Love is a war Dara and I’m willing to be your soldier…

Dara closes her eyes and then sigh. She cannot process what Donghae just told her. Her heart is beating like crazy and she’s afraid of it. No… this is not true. “W-what do you think you’re saying D-donghae? A-are you drunk?”

Donghae, from the other line, just smiled. He’s not drunk, totally not drunk at all. “I am your soldier.”

“W-whare are you?” Dara asked, while getting up. She’s tired and she must wake-up early tomorrow but upon hearing Donghaes’ words, her senses were awakened. “Are you drinking or what?” From the other line, she can still hear the loud music and she knew he’s in a bar. “Donghae?!”

Donghae left out a soft chuckle. He wanted to cry with too much happiness. “Y-You’re caring for me…”

“Of course I am! I am your friend…”

“You are my girlfriend.” Donghae said, almost a whisper. “You are my secret girlfriend, not just a simple girlfriend.”

Dara stiffened. She can’t help it but she found herself guilty. She used Donghae for her to get even with Jiyong; she used Donghae to avenge her wounded heart. She’s not a good friend because she’s using him. She felt like she’s one of those ungrateful es in the world by using Donghae. Donghae is such a sweet guy and he deserve to be treated well.

Now that Donghae needs her, she must be there. She only had Donghae, everyone might left her but not him. “Where are you?”

“I’m at Club Zeus.” Donghae said while grinning. He drank the last shot he’s holding and throws the glass. “You-you’re coming for me?”

“Wait for me.”

“What the heck, Kwon Jiyong!” Kiko ranted while carrying him towards the exit door. He’s really drunk; she has no idea why he’s drunk. She watched his friends who’s now drinking like there’s no tomorrow. She even saw his roommate Suho who’s now dancing Gangnam Style in-front of his high school batch mates.

Jiyong tries his best to open his eyes and smiled upon seeing Dara. “Ahh, my very beautiful girlfriend is here.” Jiyong said while cupping Kikos’ face.

“My goodness! You’ve been drinking like stupid Jiyong!”

“Everyone, meet my girlfriend, Sandara Park.” Jiyong said while smiling and looking at his friends.

Siwon just laughed at Jiyong. “She’s Kiko Ji, and go home, you’re drunk.”

“ you!” Jiyong said, while raising his middle finger in the air.

Kiko shook her head and place Jiyongs’ weight on her body. “I don’t know why am I even doing this to you.” She murmured upon heading towards the exit door.

Jiyong stopped walking and looked at Dara. He even cupped her face and gently kisses her lips. “Because you love me.”

Kiko sighed and put Jiyong on the floor before hailing for a cab. “. Of course, you know why am I here because you know that I love you.”

While hailing for a cab, she saw that Donghae was in-front of her and was talking to Dara. What the hell is she doing here? Kiko thought. She’s still wearing her pajamas and loose shirt. She saw how worried she was upon approaching the drunken Donghae. Maybe Donghae called her… she thought. When she saw a taxi, she immediately called it and put Jiyong in there.

Dara and the drunken Donghae went to the near 24-hours convenience store. Dara was shooking her head upon realizing that she’s still wearing her PJs and her pink feathered slippers. Why am I even here? She thought.

She left Donghae outside sitting on the chairs provided by the convenience store. She went inside and bought two cups of coffee and a bottle of water. She stares at Donghae who’s now laughing alone outside and it made her realize that she’s here because she wants to be with Donghae and she cares for him.

She went out on the convenience store and sat beside him. She handed the cup of coffee to him. “I want to talk to you when you’re sober.”

Donghae chuckled. “Love is a war Dara and I’m willing to be your soldier…”

Then, her heart beats fast again and that’s making her nervous. She doesn’t like that feeling- the fast beating of her heart. She bit her lower lip. This is not true… definitely not true. “Donghae…” Dara said, trying to hide her nervousness.

“You’re still wearing your PJs’ huh?” Donghae said while drinking his coffee.

“I came here immediately.” Dara explained while hiding her embarrassment.

“How would you know if you’re in-love?” Donghae all of a sudden asked. Dara didn’t answer because she has no basis to it. She loves Jiyong but she doesn’t know why she loves him. She just woke up one day that she sees Jiyong as a very special guy- not anymore a childhood friend, not just an ordinary classmate. “They say that when a person asks how it feels, it means that that person is indeed in-love.”

“So… you are in-love?” Dara asked. She doesn’t know why but she’s afraid of his answer. Afraid of knowing he’s in-love? That eventually, if he’ll fall in-love to someone else, he will leave her?

Donghae smiled but shook his head. He silently drinks the coffee Dara gave to him. Even if it was just a simple gesture, and just a friendly gesture, he still find it special and sweet. No one dared to take care of him because he’s now living alone.

“My parents were in America since I was in fifth grade.” Donghae started. “I live in Korea alone: my parents just send me filthy money, send me to prestigious school since then up to now, allow me to have car, a condo unit. I live a perfect life and yet, I feel empty. They sent me gifts during special occacions- birthdays, Christmas, new years, graduations- and yet, I still feel that I am an empty jar.”

Donghae faked a smile then drank the coffee. He felt Daras’ soft, warm hands on his hand and felt her squeeze them. “Donghae…”

“And as usual, I became a rebel. When I was in high school, I usually skip classes, go to clubs and got drunk. Bed some girls and become a playboy. I-I thought life is just like that, that life is so cruel to me.” Donghae said. His heart is throbbing and he felt like he wanted to cry his heart out. “Then you came Daea, you came just in time Dara and I’m thanking you for coming in my life just in time. You… you make me feel special even if I am not.”

“I am here for you Donghae… always.”

“And now I’m ed-up for messing up with you and Jiyong….”

“Shhh.”

“I-I was envious because even if Jiyong is an , he still have you. What about me? What do I have?”

“You have me Donghae.” Dara said while cupping Donghaes’ face. She wanted to erase the pain in Donghaes’ eyes; she wanted to see the smile on his face, on his eyes again.

Donghae smirked. “I am just a third-wheel Dara.” He said, in a low tone. “I only have you if Jiyong is back to his normal jerk-side.”

Dara looked away. It’s as if Donghae is pointing out that she is using him, which is true anyway. I’m sorry… she thought. “Come, let’s go back to your dorm.”

Donghae stands-up because the truth is, he’s not really drunk at all. He gave Dara a genuine smile that reached to his eyes. “Love is a war Dara and I’m willing to be your soldier…Always remember, I am your soldier.”

“Donghae…”

“Come, it’s getting late. You still have 8Am class tomorrow.” He said while holding her hands firmly. I’ll be your soldier and I’ll fight for you no matter what…

***

Dara was at their classroom waiting for their professor. She came early to school because after Donghae walked her to her dorm, she can’t find her sleepy thoughts again. She was busy visiting her facebook account when her Filipina friend gave her a sweet message.

Apple: Hello Daroong! How are you? How’s South Korea? I miiiiiss you sooooooo much! Can you give me some handsome Korean-oppars? To be my boyfriend? hihihi

Sandara can’t help it but smile. She already misses her crazy friend Apple. She was her high school classmate and she’s really funny.

Sandara: I’m okay Apple and I miss you too! South Korea is still South Korea, it will never become North Korea. Geez, grow-up, will you? Korean guys here are cute, not handsome.

She left out a chuckle. She’s imagining how she head-bangs while typing a reply. She’s really fond of Korean boys and maybe that’s the reason why they became friends. When they came to the Philippines, she’s the only one- at least on her first week in their school- who talked to her and befriends with her.

Apple: I hetchu! Ayoow, how are you and your first love and ever pogi boyfriend?

Sandara laughed. Upon realizing that her laugh was louder, she looked around. She left out a sigh upon seeing no one in the classroom. (Pogi= handsome)

Sandara: We’re doing fine. Well, maybe.

Apple: What do you mean? Did he cheat on you?

Dara can’t help it but sigh. Even if they’re miles apart, Apple really can sense her. Maybe because we’re sisters from another parents… she thought.

Sandara: Yep and here I am, cheating also, using his bestfriend.

Apple: You didn’t!

Sandara felt like Apple was now shouting on her bed and making faces with too much disapproval.

Sandara: I just did. *sighs* And now I am in a dilemma.

Apple: Why? Did your pogi boyfriend caught you?

Sandara: Nope. I think… Well, how would you know if you’re in-love?

She waited for Apples’ reply. She knew that she’ll reprimand at her because of her actions. She knew that Apple is afraid of karma because she already did what she’s about to do.

Apple: You’ll know when you fall in-love when you’re asking how you would know if you’re in-love. The person who’s asking if they’re in-love were the one’s who are in-love, but afraid to digest it to themselves.

Dara was staring at Apples’ reply. She bit her lower lip and realized that they have the same answer with Donghae. A little while, another message popped on her screen.

Apple: Now let me ask you, how does it feel when your finger was cut but a knife? How would you know if the knife is sharp?

Dara looked at her friends reply.

Sandara: A knife is sharp is it hurts you and if it gives you a painful feeling.

Apple: That’s it, pansit! It hurts, it is painful and it’s sharp.

Sandara: I don’t understand…

Apple: When you cut yourself by a knife, by a sharp knife, you’ll get hurt and it gives you a painful feeling. But if you’ll cut yourself by a knife, using a blunt knife, you’ll not feel any pain. Just like in love, you will never know if you love someone if you’ll never get hurt. There are different kinds of love: a kind of love that shows pity or a kind of love that shows appreciation. There are many more examples but the thing is, those kinds of love don’t hurt you. And true love is a kind of love that is painful, that can hurt you, that will cut you and your heart into a million pieces because the knife is sharp! It’s painful! It hurts!

Sandara cannot speak (technically cannot move her fingers) because of amusement on her friends words. She’s just starring at her phone, processing the words Apple typed. She bit her lower lip and comprehend her words. Am I in-love? Am I in-love with him? That soon? She thought. She was about to type a rebuttal sentence when her classmates came. She looked at her wrist watch and saw that it’s already 8AM. She sighed and was about to close the facebook application and just gave a reply later when she saw Apples’ reply before she went offline.

Apple: I guess you’re just afraid to love again Apple. Your pogi boyfriend cheated on you and he hurts you, therefore you love him. The thing is you’re afraid to know that you love this… err, someone else. The rationale of this is, how will you know if you love him when you cannot feel the pain? How would you know if the knife is sharp if you didn’t cut yourself? Try to open your heart Dara, your pogi boyfriend is not the only pogi boyfriend in the world! But first, try to accept the fact that you love that someone. Because sometimes, we don’t know that we’re already in-love because we’re afraid to accept it. Eeven on ourselves.

Dara sighed. She thought of the possibilities of loving him, of loving Lee Donghae. It’s too early to fall in-love to Lee Donghae. They’ve just met and what they have is unhealthy. Both of them were cheating on her boyfriend who’s a cheater. The environment is unhealthy. The timing is unhealthy. Am I in-love or just infatuated? Am I in-love or just loving his company?

Dara closes her eyes and try to relax. She was about to close their chat-conversation with Apple when she saw another reply from her.

Apple: It’s okay to love two persons at the same time, but I tell you it’s unhealthy to you- physically, mentally, emotionally and WITH YOUR OVARY.

She can’t help it but smile. Damn you Apple!

Short cameo role from the author lol