"Was it hard?" Sehun asked me in what was over two weeks since the attack. It hurted not being able to see his face but I could only hear his voice through the door. 

I coughed, the tears were making it's way again. "Hard for what?" I ask not knowing what hard meant anymore. Everything was so dang hard. Family is hard. Friendship is hard. Trust and Loyalty is hard. And love was extremely hard. But I guess hate was easy for him.

"Letting go. Letting go of everything." He shuffles, I could hear his legs scraping the floor and wooden door. I figured he was pinning his ear against the door to hear my words.

"Not as hard as holding onto something that wasn't real." I say and grit my teeth hoping that he couldn't hear my sniffles. I knew what I meant. The love that we had wasn't real. Nothing here seemed real anymore. The memories I made with him and the other girls were all like a dream. This felt like a dream, the feeling of being locked in a room where no one could visit me because they were afraid of the threat I could possess. It was better if I just let everything go. Every feeling that I had for him or the thought that we would someday become a family.

And here I am, still denying the part where the Elostria Kingdom officially claimed me as their long lost Princess two weeks ago. They had sent me a letter, telling me that they were waiting for me at home. And promised to cancel all grudges and attacks on the Kingdom of Hayven if they let me free. Back to where I should belong.

"Is that what you want to hear from me?" I ask as I placed my hand against the door. There was no window in this room, no place to escape. I wouldn't have planned to escape anyways, what use would I be dead? Also, it wasn't my fault that I suddenly became a royal princess out of nowhere.

Sehun doesn't answer me. But I could still feel him sitting on the other side of the door, his body probably leaned against the door like how I am right now. "Sehun..." I breathed hoping he would listen to me. "Do you hate me?" I question wanting to know his anwer. I wanted to know if he had let me go. 

He doesn't say anything. I suddenly gave up and cried. "Is it my fault that I'm one of them? You can't put all the blame on me." I took a deep breathe which made me cry even more. "I didn't choose it. It chose me." I finally say. "But I guess no one cares. Then I'll give you a tip," I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand. "Might as well use me to your advantage. Save your country." I swallowed. "Save Seulgi and my parents for me. Tell them I love them."  

My nails dug into the hem of my dress nervously in hopes that he would give me a reply. "Remember what I told you? That I'd give you up?" I breathe, "I've already decided that I will. No regrets. It's the best for us both right?" I try to smile but only taste the salty tears.

There was still no response, I guess I really was talking to a door. I coughed and stood up to sit on the bed. I've gotten really tired and restless. Perhaps it was the lack of walking around since I've been locked in here only. I used to be active when I was able to walk around the palace, freely. I think I've gained a couple of pounds although I barely eat, even with the feast that they'd bring in my room.

My eyes trailed to the books that I had finished reading which sat on the desk beside me. There was little light in the room and the little calendar that I made mysel