Jiyong woke up with a throbbing pain on his head. He looked on his side table, specifically at the clock on it. He closes his eyes as the pain suddenly subsided. Damn hang-over! It’s already 6PM and his stomach crumbled as a sign that he’s hungry. Him, Jiyong and Suho slept at the living room after drinking since morning.

Jiyong slowly pulls himself to stands-up and holds his head. ! He cursed. This is the saddest part of drinking alcohol: at first you’re happy that you drink like you’re drowning but the after effect . Hang-over . He roams around his stare and saw that Donghae is sleeping on the edge. He almost laugh upon seeing how drunk- he and Suho was- hugging each other like s.

“Damn these idiots.” He mumbled.

He stands-up and walks slowly towards the kitchen and look for a glass of water. Coffee doesn’t relieve his hang-over ever since he started drinking- water does. After drinking a glass full of water, Jiyong decided to grab some food outside. But before leaving, he went back to their room and grabs some clean blanket to cover the idiots.

As he walk outside the dorm and went to the nearest store where he can buy instant food. Upon waiting for his turn, he immediately realized that giving up on Dara is the best thing he can do. Suho is right all along. He must give up because what he shared with Dara before is already through. Their time is already over.

He’s a jerk for taking Dara for granted- for cheating and telling lies. Dara is like a gem to be treasure and he’s the best for not taking care of her worth. And now he’s regretting it, even if he’s trying his best not to sound and look bitter. He’s regretting it because seeing her being taken care by someone else hurts him and made him realize all his wrong doings. And he cannot blame anyone. He can’t blame Dara for cheating and he cannot blame Donghae for falling for her. It’s his entire damn fault.

He’s about to go back to their dorm when he realized that he’s heading towards the dorm of Kiko- the girl he hurt too. He’s now standing in-front of her dorm and was about to knock when he saw that door suddenly opens. There, standing in-front of him is the girl who loves him dearly.

Kiko, on the other hand, was shocked upon seeing Jiyong. She’s not sure why he’s here but she’s happy knowing that he came.

“Ji…”

Jiyong gave Kiko a short smile. “Can I come in?”

Kiko looked confused but allowed Jiyong to come inside. She’s not sure if being with him this close is healthy for her. But she must be strong- strong enough not to break-down in-front of him. She’s been thinking about him and her situation. Being with Jiyong is really toxic. Both of them aren’t healthy with each other. She loves him… but does he really love her?

Jiyong sighed. He sat on the couch where he and Kiko used to play with. He looked around and realizes that all his college life, he’s been living in this dorm. He’s been with Kiko since… he doesn’t know. It’s like Kiko is already part of him system. Like she’s part of him. Part of Kwon Jiyong.

“Ahm, how are you?” Jiyong asked. He wants to sound like a normal guy who talks to his girlfriend. “It’s been a long time.”

Kiko smiled a little. “Yeah.”

Jiyong sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Kiko smiled bitterly. She knew that he’ll start the real conversation with a sorry. She already saw this coming but hearing it from him is like a suicide. Like a victim being sentenced to life imprisonment.  She already programmed herself that she’ll be strong when this time comes. But… what the!! “For what, Ji? For taking me for granted? For using me? Or for not loving me?”

Jiyong looked down as a sign of embarrassment. “Kiko…” he said, even sounds pleading. “Look, I-I know I’ve been a jerk for—“

“Yes, you are, Jiyong. One of a heck cheater, and jerk.” Kiko said, while plastering a smile. She wanted to punch Jiyong but she just can’t. She knew better. If she wants to hurt Jiyong, she’ll hurt him without any physical contact.  “I’ve been a stupid in your story, Ji. Everybody hates me. Everybody judged me without knowing the real reason why I choose to be this stupid for loving you.  I’ve been so desperate to have you for my own; so desperate that I cannot see myself anymore, my self worth. I forgot to love myself for loving you, Ji.”

“I’m sorry.” Jiyong said. He looked up and saw the smile on Kikos’ face. But that smile didn’t reach to her eyes. Her eyes are cold and distant- not the same eye he used to see. The eyes who used to smile a lot. And he find it weird. “I’m really sorry.”

“But even if I’d become the villain of your story, I’d still be glad to be a villain.” Kiko said. Her eyes were a bit watery since her emotions are already building up. I must be strong. I am tough. I won’t cry and let him see I am crying. “I am happy that I made Dara realize that you’re not really worth having for, Ji.  That even if some people judged me and call me names, the pain they’ve caused will come back to you in the end.”

“Kiko…”

“You know what? I am happy. Very happy. On the process, I realized that you’re one of a heck jerk. An . You didn’t just cheat on Dara, Ji; you also hurt me on the process. The pain you’ve caused to her will be tripled as it comes back to you. Karma. Naah, why did I realize those stuffs lately, huh?”

“Hurt me Kiko. Come on, I know you are mad. Please, slap me or punch me.”

Kiko smiled. “Why would I? Did you know that the best way to hurt someone is to show to them that you’re not hurting? That you don’t care anymore?”

“I’m sorry—“

“I want to ask one thng Ji. Please, answer it honestly.” Kiko said while looking straight to Jiyongs’ eyes. “D-Did you ever love me?”

Jiyong was remaining silent for quite long. He wants to tell her that he really does. That he loves her, but the words he wanted to say didn’t come out.

Kiko smiled. “Now I know that you just used me.” She bit her lower lip and focused. She’ll not cry. Not in-front of Jiyong. “Well, I gave you my consent, anyway? My bad, I fall for a guy who wouldn’t even see my worth.”

Kiko stands-up and smiled at Jiyong. He heaves out a heavy sigh as he stares at the face of the guy she loves. “I want to forget everything Ji. I want to move-on with your shadow. And the first step is to let you go.”

“Kiko…”

“I don’t want to be stupid anymore. Goodbye, Kwon Jiyong.”

***

Donghae woke up and saw Suho drinking coffee. His head is aching but it’s bearable. He stands-up and sat beside him. Smelling the aroma of the coffee is making his headache gone.

“Where is Ji?” he asked.

Suho just shrug. “I don’t know. I just woke up.” Suho sips the cup of coffee he made. “Naah, my nose still hurts.”

Donghae started drinking the cup of coffee Suho made for him. “Tss. You’re like a girl. Stop ranting.”

Suho just rolled his eyes at Donghae. “Whatever. At least I have a girlfriend.” Donghae stopped for awhile and smiled bitterly. Suho, on the other hand, felt guilty for touching a very sensitive topic. “I-I didn’t mean to---“

“Naah, we both know that Dara is still not my girl.” Donghae said.

“H-how’s he?”

“Probably sleeping peacefully? I don’t know.” Donghae answered honestly. “I-I left her.”

“What do you mean by ‘left her’, Donghae?” Suho said. “Oh, don’t tell me---“

“She’s leaving again.” Donghae said while smiling sadly. “She’ll go back to the Philippines and… well, she’ll live there for good.”

Suho sighed and taps Donghaes’ shoulder. “Trust me bro, everything’s going to be alright.”

“I-I don’t know. She’s really sure about everything, Suho. She’s sure about letting me go…” Donghae said. “It’s like she’s really ready of letting me go in an instant.”

“Did you hear her explanation? Her reasons?”

Donghae smirked. “No matter what I do, her decision is already final. She’ll let me go. That’s it.”

“Bro…”

“Why do people give up so easily? It’s like one minute they’re there for you and we’re abut to fall in love with each other and the next minute they’re forever gone from life- from your life.”  Donghae asked.

“I don’t know Donghae…”

“Damn. Where are your ‘Yeah, I am right’ advices Suho? I need one.”

“Naah, they got flushed on the toilet awhile ago.”