She just smiled at him and turned away. When she returned home and after Donghae had helped take Melodix out Victoria found herself clutching onto the blanket she had wrapped around herself. She had left all the lights on in her house and had remained seated on the couch in the living room keeping watch on the police outside of her home. If he suddenly disappeared she was sure she’d feel like going crazy. She was getting more paranoid by the hour and as the sky got darker. Was someone watching? Would someone hurt her? Would someone try to get into her home? Victoria watched Melodix who’d fallen asleep beside her soundly. If there were someone who tried to get in she knew Melodix would be on her feet immediately.

Victoria glanced at her phone on the table. Maybe she shouldn’t have let him leave earlier. Donghae was her only source of security.

“No,” Victoria told herself, “you can pull through this alone.”

During times like these he was letting her depend on him too much. She would only allow her vulnerability to go as far as this.

/////

“And when you get back there, Chief, can you take a look at the flowers on the table for me?” Donghae questioned. “There were red roses on the table. If you can, can you take those flowers for me?”

“What do you want those for? If the forensics team haven’t thrown those away I can probably get my hands on those.”

“I need to check something out…to be on the safe side.”

“Is that so? Alright, I’ll make a call to check it out then get back to you,” Chief Kang told. “And good job Donghae.”

After he hung up he paced back and forth inside his home. He’d just reported to Chief Kang the information he’d received from Victoria earlier in the day but he didn’t feel like he could sit down and relax. After debating to himself he finally grabbed his phone and called her.

“Hello?”

“Ah…Victoria? Are you still up?”

“Yea.”

“Are you doing ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

“Oh,” Donghae muttered a laugh, “I was just wondering. I just wanted to check up on you.”

“Ok,” was her reply before she hung up leaving Donghae to stare at his phone.

“Now I’m bored again,” he sat down and stared at TV. “Should I watch some sports?”

/////

Victoria returned to school the next morning. Classes had to proceed as normal and she couldn’t skip out on lectures. In Ji’s classes were all cancelled and the news spread around the school like a swarm of bees. They were holding a memorial for their beloved teacher tomorrow evening on the school grounds and Victoria wasn’t planning to miss it.

Whenever she walked toward her office she always had to stop and stare into In Ji’s office. What if she was in there? What if one day she just appeared there? Why was In Ji’s office so close to hers? Why had she been so close to this beautiful friendly woman? Why did it have to be her? Questions of despair filled her mind and in order to stop thinking about them she buried herself in her school work.

A lot of students and professors had showed up for the memorial. And for one part Victoria was glad she wasn’t the only one trying to hold back her tears. She had been so absorbed in their singing and prayers that she hadn’t noticed Donghae. Hidden in the midst of all the others she wasn’t sure how he’d found her. She only turned when she felt someone take hold of her hand. He smiled back at her then turned away giving his attention to all the other professors and students. It was too soon for her to feel her own heart beat accelerate, but it did and she was glad to feel the warmth.

“I’m taking your hand, not giving you my hand,” Donghae whispered. “So, if I get hurt later you’re going to have to be responsible. And if I hurt you, I’ll compensate you.”

“7 months, In Seol, that you’ve been gone and someone has entered my life. Are you watching me with regret? Are you sorry for leaving me now?” Victoria silently asked.

4 people had left her in one year. 4 precious friends who filled her life, one of them who could have been her soul mate. All 4 of them had left her after they’d filled a hole in her heart. If she put one more friend into her heart would he leave her, too? The fear was too strong for her to even joke around with the question. And unconsciously she grasped his hand in return.

“Have you had lunch?” he asked a while later as they crossed the street back toward the psychology department.

“Why? If you’re treating then lets go,” she said.

“Woah…you really know how to leech off others.”

“I learned it from the pro,” Victoria smiled, “besides you’ve always offered to pay, haven’t you?”

“Now if you say that…” he said thinking back, “I have always offered to pay.”

“But since my mood has improved today should we split?” she asked.

“Sounds good.”

“Should we meet over there?”

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t you drive your own car here?”

“No. I knew this would happen so I took a cab.”

Victoria frowned at him, “You should pay for the gas fare too.”

“Don’t joke around,” he said running ahead to her car. “Hurry up! I’m hungry.”

Victoria tossed him the keys, “You drive.”

“Why?”

“Says I,” Victoria told. “Hurry up.”

“You mean because this would be the first date?”

“Date?”

“Of course.”

“This is not a date.”

“Even after you held my hand?”

“That was not holding hands.”

“This is not holding hands?” he asked holding both his hands together.

“If you keep going on we can forget about lunch,” she threatened.

“I was just playing around,” he said unlocking the doors. “You’re no fun.”

Victoria just smiled and got into the car. After lunch Donghae wanted to take Melodix out for a walk and after his torturous teases she finally gave in. She was thankful that she was allowed to think freely and avoid any thoughts related to In Ji all because of him. Pausing a little she watched him from behind holding onto Melodix’s leash. Her feelings for him weren’t quite there yet, but she’d already taken his hand so there was no turning back.

When they finally arrived back to her house Victoria opened the door to let Melodix inside the house before turning back to Donghae.

“You’re not inviting me in?”

“Why do you want to come in?”

“Can’t I hang out for a bit?”

“Don’t you have work to do?”

Donghae pressed his lips together then smiled, “I’ll come back later anyway. Bye.” He gave her a quick hug leaning his head on her shoulder before turning around.

Victoria watched him get into a cab with a smile plastered onto her face. He was such a kid but then his silliness made her want to laugh.

/////

He stepped toward the summer house feeling new. Now that he’d taken a step forward he felt much better. Even if she wasn’t all there for him he was determined to make her go crazy over him. He smiled at that thought sure that one day she wouldn’t want to forget him.

“Donghae,” a voice came to him.

Donghae turned around to see Chief Kang walking toward him with a paper bag in his hands.

“What’s wrong with you? Did you not hear me when I called you?”

“Oh, Chief. Since when did you get here?”

“Right after you.”

“Really? I didn’t notice.”

“You’re day dreaming pretty hard there,” Chief Kang smiled. “But you seem more than your cheerful-self.”

“Because something good just happened,” he smiled uncontrollably, “anyway what are you here for?”

“Here,” the chief handed Donghae the paper bag, “it’s what you wanted. I made sure no one touched them so if you want to do whatever with them go ahead. The forensics team said they found nothing from the flowers anyway.”

Donghae glanced at the flowers in the paper bag his happiness quickly fading away. He’d forgotten about them ever since…yesterday when he’d been so caught up about his own thoughts. But they were something Victoria wanted him to check out and he wouldn’t go back on his words.