Donghae was walking silently inside his dorm. It was empty, it was silent. In normal days he would rant about it since Suho is the one who must turn on the lights. But seeing how empty the dorm was, he has an idea that he’s still not here. He looked at the room and the darkness is making him comfortable. But the emptiness he felt inside of him is not the same emptiness he felt while looking at the empty room. Its… way different.

He turns on the lights and saw Jiyons’ frame sitting near the coffee table. His head is facing on the floor while his fist is clenching. Donghae can feel the aura and he’s agitated. It’s awkward to approach Jiyong but he can’t escape it. He can’t escape the part that he betrayed his best-friend. His brother.

He shook his head and was about to walk away when Jiyong raised his head and met his gaze. His eyes were red and he knew that he cried. Jiyong cried. Donghae don’t know what to feel, honestly. He hurt Jiyong with his selfishness but he’s selfish enough not to mind it. All he wants to think is about him and Dara- alone.

Jiyong met Donghaes’ eyes and the anger he felt build-up. He clenches his fist and forcefully stands-up. He’s been drinking since he came back to his dorm making his world spin. He started laughing while walking towards Donghae who looked like a stone-man standing in-front of him. “Hey there, my jerk bestfriend!”

Donghae can’t look at Jiyong yet he remained standing. Jiyongs’ eyebrows furrowed as he stands-up in-front of him. He stares at Donghae who can’t look at him straight to his eyes. It’s awkward and he’s guilty. It’s eating him up. “Jiyong…”

Jiyong laughed sarcastically. He’s insane, ing insane. “How does it feel to betray you bestfriend? Your brother, huh, Donghae?!”

Donghae stiffened. It was like a bomb exploded right in-front of him. “Jiyong…”

Jiyongs’ anger aroused and he can’t help it but hold Donghaes’ collar, with shaking hands. His breathing is unstable and his teeth is gritting. “How could you do that to me?” He asked, giving emphasis to every word he says. It hurts like hell that someone whom you trust the most betrayed you. “How could you betray me, Donghae, huh? How could you?!”

“I-I’m sorry…” That’s all Donghae could say. He’s sorry that he betrayed Jiyong, but he’s not sorry for loving Dara.

Jiyong pushed Donghae away from him. Even if he wanted to punch Donghae, he just can’t. He sees him as his little brother and he cannot possibly hurt him. Donghae is a year younger than him. “I-I treated you like a brother, Donghae. I treated you like my own and yet you’ll… you’ll betray me?!”

“Hyung…”

“Why? Why, Donghae? Of all people, why Dara?”

Donghae looked down. He cannot possibly look at Jiyong. All the guilty feeling is eating him up. He thought that he can betray Jiyong, that his love for Dara can make him look at Jiyong straight to his eyes. But he can’t. “Jiyong…”

“You know from the start that I love her! That I’d give up everything for her! it Donghae! Why?” Jiyong said. He’s now crying and it’s breaking his heart. He wanted to punch Donghae, like any guy who would know that steal their girlfriend away from them. But no, not Donghae. Not his little brother. “I love her Donghae, I love Dara.”

“I fall in-love with her!” Donghae yelled back. “I fall in-love with her because of your ing fault.”

“ it!”

“If you didn’t let her be with me, if you just get rid of Kiko and bet with her all the time, I wont possibly fall for her!” Donghae said while shaking. His emotions is playing with him, he knew it. He looked at Jiyong straight to his eyes- for the first time- and saw how his eyes shed tears. Jiyong is crying while holding his hair tightly. “God knows how much I tried my best not to fall with her, Ji. God knows I avoided her, that I tried my best to kill this emotions.”

“You should have tried harder!” Jiyong yelled.

“I did! But it, I love her Jiyong! This… this feeling is new to me, to my system. I tried it, I avoided it. I know that if I continue that feeling, everything will be ed-up. That if I’ll continue my feelings for Dara, I’ll betrayed you.”

“!”

Donghae is now crying along with Jiyong. This is the very first time that they fought: the very first time both of them cried because of a girl. For years of friendship, they didn’t see this to happen. The two were inseparable. “Jiyong…”

“I love her Donghae, I love her very much.”

“I love her too.”

Donghae looked away and wiped his own tears. “Punch me hyung.”

Jiyong shook his head. “I won’t do that.”

Donghae reached for Jiyongs’ fist and motioned it to punch his face. “Punch me, so you can forgive me. Hurt me, so I can look at you again to your eyes.”

Jiyong smirked and with all force, he punched Donghaes’ chin. Donghae fell again on the floor but he didn’t mind. He smirked and went closer again to Jiyong. “Punch me again.”

Jiyong did as what Donghae told him to do so. He punched his face and didn’t mind that his bleeding. All the anger he felt suddenly came up and all he want to do is to get even. He punched Dongahe like there’s no tomorrow and forget about the fact that he thought of him as his own brother.

“ it.” Jiyong yelled as he keeps on punching Donghae. “Of all people who could betray me, why you? Huh?! Aren’t you happy seeing me ed-up, Donghae? I only told you to watch her over me and not to fall in-love with her! You, son of a !”

Donghae just smirked and receives Jiyongs’ punches. He’s not afraid to go to school with bruises and black-eye. He knew he deserves it. He receives it like it was a consolation prize. He betrayed his brother with Dara but to him, Dara is worth all the punches and bruises. He’s selfish, he only want Dara for his own. He wants her for himself and he will do everything to have her.

Jiyong was panting while sitting on the couch. His hands were bleeding due to the broken skin on Donghaes’ face. It stings, it’s numbing, but he doesn’t care. He wanted to just close his eyes and sleep. He’s tired and with the help of alcohol, his world seems like revolving.

“I won’t forgive you, Donghae, I wont. And I’ll get Dara back, no matter what.” Jiyong said. He closes his eyes and the image of Dara is haunting him. Her smile made her day all this time. “She’s mine to begin with; she’s mine at the end of everything.”

“Suit yourself Jiyong, but I’m telling you, I won’t give up that fast.” Donghae said. “You spill Dara out and that’s the same moment you let me have her. For my own. I am a pathetic son of a who will do everything just to have her for my own. I am a pathetic son of a who will pick up her broken heart, the heart you broke, and make it whole again.”

Donghae closes his eyes and smiled weakly. His wounds were stinging but he didn’t give a damn. He wants to sleep and woke up the next day thinking that Dara is still the Dara he love- that what she said earlier is just a joke.

“I’m home s----!” Suho mumbled upon entering the room and saw how the two lying on their own on the floor and on the couch.

***

Suho was silently waiting for Dara outside. They’re now at the café where his girlfriend is working at. He can clearly see how his girlfriend smiles at her and he’s not a jerk not to smile back at her. He’s lucky to have her for him- with no baggages and stupid s around.

He can clearly see Dara walking towards his table. He hasn’t seen Dara for quite some time because he got busy with school stuffs and he must say, she looked so stressed.

“Hey.”

“Hey there, Suho.” Dara greeted him back. Dara saw Suhos’ girlfriend working to she gave her a smile. Suhos’ girlfriend became her friend for quite some time already. She’s nice and Suho is very lucky to have her.

“You want some milk tea?”

“Sure please.”

Suho went to the counter and gave Daras’ order to his girlfriend. He even flirted to her, making Dara roll her eyes to the two. Both of them looked really in-love and she can’t help it but get envy. All she even want is a normal relationship but because of her ed-up decision, everything seems unclear.

“You okay?” Suho asked as he went back to their table.

“Yeah…” Dara said. She knew her better, she’s not. But she should fake it- fake her smile, her laugh. She should so no one would know her real emotions.

Suho looked at Dara intently. “I know everything, Dara.”

Dara looked at Suho and smiled at him. “When?”

“Just…. Few hours ago.”

Dara nod and looked away. She cannot look at Suho straight to his eyes. She’s afraid that he’ll know her real emotions.

Suho sighed. “Why did you choose to break their hearts, Dara?” Dara remained silent, so Suho continued. “You choose to break their hearts. You should realize by now that you’re becoming Jiyong-like.”

“I-I’m doing it for them.”

Suho smirked. “You think by hurting them, your doing them a favor?”

“Suho, hurting them is the only way I can to so save them from misery.”

“You’re making their life miserable Dara! Can’t you see? They’re crazy for you!”

“I-I can’t do anything with that.” Dara said while looking away. “I am doing this Suho for them, please try to understand me.”

The milk tea Dara ordered came along with the cupcakes. Dara can’t look at it. It reminds her so much of Donghae. “Tell me why?”

Dara looked away while closing her eyes. “No.”

“If you won’t tell me, I can’t understand your decision.”

Dara smiled weakly. “Did you know that I love both of them?”

“You only love Jiyong, but you’re not in-love with him. Those two ideas were similar yet different at the same time.”

“I know.” Dara said. She bit her lower lip as she remembers the face of Donghae. “I-I hurt Donghae. He’s… he’s hurt buy now.”

“Donghae is a selfless man Dara. He will anything for you because he loves you.”

“But he deserves better.”

“You think you can easily change his mind?” Suho said, while mocking.

“Donghae is stubborn yet sweet.”

“And you’re hurting yourself by remembering how lucky you are for having Donghae.” Suho said. “I can now clearly see that you really love Donghae.”

“How?” Dara asked, amusingly. “How can you say that as if you’re just telling me that the grass is green?”

“I don’t know. Probably, the lovers-disease symptoms. Your whole face is saying that you’re in-love Dara.”

“What if I tell you that I am in-love with Jiyong and not with Donghae?” Dara asked, testing Suho.

Suho smirked while he shook his head. “Naah, I know you better even if we’ve just met.” Suho said, evolving his expression from a smiling one to a serious face. “Now tell me, why did you hurt them?”

“It’s happening again.” Dara said while plastering a sad smile. She closes her eyes so Suho wont see that unshed tears she’s been holding.

“What?”

“I’m going back to the Philippines.” And with that, she cried in-front of Suho like a lost child. The emotions she kept for herself came out. She’s going back there…. for good.

TEASER:

“You… you will always be my first love, my first true love, Jiyong.” Dara said while crying. She closes her eyes and felt Jiyongs’ lips…