It wasn't that two weeks went by easily, but they did go by, and it wasn't that I was sad that Christmas was today... I was just feeling lonely. Sehun didn't call- not that he had to since we weren't even dating, and I didn't call either, so I shouldn't have even been upset. It was just that I thought maybe we could see each other on Christmas, our first Christmas- it would have been nice. 

 

"Hey, Luhan, are you coming?" Kyungsoo popped his head into my room- which had been a guest room that I now shared with Kris.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm coming." The apartment looked similar to Sehun's- well obviously, since it was in the same complex, but it didn't feel the same at all. 

"Just sit down when you come, we're just hanging out right now." I smiled at Kyungsoo, and even though I knew it was fake, and he knew it was fake, he smiled back anyways. 

It would have been nice... If Sehun was here. 

 

Sehun POV: 

Should I go? 

No, I should stay here. 

Jongin invited me over so I should go-

But Luhan didn't.

No, I want to see him. I wanted to see Luhan. 

Slowly, I knocked on Jongin's door after standing there for what seemed like an hour. When I heard the door handle start to click, I wanted to run back inside my home, because in all honesty I was afraid to see Luhan. It had only been two weeks, but it felt like years that I'd gone without seeing him. 

Would it be awkward? Of course it would be.

It was Luhan. 

"Sehun! Great, you came! Come in, you look cold." 

"Thanks." Thankfully, Jongin answered the door and not Luhan. After slipping my shoes off and hanging my coat up, I slowly walked inside and took a seat on a chair, across from a couch.

Did I want to go home? 

Yes. Very much so, but I had to see Luhan. At least this year, I could see him on Christmas. 

 

Luhan POV: 

"Luhan! Come on! We're all waiting for you!" Honestly, I wanted to go out for a walk and just be alone, but I knew that I should be interactive- because that's what everyone wanted. For me, it was bothersome when everyone was asking if I was okay, or just how I was, obviously I was depressed. But still, if I just put on a face and acted like I was happy, then they'd believe me. At least I didn't have to see S-

"Luhan... Hi." 

I LOOK LIKE !

"Um, excuse me for a second!" I quickly made my way back to my bedroom, totally embarrassed Sehun had seen me looking like a troll who'd just been hibernating for a century. It wasn't that I put off showering, but I wasn't wearing nice clothes, and I didn't even have any deodorant on! I dashed into my room and tore through my small, selected closet. 

"Hey Luhan, it's just Kris. I'm coming in." Kris opened the bedroom door and immediately began laughing. 

"Hahah... Wow, you really do love him, don't you? Your getting all dressed up~"

"Of course I'm dressing up, since it's a nice occasion and all." 

"Oh, cut the . It's not like he doesn't still love you, and it's not like you don't still love him. You guys broke up because you had to, not because you wanted to and I think you forget that sometimes." Kris was right. I often forgot that we still loved one another, feeling like I had to put my best on, even though he loved me in my worst and most ugly moments. Still, I wanted to be presentable. Walking out with Kris, I sat across from Sehun on the couch. Kyungsoo and Jongin sat to my right on the other end of the sofa while Kris say to my left, on another chair. 

Boy was it ever awkward. 

"So Luhan,"

"Huh?!" 

"Um..." Damn it, I freaked out when he started speaking to me! 

"Sorry, what? I was just thinking about something and I wasn't expecting you to say anything."

"Oh, well um, how are things?" 

"They're good. Yeah, just great. What about you? How is uh, work?" Sehun shook his head and sighed, looking up to me with a small frown. 

"We're sitting here, saying words, but not talking."  I was silent. How was I even supposed to respond to that? It confused me a little, but I understood. We were talking, but we didn't actually care about what we were saying. What we really wanted to say, we couldn't. 

So I sat there and said nothing like an idiot. 

 

It had been about a half hour since Sehun showed up, and it was still awkward as hell. Kyungsoo and Jongin were still being all lovey-dovey with one another, laughing and flirting, while Kris was still on my left, video chatting Tao, and they were smiling, too. 

It was so lonely. 

I knew that if Sehun and I spent Christmas as a couple, we'd never have the strength to part, but I wanted to- I so wanted to. 

"Um, I'm going to get some fresh air." I stood  up and grabbed my coat, slipping my arms into the silky sleeves. 

"I'll join you." Kris stood up, saying goodbye to Tao, and walked outside with me into the cold air. It felt nice to relieve my head from over thinking. 

"Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah, I just wasn't expecting him here."

"You really love him, huh?" I couldn't help but smile, scoffing just a little at the question because we both already knew the answer. 

"Of course." 

 

Sehun POV: 

I was a little worried about Luhan because he'd been looking uneasy the whole night, so I decided to go check on him. And maybe it wasn't the best idea, but after barely opening the door, I stood and listened to their conversation. 

"You really like that coat."

"Yeah, Sehun bought the coat for me, and it's really special to me."

"A coat? Why?"

"The only other coat I'd ever had was from my parents when I was just a little kid, but as I grew older, they became too expensive for me. Sehun bought me everything I needed, and provided everything I ever wanted." 

"Haha is that why you love him? You little gold digger." 

"No way!" I smiled, picturing Luhan getting all flustered and blushing. 

"Really! That's not why I love him!"

"Okay, okay." 

"I'd love him even if he was broke and homeless, just because he'd still be Sehun." My heart... 

Pretending to have just opened the door and not have heard their conversation, I cleared my throat to interrupt them. 

"Ahem, may I speak with Luhan?" When Luhan turned around, my heart beat faster. His pale skin and flushed cheeks made him look so beautiful. 

"Yeah of course, but geez you don't have to be in teacher mode." Kris smiled and patted my shoulder before walking inside, Luhan giving him the 'I'm going to kill you later' look. Once the door closed, I walked up to the balcony railing where Luhan was. 

"Hey." There were so many things I wanted to say, yet 'hey' was the only thing that I could manage to say. 

"Hi."

"It's nice out today, isn't it?" 

"Yeah...It's so quiet. Oh- look, it's snowing. Snow is so beautiful." I couldn't help but smile at Luhan while reaching into my pocket.

"I have something for you." 

"What?"

"Just close your eyes." Luhan closed his eyes without further questions. I gently walked around him, reaching my arms out and then pulling them back, fastening the cold metal clip, then letting it fall from my hand to rest on Luhan's neck. 

"You can open." 

 

Luhan POV:

It was a necklace. 

A beautiful necklace, just for me. 

"Sehun..." The thin, silver, chord-like chain was like ice on my neck. I kept on staring at the small silver heart, outlined with tiny sparkle-like jewels, attached to it, with the words, 'With Me' engraved on it. 

"With me?" Sehun slowly came to face me, and pulled out a necklace of his own that was already around his neck. His was almost like a dog tag, with the shape of a heart cut out of it- right where mine would fit in. 

Sehun bought us couple necklaces. 

"Mine says, 'I carry your heart'"

"What does it mean?" 

"I carry your heart with me. Even if we're not together right now, you'll always have my heart, you carry my heart with you." Sehun smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug, but only for a quick one. 

"I don't know why I hurt so much... I know we'll be together after I graduate, but yet I really hurt."  

"I thought about it a lot, and I wondered why we couldn't just stay together, and why you broke up with me... But I understand now, that you did it because you care about me. If we were together, I wouldn't be able to hold myself back if someone was teasing you... Even now it's hard." I watched Sehun sigh, and speak what was on his mind. Finally, he was letting me in, even if we weren't together. 

"Come on, let's go back inside." I didn't want to go back inside, I wanted to stay and talk to Sehun, whom I missed so much. My heart was racing, but at the same time, it was aching. I felt so happy that he gave me a necklace, a secret just between us- or so I thought. 

"AWWWW YOU GUYS!" Kris ran up and hugged us a split second after we walked through the door. 

"SEVEN MONTHS WILL GO BY SO FAST!" I smiled at Kris as he gently pushed me, teasing me in a friendly way. We sat back down and began talking again, and it went well. 

I think that after Sehun and I had a true conversation about our feelings, even if it was cut short, it really helped us to have the strength to be apart. 

 

Sehun POV: 

It was already New Years and I was of course invited back to Jongin's house. In all honestly, I did have fun at Christmas, so I went again. The necklace was still around my neck, and when I showed up and saw Luhan, it was still around his, too. Things between us were good, and it really seemed like I was a teen again. Although I'd never experience young love before Luhan, I assumed that what we had was similar. The whole night, Luhan and I would be with one another, like we were an item. It sounded silly because we were an item, just not officially. 

"Midnight in two minutes! Woo!" Everyone, except Luhan and I, was going insane. Whooping and laughing loudly, not that it bothered me, it actually made me happy. This was my first New Years with people I cared about, my first New Years that I was actually enjoying myself. 

"Ten! Nine!"

"Luhan, come here." Quickly, I pulled Luhan outside and let the door close. 

"Sehun-?" From inside, I could still hear everyone counting. 

"Five! Four! Three! Two! Happy New Year!" I crashed my lips against Luhan's, creating a fast warm sensation, then backing away. It was a fast kiss, but that was the point.

"Sorry, I refused to let another year go by where I didn't get to start it with you."

"Sehun..." Luhan's breath huffed out, his face being illuminated by the white moonlight and dim balcony light.

"Let's go." We both smiled, knowing we were only getting close to being together. 

 

Luhan POV: 

"Hey Luhan!" Jongin called to me from the kitchen, 

"What?"

"Want a drink?" A drink?

"What are you, stupid?! He's underage." Sehun answered before I even could, his arms crossed in his chair, sitting back.

"Stop going into teacher mode!" Kris begged from the kitchen while Sehun just rolled his eyes. Of course Sehun knew I wouldn't have taken the drink anyways, I didn't touch alcohol. 

"I'm not in teacher mode. I'm still his legal guardian so shut up and stop offering minors things they can't have. And you too! Kyungsoo put down that soju!" 

"Hey, Sehun... Since when did you become a naggy mother?" Everyone started laughing at Sehun, and I didn't blame them. I even cracked a smile. 

 

Sehun POV: 

Smiling with everyone, I realized I was wrong. 

I wasn't alone, not anymore. 

Luhan and I wouldn't date again until he graduated, but being able to say a goodbye, without actually having to say goodbye, I felt so much better. Of course I'd probably be cranky and depressed for the rest of the year, but as along as Luhan was waiting for me with his diploma in his hand, I could and would endure. 

 

Luhan POV: 

April. Spring time had come, which mean summer was also coming, and I was not prepared for the bugs, the heat, the sweat... But even worse- our class field trip.