Amnesiac

- - - -

The first thing she felt was a terrible body ache. She didn't know where she was. She looked down and saw a tube coming out of her hand and a hospital gown that she was clad in.

A doctor walked towards her and after a initial medical examination he asked, "What is your name?"

She could not find a word to say. She was trying to work her mind hard, it was as if it was just there but she wasn't able to say it.

Her face must have revealed her expression for the doctor quickly announced, "Don't worry, it's normal to be hazy after being unconscious for more than a week after the accident. Can you remember where are you from?"

She shook her head.

"I'm sure your memory will come back after some time." Said doctor and he patted her hand assuredly. "There are people here to meet you."

"Who?" She asked and felt hope flood her body. The memory would trigger her if she saw them.

Two figures of a woman and the other of a man came into the room. As soon as the woman entered she ran over to her.

"Oh my baby!" She cried and went to hug her tightly. "Don't worry Mum is here." She began her hair lovingly.

Something stirred inside her, not familiarity. Her mother? She looked up to notice the guy standing behind. Her mother was affectionate, he on the other hand looked anything but that. His mouth was set in a grim line which made her feel really unsure of him. He just stood there with his hands stuck deep inside the pockets. His white shirt and dark tie clearly indicated that his outfit was supposed to be a suit but the jacket was absent.

"Oh I was so worried about you, Sulli."

The name dragged her attention to the woman overflowing with tears. So her name was Sulli.

"Mum?" Sulli made an attempt to start conversation. If nothing else this made her mother wail even louder.

The man standing behind her put a hand on her mother's shoulder.

Her mother lifted her tear stained face from Sulli's shoulder and gazed at that man. Then turning she said, "Sweetheart you do remember Minho?" Her mother searched her eyes.

"I.... " Sulli trailed and looked at this Minho guy. He was good looking. She looked into his dark eyes which held a mixed expression of confusion and hope. "I'm sorry but I don't remember you or anything for that matter."

Minho walked over to her side and hesitated before putting his hand over her. "Everything is gonna be alright, okay? You just have some rest"

"All I've done is rest this past week." Said Sulli and she gave Minho a wry smile. He too smiled at her, but his smile was filled with pity.

"How can you not remember him?" Her mother shrieked in disbelief. "He's your husband!"

Her heartbeat stopped momentarily, Sulli looked over to Minho whose face had lost all it's colour as if he didn't know that removed his hand from hers.

- - - -

Minho looked over to the woman seated near him in his car at the backseat. His wife. In some ways she was still the same. She sat there, her nose crinkled as she concentrated on road. Her hair were tied as a knot on top of her head and a few wayward strands had escaped and were touching her cheek. He had an almost irrepressible urge to go and tuck those strands behind her ear. But he knew better, the doctor had told him to give her time, to practice patience with her. The memories would come back in their own accord and pressurizing her won't do any good. He remembered the way she had flinched when her engagement ring and wedding band had been given back to her. She'd preferred to put the rings back on, herself.

"We'll reach home in a couple of minutes."

Sulli looked at Minho who was looking out of the car window. As if sensing her gaze, he turned and his eyes met hers for a moment before she turned them away.

Soon they were in front of a villa, it's modern and minimalistic design striking a contrast with the lush gardens surrounding it. The sweet smell of flowers and the tangy smell of oranges cut her thoughts. She took a deep breath, appreciating the view.

"You designed it, you know?" Said Minho as he stood beside her.

"Then I guess, I have really good tastes."

Minho chuckled. "Come on. Let's go." He put his hand on her back to lead her towards the house. Sulli stiffened instantly and sensing her hesitation he quietly removed his hand.

If the house had been good from outside, its interiors were even better. Sulli stood at the center of the living room. Towards her right the wall was made completely out of glass. And towards her left the wall was covered by family photographs. She walked over to them. There were a couple of family portraits, on one she spotted Minho among people she supposed it was his family, and on the other she was there with him, his arm lying on her shoulder and her head resting on his. She looked happy. Then there was one in which she had climbed on his back and was taking a piggy back ride.

"Who's she?" Sulli asked Minho, pointing at a beautiful woman in a family portrait.

"She's my sister, Minjung noona and so is she." Minho pointed at another woman. "Soomin noona."

"And these are their husbands?"

Minho nodded. "Seojun hyung and Taehan hyung, and these are their children." He said gesturing towards a bunch of children surrounding them.

"All of them?" Asked Sulli bewildered.

"Yes, they are like a freakin' baby machine."

Sulli smiled but then she couldn't help wondering, because she was his wife, how odd it must be for him that she was asking such basic questions.

His phone rang. Minho answered it and excused himself from the room. For a while Sulli kept gazing at the pictures but then decided to explore the house herself. Wasn't it supposed to be her home too?

Sulli climbed the stairs after visiting the kitchen and a couple of other rooms. After some guest bedrooms, she found what she was looking for. The master bedroom.

She knew it was hers. It was instinct, or maybe it was the picture of Minho and her that hung above the king sized bed. Sulli walked towards a door in the bedroom and opened it. A walk in closet lay in front of her. It was lined with clothes, dresses, tops and jeans on one side and men's clothes mostly suits and some T-shirts and jeans on the other side.

She walked inside and ran her hand over the line of clothes that hung in the closet. Her hand stopped on a dry cleaner's bag. She took it off the hook and opened the bag carefully. The receding zip gave way to delicate white chiffon. She gasped. Slowly taking out the dress of the bag, she looked at it. Layers of chiffon made a dress which could best be described as elegant. She couldn't help herself. She went outside to the room and stood in front of the mirror, holding the dress in front of her. She gazed at the mirror and felt a wave of grief wash over her. How desperately she wished to remember something anything. The dress should mean something to her, but it didn't.

Minho chose this moment in time to enter the bedroom. "I see you found it."

Color rose to her cheeks. Sulli felt like a thief who was caught red-handed. "Oh, I was just... seeing if this could trigger any memory. But no luck."

"I'm sure it would come back."

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could give me some photographs to look at. Maybe..."

"They are in that drawer." Said Minho pointing to one in the nightstand. "Also, I wanted to talk you about--"

"Yes, I know all this is super weird--"

"No it's not that and yes, this is super weird but I wanted to tell you--"

The shrill sound of the door-bell suddenly interrupted him.

Minho shook his head. "I guess we have guests." He turned to leave the room. "I understand if you want to rest." He said turning back.

Sulli shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

They went downstairs and through the glass panel Sulli saw the women which she supposed it were Minho's sisters with all their family.

"!" Muttered Minho and opened the door.

His sisters gave a really wide smile and almost instantly a little girl ran towards Sulli and hugged her.

"Mommy!" She shouted with joy.

This made Sulli breathe the same response her husband did when he saw his sisters.

'.'

Sulli felt something stir inside her.

The little girl raised her head. "Where were you, mommy? Jimmy was bad to me. He put Peppa Pig  in the washer."

A boy six or seven years old came out of the bunch of children. "She started it!" He spat.

Sulli looked at the little child embracing her. No older than six. Huge brown eyes stared at her. So much like Minho's. But that was where the similarity with Minho ended. Long hair, white skin everything was Sulli's.

Before Sulli could say anything, Minho cut in. "She was sick, honey."

The girl looked at her. "You sick, mommy?"

It took Sulli a moment to find her voice. "I'm fine."

"Jaemi, why don't you show your cousins the new pony you were talking about?" It was Minho's sister, Soomin said that.

"Fine." Jaemi ran upstairs followed by a group of kids.

Sulli turned back her head towards the people in front of her. "Hi." She tried to greet them as cheerfully as she could.

"Hello! I'm Soomin, this is Taehan my husband and that is Minjung and her husband Seojun. We are Minho's elder sisters."

Sulli smiled at them.

"I've already told her about you guys, noona." Said Minho to his sister.

"Oh..." This time it was Minjung. "We're so sorry Sulli. I'm sure your memory will come back soon."

"Yeah." Sulli smiled. She wasn't able to do anything else. As if having a husband wasn't one hell of a shock, she now had a daughter too!

"Why don't you guys sit down, while I get you something to drink." Minho's voice interrupted her thoughts and without giving her a single look, he hurried to the kitchen.

Sulli tried to make small talk with them for a while, but then escaped to the kitchen in the pretext of helping Minho. She wanted to talk to him, when had he been planning to tell her about their child?

Minho inhaled the aroma of coffee as he poured it in mugs. He knew he should've told her about Jaemi sooner. Damn! he had been about to, when his sisters had marched in with their families. They should've at least waited a day!

"When were you planning on telling me that we have a kid?" A voice came from behind. Sulli stood on the doorway.

Minho turned and leaned against the counter. " I was about to. I just didn't know if you were ready."

"And do I look ready to you now?"

"I didn't call them!" He justified. He heard her laugh softly and he felt himself smiling, in spite of the situation.

- - - -

Sulli looked at Sponge bob who was gracing the tv screen at the moment. Then she looked down at the little girl lying on her stomach, watching the cartoon intently. What was she going to do? She had not yet talked to Jaemi. She didn't want to. What would she talk about? Like hey! I've been told that you are my daughter, but you know what's the funny thing? I don't remember you at all and even your father for that matter!

Jaemi turned her head to look at her. "Mommy, can I get some Chocolate?"

Sulli nodded and Jaemi got up and ran towards the kitchen. Sulli looked at her receding figure, her long hair bouncing behind her. A thought struck her. The photographs! She had completely forgotten it!

Sulli ran upstairs and took the photographs. Sitting on the side of the bed, she began to browse through them. There were a lot of those. Mostly family photos and a couple of other people whom she didn't recognize. She wished she could ask Minho but he had left after he got a call and wasn't due to return until the evening.

Sulli found photographs in which she held an infant. Her own daughter, Jaemi.

- - - -

"Daddy did you scold Jimmy oppa?" Jaemi asked as Minho tucked her in for the night.

"Yes sweetie, I did." Minho smiled and kissed her forehead. Then he looked at Sulli his eyebrows raised. Seeing her confused expression, he tilted his head towards Jaemi.

Sulli got it. She walked towards the child's bed and bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Good night, mommy."

"Good night."

"Good night, princess." Minho wished and left the room followed by Sulli.

Back in the master bedroom, Minho went towards the closet and got out some clothes. They were not going to sleep together in the same bed, were they?

He walked up to her. "Have you taken your pills?"

She nodded. He too nodded and for a while there was an awkward silence.

"Look I have set myself up at the spare bedroom, so the room is all yours."

She nodded again. "Look, Minho this is a temporary arrangement. I just need time to adjust, that's all."

"I understand."

And then something overcame her and in a reflex action she kissed him. It was a light brush but then Sulli felt his hand on her back as he pressed her closer to him. The kiss was no longer a light brush nor, was it a full on passionate kiss but it was something in between. Something sweet, which made butterflies flutter in her stomach. And then Minho jerked away, his eyes wide with surprise.

"! I'm sorry I didn't mean to--"

"No! It was me. I don't know what happened to me. It was like a conditioned reflex or, something."

"Yeah, m-maybe. It was the good night kiss, I g-guess." Minho stammered.

"Of course" Sulli gave a nervous laugh.

"I should probably go now..."

"Yeah, you should."

"If you need anything just call me, I'm in the next room."

Sulli nodded for the millionth time. And Minho almost ran out of the room.

- - - -

"So will my memory ever come back?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. It may." A dramatic pause. "Or it may not."

"Minho suggested that we try and relive major moments. It may help trigger my memory."

Dr. Kim Sumi sighed. "Sulli, contrary to popular belief reliving past moments doesn't usually unlock repressed memories. It's just stuff for the movies. But there's probably no harm in trying that."

"If my memory can't return back, then why am I here?"

"To help you cope with the daily routine."

"But, I'm managing fine."

Dr. Kim stared at her patient. "Why don't you tell me your plan?"

"Plan? Like what?"

"I don't know. Your plan for the afternoon or maybe for the evening."

"I..." Sulli tried to concentrate. Her mind went blank, just like a nervous student's during a exam.

"You aren't able to plan anythting, are you? The doctor smiled at her kindly. "This is a common trait seen in patients suffering from amnesia. They are unable to plan for the future."

"Why?"

"Because how we think about our future depends upon our memories. We relate both of them to each other."

Sulli narrowed her eyes. "That does make sense."

"So Sulli, is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?"

Sulli shook her head. "Nope. I guess I should leave then." She looked at the clock and stood up to leave.

"What about your relationship with Minho and Jaemi?"

"Fine, really fine."

"So, there is nothing you wanted to talk about?" Dr. Kim raised her brows questioningly.

Sulli shook her head. What was there to talk about? That she wanted the earth to swallow her after she kissed Minho last night? So he was her husband! To her it was like kissing a total stranger.

Still shaking her head, "There is this thing. I kind of kissed Minho last night."

Doctor looked at her knowingly. "Tell me more."

Sulli sat back. "So we were in the bedroom last night and suddenly I don't know what happened, I just kissed him."

"And what did he do?"

"He..." She paused. "He kisssed me back."

Dr. Kim said nothing and then after a moment she threw her pen at Sulli

"What the--" Sulli caught it mid-air.

"Here's your answer."

"The pen?"

"No. What you did yesterday was an example of conditioned reflex. I threw a pen at you, you caught it. You are in some certain conditioned situation when you kiss him. It comes naturally to you, in fact, it comes naturally to most couples. If you were a pianist, you would still know how to play a piano, even after retrograde amnesia sets in."

"That's believable." Sulli nodded. "There is one more thing I would like to discuss. It's about Jaemi."

A buzzer beside Dr. Kim's chair buzzed. She pressed a red button on it. "Yes, Haein?"

"It's time for your next appointement, doctor."

"Thanks, Haein." She let go of the red button. "I'm sorry Sulli I'm afraid this will have to wait until our next appointement."

- - - -

Minho was curious when he didn't find Sulli and Jaemi in the house. He searched upstairs. And then a sight caught his eye through the living room glass wall. A woman, holding a small girl's hand. They were walking towards the garden. He couldn't help but smile. He knew he should give them space, but he couldn't help himself. He ran towards them.

Hearing his steps they both turned.

"Daddy!" Jaemi acknowledged her father. She freed her hand from her mother and Minho picked her up.

"How's my little angel?"

"Mommy bought me ice-cream."

"She did?" Minho looked at Sulli who gave him a warm smile.

"We went to some place nearby." Said Sulli.

"So, how was the therapist's appointement?" Minho enquired.

"Good, actually. We have an appointement again next week."

It was only a couple of hours later that the three returned home. Minho decided to fix up dinner.

"Here, let me help." Said Sulli, joining him in the kitchen.

Minho looked at her. Should he tell her? Probably not.

"What?" Sulli gave him a familiar look.

"Nothing." Said Minho. She would discover it herself that she hated cooking.

"Do yo