VIXX performed their song live on the stage. After performing, they went to backstage to wait the ending of the show because at the end of the show there would be an announcement about the winner of the week.

In the waiting room backstage

“Leo-hyung, may I borrow your phone?” asked Ravi

“here you are.” Leo gave his phone

“ok, thank you.” Said Ravi and Leo nodded his head.

Suddenly, Jongwan entered the room and said something

“Leo, N, follow me, I have something urgent to talk to you.”

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“Leo, N, I got the bad news for you. Many people said that you both have changed. They blamed the agency for not taking care of you two. They said that you both always look so tired all the time. And recently, you both rarely smile. So they blame the agency, and the owner of the agency blames me. So, is there anything wrong with you? I always give you time to rest. So, why do you look tired? Are you really tired?”  asked Jongwan in a room that was quiet from people around.

Leo and N didn’t know what to say, so they kept silent.

 “Do you do it on purpose?”

“no, of course not.” Said N

“then why?” asked Jongwan

Hearing no answer, Jongwan asked again

“why? What makes you like this? And you N, how many times should I tell you? You are the leader, right? Leader isn’t weak. And I think, you are a weak leader, very weak.”

N bowed his head. He heard it again, and of course he really hated it.

“and you Leo, what is so difficult about smiling at everyone? Why do you rarely smile? Are you in trouble? If so, do you want public to know that? You do that to get their attention?”

Leo looked at Jongwan in disbelief. He felt pain in his heart. At that time he was sure that nobody knew him well. He clearly looked like a person who didn’t talk much and rarely showed his emotions, but why couldn't everyone understand him? Why did they keep on forcing him to do what they want? Well, Leo didn’t mind that. One thing that disturbed him was the way they said it to him. Like Jongwan, he said it with some assumptions that hurt his heart.

“I don’t care about what you want to do, but I don’t want to hear those reactions from the people anymore. N, you used to smile. So please smile more. You have to smile no matter what happens, because you are the leader. So, you should be the best example to your members. Remember that leader isn’t weak. You are still very weak, so you should change. And you Leo, stop trying to get the attention from people.”

Then, they heard footsteps. People might come and see them, so Jongwan quit the conversation and he told them to go back to their waiting room.

That conversation made N’s and Leo’s mood went down. They hated Jongwan for saying the words that hurt them.

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After waiting for minutes, the ending segment on the show started. VIXX won as the winner. They were happy. They all were smiling when they get the trophy, except for Leo and N. They both were happy, but they didn’t smile much as the other members did. It looked like they had burdens in their hearts. They wanted to smile, but they just couldn’t. So, they both just gave a little smile and said thank you to the fans. But, it looked like Ravi didn’t smile brightly as well like he always did.

They went back to the dorm by Ken’s car. They didn’t use the van. It was because Jongwan and the staff used Jongwan's car. So, the car was enough to them.

Ken drove the car. N sat beside him.

“N-hyung, we got the trophy. But, it looks like you aren’t happy with it. Is everything okay?” asked Hongbin.

“I’m happy.” Said N with a forced smile.

“really?”

“yeah.”

“N-hyung, if there is anything that burdens you, just tell us.” Added Hyuk

“thanks.”

“ah, and what did Jongwan-hyung say to you?” asked Hongbin curiously

“nothing.” Said N

“hyung, I’m so curious. Jongwan-hyung told you that it was something urgent, right? So, what was that?”

“nevermind about that.”

“Hyung....” Hyuk and Hongbin started to whine.

“ah Leo-hyung, tell me. Jongwan-hyung talked to you too, right?” asked Hyuk

“you don’t need to know.” Said Leo

“hyung... You are so annoying.”

Leo just smirked, and that made Hyuk and Hongbin become more annoyed.

While Ravi, he only looked at Leo with a concerned look. They both sat together in the back seat of the car.

“why? Is there anything wrong?” asked Leo to Ravi

Ravi shook his head.

“oh, and where’s my phone?” asked Leo

“oh, right! Wait a moment.”

Then, Ravi took out the phone from his pocket and gave it to Leo

“thank you, hyung.” said Ravi

“yeah. What did you do with my phone?” asked Leo

“what? hmmm... no... nothing” Ravi stuttered

Fortunately, Leo just nodded his head. He realized that Ravi was hiding something from him, but he decided not to ask. He was already in a bad mood since Jongwan talked to him.

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After getting back to the dorm, N went to his and Ravi’s room immediately. He changed his costume. Fortunately, VIXX’s costumes always had long sleeve for this comeback. So, it could hide his scar (because of the cut) on his wrist even though his scars were almost faded. After that, he went to sleep. He disliked about what did Jongwan say to him. He really hated it. So, he tried to forget Jongwan’s words by sleeping.

Ravi entered his and N’s room and he saw N who was laying on the bed with eyes closed. He didn’t know if N was sleeping or not, so he asked him

“hyung, are you sleeping?”

Hearing Ravi’s question, N opened his eyes and replied him

“not yet, why?”

“don’t sleep. Let’s have dinner first.”

“I’m not in the mood to eat.”

“why?”

“I’m sleepy.”

“hyung, come on. I know that isn’t your reason.”

“what? I’m really sleepy, and I want to sleep.”

“whatever you want. If you get sick, then I won’t care about you.” Said Ravi, teasing him

“that’s okay cause nobody does.” said N

“what?” asked Ravi confusedly

“nevermind.”

“hyung... I’m just kidding. You know that I care about you, right? And so do the members.”

“hmm... Just sleep or if you want to have a dinner, you can leave now.” Said N, closing his eyes again

Ravi then left the room and went to the dinning room. There were Hyuk, Ken, and Hongbin. Ravi joined them. The table was still empty, only rice and eating utensils that were there.

“where is the food?” asked Ravi

“Leo-hyung is still preparing” Said Ken

Then, Leo came with the food.

“yay” said Hongbin, Hyuk, Ken, and Ravi. They were so hungry. And Leo kindly made omelettes for them. Omelette was a very simple dish, but for hungry people, it tasted really delicious.

“thank you hyung.” Said Ken

“yeah, thank you very much.” Added Hongbin, Hyuk, and Ravi

Leo nodded his head. Then, they started to eat.

“Hyung, it’s really delicious. I like it.” Said Hongbin

Leo smiled. He was happy to hear that.

“I wonder if you aren’t here. The members must be starving all the time.” Said Hongbin

“yeah, thank you for being born.” Said Ken jokingly

“haha, that is too much.” Said Leo. He couldn’t help but smile.

Then, they all laughed together.

N was thirsty, so he decided to get a glass of water in the fridge. The fridge was located in the kitchen. So, he had to pass the dining room first to get that. And at that time, N saw the members who were laughing happily.

‘I shouldn’t be here. They are still happy without me.’ Thought N.

N decided to get back to his room. And in his room, he cried. He remembered Jongwan’s words again.

To be continued...........

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