to all, it is a long chapter and my mood is so bad because of this. this is the turning point of their love road and it's just too much for me to take. I know how that's fell whenever you try so hard to survive and to be happy again, something happen and destroy your hard work. anyway, enjoy and pls leave your comments ....anything...i will appreciated!  301115 Adelaide_M xoxo

HER POV                                                                                                                                               

I have no idea how to get in here, sitting next to the director and camera man who are shooting LOSER MV just now. It is now Young Bae's part, Seungri and Ji Yong is nowhere to be found, while Daesung and Seung Hyun are both sitting nearby to waiting their part. 

Unlike other MV of BIGBANG, this MV shows a darker side to the pain they endures. Young Bae's part in the MV begin with him in preparation for committing suicide. His scene starts at he walking on the roof tops with a nice and beautiful sky. His scenes show him writing the words 'Sin will find you' on a cross. It hurts my eyes so bad and my vision blured by the tears. He started to become negative, angry and depress in the MV and kill himself by jummping from the roof top. The verse starts off with: 

At some points I starts to look at the gound more than the sky

It's hard to even breathe

I reach out my hand but no one grabs it

I blame the blue sky

I sometimes want to put everything down

I wanna say goodbye

No matter how beautiful the MV might be, my thought and worries have taken full control of me. I cant help to fall into the conversation between Kent and I at the back alley.

- FLASH BACK -

"Why do you want to help me?" I cant stay clam and keep shaking all the time when Kent told me the whole thing. My body is cover with cold sweat and start feeling dizzy even I just imagine the consequence if the plan success.

"Becuase, I owe you once. I cant owe you twice." I can feel his sincerety. Everybody did wrong, but the most important thing is he choose to be good at last."Besides, I can tell how much you love him." 

"Thank you." I smile lightly, "what can we do now?"

"None of us can fight back. We have no chance to win even a little..."

"I know." I let out a sigh. Bernard is a very determined man, he can do anything  to get what he wants no matter what.

"...except one person..."Kent mutter and look at me.

"Who?"

"Yang Hyun Suk."

-- END OF FLASH BACK -- 

What if he found out the truth and what if the scandle and those pictures comes out, and YG terminated him? He works so hard for everything he got now, my sins will kill him ...my fault will kill him and drag all the boys down. I cant let that happen. I just can't!

'It's just acting, noona!' Daesung looked at me worried, when he saw me fall into silence and my eyes go all watery. 

 'I think I am too into the mood. The MV and the lyrics are just too much.' I look away and blink my eyes, wanna swallow back all my tears. 

I get up and take my bag, wanna get away to those people I care