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77. MINHO - (BYONG’S WEDDING – 14)

After some time Duckie climbed onto our bed and wrapped her arms around both Puppy and me. Byong couldn’t take any more of Minho hogging his father’s lap and began to poke the sleeping man, “Minho uncle wake up! You are missing all the action in the room.”

Minho grinned in his sleep and his lips, but his eyes remained closed. Byong poked him again and Minho swatted his hand away with a mumble, “Go away! You are distracting Puppy. Let him finish fast. It’s my turn next with Jinki.”

Six pairs of shocked eyes stared at the sleeping man who continued to his lips and began to rub a hand over Puppy’s lower leg. Puppy quickly moved his hands away from Minho’s hair and tried to shake the hand off his leg as well. It was the kids who first began to snicker and then laugh loudly. Puppy and I were shocked speechless, not to mention, flushed red in our faces.

Byong began to poke Puppy and me instead, “I knew it. I knew it. You ies are into threesomes. And now you want to add poor Eunha noona to it.”

After hearing the proof of Minho’s dreams, that too in front of our kids, Puppy couldn’t get away from Minho fast enough. But, where could he go wearing only a t-shirt? Duckie and Byong occupied the other bed, cutting off that escape route. When my brain began working, I did the best I could to help my Puppy. I kicked Minho and rolled him off Puppy’s leg.

There was a loud thud followed by a louder groan as Minho landed on the floor. Sehun continued to laugh as he rushed to help the now-awake man sit up and then stand to look at us with his frog eyes opened as wide as possible. Well, in my defense, I was still partly in shock and it was not my fault that the only way Minho rolled was away from our son and daughter-in-law.

“Why did you let me fall to the floor? I have banged my knees and forehead. My nose hurts as well,” Minho whined as he rubbed his forehead and nose with both hands.

Sehun walked him to sit on the chair vacated by Byong. Our son quickly moved to occupy Minho’s earlier place on our bed and brought Puppy’s fingers to run through his hair, his face lit up with a devilish smirk. With impish eyes he asked Duckie, “Sweetheart, why do we forget to record our moments with my parents? We lost the perfect opportunity to make Minho uncle our slave for life."

“What?” Minho’s mouth opened as round as his eyes. “What do you mean your slave? Who pushed me off the bed? I am an old man. My knees are throbbing.”

My hands curled into fists. Puppy wrapped his hands over them and whispered in a very low voice into my ear, “Let the children deal with him, yeobo. Don’t waste your energy getting angry with him.”

Duckie leaned in to kiss our cheeks and assured us in an equally low voice, “We will. Don’t worry.” We kissed her back and tried to relax. I wrapped my arms around Puppy’s middle and began rubbing his sides. He gently ran his fingers through our son’s hair.

Sehun’s words made us glance at Minho again, “Uncle, be glad your knees are the only body part throbbing? Ummm, are you sure it’s the only one?” Minho blushed red as he caught Sehun’s look towards his crotch, and immediately crossed his legs. The kids laughed louder, confusing the older man even more.

“Be glad that ummappa only nudged you off the bed. Knowing the content of your recent dream, Hee umma will choke you to death with his bare hands,” Minx wagged a finger at Minho. “What were you doing sleeping in appa’s lap?”

Minho gave a quick glance at all our faces before looking down and massaging his knees with his hands, “I was simply talking to Puppy and Jinki. It was Puppy who pulled me to lie down like that. Why does everyone blame me only all the time? I did not even say anything.”

“Ah! But you did, Minho uncle. You said quite a lot when asleep,” Byong winked evilly at Minho.

“I fell asleep?” Minho questioned Byong and when the boy nodded, he looked reproachfully at Puppy. “Why didn’t you wake me up, Puppy? I had promised to take Jungkook to the kitchen for a special treat.”

“Maybe because you were more entertaining when asleep?” Duckie tilted her head to one side and raised her brows enquiringly.

Minho pouted at her words and looked at all of us before mumbling to himself, “I am not their private entertainment channel. Why? Why? They leave no opportunity to insult me.”

“There is one person who is full of praises for you. Do you want to know who?” Minx winked at us and poked Minho’s cheek.

“What do you mean ‘one person’? How can anyone see me as bad?” Minho mumbled as he bit her finger to stop it from poking his face again. His question evaporated our anger and had Puppy and me laughing with the kids. Minho scowled at us, “Okay, I will take the bait. Who is this ‘one person’ in your evil family to sing my praises?”

“Eunha unnie,” Minx crowed and all of us watched Minho’s face for reaction.

He didn’t disappoint us. His eyes widened again as comprehension dawned on him and he wagged a finger towards us. Equally enjoyable was his protest, “Oh no, you are not doing that to me. You are not fixing me up with anyone here.”

Sehun grinned at his response, “Can we do it in Daegu then?”

Minho’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly for a minute before he got back his power of speech, “No, I meant you cannot do it ever. I know what you are trying to do. You are getting rid of me. But I refuse to go. You are stuck with me forever. You cannot take away my Jinki, Minx and grandchildren away from me. You can torture me all you want. I am not letting them go. Puppy has agreed to let me be part of your family. Read my lips. You. Are. Not. Getting. Rid. Of. Me.”

We grinned as we watched Minho pause to catch his breath after his mini rant. It was Sehun who rubbed the older man’s shoulder to calm him down while correcting him in a soothing voice, “Who said we want to get rid of you? We want you around, even if you have erted dreams about ummappa and Puppy appa. Don’t we Byong?”

“Only if he tells me all his recent dreams in full detail,” Byong winked at Minho and made him turn red in embarrassment. Puppy pulled our son’s hair in silent rebuke, making him whine at us, “Appa, I need to learn. As my parents, you should teach me all you know. But, you are tight-lipped. I have to find other sources and you can’t blame me after hearing a preview of his dream just now.”

Minho covered his mouth with his fingers on hearing the censure in my response when I poked my toes into Byong’s shoulder, “Are you planning to have threesomes with my Duckie? I will kill you first, before Cinderella even gets anywhere near you. You will not treat my Duckie with anything but complete and total respect. Do you hear me? I have no idea why she wants to marry a moron like you, except to have us as fathers-in-law.”

Puppy pulled Byong’s hair again, “If this is what you are planning, we will make Duckie sleep with us.”

Next to us, Duckie groaned, “If that is the case, I will not get any sleep at all. From what I hear, you both are at it every night. And, even during the day. Appa you were till Sehun oppa gave you a shirt to wear.”

Minho tried to stifle his chuckle but failed. His eyes danced merrily as he spoke with fingers still covering his mouth, “When I entered the room, both were .”

“And that fed your erted fantasies?” Byong winked at the older man who turned red again and subsided into silence.

“Hush Byongie! We are diverting from the topic,” Minx admonished her brother and poked Minho’s cheek again. “What is wrong with Eunha unnie?”

“Have you seen her? Always dressed in business suits and hair in a bun. She is so uptight,” Minho made a face as he swatted at Minx’s hand.

“I have seen her. The question is have you seen her when you were with your grandchildren in the kiddie pool? She was not dressed for work then,” Minx teased Minho who had the grace to blush. All of us noted his pinkening face with great interest.

Duckie took advantage of it, “Uncle, you cannot expect unnie to dress ily for work. With her figure, no one will take her seriously. Did you see how slim her waist is? I wish I had one like that. I am sure I am two sizes bigger than her.”

Byongie moved his hand to rub Duckie’s leg, “Sweetheart, don’t you dare try to slim down. I love every bit of you just the way it is. You are gorgeous. You are stunning. You are just wow!”

Sehun frowned at his brother-in-law for diverting from the topic again, “Minnie, don’t force uncle on noona. He is double her age.” He paused for effect, knowing how competitive Minho was. “I have a better candidate for her. Kiwoo hyung.”

“But Hunnie, I want to set up Kiwoo oppa with Jae-Mizui,” Minx took a little more time to understand Sehun’s point.

“Jae-Mizui has decided to have a short fling with Harry uncle,” Duckie informed us. “That leaves Kiwoo oppa all free for Eunha unnie. And they are quite compatible age-wise.”

Minho interrupted with a meek voice, “There is nothing wrong in being older.”

“You are so right,” Minx smiled at Minho. “Unnie is a few years older to Kiwoo oppa. But like you said there is nothing wrong in that.”

Minho frowned a little when Minx misunderstood him. “I meant me being older than Eunha-ssi. There is nothing wrong in that. She is a mature, intelligent woman who loves living in Daegu. She will not want to move to New York with Kiwoo,” Minho explained with complete seriousness. His eyes confidently moving from one young face to another.

“No, it will be Kiwoo oppa only for Eunha unnie. She needs a good man in her life. One who will appreciate her presence in his life and have babies with her. She adores children. Do you see how good she is with them? She needs a few of her own and her body clock is ticking. Kiwoo oppa and unnie will have beautiful babies together,” Minx smiled placidly at Minho and then turned to her husband to squeal in excitement. “Hunnie, I am going to be an aunt this year. Chen and Ren are already there. Let me rephrase. I am going to an aunt again this year. I am so excited. Let’s go and tell umma about it.”

Sehun grinned knowingly at his wife and wrapped his arm around her waist as she got up to run to his mother’s room. He pulled her to sit in his lap, “Hold your horses, Minnie. Let them fall in love and marry first. Umma will be very upset if they have a baby out of wedlock.”

Minho cleared his throat to get our attention. When he had it, he spoke hesitantly, “Kiwoo is a very serious young man. Eunha-ssi is equally serious. Both will have a very boring life. Don’t you think so?”

Byong laughed and winked at Sehun, “Don’t worry uncle. I will learn from you and tell Kiwoo hyung about it.”

Minho snorted and addressed Minx with more confidence, “What you do mean, Minx, about ‘a good man’? Are you implying I am not one?”

Minx and Duckie giggled. It was Duckie who answered, “Why don’t you tell us, uncle, if you are one or not? We know what you are. It’s to Eunha unnie you have to prove you are one. Minx unnie has her heart set on getting Kiwoo oppa engaged before he leaves for New York this time. You just said that she is uptight and you don’t want us fixing you up with anyone.”

Minho looked at each young face before he stopped to look steadily at Minx, “I thought you wanted to get rid of me. Kiwoo is all wrong for Eunha-ssi.”

Minx grinned at him, “And you think you are right for her?” He quickly nodded in agreement, then shook his head in negative, and then nodded again. He pouted when the kids began to laugh at his response. He looked a little fearfully at Puppy and me to gauge our reaction. We stared back at him expressionlessly. He shook his head again. And pouted even more.

Puppy stared hard at him, “Minho, I hope you are aware that Eunha is my assistant since last night. I will not allow you to trifle with her. You said she is too uptight for you. And, you don’t want to be fixed with anyone. Where is the problem now?”

Minho gulped and looked at his hands. His response was barely audible, “I like talking to her. She is as knowledgeable as Jinki. She is very good and patient with children. She has a very nice figure but she wears these business suits all the time. Of course, she is working here also. It’s understandable.” He looked up to glare at me, “Why don’t you give her time off to relax and enjoy like all the other guests? She is a human being, not a robot. Why is it work, work, work all the time? Why are you mean Jinki to her?”

I really couldn’t help laughing at his words. He really was our best source of entertainment. Kids had hit upon the perfect way to get him interested in Eunha. I told Minx, “Set up Eunha with Kiwoo. Minho does not want to be fixed with anyone. And our gentle Eunha is not for a ert like him. He also thinks I am mean. And, here I wanted to pair him with my ex-assistant. Let me be really mean now. To pair her with Kiwoo will actually be an act of kindness towards her.”

Minho stood up and approached me to poke his finger hard into my upper arm, “Jinki, you are being mean. You people put me in the worst possible catch-22 situation. I am damned if I said yes and damned anyway because I said no. She is your assistant. You would tear me apart if I said anything different about her. But now you are doing the same, because I said the safest things I could think about her.”

We began laughing at the agitated man. He continued to rant at me without care, “I am not old. I am a mature man of 62. I am in my prime. I am 62, not dead. I am 62, not infertile. I am more successful than Kiwoo. I have my own hospital. I adore children and you meanly kept my only child away from me all of her life. Now that a nice good woman finds me interesting, you evil people want to divert her attention towards another man. He will never appreciate her the way I will. This not fair. You are an evil bunny. Your husband is an evil puppy. Your children are evil too. All of you thrive on torturing poor me. Look how you are laughing. I hope my grandchildren realize how much I have to suffer to be with them.”

When Minho finally paused for breath, we still couldn’t speak because we were too busy rolling in laughter. He pouted and we laughed harder. Sehun took pity on him, “Alright. Stop pouting like a baby. Minnie will set up a lunch date for you with Eunha noona. You better treat her well. Otherwise, ummappa and appa will really kill you.”

Minho punched his hands in the air in victory and beamed at Sehun. He appealed to the soon-to-be-groom, “Byong, be a sweetheart and loan me a cool jacket for a few hours. I have formal clothes only. I don’t want to look like her father.” Oh my god! Minho was hilarious. I looked at Sehun and he understood my silent request.

“Come on, uncle. Byong’s clothes are not for you. You want to look cool, not like a monkey. Noona likes you as you are. You dress well. Why do you want to change into something that is not you? And keep in mind she will dress in business suits most of the time. It’s her job to do so. If you cannot accept her as she is, then let her go. She deserves a man who can love her for what she is, without wanting to change anything about her. Is it possible for you? Not want to change her to suit you?”

Minho nodded and his eyes twinkled with mischief, “I know what you mean. I should not probe about her ual inclinations. And, I should not ask her to have babies with me on the first date.”

Puppy and I choked on our laughter and stared at him. It was his turn to laugh at us.