I used to think that people were born, then grew up to do whatever they had to in order to get by, or if they were lucky, everything was handed to them. Then they'd go through life, whether it was a good life or a bad one, and then die. Live, and die. To me, I thought that my whole life would always be running from my previous problems, to searching for love that I didn't even know I wanted. But then I met Luhan. 

Funny how someone can change your life so much, isn't it? 

 

At the time I was in college, I watched everyone around me chase after someone, then I'd see them cry and become hateful towards the person they had been head over heels for the previous week. I remember thinking that if that was love, I didn't want it. I'd always been the person trying to avoid anything that would cause me pain, even though I'd gone numb to any feelings at all long before college. That's why, when I saw Luhan, I couldn't quite put my finger on what my emotion was- simply because I'd never experienced it before. 

 

Surely though, despite my strong feeling of unwant back then, it was love at first sight. I truly believe love at first sight is a real thing, but not everyone experiences it. Back then though, I thought I was going insane, becoming so infatuated by a child, yet he proved to be much more. 

 

At first, Luhan seemed reserved and quiet, and even a little boring. Then, after our first conversation, I thought that Luhan might be more interesting than I'd thought, and after seeing his scars, I realized that he was so much more than he appeared to be. Luhan was one of those special people that if anyone got to know him, they'd fall for him. 

I mean, he was exciting, smart, hard working and very funny, and he also had the kindest heart. But he was also extremely dense, confusing and sensitive, and sometimes his emotions took got the best of him. Even so, Luhan was very loyal, trusting and supportive, even though shy. And the one specifically special thing about him?

He could yell at me and put me in my place.

 

There was never anyone that I could think of that made me feel shameful for my actions, or feel embarrassed, simply because I didn't value their opinion enough. But Luhan would always be number one in my mind and life, although I knew he'd always feel guilty that I always put him first. There were things though that I couldn't tell him, things I didn't know how to say. I was afraid he may run away, that he'd see how my brain worked, and he'd see my twisted and admittedly slight sadistic emotions, and would leave me. Sure, it wasn't fair of me to underestimate Luhan, but he was too precious to me to take any risks.

 

"There."

"Is that everything?" 

I sighed and straightened out my back. 

"Yup, that's all his stuff!" 

"Great, thank you for lending a hand getting this stuff here."

"No problem!"

"Oh, damn. It's almost 7:30, I'd better leave." 

"Go, I'll finish putting his things together." Ravi smiled and waved me to leave. On different circumstances, I wouldn't leave a practical stranger with my things, but Ravi i felt Ravi was okay for once- and I was late.  

 

 

"Ah, Professor Oh, you're here! Great." 

"Yes, I'm sorry I was caught up in some business. I assure you I'm never late." 

"Oh that's quite alright, I trust your word." I smiled graciously even if I was just plastering it on. At least it made him at ease, that's why you put in certain faces right? To please the other person?

 

"Now, your room is down the hall and to the left, room 247." 

"Great, thank you. I'll be leaving now." I stood up and bowed, and then left, making my way to room 247. A late start wasn't the best first impression ever, but I knew that my students wouldn't think of me as a slacker after the first week of hell I'd be putting them through. When I walked through the door, I could hear everyone take a breath a hold it, all their faces looking surprised... Everyone but Luhan. 

 

Luhan had his head in his hands, and his legs were shaking out of control. Of course he was nervous, but I wondered why he seemed so rattled.

"Good evening. Welcome to your first day of literature." 

Luhan froze, and his whole body became tense hearing me speak. I was actually a little worried about his reaction, wondering if he was going to start crying and hug me in front of everyone, or get angry at me for doing this without his permission. To my surprise though, he remained in the same position, not looking up. I walked over and put my things on my new desk, assuming Luhan took the front row seat simply because he had to, probably because he was late. 

 

Luhan was now in front of me, so close to me by the time I walked in front of the class that I could reach out and touch him. Remembering my position though, I refrained. Naturally, the college had asked me why I put in a transfer so suddenly, and I explained the truth- most of it at least, and they accepted it saying that since we had already been dating after Luhan was no longer my student and he was old enough, there wasn't anything they could do to stop us except ask us to refrain from PDA during class. Naturally, I quickly agreed to their terms, although they'd accept me because of my resume and high education level even if I hadn't agreed. 

 

"I'm Professor Oh, and I am your new literature teacher." 

At that moment, Luhan whipped his head up and stared at me, wide eyed and mouth hanging open. Momentarily we locked eyes, but I couldn't quite read his expression. 

"The college suggested I get to know you all individually to help me better understand your writing and reading ability, and skill level, so I'm giving you two days to write a three page essay, single spaced, in size 12 point font of times new roman. I won't read it if it's not, and you all should be taking notes unless you can memorize the directions." 

I internally laughed at how stunned everyone looked as they frantically looked for their notebooks and pencils, some students dropping something on the ground because of their rush. Everyone except Luhan, as he continued to stare at me. 

"What's your name?" 

His eyes flickered to the door, then back to me before he answered, indicating he wanted to leave, 

"M-my name...?" 

"Yes. Your name."

I very well knew his name, and he knew that, but the other students didn't. 

"My name's Luhan." 

"Well, Luhan," 

giving him a smile, although not a happy one, I sent chills down the class' spines.

"I suggest you start writing this down unless you want to fail my class and have to retake it." 

My goal was to scare the out of them so if anyone even thought about starting a rumor, they'd just think of me and dismiss it. 

"R-retake it?!"

His face lit up with the expression of it's-the-first-day-and-you're-already-talking-about-retaking-literature, and I could tell he wanted to kill me. 

"Or I may have to find you a tutor." 

Luhan pursed his lips and quickly started to pull out his notebook at my bringing up of a tutor. Some kids in the back chuckled a little, causing Luhan to turn beat red. 

 

"Now, since I'll be learning a lot about you, I think it's only fair you learn a little about me." 

I smiled at the class, even though they all looked utterly surprised at my new teaching style. I'd spend a lot of time smiling even though the information coming out wasn't worth smiling about. Why? It creeped the students out and amused me, and like I said. 

I was a bit of a sadist.

 

"Now, I taught earth science, chemistry and physics in a high school near Gangnam, but I majored in literature during college. I spent a semester in England studying classical literature and a year in Japan studying Chinese and Japanese ancient literature." 

I felt a little bad because Luhan didn't even know some of those things, and I knew he'd feel bad about himself since I didn't tell him, but it was better he didn't know so that his reaction was well... Real. 

 

"Some more unrelated questions that I tend to get a lot, I do have blonde hair, no it's not natural. I'm 184 cm, and yes I am full Korean. I have no allergies to any foods, but I can't stand bitter or overly sweet things, I won't accept any late work unless you talk to me and give me a good explanation why it's late. And yes, I do have emotions and a life outside teaching." 

I sighed, 

"Well, I think I've answered every question you could possibly think of. So you're free to go and begin working on your essays." Pretty much everyone got up to leave in a rush, maybe to drop out of my class, or maybe to just leave the room, but the room was cleared out in less than a minute. Except for a few girls that stayed behind and were approaching me. Luhan remained seated, slowly putting away his things as to stall until everyone was gone.

"Excuse me, Professor Oh, I have a question."

"Your name?" 

"Choi Jihye."

Personal space, something she lacked in giving. 

"Your question?"

"Ah, um, are you married?" 

I scoffed just quietly enough so she wouldn't hear me. 

"Married? I'm a loyal man. If I was married, I'd have a ring on my finger. Please be more observant."

"Then, are you seeing someone?" 

Her eyes were hopeful but I could tell she was an easy girl, and that made her face that was plastered with overly expensive makeup unappealing.

 

Luhan POV:

I didn't know why, but I held my breath, waiting for Sehun's answer to Jihye's question. 

"Yes. I am seeing someone."

"Oh... Well she must be beautiful for someone like you to be with her." 

"How so?" 

"I mean, you're so accomplished and handsome, I'm sure you don't chose just anyone."

I snorted a little too loudly and got shot a death glare from Jihye and her friends. Internally, I rolled my eyes and continued to pretend to write things in my notebook.

"So, is she pretty? I'll leave you alone if you tell me." 

Manipulative es, they're just-

"Beautiful, actually." 

"Oh.. I see. Is that why you chose her?"

I stopped writing in my notebook and waited for an answer.

"No, actually. She chose me."

"Aww!" 

"That's adorable."

"No way... Are you telling me that she made you wait in line? I'd never make you do that."

Ew. Please.  

"If you truly love someone, you can wait forever." 

My chest started to get warm, and for some reason I started getting agitated.

"Aww, are you going to ask her to marry you?"

"Are you?!" 

"You totally should!" 

For some odd reason, I wasn't just agitated anymore, I was angry. All the girls fawning over Sehun already, and him playing along like that when I was right there. 

Did he really mean all those things when he couldn't even tell me he was teaching here, and then call me out on the first day? 

Damn him. 

 

"I want to ask her, but things are complicated. I'm not sure she'd say yes."

"Well she'd be stupid to not say yes." 

"Hey now, don't s-" 

And then I wasn't just angry, I was pissed off. 

"Ch. Girls are so rude and annoying." 

"Excuse me?" 

"No, excuse me. I'm interrupting your conversation."

Giving Jihye a y smile and Sehun an eye roll, I collected my things and swiftly left the room. Despite my feelings inside, I held my head high, not looking back for even a moment. 

 

"Ugh, Ravi. You will not believe what a horrible d- what the hell? Who are you?"

After barging into my dorm room, I found a cold looking guy sitting on a bed that wasn't mine, and wasn't Ravi's. It was his own. 

"Wait, what the -" 

I checked the number on my door, and surely enough, I was in the right room. 

"Who are you? Where are my things?!" 

I glared at Ravi who was just sitting there, watching me with an 'oh-' expression on his face.

"Ravi who is that?!" 

"Im going to step out of the room..." 

The fancy pants guy got up, but I put a hand up and stopped him, 

"Sit back down." 

I went over to Ravi, looming over him, maybe this was the first time he'd ever seen me so angry. 

"Ravi who is that?" 

"His name is Leo. He's the one I'm dating."

"And why is he- no wait, wait, first, where are my things?" 

"We moved them out..." 

"Lemme ask you something." 

I cleared my throat before lashing out on Ravi and his so called boyfriend, Leo. 

"Ahem. WHO THE  SAID YOU COULD TOUCH MY THINGS, LET ALONE MOVE THEM OUT OF THE DAMN DORM?!"

"Hey, we-"

"AND WHY DIDN'T YOU EVEN ASK ME? I'VE JUST HAD THE WORST DAY EVER AND NOW I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DORM ROOM." 

"Wait Luhan-"

"AND WHAT KIND OF A ING NAME IS LEO ANYWAYS?!"

"Luhan, I'm sorry. I should have told you but I didn't even know until today." 

"KNOW WHAT?! WHERE AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO SLEEP TONIGHT?" 

Maybe I seemed crazy, but I started laughing, well, with tears running down my cheeks at the same time. 

"I'm sorry I-"

"Forget it."

I made my way to the door, still furious inside, but more than anything, hurt. 

"If you wanted a new roommate, y-you could have at least consulted me."

My last word coming out as a whisper, I shook my head in disbelief and left. How could this be happening to me? I couldn't help but begin to sob in the hallway. 

What I wanted was Sehun, but I was angry with him so I couldn't call him. 

And Kris would be asleep. 

And Ravi- forget about him.

 

"Luhan! Hey!" 

Even after I exploded on Ravi, he chased after me. I wish he'd just go away so I wouldn't say things I didn't mean and hurt him. 

"Luhan, here." 

Ravi gave me a piece of paper with an address written on it, 

"What's this?" 

"Go here. I'm sure he'll put you up for the night. Call me later, okay?" 

With that, Ravi ran off and left me alone again. For some reason, I felt so guilty for being so rude to Ravi although it wasn't my fault. Still, I hadn't even given him a chance to explain and assumed he was the type of person to ditch someone, even though I knew he wasn't.

 

I looked at the address, 

"Must be one of his friends I met today." 

Ravi said he has a lot of friends that live in apartments, and that his boyfriend lived in one too, but I suppose they were very expensive and it was hard for Leo to keep up with rent. 

Maybe. 

I was just hoping that I wasn't totally intruding on someone because I didn't want to cause anyone trouble. Walking to the apartment though, I realized why a student would live here. It was so close to the university, there'd be no trouble commuting each day. 

 

"Room 457 huh..." 

I took the elevator up to the 5th floor, since the lobby apparently was level 0, not 1. Maybe I should call Sehun and make sure he knows where I am in case he comes to see me? 

No, Ravi would just tell him. 

Actually. What I should have been wondering about was where all my stuff went. But I was too exhausted to care. Nervously, I knocked on the door and waited for an answer, but when none came, I knocked again. 

"U-um. Hi, I'm Luhan. Ravi sent me here." 

I called out to the door, hoping whoever was inside would hear me. Slowly, the door opened. 

"You've got to be kidding me."