"So, this is Dara unnie’s home?" Chaerin said as she looking at the cozy apartment.

"Hmm," Seungri just humming while his mind completely go to other planet. She was so happy today and Seungri just didn't have the heart to say anything to her. How do you tell someone your love that your life was falling apart? Then Dara noona call and had invited them for dinner.

If his friend what to establish their friendship with Chaerin, Seungri would do his best to encourage it. Especially now, for the months ahead. He didn't want to think about himself now. He would self destruct if he did. He had to be strong, at least for now.

Oh God, how the hell am I going to tell her? His mind scream.

"Seungri," Daesung open the door and walk back inside, leaving the door wide open.

Seungri just smile at this familiar greeting and the shocked look on Chaerin’s face. "Come, let's go in," he led her into the living room.

"Are you sure we’re invited?" Chaerin hesitate to come in.

"It's normal. It’s not his house anyway." Seungri shrugged. "Hey, I'm going to help Dara noona in the kitchen, okay?" he said, given Chaerin a peek kiss on her cheek and excuse himself.

"Daesung hyung," he call out. "Can you keep Chaerin occupied while I help Dara noona."

Daesung nod, "Make sure you don't kill us." He just smile but earning a murderous glare from Seungri.

Seungri turn and headed to the kitchen while smile sadly. Why did his stupid body have to fail? He could have died thousand times over of his younger life, but he didn’t … He didn't want to think about it anymore.

Seungri," Dara noona said, horrified. "Get out from my kitchen. I don't need help," she stressed.

Seungri grin wearily and slid into chair. "Ha ha, so funny I forgot to laugh," he said, sarcastically. He winced at the pain in his back and his hand went idly to his pocket, the small bottle of pills prescribed by the doctor.

"Seungri?" Dara ask, studying him carefully.

Damn, I got to be more careful; Seungri thought and force a smile. "Need me to taste something?" he offered.

Dara stare at him for a long moment before shaking her head and turning back to her cooking.

The photographer sat there in silence, pondering how to ask his question carefully. He should have brought it up to his doctor but he had been too shocked this morning. Besides, he just didn't feel comfortable speaking to the doctor anyway. He need to tell someone his close with and not a stranger.

"Noona," he started and waited until he had her full attention. "One of my models came to me today. Really pretty girl, very nice person."

Dara raise her eyebrow at Seungri and he blush. "Noona, stop looking at me like that. She just got diagnosed with bone cancer." The last part came out in a rush.

The doctor was immediately sympathetic. "That's really sad and it's a type of cancer that you really can't operate on. She's going to be in for a rough time. Chemotherapy takes a lot out of a person."

The blood drained from Seungri's face as his worry increased. "So there is little chance I… she will survive?" , a slip, but it didn't seem that Dara noona caught it.

Dara shrugged. "It depends on the person. The side effects are bad, but if she's young and healthy, I don't really see a problem."

Not a problem, if he was healthy. Can't operate. Chemotherapy. These words kept churning in his head. He could die, he may not survive chemo, he could… The nervousness assailing him the entire day finally made itself known in a violent and dramatic way. Seungri flew to the kitchen sink and heaved up all the contain in his stomach he had this entire day. When his stomach settled, he felt Dara noona gentle touch his back. He straightened painfully, unable to stop the low moan of pain issuing from his throat. He met Dara noona's worried eyes and tried to cover it with a smile.

"Don’t worry, just gastric juices keep kicking up," Seungri turn away from Dara penetrating look.

"You at lie, Lee Seunghyun." She lifted her hand and Seungri saw his medication in her hand. "I recognise this prescription, Seungri. When did you find out?"

Seungri was completely speechless. He didn't know what to say, or how to cover it up. Suddenly, he couldn't stop it, couldn't control his overwhelming emotions he had been holding all day. He threw himself into Dara noona's arms, crying. After a while, when he realised who exactly in the next room and got himself under control.

"Sorry," he muttered before lurching away to splash water over his face. He didn't want Chaerin to know just yet, he didn't know how to tell his girlfriend.

"Have you told anyone, Seungri?" Dara ask.

"My doctor knows," he smile playfully. However he didn't get the laugh he was aiming for.

Dara look at him irritably. "You know what I mean, Seungri. Chaerin? Daesung? Are you intending to tell them before chemo takes out all your hair?" Then her eyes widened. "You are going for treatment, aren't you?"

"I… don't know," Seungri answered hesitantly.

The doctor seemed tempting to smack him over the head. "What the hell do you mean 'I don't know'?  You know that you will die if you don't?"

"I'm not stupid, noona," Seungri said tiredly. He took the bottle from Dara and take out two pills. He smiled gratefully at the water that appeared in front of him and swallowed the pills. "Did I do something wrong? Why did this happen to me? Is it some form of payback for what I did when I was younger?" He asked Dara, his eyes full of pain and emotional distress.

Dara caught Seungri in a tight hug. "No, it is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. It just happens. It just happens."

"I won't go to heaven, noona; I did so many bad things. I'm going straight to hell. Straight to hell."

The amount of pain in Seungri’s voice really made Dara sad. She pull back to look at him, "Enough, Seungri. You will get better." She was about to say more when Chaerin and Daesung walk in.

"Noona, is dinner ready?" Daesung ask.

The mood was spoilt as Seungri quickly back away and smile at them. "Sorry, I kind of distract her a little," he apologised and made himself busy grabbing cutlery to set the table. He notice the glare Dara noona give him but quickly ignored it. Everyone was getting along just fine and he didn't want to mood to be spoilt by bad news. There was more than enough time later.

"You’re going to tell them later," Dara hissed while passing the plate to Seungri.

Seungri just nod his head.

"If you don't, then I will," she threatened.

Dara noona's cooking was delicious as usual but Seungri found he couldn't eat more than a few bites. He notice Chaerin's concern look at him and managed a smile.

"Noona still needs lessons," he joke, while Dara look at him angrily, though she help him cover it up this time.

The rest of the dinner was fine. When the plates were cleaned away, Dara gave him that look again. Seungri took a calming breath and just as he was about to say something, Chaerin cut him off.

"Uhm… Seungri, there is urgent matter at the office, can we go now?"

“Yeah, sure.” He stand up. "We have to leave now." He hurriedly go to the door and pass Chaerin her coat.

"Noona, thanks for dinner," Seungri said as he give her a peek kiss on her cheek. Dara caught his eye with an expression that clearly said 'I'm telling Daesung that his little brother is dying of cancer and if you don't like it, you can go through chemo, survive, then kill me for all its worth, but I'm freaking telling him so deal with it'. Seungri didn't know that Dara noona's expressions could be so clear and say so many things in a split second.

They were holding hand while walking to the car. Chaerin notice his boyfriend was seem so off all of a sudden. Normally he will relax and lose himself around Dara unnie and Daesung.

They stop in front of the car. "Chaerin…" Seungri startled, try finding the courage to tell her about his illness.

"Seungri…" Chaerin also began at the same time. They stop and smile at each other. "You first," he offered.

Chaerin shake her head. "You go first."

"Okay," Seungri bit his lip totally nervous.

"Chaerin… I… " Chaerin’s gaze shifted from Seungri to some point behind him. Shock and terror overtook her as she yelled,

"Seungri, look out!"