get married, I just want to give him my all as well.

I could have waited until marriage but guys. . .

I’m turning twenty-eight soon. Have mercy on me.

Okay? Just wish me luck that this won’t go as a disaster.

A/N:

I feel all lazy today, the whole day, and I initially planned not to update at all because I am so lazy like I could just lie down the bed staring at the ceiling and I am satisfied. I thought I'll completely turn into a potato but my alter ego said I should effin get up and update because Han Iseul is in great crisis right now with her desperation. She just couldn't wait can't she? LOL.

"I heard you there. I'm not desperate!"

Omo, she heard me. I'm so scared. boohoo.

Alright, I need to stop this bs. See how ridiculous I am today/tonight?

I swear I'm not drunk. If french fries get you drunk. . . well, maybe I am. 

I watched Allegiant and I wore black.

#TheRandomnessIsRealStruggle