Dara woke up when she felt the warm breath of someone on her neck. It was warm and comforting. She smiled as she stares at the ceiling. She felt like the whole world is so good to her despite of the fact that she’ll be gone. Maybe not forever, but for quite long time. She looked at Donghae who’s sleeping beside her and it made her smile. Yes, they just sleep. They just sleep together. Nothing happened.

Donghae smiled, making Dara rolled her eyes. “I know you’re not sleeping, Lee Donghae.”

Donghae, whose eyes still closed, pouted and trying his best to act sleepy. He’s still savoring the moment that they’re together because he knew that Dara will try her very best to get away from him again. It hurts him, really hurts him, but he cannot do anything. He respects her so much that he’s willing to accept everything. “I’m sleepy girlfriend.”

“You’re sleepy and yet you’re answering? Not a good liar Donghae.”

Donghae didn’t mind Daras’ remark. He pulls Dara closer to him and smiled. Her tiny waist fits perfectly to him and it hurts him that he cannot hug her like this anymore. “I miss you.”

Dara just smiled. She started caressing Donghaes’ hair. “You were a little bit drunk the other night. Why did you drink?”

“Hmmm. Maybe because I’m sad?”

“Why are you sad?”

“Because I know I am loosing you…” Donghae said. He met Daras’ eyes and saw the sadness in it. He gave her a warm smile and cupped her cheeks. “Hey…”

“I’m sorry.” Dara said. She can’t help it but shed a tear but immediately remove it by wiping it away. “This whole thing is… complicated. Like a roller coaster ride. We started in a very, very wrong foot Donghae.”

Donghae smiled at her, despite of the fact that they’re starting get emotional again.  All he ever wanted is simple- to be with Dara and be happy. “Indeed.”

“I am letting you go this time, Donghae. Just this time.” Dara said.

Donghae just smiled and nuzzle his head on Daras’ waist. He buried his face to hide the sadness of his eyes. He’s disappointed… very disappointed. To whom? To Dara? To yourself? Or to the situation? The tiny voice on his head asked. “But I beg to disagree. If for you, it’s easy to let go; for me, letting you go is like letting myself die slowly.”

“What we have is complicated, Donghae. We started on a wrong foot. We met in a very wrong time.”

“Yeah, right love at a wrong time s.” Donghae chuckled. “All I want is very simple Dara. Just, be with me.” He said in a low tone. “Is that even too much?”

Dara bit her lower lip and suppress the sob on . She wanted to hug Donghae, to kiss away the pain she caused to him. All I want is be with you too. She thought. But if she’ll try to defy the order of her parents, what will happen? She’s too young. Both of them were too young. She has no hold of her freedom, as of now. She’s just a College-dependent-to-her-parents-student.

Donghae deserves to be happy. She always says that to herself. Ever since she met him and started of as friends, all she ever wished is Donghaes’ happiness. And she’s not a hypocrite or crazy to admit that to herself that she’s his happiness. I am Donghaes’ happiness.

“You know, at the end of the day, I’d still choose you Donghae. It’s just that things aren’t on the right places as of now. I-I need to fix this for us. I want us to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

“But why are you doing this to me? To us?” Donghae asked in a tormented tone. He pulls himself to sit on the bed and stare at Daras’ eyes.  He can clearly see the sadness in her eyes and it’s more like of a reflection to what he really feel too. “Yeah, maybe we ed-up the situation by cheating and cheating and ing cheating. Yeah, maybe we’re sinners for doing that but, can’t you see? I am willing to sacrifice! I sacrifice for ing out loud!”

“But not now. Donghae, understand me please. I want to be with you, hell yeah, badly want to, but—but the situation is… is not with us.”

“What do you mean?”

Dara shook her head. She closes her eyes and looked away. She will not tell Donghae about her departure. She will go back to Philippines, without telling him. She’s crazy for not saying this but she’s crazier if she’ll tell Donghae. She’ll be gladder to know he will more likely hate her for not telling him but wont even dare to try it again. Long Distance Relationship won’t work. Again. Not for the second time around. Not with Donghae. “I-I’m sorry I can’t tell you Donghae.”

“W-why? Why, Dara?” Donghae asked. He’s crying in-front of her and gay it may seem but hell yeah, he’s hurting. Crying in-front of the person you love isn’t an act of being a ‘gay’. It is more likely become an act of ‘braveness’ because the mere fact that he cried, in-front of her, only tells Dara that he’s vulnerable too. That he’s hurting too. “Tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“Is it about Jiyong? Are you with him again?” Donghae hissed. He’s stupid for bringing Jiyong in the topic but he has no idea what the hell is wrong.

“No!”

“Then, what?!” Donghae shouted. “If it’s not Jiyong, then what?!”

“I AM GOING HOME!”

“W-what?!”

“I-I am going home.” Donghae just stared at Dara. The emotion on her face is very… wearing. The way her lips shake and the way she stares at him make him want to cry too. “I am going to the Philippines. For good.”

“Hah!” Donghae hissed. He strangles his hair and starred at Dara for awhile. “Are you kidding me?” Dara shook her head, crying, making Donghae stands-up. He started walking from left to right and then kicked the air- as if he’s kicking something. “You’re going back?!”

“Yes…”

“Damn it!” And with that, Donghae walked out from Daras’ room, leaving Dara alone. She even heard another cuss from him making her heave out a heavy sigh and composed herself. This is what she wants, right? That Donghae will leave her like she does not exist. But why does it hurt like hell?

***

Donghae went straight to his dorm only to find out that Suho and Jiyong is there too. Damn awkwardness. He thought. He wanted to walk away and just pretend that he didn’t come when Suho saw him and smiled.

“Come on hyung.” Suho called it. He was lucky enough that the stars are on his favor for letting Donghae come back home. Donghae didn’t come home and seeing how frustrated he was right now gave him an idea that he’s having a bad day.

Donghae went inside, not minding if Jiyong gave him a glance. He nods at Suho and went to his room. He changed clothes and didn’t bother to take a bath. He’s not smelly at all even if it’s been 24-hours since he last took his bath.

As he went back to the living room, Donghae noticed a case of beer on the table. It’s the very first time that the table is filled with beers. Most of the time, especially if Suho is around, the table is filled with huge books and posts-it. Suho loves to study at the living room and on the kitchen counter.

“What’s with the beer? Geez! I didn’t know that you love to drink at this early hour, Suho.” Donghae commented- trying his best to act normal and sounds normal. He doesn’t want to act awkward towards Jiyong.

Suho just smirked and throw some ice cubes on his way. “Let’s celebrate.”

Suho is now besides Donghae who’s now in-front of Jiyong. Awkward. Suho just shrug and started to put some ice on their glasses. “Seriously Suho, what’s with the beer?”

“Stop asking and just drink.” Jiyong muttered. He didn’t let Suho put some ice on his glass; he just drank his beer directly from its can. It’s bitter with inflaming sensation but Jiyong didn’t mind it at all. He started drinking it like it’s a form of a juice.

Donghae just shrug and started to drink. Suho just watch the two as they started drinking the beer. He can feel the tension and awkwardness between the two. It saddens him knowing how their friendship got ruined for loving the same girl at the same time.

“I’m sorry guys.” Suho started. He now got the attention of the two since both of them placed their glasses on the table.

“H-huh?”

Suho sighed. “I should have stopped you two from fighting.”

Jiyong just hissed and started drinking. “Even if you’ll stop us, I’d still do it.”

“Look what happened to your friendship.”

“The moment she liked my girlfriend is the same moment he forgets about our friendship.” Jiyong commented. “Am I right, Donghae?”

Donghae looked away while putting the glass of beer on and started drinking. “The moment you didn’t listen to my advice is the same moment you gave me the right to like him. Right, Jiyong?”

Jiyong tsk-ed and then stares at Donghae. “We’re going back to square one, Donghae.”

Suho just sighed and then stares at the two. “Your friendship is really at stake this time. You’ll like the same girl, you’ll loose the same girl but your friendship… You really want to put it at stake?”

“I love her Donghae. For ing out loud, I love Dara dearly.”

Donghae smirked. “Then why did you cheat?!”

“Because I don’t want to hurt her!”

“Not hurt her?!” Donghae hissed. His grip on the glass is tightening. “Are you sure you’re running for Laude this graduation, Kwon Jiyong?! Where is you logic?!”

“ it!” Jiyong stands-up and holds Donghae collar. “For ing out loud,  Donghae.”

Jiyong was about to hit Donghae when Suho went to Jiyongs’ and is about to stop him when Jiyongs’ elbows met his face. “!!!”

“Damn it, Suho!” Donghae hissed. “What the are you doing there?”

Suho puts his hands on his nose, where Jiyongs’ elbows landed, and started pressing it. He’s looking down and waiting for the blood to flow. “Damn it! If my nose will bleed, I swear to my girlfriends underwear, you’ll loose your very handsome roommate!” Suho almost loss his consciousness because of the blood flowing. “! !”

“Are you a ing med student? Why are you afraid of blood?” Jiyong hissed. “And will you please look up? The blood is flowing.”

“That’s it! I am letting this blood to flow in order to clean my nose. Geez! I think my nose broke.”

“You’re just over-reacting Suho. Didn’t change for a bit. ” Donghae chuckled. He looked at Jiyong who’s now laughing. “Isn’t it, hyung?” Donghaes’ smile froze upon realizing that he’s talking to Jiyong.

“Yeah…” Jiyong answered after awhile.

Suho smiled. He sat down on the couch and gets some ice. “You’re still fighting over petty things.”

“If you consider Dara as the petty things, then, I’m sorry Suho, but I am not considering you as one of my friends.” Donghae joked.

“Why don’t you accept that people do come and go in your life.” Suho said while shooking his head. He stares at Donghae and Jiyong at the same time.

“Easy to say.” Jiyong commented, making Suho smile. “And stop smiling with an ice cube on your nose bridge, Suho. It’s… weird.”

“Nope. Just use some logic Jiyong. If someone doesn’t like you or love you anymore, why not get away with them?”

“Come on! Where going back to—“

“Don’t you think that you’re just holding to Dara up until now because you see her as your first love? Or maybe, because you see her as a breathing bubble. A breathing bubble that take you away from all the s in this world. In your world.” Suho commented. “That you don’t really love her anymore but sees her as a companion, as the person you loved and the only person who keeps you from ground.”

“Sometimes, I hate you for being so intelligent, Suho.” Jiyong commented. “But sad to say, I love her.”

Suho patted Jiyongs’ head and smiled. “Look at it in this way, Jiyong. Dara is your first love; she’s the one you want to be with during seventh grade. Tell me, how old are you now? Early 20s?”

“I know I am older than you.”

“My point it, Sandara is just your back subject. The person who haunts you for a long time. That when she came back, even if you don’t love her anymore, it is engraved in you brain that you want to be with her and show her how much you love her when in fact you don’t have any feelings for her anymore.

 Sometimes, people just want someone who will make them forget how ty the world actually is. Dara somehow, brings you back to the old you—the carefree and simple Jiyong.”

Jiyong remained silent and think. Suho used the opportunity to give s to Donghae. “As for you Donghae, you started in a wrong foot. Cheating doesn’t solve anything, Donghae.”

“I know…”

“But you choose to be selfish jerk. An . And now the consequence is here: you loose the friendship you shared with Jiyong for quite long time.”

Donghae stares at Jiyong who stares at him too. He left out a heavy sigh. “I am selfish, I know, but if you feel the same thing, you’ll do the same too. I just… I just fall for his girlfriend that hard.”

“What are you sacred of the most? Loosing Dara or loosing your friendship with Jiyong?”

Donghae looked down because he knew his answer. He’d rather loose Jiyong than Dara. He’s an , he knew it, but he can’t help it. What he felt towards Dara is really new to hima dn damn, he’d loose his sanity if Dara will leave him.

Suho smiled. “I’m glad you fought for you feelings, Donghae. But for now, you have to fix your friendship first with Jiyong. He’s still you brother, after all. You can loose Dara in the middle part of your story, but you can’t loose Jiyong. And I am not letting you loose the friendship, the brotherhood.”

Suho left them. Donghae stares at Jiyong, who’s staring at him too. “I am fighting for her…” Jiyong stated while staring at Donghaes’ eyes. “It doesn’t mean that Dara choose you, you’ll have the right to have her. I still want her for my own, Donghae. Still.”

Donghae smirked. And what surprises Jiyong along with Suho who’s staring at them is Donghaes’ next move. He knelt down in-front of Jiyong.

“Whatthe--!”

“I’ve been a good friend, a good son, a good citizen of South Korea.”

“What the hecka re you doing?!” Jiyong roared. “Damn it! Lee Donghae, stand up! Just ing stand up!”

Donghae shook his head and smiled. “I am kneeling in-front of you Jiyong, begging to let me have Dara for my own. I love her so much for---“

“ it!” Jiyong punched Donghae on his right cheeks.

“Kwon Jiyong!” Suho hissed. “Whatthe--!”

“That’s for kneeling in-front of me.” Jiyong hissed.

“Jiyong…”

“I am not a ing God, Lee Donghae! And for a record, Dara is not a thing.”

“Then—“

“This is for ruining our friendship.” Jiyong said while giving Donghae a hard punch on his left cheek. “This is for betraying me. This is for ruining everything.”

Jiyong started punching again Donghae and Suho cannot even do a move. He can stop them but he knew this is their own way for re-building their friendship, to save their friendship. That by punching the other, it is the only way for them to release the s in them. A form of closure.

Jiyong stopped upon feeling that his fists were already numb. His knuckles were already bleeding, a sign that Donghaes’ skin were already wounded.

“Stop it Ji.” Suho protested.

“You’re an for a record.” Jiyong said.

“I know.” Donghae said while chuckling. Despite of the fact that he’s wearing a wounded face, he’s still happy to know that his ed-up friendship with Jiyong will be okay soon.

“Don’t do that again.”

“Which part? The betraying or the kneeling?”

“Both.” Jiyong looked at his younger brother and smiled. “I hope Dara won’t like you anymore. You look ugly.”

“And ooh, he looks like a fish.” Suho added.

Donghae smiled even if his face stings. “Naah.”

“Should I call the medics or what?” Suho interrupted.

Donghae and Jiyong both grab the pillow and throw it on Suhos’ laughing face.  “ you!”

“Geez! I’ll just grab the medicine kit.” Suho said while going to the comfort room to get the medicine kit.

Jiyong and Donghae was left there but they’re doesn’t feel the awkwardness again. “Don’t hurt her, Donghae. Don’t hurt her the way I hurt her.”

Donghae smiled and closes his eyes. He remembers how Dara gave her beautiful smile to him that made him surpass every s of his life as of the moment. “There’s just something about Dara that I’m scared to loose.”

“Yeah, she’s really something.”

Donghae smiled. He even agreed to Jiyongs’ remark. “Something about her that made me curious every waking day. Or because I know I won’t find it in anyone else. Yeah, I’m scared to loose Dara because I know I can’t find someone like her again.”

TEASER:

“Why do people give up so easily? It’s like one minute they’re there for you and we’re abut to fall in love with each other and the next minute they’re forever gone from life- from your life.”