Warning: This chapter contains of self-harm. If you are sensitive with something like that, or if that triggers you, so please don't read it, ok?

“Ken-ah, I know. I know.” Said Leo

 “no, you don’t! If you know, then why are you so calm? And why are you not worried?”

“do you know me well?” asked Leo

“what? why are you suddenly asking me that? what do you mean?” asked Ken back confusedly

“well, I think you don’t understand me.” Said Leo

“hyung, what do you mean?”

“I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

Then Leo went to his bed. Ken wanted to protest, but he got annoyed by Leo, so he just walked to his own bed and slept.

While Leo, he felt pain in his heart. He knew almost everything about Ken. But, it seemed like Ken didn’t know about him at all. It was hard for Leo to express his feelings and emotions. He was always expressionless. But, that didn’t mean that he didn’t care or something like that. He cared for Ken, and also to the members.

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“N-HYUNG, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” yelled Ravi in the early morning when he found N was cutting himself in the bathroom.

N was surprised. It seemed that he forgot to lock the door. Then, he just cried.

“HYUNG!” Ravi approached N and he took his blade.

“what are you doing? Why are you like this?” asked Ravi.

Ravi shed his tears. He had no idea about what was going on. And at that time, the other members came.

“hyung, what’s happening? Oh no! N-hyung, what happened to your wrist?” asked Hyuk. He was really shocked.

Hongbin was also shocked. He couldn’t imagine something like this. Leo and Ken were there too. All the members were awakened by Ravi's scream. And they were really surprised to see that.

Ken’s tears fell immediately. It must because of him. Thought him.

Leo looked at Ken for a while, and he realized that Ken was crying. He wanted to pat his shoulders, but he didn’t.

Then, Ravi washed N’s wound, and bandaged it. N let Ravi did that. He didn’t say anything and didn’t refuse.

“hyung, will you tell me more about this?” asked Ravi

But, N only kept silent. The members who were watching them were also sad. They didn’t know what to say, so they were just standing and watching until Hongbin broke the silence.

“hyung, if you want to talk, we’re here for you. Don’t keep it all to yourself.” Said Hongbin

“yes, hyung, we don’t want you to do it again.” Said Hyuk

Then, N cried again. He felt their sincerity. But, when he remembered the hater’s bad articles about him, he felt sad again.

“hyung, don’t cry.” Said Ravi, hugging him

“I’m sorry.” Finally N replied.

“about what? You don’t have any mistakes.”

“I’m sorry for everything.” Said N as he tightened his arms to Ravi

Ken couldn’t control his emotion anymore. He wanted to cry so badly.  It was because of him. He made his hyungs suffer. Then, he ran out of N’s and Ravi’s room. He went to his and Leo’s room and cried there.

“why? Why it became like this? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It happened because of me. I’m sorry.” Said Ken to himself.

At that time, he wanted to cut again. But, he didn’t want to take the risk if anyone would see him. So, he decided to just wait the right time when nobody was there.

Then, Leo knocked the door and he went in.

“are you ok?” asked Leo

Ken didn’t reply. He just wiped his tears.

“well, I just want to say, that don’t do something stupid.” Said Leo

Then Leo went out of that room, leaving Ken in surprised. Leo didn’t usually like this.

‘does Leo-hyung really not care about me anymore? Well, he came here to check if I was okay or not. But, that didn’t make any sense. He just left after saying some words without waiting my reply.’ Ken thought to himself.

“Leo-hyung, am I that bad? Do you hate me too?”

To be continued....