2nd update this week! :D

CHAPTER twenty“future”

School is important.

That's a fact, even if you know most of the things the teacher were blubbering about and there is actually no need for you to get a job, when you are meant to leave earth in the first place.

I mean, Jaelin has enough money to live her life in wealth.

She had the chance to think and use the time where the teacher was talking about random equation to evaluate her choices and choose the right path.

Not even bothering to open any of her textbooks – not that she carried them with her in the first place, they were just too heavy – she took out her little notebook, where she had noted random facts about the boys before. She may not write a diary, but that didn't meant that she couldn't start or that she couldn't do an exception, just once.

And so, she started to write.

Dear Diary or whatever,

Let's just say life. Yeah, dear life,

Thank you for being complicated.

Jaelin chuckled silently to herself, not even noticing to have gained the attention from Chen and Luhan. Both were, just like the other boys, always in thoughts.

They were on edge. Her decision could be revealed any moment from now on and as much as they want to know it, desperately, they feared the answer as well. Constricting feelings everywhere.

'Dear me,' Jaelin started again, crossing the things she wrote before.

Life was not always really fair towards you. That's at least what you always felt, but is it the truth? 
The nature is a complicated thing, it wants always to be balanced out. 
Yin and Yang.
Good and bad.
Black and white.

But you don't agree, do you? For you there is no good and bad in it's entity. For you a person can't be strictly bad and not good either. If something like that happens, you would surely not dub him human or a living creature at all. There is both in everyone, always.

You know that the nature needs it balance and when your life seems to be in chaos and you feel like you are suffering, it will give you a spark of happiness or something to compensate for the bad.

You had no family, so it gave you your talents. Being good in school, athletic, able to draw well. But was that enough? Yeah, you were okay with it. It was lonely, but it was fair.

Yet, what about the boys? What was going on with them? If they were another thing that would make you suffer another thing that was bad, you are sure that you would receive your present some time later.

What if they are good?
Has life seen that you should receive a better present than being good in school? Or is fate and life playing with you? If yes that would mean that the punishment comes after. But to what price? 
Would we suffer more in the end than get happiness from the boys?
Are we willing to accept all twelve guys with the knowledge that we will get hurt in the future and could probably loose more than we are willing to give? 
As much as my head disagrees, I can't seem to persuade my heart.

Forgive me future Jaelin, if you will ever face horrible things because of my wrong decision. I am not really sure if I will go with my head or heart, but I do hope that I will decide wisely and I hope imploringly that fate and life will have mercy with me. I want to be happy and I wish for you to have reached that.

I don't know (much like other things) how long my journey will be to be there where you are, but I know one thing. I won't regret experiencing every type of foreign feelings, foreign places, foreign people. Growing up is a step everyone needs to take and I strongly believe that I won't regret being the person you are now either.

For us to reach the happiness and escape what people call darkness, loneliness.

Your past,

Jaelin.

"How cheesy," she whispered to herself, closing the notebook and putting it away, back into her bag. "I wonder if I will remember to read it after some years."

*

School helped enormously. Jaelin may not have paid attention to the lesson, but rather her book, but that didn't helped her relax any less. It was simply normality that she needed. Something ordinary, familiar. A daily routine that would make up for the supernatural things she thought were not really real.

She was really thankful towards Luhan and Chen for not talking and giving her space, yet never leaving her side. She could sink deeper into her thoughts again, without needing to watch the students to escape Sera, Noah and the most troublesome Lucas. She didn't had the nerves to talk to him or face him, not at all.

It was a good thing that the boys could always tell if one of the three was at home, so that they could all avoid them when they went out of their apartment. Why can't they just move away and make everyone's life easier. Now thinking about their abilities, Jaelin wondered about their thirst for blood. Luhan was the only one loosing control and actually biting her, but what about the rest? Are they drinking from random people? Are they drinking from animals? Or stealing blood bags from hospitals?

She really needed to ask them that, so taking out the notebook, she flipped to another site, writing down her questions she would ask them in the evening. She wanted to tell them all about her need of more time and get the answers of the last questions. If she decides to live with them in the vampire world, than she should as well know everything she needed, to understand how everything works. It was scary, a world full of a race that thirsts after blood, which leads to another questions. Could vampire drink the blood of other random vampire's?

Without loosing time, she immediately noted everything down and put the book away, fastening her steps the moment she noticed that Chen and Luhan seemed to be preoccupied by their emotions and their thoughts. Again. They were just out of it and she didn't blamed them, was it now her time to cheer them up?

Suddenly finding herself running, Jaelin got between both their bodies to pull their arms, hugging them to her body before forcing them both out of their dull stare.

"Come on guys, it's a nice day," she smiled and speeded up. "No more sad faces, please."

"You seem so happy, why is that?" Chen's head titled towards her, happy to see her like that. It was better seeing her cheerful than depressed over a decision that could change her whole life.

"Ugh, I wished I could read your mind right now," Luhan complained as Jaelin looked at him surprised. She didn't knew that he was suddenly not able to get into her