Donghae was just staring at his test paper and barely move his pen. He’s pre-occupied and he doesn’t want to answer his exams. Damn it! He thought. This is the very first time he was like that- unable to concentrate and answer his test paper. The clock is ticking and every second counts. He still cannot concentrate on his test paper. He left out a heavy sigh and then closes his eyes.

I should set-aside first Dara… Come on, Donghae! Prioritize your exam first! He thought. He manages to answer the exams and he’s not that confident while passing it. He sighed and goes home. He’s done with his exams today. Lucky enough that it was just a minor subject and his last text for midterms, because it was his first day of exams, 100% that his exams will be screwed.

He entered the room and saw no one. He left out a heavy sigh. These past few days, sighing is like an ordinary thing for him. He went to his room, places his bag on the carpeted floor, and laid his whole body on his bed. He closes his eyes and tries to calm himself.

“Everything is screwed up.” He mumbled.

He bit his lower lip, trying to fight the emotion running in his system. He hated it, the idea of him crying. When was the last time he cried for someone? When his parents left him? When he knew that his parents got divorced and have another family? When he realize that he’s all alone in this lonely country?

But this one, it’s really different. This is not just an ordinary feeling. He felt like his heart was broke into billion pieces. He’s not gay, definitely not, but a part of him wanted to cry because of the emotions he cannot suppress anymore. His heart is clenching, as if something is doing bad things on his heart. His breathing isn’t fine too- the more he breath, the more painful he felt. His heart is aching, and this is probably what they call ‘heartache’.

Heartache… by mere definition it’s just a mental anguish; a sorrow or grief. But it was just an understatement; because right now, he’s experiencing hearbreak… his heart has an overflowing, overwhelming sorrow. He felt like he’s half dead. And he cannot forbid himself anymore; his eyes shed tears that are really unusual to him. His eyes watered and tears were falling uncontrollably. He put his right arm on his head, covering his eyes, just to stop the tears.

He never loved before, he just do flings, but if this is what they call love, then so be it. His heart is in pain and that’s because of the same person who brought happiness to his heart. If tears can be the real measuring tool, to know how much you love a person, he’s willing to cry everyday just to prove Dara that he’s in-love with her. If a boy cries for a girl, they say it is more meaningful. Few guys cry for someone and heck, he’s included.

“Screw ing Suho for saying that the brain is the reason why we fall in-love…” he mumbled. “Just… I’m so in-love with Dara…”

Falling in-love is not part of the plan. It was… unexpected. And for all people, to the last person he thinks he will love! Why to Sandara Park? Why to the girlfriend of his best-friend? Why did he fall for Dara? Is it because she’s always with him? Is it because he saw how she cried for Jiyong? Love and pity… they’re two different words and sometimes it can be switched. But the thing is, there’s a thin line that distinguishes the two. If he loves Dara, then he must answer his question. WHY? Why is he in-love with her?

He was still crying when he fall asleep. Probably due to his lack of sleep because of too much studying or probably, because he’s emotionally tired. But before he falls asleep, he left out a heavy sigh.

“I’m still his soldier and I’m willing to fight for her…”

***

Kiko was a bit agitated upon waiting for Dara. What does she want right now? She thought. Did she already know about me and Jiyong? Does she want me to back-off? A lot of things were running on her mind. Kikos’ afraid that she can say something that could hurt her or that could hurt both of them- she’s not yet ready to let go of Jiyong or hurt Dara. That’s the last thing she wants to do.

She stiffened upon seeing Dara walking towards her. She’s not on her usual self- smiling to everyone. She’s serous and the by her looks, Kiko felt like what they’ll talk about is really serious. When she receive her text message, she was a bit curious way she wanted to talk to her.

Kiko stand-up and gave Dara a smile. For her it was a friendly smile but for Dara, it was an annoying one. How could she smile like that to her when she felt like she’s playing to her?

“Hey.” Dara said.

“Hey.” Kiko answered. She motioned Dara to sit and gave her a smile. “So, how are you?”

Dara smiled too. “I’m… not good.”

Kikos’ smile fades and she stares at Dara intently. She tries to weight everything- if things get worst, would she choose to tell her the truth? Could she hurt Dara for more?

“W-why?”

Dara sighed. “I know Jiyong is cheating on me…”

Kikos’ eyes widened. She has no idea that Dara already imagined that reaction for her. Kiko looked away; try her best to act calm even if her body is already tensed as hell. “W-what?”

“Jiyong is cheating on me.” Dara said, in a monotone. “He’s cheating on me and I saw him with that girl.” Dara stares at Kiko, observing her reaction and she’s not surprised when her skin becomes white.

“I… I don’t know what to say…”

You don’t know what to say because you’re that ! How could she gain her attitude? She wasn’t born to be a but she wanted to become one. And she wants to give Kiko a slap on her face. How could she act like she’s not that ? She wanted a catfight but she knew better.

“Did you know something about this Kiko?” Sandara asked in a serious tone.

Kikos’ eyes widened. She’s not really for this, definitely not! She wanted to escape but, how? Could she run away? Could she just jump to another topic? “Dara…”

“I know that you’re having an affair with my boyfriend…” Sandara blow- not even blinking. She looked Kiko, straight to her eyes, and saw her reaction. She looked horrified with her eyes wide opened and she, holding her breath.

“Sandara…” she said, more like a whisper. She wanted to tell how sorry she was or just merely sorry but she cannot find her voice. Damn it Kiko! Save yourself!

Sandara almost laughed her heart out, making Kiko confused. Sandara was laughing her heart out; even shed a tear because of too much joy. So this happens when she told them that she knows their affair? She badly wants to smirk. The is afraid of being caught!

“It was just a joke Kiko!” Dara said, while laughing. She knew herself; it was just a fake laugh. “Donghae told me to do that prank and geez, it was epic! If you could have seen your face…”

Kiko almost died with too much emotion. She wanted to slap at herself because damn it, she could have died! She also faked a laugh. “A-ahh…”

Dara wipe the tears on her face. “I just want to have a moment with you. You know, girl bonding. You’re the best-friend of Jiyong so I should make friends with you too.”

Kiko just nod. “And I want to say sorry to what you saw the last time you saw me and Donghae. You know, for the love of our term papers. Geez, Donghae is just a brother to me.”

Kiko smiled. “I-I was really caught off-guard because of that Dara…” she mumbled.

“Why? Are you two cheating on my back?”

“N-no!” Kiko answered. “I-I was just shaken upon hearing it. I-I really thought Jiyong is really cheating.”

“Wasn’t he?” Dara mumbled.

“W-what?”

“Just don’t mind me.” Dara said while smirking. “I want to plan a vacation for the four of us- me, Jiyong, you and Donghae.”

“O-oh…” Kiko said. She hasn’t recovered to Daras’ sudden ‘joke’. She listened to her plans and agrees to them. On the other hand, Dara smirked. This poor … you really though I am this stupid, eh? Wait until I slap this to you.

***

After that conversation with Kiko, Dara went straight to her dorm. She wanted to forget about her because it irritates her. She wanted to forget about what she did, for ruining everything, but she just can’t. She hate Kiko and she cannot forget that easily.

Jiyong wasn’t able to walk her to her dorm because he still has classes after his exam. And she understands it, she will understand it. Upon entering the room, she touched her chest and felt… that she’s flat chested. (Boo~~._.) She wanted to laugh at her own joke, just to hide that feeling she had right now. She’s in a dilemma- in choosing what is right and what is what she really feels.

 She’s in-love with Donghae… she must admit it. Her friend Apple was right, Suho was right, everybody is right. She’s in-love with Donghae. But she must fight it, she will kill her feelings towards his because it’s the right thing to do. She has a boyfriend that she really loves, and that’s Jiyong. But Donghae is there, and she loves him too.

“Damn it…” She mumbled.

She went to the kitchen counter and went to the ref to get some cold water. But upon opening the ref, she saw the note Donghae wrote when he was there with her.

To Darong:
Eat a lot. Skinny girls aren’t likeable to cuddle.

She smiled. She opens the ref and gets some water. She was stunned upon seeing the tumbler Donghae left. She went his room, went to the kitchen, to the CR and almost cries upon realizing things. Donghae left a lot of things in her dorm. She saw his own plate and kitchen utensils in the kitchen, his blue towel beside her pink towel and his shirt he left when they slept in the living room upon writing Chapter 1-3 on their term paper. But what made her cry is seeing his own toothbrush, his pink toothbrush, beside her blue toothbrush. They bought it together, in the mall.

She bit her lower lip trying her best not to sob but she failed. It really pains her heart. She was torn between Jiyong, her boyfriend, and Donghae, the person she loves. She still loves Jiyong but she loves Donghae too, and it’s making her head crazy. Well Suho is right, it’s okay to love two persons at the same time but it’s not healthy. And right now, she’s experiencing it. She’s torn between the two guys she loves.

She’s not even aware that she’s falling for Donghae and the whole thing… falling for him, happened so fast. Did she fall out of love with Jiyong? No, she still loves him. She can feel it. They say falling in love is not by choice, but it’s by chance. Is her chance with Jiyong already through? Does falling for Donghae is the right thing to do?

She was about to close her eyes when she saw a sticky-note posted on her ref. It was written by Donghae.

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice….

She worked hard for their relationship to grow. She went back to Korea, even if her parents don’t like it because they’re already stable in the Philippines. She knew she was still in-love with Jiyong but why? Why did she fall for someone else? Is it because of Jiyongs’ absence?

“W-why did I even enter in this stupid situation?” she mumbled. She was just crying like a stupid girl but then she immediately stops upon realizing thing. “If… if I do it.”

She shook her head. She will definitely not do it. There are a lot of ways, a lot, to know if you’re truly in-love with your boyfriend. She stands-up, arrange herself and dialed the last person she wanted to talk.

“He-hello? Jiyong? Are… are you free today? I want to talk to you…”

Jiyong sighed, from the other line. He misses her girlfriend and he can’t help it but smile. “Sure. Where?”

“In my dorm.”

“O-okay.” Jiyong answered. He felt that something weird is happening. “I’ll bring food then.”

“Okay. And Ji…”

“Hmmm?”

“I really love you…”

Jiyong can’t help it but smile. His blockmates looked at him but he just didn’t mind it. “I love you too…”

When the phone call ended, Dara left out a heavy sigh. She went outside to calm herself when she saw one stem of sunflower. She looked around, to find if someone dropped it on her dorm, but she sees no one. She gets the sunflower on the floor and looked at it. There she saw a note hanging on the stem. She looked at it and almost cry when she realized that it was from Donghae.

To my girlfriend:
Love is a war and I am your soldier. You cannot easily get rid of me, not now, not tomorrow, not that I already knew that you love me.

Dara run towards the exit gate of the building. She wanted to know if Donghae is still there but she failed. No signs of Donghae. She left out a heavy sigh and looked at the flower. She wanted to ask why he’s doing it, why he’s still fighting for her. But she can’t because there’s no Donghae around. When she went back to her dorm, she closes the door. She places the flower on the vase and places them on her room.

Few minutes later she heard a knock on her room. She nervously opens them and saw Jiyong, smiling at her. She gave him a nervous smile. Her heart is palpitating and she’s sweating.

“I ordered food and any minute now it will come.” Jiyong said. He hugs Dara and nuzzle her neck. “Ahh, my very beautiful girlfriend smells good.”

Dara nervously chuckled. She pushes Jiyong and stares at him, directly to his eyes. “Take me…” she said.

“H-huh?” Jiyong asked. He knew he was a playboy and he prayed to heaven that he heard it wrongly. Dara isn’t that kind of girl.

“Make love to me…” Dara said, staring straight to Jiyongs’ eyes. That’s the least thing she can do, or she just thought. I just hope my decision is right…