Word count: 6K :P

CHAPTER eighteen “tao”

I felt cold.

Probably not because of the temperature, but the ground I was sitting on. Or maybe not.

Maybe it was my heart that was cold, maybe it was my mind, my thoughts that were cold. Maybe it was my whole dark being.

And that was a moment of self contempt, a moment of questioning oneself. Was I good? Do I have good intentions? Is my nature good?

When you try to prove that thesis, which states: 'Yes you are indeed good.', you would look back into your past actions. Was I really good to others? Was the good things outweighing the bad things?

What about sins? Where they unforgiving? Were they making one undoubtedly bad?

It's scary to know what I was capable to do, what I think I thought of to do, what I already did. Not even being able to grasp everything I supposedly have done, I am sitting here. In my room, on the cold ground.

I believe I am no good person. I have sinned, in the most horrible way. Pretty ironic that something like this comes from a six years old child. Children, who are always counted as pure. Innocent and pure.

I was sadly far from it, I am a monster. What I have done is unforgiving. I would – I could never forgive myself.

The bloody scene of that woman lying infront of me wasn't leaving my mind any second. It was like a curse meant to tormenting and torture me. However, I have not deserved in any better, so who was I to complain?

I needed to pay, a punishment of some sorts.

Yet I could swear that I wasn't the person, who the enormous power emitted from and yet I couldn't. What a strange feeling. I was the person who did that, right? Of course I was, who else? I was the only one there. I was the only one, I was guilty.

*

"Boys stop. Okay, you don't need to." She grumbled. "Kai are you for real right now?"

The boy just shrugged and resumed to tug her in into the huge pile of pillows and blankets, while the rest looked down at her with concern. Asking her all questions about her well being.

"Your fever got slightly higher, you are still ill." Lay informed her. "And no, I can't heal viral infections. Besides that are you human and your body needs to produce the antigens, you'll always get ill from the same virus otherwise."

"Well, we could turn you whenever you want though." Luhan shrugged casually, jumping besides her on the bed. "Up for the offer?" He gave a toothy grin, with his vampire fangs. That earned him a hit from D.O and the boy tumbled down towards the ground with a satisfying thud and a following sound of pain. D.O loved that sound. Indeed.

"I just looked into the fridge." Suho entered her bedroom and sighed at Luhan to look at his ill mate. "I am taking some of the boys with me to go grocery shopping. Do you want something, Jaelin?"

Looking at him she though before bursting in a grin. "Chocolate!"

Laughing at her giddiness he nodded. "Anything else?"

"More sweets?" She asked and he nodded again.

"I will see what I can get you. Who is coming with me?"

Who would even want to leave her side to go with him? Of course, nobody.

"You all should know that you can't spend time with Jaelin today either way." Tao boasted. "It's my day with her."

"Can someone please explain me how I ended up to be the last one?" Kris spoke up, still annoyed by the fact. He actually asked the question since the last four days, not really expecting to be really the last one. He was just being dramatic, but karma was – as is generally known – a . Or just fair, who knows.

Not even going into what Kris said, Suho just shrugged and picked some of the guys out. Mainly the ones, who would instantly and intentionally interrupt Tao's day with her. Which means that he was taking Luhan, Baekhyun, Chen and Channel with him.

"Why did I expect to be chosen?" Chen shook his head in mock disappointment.

"You are one of the loudest." Jaelin pointed out, surprising everyone.

Smiling at her cheekily, he agreed naturally. It was his mate after all. She was right by all means.

"We are gone then." Suho waved and went out, followed by angry Luhan, a pouting Baekhyun and a shrugging Chanyeol. Chen swiftly ran to Jaelin's side and kissed her temple, exiting the room before any of his brothers could hurt him.

"It's silent." She closed her eyes in relieve. Her headache could actually go away now. What joy.

"We should leave then guys." Lay stood up from his place on the bed. "She should sleep a bit, it's still really early. You have enough time to be alone with her after that Tao."

"A long as she feels better." He smiled at her and winked. He was excited, but her health is first priority right now.

"Is your jaw hurting Jaelin?" D.O asked softly, sitting down on the place the healer occupied a moment before. Her often messaging of her cheeks didn't went unnoticed by him.

"It's not really hurting, there is just....pressure." She answered.

"That's probably coming from your headache. You have slightly pressure on your ears as well, right?" When she nodded, Lay just grimaced. He really wished he could heal her. It may be cute seeing her face all puffy while she was rubbing her eyes sleepy, but she was hurting and that lead in him hurting as well. Patting her hair solemnly, he went towards the door. "She really needs to sleep a bit, out everyone."

"Get better." D.O smiled at her. "I am going to make you something delicious, when the boys are back from grocery shopping.

"Sleep well." The rest followed.

And when the healer closed the door behind him, Jaelin eyes fell close as well, falling asleep in a matter of seconds.

*

"I think getting over the top has a new definition." Suho just commented, looking infront of him towards the three idiots – namely Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Chen – who were dumping everything they found interesting into the cart. Oh wait, into the three shopping carts. They only had one thing to say, 'Jaelin wanted something sweet.' And following that, they needed to give her that because exactly that was what was meant for them to do. Please their mate, please Jaelin.

Luhan never facepalmed as hard as he did at that moment.

"You think?" The said boy looked at him blankly. "They are out of control, literally. Make them stop."

Looking at the older one with a raised eyebrow he gestured towards his brothers with his arm. "Serve yourself then. I definitely wouldn't step between these idiots. " He chuckled and took his shopping cart towards another isle. Who even said that he would pay for the things Chanyeol and the rest wanted to have? Nobody, exactly.

Following the younger, but mature one, Luhan looked around to find some chocolates his ill mate wanted. Seeing her in that messy state was not really funny and as many jokes he made about it or with it was not a nice feeling to be helpless towards the situation. Quite frankly, he hated Lay for not being able to do anything about it. Just as much as he hated himself.

Choosing many different variation of the sweets Jaelin wanted, he showed them Suho. "Are these okay? What do you think?"

"We can always send Kai to come and buy the ones she wanted, so I think they are okay." He nodded approvingly, resuming in buying the needed vegetables for the soup D.O planned to cook.

They needed to take better care of Jaelin, Suho noted. They met her not long ago, while there was always at least one of the boys around her and what happened? They couldn't look after her probably and she got ill.

"Eh, Suho?" Luhan suddenly grimaced at the sight in front of him. "I think we should help them." He gestured towards the boys who were getting watched what looked like the manager. Not good at all.

"Let them." Suho shrugged. "We don't need the things they have in their carts and I really don't want to have anything to do with them at this point." He chuckled amused at the pale face of his younger brothers before pushing his shopping cart towards the cashier. "Besides that have I everything we need."

Smirking at Chanyeol's, Baekhyun's and Chen's misery, Luhan followed Suho. "Serves them right."

Leaving the three boys behind they went out after paying for the groceries to pack everything into the car.

"Who do you guys think you are to just dump everything into three shopping carts?" One of the employee's shouted enraged. "Do you think we are so dumb to think that you will buy all that?!"

"I think we screwed up?" Chen laughed nervously. Getting lectured by a human was humiliating. They felt awkward. "Wait, where is Suho?"

"I don't see Luhan as well." Chanyeol whispered back.

"Are you guys even listening?!" The employee boomed angrily.

Baekhyun frowned while shrinking back. "Let's just go." And with that they shrugged and turned around, exiting the supermarket with a still enraged employee and stupid looking humans around them.

"Come on guys, you did enough." Suho laughed at their faces. He was sitting in the car with Luhan, looking out of his open car window. " Let's go home."

*

Standing on the rooftop right infront of Jaelin's apartment complex they looked down into Jaelin's living room where the boys were seated.

"Shouldn't we take her now?"

"Something isn't right." He whispered frowning, ignoring the first question completely.

"Are you talking about the new presence?"

"I asked something! And what new presence? Where?"

"There is a new presence in the vampire world and it seems like it's getting stronger with each passing day. "

"I don't know what to do. I don't like how the things are going."Desperation and irritation were a bad combination.

"Let's wait then. We should watch a bit more, maybe things will change?"And having hope could end fatally. Even more if it's connected with wishes.

"What about the whole massacre?"

"The responsible one was already found and executed. Seems like the death of his mate was the reason."

"Ah, he went crazy didn't he? Thinking it was turned vampires, which lead him to kill a whole district."

"Sounds pathetic."

"You are just saying that because you haven't found your mate. Loosing one hurts at first. You would turn depressed and extremely sad, then into anger and hate. Countless are not even surviving the enormous feeling of sadness to even reach the anger part."

"If he finds his mate then the world must be ending." Another one laughed out loud. "Besides that is it totally rare when someone gets through both phases."

"Which world are you talking about in particularly though?"

"Ah just forget it."

*

"Wake up, Jaelin." Tao whispered. "I have something to eat for you."

Opening her eyes slightly, she moaned out of pain. Her headache seemed to have worsened, just like the pressure on her ears and jaw. She hated to be ill, it was awful. Helping her sit up, Tao made sure that she had it comfortable before setting the tray on her lap.

"How are you feeling?"

"How do I look like?" She looked at him blankly.

"I hope you don't want to hear from me that you look like ." He chuckled and she cracked a smile.

"I am okay, I can live." She reassured him gently, while taking a sip of the soup to fall into a trance.

"Jaelin? Hey, wait, Stop." Tao started to laugh. "The soup won't run away, you don't need to hurry."

"Tell Kyungsoo that the soup is awesome and I want more." She showed him her bowl.

"No. You need to eat your vegetables too." He ordered. "And you need to take your medicine."

Rolling her eyes annoyed she gave in and resumed eating, drinking some painkiller in the end. "But I want more soup for dinner." She grumbled and Tao just nodded.

"Do you want to sleep now?" He asked her. "I can leave if you want."

"No, I think I can't sleep any longer." She sighed. "It's so warm and then cold. I hate to be ill."

"Scoot over." Tao smiled.

"Why?" She looked up at him questioningly.

"I will show you my powers."

"That's sounds interesting." Her eyes started to sparkle and she sat up probably. "What are your powers?"

Getting into the duvet she sat besides her and pulled Jaelin towards his chest. "It's time. Time travel to be specific. But before you tell me to go into the future, there are some rules I need to follow."

"Which are?" She leaned her head onto his shoulder, getting awfully comfortable on his chest. She must give the guys some slack. They had some damn fine bodies and their scent was making her just fuzzy. It was nice hugging all of them, even if she had her favourites like Xiumin's tight but soft ones or Chanyeol bear hugs. Now thinking about it, she really loved Chanyeol's hugs. His frame was way bigger than her and whenever he hugged her, she could snuggle into him for warmth, while his arms engulfed her completely. She already dubbed him her teddy bear in her mind and nobody will ever know about this.

Are you sure?

And there goes the rest of courage she had to be able face Luhan with. It's creepy to know that that boy actually could get to know every single little bit of her secrets. Ones she really didn't want anyone to know, that would be to embarrassing.