the pain of rejection

If Only

 

 

 

I can't believe you are still thinking on that, ‘SeungHyun’ was lounging somewhere at the back of Seungri's mind, poking at him.

 

Dejectedly, Seungri realised ‘SeungHyun’ was right. The only person he could imagine pulling this off with was Chaerin and she was off limits.

 

But, it's just an act, Seungri told himself, kicking ‘SeungHyun’ hard before he could answer. Nothing needs to come out of this. It's not like it's going to be a date or something? Another kick, followed by a punch. I can stay objective, I won't make it a date. Just this thing to get that Jiyong off my back.

 

A short while later, Seungri found himself at the mall, window shopping for want of a better thing to do. His mind was still in a turmoil caused by indecision on how to handle the whole Jiyong situation. He decided after much pondering that he wouldn't do well with Chaerin pretending to be his girlfriend. As it was, he wanted most of the time to jump on her, and thinking about her as his girlfriend was not helping his control. No, Seungri decided, Chaerin and girlfriend were two words better not formed in one sentence.

 

He shook his head ruefully and headed for the wine section, hoping to find something that would suit Jiyong's rich taste. He didn't like wine all too much, Hell, he didn't like alcohol all that much either, but it was a perception that someone like him should be able to enjoy the bouts of over indulgence after a successful shoot. Seungri found hangover a pain and had perfected a ruse to appear that he seemed to be drinking himself into stupor.

 

"Seungri?" A shocked, but happy voice called out.

 

Seungri turned to search for the owner of the voice. "Chaerin?"

 

Damn, the fates were sure working overtime today. Chaerin was the last person he wanted to see today. He wasn't too strong in his resolve yet and ‘SeungHyun’ seemed to be on a hiatus since this morning. Who the Hell was going tell him he was screwing up his life by melting when Chaerin smiled at him? Where was a person's sub-conscious translated into a physical being by a severely twisted mind when you needed them? Off catching imaginary butterflies somewhere, apparently.

 

"Nice meeting you here," Chaerin announced, clearly delighted at this chance meeting. It had been a long time since they met. She could count all of those two days. Damned, if she was getting sentimental. 

 

"I was shopping for wine, but I have little or no experience in this," Seungri smiled ruefully. "It's a gift for a friend."

 

"I thought to call you," he muttered softly, turning his eyes on the bottle of wines with Chaerin helping him choose a decent bottle.

 

Chaerin felt a little trill. Seungri hadn't forgot her after all. They had been exchanging phone calls for a while now, but there had been some silence on Seungri's part for the last few days. "It's all right, we are all busy." she kept her tone light.

 

Seungri seemed to be pondering over something, an adorable frown creasing his brow as he concentrated. He took a deep breath and began. "I know we have been through a couple, okay, more than a couple of these weird outings that you refuse to call dates."

 

"What are you trying to say?" Chaerin asked, keeping her eyes on the row of the wines lined up straight. She felt Seungri's eyes on her.

 

"I want a second date."

 

She translated that as Seungri wanting to claim his goodnight kiss, and whatever else that might follow and nearly dropped the bottle she had picked. "What?" Shock pushed her voice was several octaves higher than normal. She never expected Seungri to just come out and say it like this.

 

Don't tempt me, Seungri, Chaerin thought in despair. Don't make me the guilty one this time.

 

Seungri smiled at the apparent speechlessness of the normally witty Chaerin. "Are you free for dinner tonight?," he said. Hell, if she say yes, he will fight whatever consequences with the angry dragon.

 

"I… can't," Chaerin blurted and was nearly bowled over by the hurt show in Seungri’s eyes. Trying to soften the blow, she continue, "I, sort of, have a dinner with my family tonight," she lie, watching as understanding slowly dawn in place of the pain of rejection.

 

"I see," Seungri said, quietly.

 

He try to act like it don’t hurt but he can’t fight the pain of the rejection. "I think I should go now." He picked up a random bottle of wine. "It was nice meeting you, Chaerin. Have a nice life." He turned and began walking towards the cashier.

 

You’re not going to see her again? This is goodbye? ‘SeungHyun’s back from his hiatus and was fully charged. Seungri really wished ‘he’ stayed with the damned butterflies.

 

It's for the best, Seungri thought, trying to get the fist around his heart to unclench. Hell, it couldn't be this hard. After all, he had only known her for a week. How much emotional investment could a person have after just hanging out for one week?

 

Apparently a lot, ‘SeungHyun’ told him, sadly. Just how much do you like her anyway?

 

That was a question Seungri wanted the answer to as well.

 

 

I don't know why this chapter dont show when I upload yesterday....hope u guys enjoy reading it...sorry for the trouble...

 

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sorry for keeping you guys waiting this long.....

Comments

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seoulsunshine
#1
Chapter 38: I remember i read this during college and i still read this. I still cry each chapter for the beautiful written story. Thank you so much <3
dysphority #2
Chapter 1: Wow. I really like the tone of your story. It makes me feel so relaxed. You deliver the succession of words so calmly that even if a certain scene has trepidation in it that I find myself fitting it into my imagination at ease. Am I weird or something? Lol. I get this laid back feel from how you describe things and it's my first time bumping into this kind of vibe in the story in my 4 years stay in AFF. It seems like you know Seungri pretty well that you could execute every word and action in harmony. I don't know. The rhythm of the first chapter and as I'm reading the second... It's really cool! This is my first Ririn story but wow, so far so good. Thank you for writing. You write so beautifully and it makes me at ease. It's like you're in your element when you wrote this first chapter. :D
happypartyfree #3
Chapter 38: Why.... This is so sad. They love each other but they'r just too idiot. And fate have its own way T^T
I hate angst, esp when my riri died. But thanks for the story :'''''
naru___
#4
Chapter 38: Speechless... never thought that this story will end up like this, but I still like it. Make another RiRin stories authornim :)
tami1712 #5
Chapter 38: Everyone is born dying :(
Beautiful but still sad
Thanks!
seoulsunshine
#6
Chapter 38: nice~~~
why evryone saying its from a movie?
what movie?
bella0203
#7
Chapter 38: damn


you are amazing author
*crying a river*
AkI-ra #8
Chapter 37: ayee authornim???where's the chapter??