“Bye~ See you tomorrow.”

Smiling and waving at my co-workers at the restaurant, I walk out of the kitchen entrance. The restaurant’s closing in a few minutes. It was a hectic day today because a show featured the restaurant so we really prepared a lot. Well back to me, how was I being back to single? It’s been like. . . over a week? I can’t remember well—no, damn why am I lying to myself? It’s been one week, three days and thirteen hours and not even one time that Kyungsoo tried contacting me.

It hurts so bad I just had to act out even to myself not to feel hurt any further.

Maybe that’s just the way it is.

We’re really not for each other.

At least I was able to help someone improve in social matters even just a little.

I just. . . hope the best for him.

I drive straight home since I am super exhausted. Add the fact that I had to make one order this morning and deliver it before going to work by eleven. My job as a pastry chef isn’t really that early because I’m not the only pastry chef there. I’ve been working my out for the past days. It’s been a while since I’ve become so caught up with working.

Maybe it’s my one way to relieve stress. . .

Or the pain.

As soon as I arrive home, I gave myself a long and warm bubble bath. It relaxes my head every time I’m in the tub. But another thing I hate the most in my bathroom is that. . . this is also where my mind starts thinking about random stuffs and by random stuffs I mean Do Kyungsoo stuffs.

It’s a love-hate relationship with bath time.

That one thing you need to relieve from your mind through bath time just had to be the only thing you want to think about during bath thoughts.

How cruel humans could be to themselves, right?

Maybe he really didn’t love me as much as I did. Or probably, he was just obliged to feel it because that’s what his main reason to why he’s seeing me anyway. Maybe. . . I ended up as a Do Kyungsoo Life Pattern too. ‘Just because I have to experience it.’ kind of thing for him.

I feel a deep stab onto my chest just by thinking about it.

Because for me, it was more than an experience.

It was a chance.

My bath time thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. I groan in irritation as I pull myself up from the tub. I wrap my wet hair with a towel then wore a bathrobe. Please don’t let it be Hana and Soomi right now, I just can’t talk and talk about the breakup continuously because it doesn’t help with my moving on stage. I need to be alone, even free from best friend comforts right now.

I need time for myself.

As soon as I arrive at the door, I look into the peek hole first and gasped when I saw the least expected person I would see, of course that would be Do Kyungsoo. I lean my back on the door and I feel myself starting to gasp for air. Do I open? Do I ignore? What should I do? Why is he here? Will he apologize? Or will he confirm the breakup like. . . for real? Not that it’s not confirmed yet but. . . you know what I mean.

Slowly turning around again, I rub my palm onto my damp face again before hesitantly grabbing the knob. , why did I only wear a robe. This is so awkward but I’m already here. I slowly turn the knob but instead of opening the door wide, I only pull it slightly just so I could peek outside. I meet eyes with Kyungsoo who still looked the same.

He looked rather. . . fine.

Not the look you would usually see from people who just had a breakup.

“W-what are you doing here?” I ask, still not opening the door wide enough for him to see me fully. “Hi.” He greets and my heart begins pounding. His voice, I missed his voice so much. “Hello.” I unknowingly greet back— this. Why is his greeting so pandemic. “There’s a ball in the university tomorrow night, do you mind being my date?” He asks and my jaw dropped in disbelief.

That made me finally open the door wide enough for him to see I’m only in my bathrobe.

He purses his lips together and hid his hands behind him politely.

“Are you kidding me??” I ask while glaring at him. “No, I am not kidding you actually. I don’t know any female that could be my date besides you and also, I was afraid you would get mad if I really did ask someone else.” He explains. “DO KYUNGSOO I JUST BROKE UP WITH YOU.” I exclaim and he just looked straight at me. “I am aware of that. But it doesn’t mea—“ It means everything!” I cut him off even before he could explain his side.

“You.” I point a finger at him. “Unless you go here to apologize and fix things. . . NO, it’s not the same, NO we can’t be friends, NO you can’t act like nothing happened and NO I don’t want to be your date.” I explain with my firm tone. “Are you sure? There’s a lot of nice food there we can eat.” He said and that only made me fume even more.

“Do I look like a freaking pig to you?? Ugh! Whatever.” I grunt and slam the door closed again. I quickly clutched on my throbbing chest. , I missed him so much. I felt like jumping on him for a hug earlier but I held it the whole time. “Han Iseul?” I hear his voice again while he knocks. “Shutting the door means you need to leave!” I shout angrily but I already have my crying face.

“Breaking up with me means I may not see you anymore?” He asks again and my tears begin forming. “Yes.” I answer. “What if I want to get back together? May I?” He asks and I cover my eyes with my palm. “You make it sound so easy and it’s not.” I answer with my shaky voice. “Just leave, Kyungsoo.” I add. “Very well. . .” I hear his faint voice. Once I hear his footsteps slowly fading, I put my hands on my face and start crying.

“Why are you so dumb in this, Kyungsoo. . .” I mutter to myself as I walk to my couch and sat. I keep on thinking. . . what if he just didn’t really mean what he said that night? What if he’s just being the good old Do Kyungsoo that I came to accept?

But at the same time, is it bad for me to demand for more romance and appreciation?

I know for a fact that it was his nature to have a hard time giving those that I am needing but another fact is that. . . he managed to fall in love with me—or at least that’s what I know. Just then, I hear the doorbell ring again. With my heavy heart, I walk back to it and opened the door.

It was him again.

Even before I could meet eyes with him, I close it again. “What do you want.” I ask firmly through the closed door. “Why’d you close it? May we talk while seeing each other?” He asks. “No. I already told you to leave.” I answer and lean on the door. “The other time. . . I saw a new café? They sell nice croissants that I assumed you would like. Do you want to try it?” He asks. “Kyungsoo, this is not funny anymore. Just leave if you don’t need anything else.” I said and cover my face trying to suppress the urge to give in.

“A-are you not hungry?” He asks. Tears heavily streamed down my cheeks as I listen to his clueless tone. I want him to learn, I want him to grow through this breakup but he’s still the same. “Please, just leave. I already ate.” I answer while trying my best not to let out a shaky voice. “Have you eaten already? I have memorized your time of dinner, you haven’t had dinner by this time.” He tells.

“Why can’t you just leave huh??” I shout out of frustration. There was a brief silence until he speaks again. “Can't we be friends, at least?” he asks. I cover my mouth as I suppress my loud sob from coming out. “Kyungsoo, breakup’s don’t work like that. We need to give time to each other to. . . think about it.” I explain.

“Think about what? Actually, I wasn’t able to visit you for a long time because I left for a seminar trip in Daegu and the area I was at had a very bad signal, I couldn’t use my phone. Are you being mad because of it? I can make it up to you if you want. I will pay if we go out.” He tells. My heart shatters as I heard him speak. He really doesn’t know what hurts and what doesn’t. “Kyungsoo, please. You are an intelligent guy. . . and so I hope you know how a breakup works.” I mumble out.

“Yes I know but may I also know how long does it have to work? How long do we have to think?” He asks. I was slowly losing my patience, patience to hold myself up and just forgive him but I can’t. He needs time, not only do I need it. He actually needs it more than I do. I couldn’t answer anymore, I knew that as long as I am answering back, he will speak.

He won’t end this conversation.

“Iseul?” He calls. I purse my lips together to hold the temptation to call him back like the usual. “Are you still there? Do you really not want to try that café with me? It’s alright if we go there as friends. Could you open the door?” He pleads. “I don’t want to try the café alone and you pick better in menus. I will drive you home straight after eating if you’re really tired. Okay? When I got home, I wanted to visit you first because. . . it was a long seminar and I’m not very sure why but I want to. Are you still there or. . .” He adds with his soft tone.

That tone that shows me how dense he is.

“A-am I just talking to myself right now? If I am. . . alright, if you really want me to think about us, then I will. But I can’t assure you anything because I don’t know what to think about. I thought we were doing fine. Well. . . have a good night.” He tells and I hear his footsteps fading away now. I stifle a sob while having the back of my palm over my mouth.

How do I make a man learn if he doesn’t know he needs to learn?

A/N: I don't know why but I feel so so so sorry for both, I can't even side on anyone.