Sandara was staring at the glass window while her tears start to fall. When she asked Donghae to take away that pain, Donghae dragged her towards the coffee shop that his friend Siwon owned. She didn’t care at all even if they’re just there. Her heart is throbbing badly hard and she cannot even breathe properly.  With shaking lips and with blurry vision, she whispered something that surely Donghae heard.

“H-how did you know the-they’re cheating on me?” She looked down and cannot even drae to stare at Donghae. She’s afraid that he’ll saw how pained she was; she’s afraid Donghae will see how miserable she was and see his pity looks towards her.

“The day you told me that you’re his girlfriend, I already knew that he’s cheating on you Dara.” Donghae said, with a serious tone. He’s staring Sandara who’s staring on her knees. He can feel how she cried because her shoulders were shaking. “I-I’ve known them since high school Sandara. Jiyong… Jiyong was cheating on you since high school.”

“T-they… Kiko and Ji are cheating on me since high school?” Sandara asked. She looked up and she saw how Donghae stares at her. He’s not giving her pity looks, which is what she really expects, but she saw how sad his eyes were. Why Donghae? Why? Why are you not looking at me with pity?

Donghae silently nods and gets Daras’ hands. Seeing the girl he like, crying over his stupid and jerk best friend, is really painful. He gets her hands and gently squeezes them. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”

Sandara cried and put her hands on her face. She didn’t expect Jiyong would do this to her. She didn’t expect this to happen! Of all people, of all people, why did Jiyong cheated on her? And he even uses Kiko! So she was right when she first saw them, that Kiko is really a threat! She wanted to laugh at herself for being such a pathetic. Maybe Jiyong and Kiko are laughing at her back. They fooled her! They made her look so pathetic!

Donghae sighed and move towards her side. He pulls Dara closer to him and envelops her in his embrace. He badly wants to punch Jiyongs’ face and at the same time, he wanted to punch himself. Why did he let himself, his emotions, to rule over him? He shouldn’t say that! He knew that Dara will get hurt, she’ll get hurt! But if you wouldn’t tell her, she’ll eventually know! She’ll eventually know and get hurt! The tiny voice in his head said to himself.

“Shhh…” Donghae said, while rubbing Daras’ back. “I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…”

“Where did I go wrong? Donghae… why? Why did he do that to me?” Sandara said, while crying badly on his shoulder. She wanted to ask Jiyong, she badly want to ask Kiko why they did that to her but she cant! She cannot do that because she knew herself, she knew that if she’ll face them, she’ll end up crying in-front of them or worse, she’ll beg Kiko to leave Jiyong. She loves Jiyong that much. “Why did he cheat? Why? He should have told me before, that he’s not in-love with me anymore, so I can move-on! So it will be easy for both of us for them! Why did he cheat? Why?”

Donghae didn’t mutter a single word; he just let Sandara cried on his chest. He just rubs her arm and gently kisses her hair to comfort her. He cannot do anything. Heck, he can do something, for gods’ sake! He can tell her that Jiyong is badly in-love with her too but his subconscious mind says he shouldn’t tell that. Because deep down on his heart, he knew that if he’ll tell him that, she’ll open her arms and accept Jiyong again freely. And that will make him miserable and lonely. Donghae choose to be self-fish and jerk just to be with Sandara… the girl she falls in-love with. He kissed her hair and let her cry some more.

Donghae lifted her head and saw how puffy her eyes were, how swollen it was and how red her cheeks and nose were. Donghae kissed Daras’ forehead and wipe away her tears that is falling her cheeks freely. “The reason why I don’t do girlfriend is because if I’ll tell her my feelings towards her, if I tell her that I love her, I am giving her the license to hurt me. And I don’t like that Dara, I badly don’t want that kind of feeling.” Donghae traces her face using the back of his palm. I so love your beautiful face Dara… he thought. “If… If that person will hurt me, if the person I love will hurt me, it is more than equivalent to killing me. That’s the reason why I don’t do girlfriends Dara, I am afraid that someday, the person that I love is the same person who will kill me in the end…”

***

Donghae sighed and take his shirt off. He went to the shower and think. Even with his tired body, he still manages to think of Sandaras’ welfare. He badly wanted to protect her, heck he wanted that! But he knew in the process of protecting her and taking her pain away, it demands him to hurt her on the process.

“Oh, you’re here.” Suho said, while smirking. He’s not with his usual doing- reading books and studying. He was just facing the mirror and looking at his biceps. “Look, I’ve grown my biceps uh?”

Donghae lazily look at his room-mate and just shrugs. Suho is vain, that is given, but he’s not on the mood to listen to his vanity today. He went to his closet and chooses to wear sweat pants. After taking Dara to her dorm after an hour of crying, he left her their sleeping on her bed. He let her cry and probably because of stress and too much emotion, she slept on his arms. He didn’t immediately go home; he just stares at sleeping Sandara- with a puffy eyes and red nose.

“Problem again bro?” Suho said. He went to his closet and grabs a shirt. “You’ve been problematic lately eh?”

“The girl…”

“The girl you love? What is it?”

Donghae sighed and rested himself on their bean bag. “She already knew that her boyfriend is cheating on her.”

Suhos’ mouth left hanging but immediately chuckled. “Then, what’s the problem with that? Aren’t you happy because she’s already free? You’re supposed to grab the opportunity to make her yours Lee Donghae!”

Donghae smirked and throws the pillow ion Suhos’ face. “You’re not the nerdy boy Suho I’ve known.”

“I’m not nerdy boy Suho, you know that Donghae.” Suho said. He was known as a silent player- he loves to hook-up with girls in a silent way. He plays with them, bed some, and some got the opportunity to be his girlfriend.

“ you.” Donghae mumbled.

“I don’t you too! You’re not my style.” Suho said, making Donghae chuckled. He remembers his block-mate Kris because of that. Donghae rested his arms on his head and tried his best to think.

“I don’t know what to do…” he said because it’s true. He has no idea on how to manage the situation. He was in between the guy best-friend of Kwon Jiyong and the guy who loves Sandara.

“Did you know that human brain is awesome?” Suho said. He sat near his friend and looked at the ceiling. “It functions 24-hours a day from the day we were born.”

“Yeah, that’s why I am awesome.” Donghae said, while removing his arms on his head. He stares at the ceiling, just like Suho. “Human brain is really awesome.”

“And it only stops functioning in two ing situation. First, is when we take an exam.”

Donghae chuckled. “Damn, you’re right. My brain always malfunctions during exams. I almost got a perfects score, but I commit mistakes.”

“The second situation is when we fall in-love.” Suho said. He looked at his friend and smiled. “The brain malfunctions when we fall in-love Donghae; our rationale and locic were nowhere to be found in that state. Be the first one to do a record, use this.” Suho said, while pointing his head. “Use that because that’s the center of our body. Heart just pumps blood, it’s not the one who controls us.”

Donghae looked away and sighed. He stands-up and went to his bed to get his phone. He dialed Sandaras’ number but her answering machine got his message. He smiled upon hearing her voice.

~~Annyeong! This is Sandaras’ phone and I’m probably at the C.R. or sleeping. Please leave a message and be happy..~~

“H-hello? Dara, this is me, Donghae. I’m coming to your dorm and… well, yeah. I’m coming. Please, wake-up and we will talk. Bye.”

Donghae put his phone down and saw Suhos’ smile. “Do what is the right thing to do Donghae.”

Donghae looked away. He’s not even sure if this is the best thing.

***

“Whoa, easy on the scotch, Sandara. You really want to get drunk, uh?” Donghae said as he saw how Sandara drinks the scotch, straight, without even blinking. He wanted to stop her but he knew she badly needs to let the pain go.

Sandara just stares at Donghae and then grab the next glass and drink it. After realizing how horrible her situation was, she wanted to cry and get wasted. The flashing image of Jiyong and Kiko kissing earlier made her feel more stupid. She wanted to cry, she wanted to get drunk, and she wanted herself to explode. For the years, she believes that Jiyong is a very good man, that he’s loyal to her. All her trust, her love, her soul, all of them, she gave it to Jiyong without inhibitions and doubts. But what did she have in the end? Betrayal?

The picture of them, kissing and laughing at her because they we’re doing something behind her back, is killing her. Maybe they’re laughing at her. Talking s behind her. Both of them were happy with each other while she’s stupidly in-love to a very undeserving guy. She wanted to get drunk for being such a fool. This is ing … she thought. I am a ing .

“I’m very very veeeery stupid, right, Donghae?” Sandara whispered to the empty glass of her scoth. She doesn’t want to cry, she doesn’t want Donghae saw how miserable and stupid she was. But her eyes were uncontrollable and her tears were falling freely, like a fountain of water. She’s never a cry baby and she doesn’t like to cry over petty things. She keeps on saying to herself that she shouldn’t cry but she just can’t. “Aaah, he didn’t cheat on me right? It was just a dream! Jiyong was at Jeju for the convention! Yes, yes! He was there.” She said trying to console her heart. But Dara knew better. She was sure it was Jiyong… she was very sure.

Donghae sighed and set his back on the couch were he’s sitting with Dara. “I don’t want to say this but yeah, he was cheating on you Sandara.”

Sandara wanted to slap herself. Donghae was right! Jiyong is cheating… Jiyong was cheating on me, in front of me, and yet she chooses to close her eyes. She has instincts, damn, she was sensing that something is wrong in their set-up. Jiyong was never like that. He always put her first, of all things. But she chooses it. Why? Why did she let Jiyong cheat on her? Because you love him… badly, deeply. That tiny voice in his mind said. She chuckled.

“This is not right! It doesn’t mean that because I love him so much, he’ll get all the guts in the world to cheat on me!” Sandara mumbled. She took the glass and when she realize that her glass was empty, she grab Donghaes’ glass and drink it. “I’m so stupid! I’m so stupid Donghae, right?”

Donghae just stares at her and grab the glass on Sandaras’ hands. He tried his best to let Dara stand-up so he can bring her to her dorm. “Come on Dara, you’re drunk.”

But Dara just smiled at him and put her arms on his neck. “Come on, let’s dance.  I don’t want to cry! I don’t want to cry over some jerk!”

Donghae doesn’t like the idea of her dancing. Sandara is wearing a tiny dress and he really looks lovely. Even with her tiny body, she really flaunts with that dress. He wanted to punch himself for taking her here, to Kwon Jiyongs’ world. The loud music is really hell and even if he’s used to the sound of the club were teen-agers make-out on the corner and smoke, he still doesn’t want Dara to be here. She doesn’t belong here.

Sandara was laughing her heart out and tried to dance. The space is limited and that makes her and Donghae so close, so close that she can feel his breath on her neck. With her state of mind, she just wants to escape from the pain. She doesn’t want to see Jiyong nor Kiko, even their shadow, because she knew that if she’ll see them, she’ll end hurting them.

Donghae wraps his arms on Daras’ waist and pull her closer to him. He’s not drunk, definitely not, but he’s acting like one. Just like her, he wanted to forget everything. He wanted to forget that Jiyong is his bestfriend; he wanted to forget that this is Jiyongs’ property- that this is Jiyongs’ girlfriend. He went closer to her and smirked. “The best way to avenge yourself is to give him a dose of his own medicine Dara.”

Donghae slowly lifted his chin and kiss the corner of her lips. He’s not touching her lips yet but it gave her an electrifying feeling. He slowly traces his hands on Daras’ bare shoulder while giving her tiny kisses on her nose and on her cheeks.

Donghae drag Dara away, away to Jiyongs’ world. They’re now at the parking lot where his car was parked. He was holding her closer to him. She cannot even walk properly and he’s afraid that she’ll fall so he holds her closer. He wanted to punch himself because he’s acting like a jerk.

“Who are you? You look like a fish!” Sandara said, while laughing. She stopped and even cupped his face and smiled at him. “Are you nemo? Hello, I am Dory!”

“Sandara…”

Sandara just laughed and wars her arms on Donghaes’ neck. She tip-toed and kissed his lips. It was just a peck yet it gave a somersault feeling to Donghae. Sandara smirked and didn’t even let her lips away from Donghaes’ lips. It’s just touching. “You’re lips were wet, Nemo.”

“I know I look like a fish but I am not Nemo.” He said, with bit frustrations. “And I don’t want to kiss you right here and now. You’re drunk and I want to give you a kiss when you’re sober.”

“Come on! It’s just a kiss Nemo!”

“Aiish!” He said, with full of frustrations.

Dara can’t help it but laugh. He touch Donghaes’ cheeks and she can’t help it but cry. “It’s a good thing that I still have you Donghae. Don’t leave me, and don’t hurt me.” Sandara stares at Donghae with her teary eyes. “I’ve got nothing and I… I only have you now. You’re the only person whom I can trust and whom I know who’ll not hurt me. Please… don’t hurt me.”

Donghae nods and pull Dara closer to her. And look how fate played on them, they saw Jiyong walking towards the club but he’s not with Kiko. He’s with another woman! Dara can’t help it but cry. So, Jiyong is a total playboy! She’s not familiar to her but Donghae knew that she’s from other school.

“Call him.” Donghae motioned her to do that. “Call him and ask him if he’s cheating on you.”

With shaking hands, Dara dialed his number. They saw that Jiyong raised his eyebrows. Dara wanted to see his eyes, She want to see his eyes, if it softens, if it turn to a shade of guilty. She wanted to see them because Jiyongs’ eye doesn’t lie.

“Ji-Jiyong?” From their direction, they saw Jiyong was a bit shocked. Please don’t lie to me Jiyong. Please, don’t lie… she silently prayed. “W-where are you?”

Jiyong slowly answered after giving a sigh. “I’m still here at Jeju, baby. See you really soon. I miss you. I love you, okay?”

She didn’t answer him back. She’s staring at him, trying to control her emotions. “Are you… are you cheating on me?” Dara asked, merely a whispered.

They saw how Jiyongs’ eyes widened. Jiyong cannot say it to her via phone call. Sandara doesn’t deserve it. He loves her, damn, he really loves her. And he will do everything just to protect her. But loving her is equivalent to giving her so much pain. “I-I’m not.” He whispered. “Why did you call? And why are you saying that? It’s getting late Dara, please, sleep now.”

Sandara smiled bitterly. Her tears started to fall from her eyes, down to her cheeks. “N-nothing really. I… I just got a bad dream.”

Jiyong push the girl away from him and went to the car near them. “Why baby? What is you dream?”

Sandara sob and didn’t even bother to pretend she didn’t cry. “I-I dreamed that you’re cheating on me. That you’re here now but you’re with someone else. Tell me Ji… that’s just a bad dream right? It’s not real, right?”

Jiyongs’ heart crumpled and his grip on his own hands tightened. He took a deep breath and tries his best not to cry. He misses Dara, he loves her, yet he cannot be as loyal as she wanted him to be. He’s a jerk, he’s an . “I-I… I’m not cheating. It’s… it’s just a bad dream Dara. Always remember, Dara and Jiyong forever okay?” Jiyong sighed as he hears her uncontrollable sobs. “Shhh now babe. I-I’ll come back tomorrow to check on you. Just lease, stop crying. Just hug a pillow and imagine that it’s me you are hugging, okay?”

Sandara stop crying in an instant and smiled bitterly. “Just enjoy your stay there Jiyong. Just… just don’t mind me, okay? Goodnight.”

Jiyong sighed as he heard the end-call tone. The girl whom he wanted to spend the night with come closer to him and started kissing his neck.

“Come on Ji, I want you… Make me happy please.” Jiyong suddenly forgot about Dara and smirked.

Sandara just turned off her phone and looked at Donghae. Donghae was looking at her, directly to her eyes, as if staring to her soul, while surrounded by the cars parked. Donghae sighed and shifted Daras’ body towards Jiyongs’ direction that’s now making-out with that girl at the parking lot.

“Ji-jiyong…” Sandara mumbled. She can’t believe that she love this man! “Jiyong…”

“I’ve done my part Sandara.” Donghae said, while embracing Sandara from her back. He pulls her closer to himself and burry his head on her neck. He nuzzles his head and inhales her scent and smirked. Everyone is fair in love and in war, right? Donghae thought.

“Jiyong doesn’t deserve your love Dara. And I am giving you a choice- use me and let’s cheat with him or you’ll be forever stupid in front of him and Kiko…”

Sandara was silently crying, still watching two individual making out in the car park. She closes her eyes and tries her best not to remember that scene. It hurts her, badly hurt her. She shifted her body and she’s now facing Donghae. “If Jiyong can cheat, you can cheat too Dara.” Donghae said.

With her crying eyes and broken heart, she tip-toed, crossing the boundary between her and Donghae and kissed Donghaes’ lips. She was crying while doing it. She wanted to avenge her wounded heart. Thanks to the alcohol, it gave her the guts to do that. Donghae smirked and now gently kiss her back.

He pulls away but their eyes were still closed, their lips were just centimeters away and if someone speaks, their lips will touch again and end up kissing again. “You kissed me Dara, there’s no turning back…” I’ll fight for you…. He thought while kissing her again.

Dara nods and kissed Donghae back. Take this pain away Donghae… take this…