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76. WEIRDER? - (BYONG’S WEDDING – 13)

Just as Puppy was putting his phone down, our room door opened and in ran the triplets and twins. Eunha knocked on the now wide-open door before entering the room after the kids. She was followed by Suzy. Not bothering with the sleeping man, the five climbed on our bed and all over us. Unmindful of Puppy’s bare chest, Ren and Chen immediately climbed into his lap, somehow managing to make space for themselves on each of his thigh, without pulling Minho’s hair. When Minho snored, all the kids began giggling.

Puppy wrapped his arms around them, bent down and pretended to bite the noses of Chen and Ren, making them laugh more. Jungkook and Taeyong, preferred to push me a little away from Puppy and hugged me from either side. I hugged them tighter, nuzzling my nose in their necks to tickle them. Their sister, Irene, was smarter than them and climbed onto Puppy’s back as soon as her brothers created space between his back and my chest. He started to rock his upper body, side to side, just the way Irene loved, as she clung to his neck.

The triplets chattered about their day’s plans. Chen and Ren parroted a few words they’d learned. Ren’s long hair was done up in red clips and he was wearing a red frilly dress with white warm tights, red socks and white patent leather boots. Chen was also dressed in red and white, but in boy’s overalls. I watched over Puppy’s shoulder as Ren sat like a little lady on Puppy’s thigh and batted his eyes at him. Chen had plastered himself to Puppy’s chest, his fingers playfully grabbing at Irene’s hair.

Eunha and Suzy had stopped short just inside the room, their eyes widening and moving over the three of us – me in my pajamas, Puppy with his bare chest and Minho sleeping on Puppy’s thigh. Oh yes, it was the perfect opportunity to extract Eunha from the silent crush she was developing over Minho. She deserved more love than he was capable of giving her.

“Stop staring at us like toads,” I called their attention to me. When they looked at me, I winked, “I know my Puppy is looking very hot. Stop drooling at him.” Both women blushed and looked at each other and then around the room, anywhere but at the three of us on the bed. Puppy glanced at them and then laughed.

“Harabeoji, he is not hot. I am touching him and I don’t feel any difference,” Irene turned to look at me and touched my chest to check my body temperature and compare with Puppy’s.

Jungkook and Taeyong began chanting, “Hot harabeoji, hot harabeoji, hot harabeoji!”

That got Chen and Ren’s attention and they began imitating with, “Hot, hot, hot!” Irene continued to check our temperatures and remained puzzled.

Puppy and I laughed when Eunha and Suzy blushed even more. Minho answered the kids’ chants with a squirm and snore. Both women looked at him and then quickly away. Eunha, who was more used to our weirdness, stared at the wall as she addressed us, “We are sorry to disturb you. But the kids insisted on meeting you after their breakfast. Suzy was helping me because I couldn’t find Minho-ssi.”

Puppy nodded and grinned, “Did you get any rest? You were up all night with us. As you can see, our old man Minho couldn’t keep himself awake any longer.” Minho added substance to Puppy’s words by giving another soft snore. This time even the ladies couldn’t stop their giggles.

“We are planning to catch some shut eye once the kids settled with their baby sitters,” Suzy managed to control her giggles long enough to explain.

Taeyong in the meantime had spied the special marzipan lollipops on our bedside table. He made a grab for the sweet treats and that made all the kids shout loudly for Taeyong to give them one as well. I made a grab for the tissues and handed some to Puppy as well. He tucked in tissues around the neck of Chen and Ren’s clothes, to catch any sticky drools.

With the kids silent and busy for a few minutes, I pressed Puppy with my knees to make him pay attention to my conversation with my ex-assistant, “Eunha, what did you think we were doing with Minho in our room?” Puppy’s new assistant blushed red and refused to answer. I chuckled and more, “Come on, come on. Don’t be shy.”

Eunha shook her head in response and stared again at the wall. Puppy understood what I was up to and baldly informed, “Minho is a ert and has major trust issues regarding his life partners. He will end up hurting you.”

Eunha didn’t move her eyes from the wall as she defended the object of her affections, “Umm, no offense to your judgment, but he looks too innocent to be a ert of any kind.” When I looked steadily at her, she backtracked, “Umm, may be a little bit. Since he was married to you at one point of time. But in the past few days of our interaction, I found him to be very well behaved, polite and free of any ersions.”

We couldn’t help laughing on hearing her consider Minho ‘free of ersions’. I looked at Minho, sleeping like a log and in all honesty I had to agree with Eunha that he did resemble an innocent baby at that moment. Puppy teased his new assistant more, “He is hankering after a married man, my husband. If that is not ersion, I would like to know what is.”

“Well, he was married to Jinki-ssi for many years. What do you expect him to do? He is single after all,” Suzy added her opinion. She had worked exclusively with Heechul and my best friend seemed to have rubbed off on her.

“Touché!” Puppy crowed and again his fingers gently combed through the snoring man’s hair. Minho sighed in his sleep and smiled before giving another soft snore. I tried to stifle my laughter by hiding my face in Irene’s back. Puppy ignored my loss of control and looked at the women, “He is single and that makes it alright for him to ask me to let him touch my husband? What does it say about his perception of marital vows and fidelity?”

Both women sighed deeply and became thoughtful. It was Eunha who responded softly, “Minho-ssi must really love him. I have not seen him misbehaving in anyway with Jinki-ssi, not even to flirt. You two are really weird. Maybe he thinks he can get you to go give him permission.” She turned red again with her last sentence.

Suzy looked at us and touched the heart of the matter, “Why are you quizzing us about him? Are you trying to set us up with him? Don’t bother, because I am not interested in a man whose mind and heart do not belong to me completely. It will hurt me to see my man look at another man with desire. No, don’t bother to explain. I have observed the way he looks at Jinki-ssi. And desire is the only word that defines it.”

Eunha again defended Minho, “He is lonely Suzy. He is surrounded by all these happy couples who are constantly proclaiming their love for each other. He tries to hide his loneliness by concentrating on the children, but does not always succeed. I can see the regret for his past when he looks at Jinki-ssi.” When Suzy shook her head in disagreement, Eunha elaborated more about her observations.

“I have spent a lot of time with him in the past few days. We both know Jae-Mizui has been trying her best to catch his attention. And we also know she did not manage to do it. He is not a playboy. When he thinks no one is watching him, his happy smile slips and he becomes wistful. All he wants is someone to love him. And he naturally looks at the person who did love him at one time. Maybe he regrets losing that love. Maybe he just wants to feel that he is also worthy of love. Not the love of friends, children and grandchildren. But, love for him as a man, as a person who also deserves to be loved single-mindedly. Don’t be too harsh in your judgment, Suzy.”

When only the squeals and chatter of the children were audible in the room, Eunha flushed in embarrassment and pursed her lips to silence her passionate defense of Minho. Puppy and I had similar looks of happiness on our faces. Our doubts were laid to rest and we were sure we had found the perfect life partner for Minho. Now, all we had to do was make Minho see Eunha as one he could love and be happy with.

“Ummappa, do you know where Minho appa is?” Minx’s loud question preceded her actual presence in our room.

Puppy murmured, “Think of the devil and the devil appears.”

“I am not a devil, appa. Stop calling me one. You have five parrots in your room who will begin to call me the same,” Minx quickly strode to Puppy and poked his shoulder in retaliation. “And what are you doing in bed, sandwiched between ummappa and Minho appa? Are you being a naughty boy again? Don’t move a muscle.” Minx spoke non-stop and took out her phone snap a picture of the three of us.

“With your three brats and Amber’s two in the same bed with us, what do you think we are doing? Don’t forget the two statues standing behind you,” Puppy winked at our daughter.

I just managed to mumble, “Maybe Sehun has succeeded in rattling her brains.”

Puppy immediately protested, “Yeobo, she is still my babygirl. I don’t want to know what Sehun does or does not do.”

Minx’s only response was to laugh and poke Puppy harder, “Stop being a pair of erts. Now I am really curious. What you are doing in bed with Minho appa sleeping in your lap? At least show some shame for the two ladies in the room.”

“Glad to note you don’t count yourself as a lady. You are too evil to be one,” Puppy turned his head and bit her lower arm. “Yuck! You taste awful.”

“Get your vampire teeth off my arm appa and stop dodging my questions,” Minx berated her father before putting the phone to her ear. Without even a hello, she commanded to the responder, “Come to ummappa’s room. You won’t want to miss this. Bring the bride and groom also.”

I sighed and requested my ex-assistant, “Eunha, please take the kids to their baby sitters and then both of you get some sleep. We will meet for lunch.” Eunha and Suzy had the kids out of the room in a few seconds, all too glad to escape Minx’s sharp observations. They left and our room was invaded by Sehun, Byong and Duckie. All running and colliding with each other at their sudden halt on seeing the three of us in bed.

“I knew it. They do have threesomes,” Byong was the first of the new invaders to speak.

“What nonsense Byongie. Ummappa and appa will never cheat on each other. Don’t fill Duckie’s head with your ersity,” Sehun contradicted. We beamed at him. Our Sunshine knew us well.

Duckie had other concerns, “Quick, we must hide Minho uncle before umma finds them like this. He will single-handedly chop uncle into tiny pieces and feed them to the fishes in the sea.”

We laughed softly at her correct summarization of Heechul’s reaction. Minho, amazingly, continued to sleep through the commotion. He even gave another snore to welcome the newcomers.

Byong stopped laughing long enough to speak, “Their must have been really boring for uncle to sleep off in between. Or maybe they worked him too hard.”

Having grown used to Byong’s erse teasing, Puppy simply clucked his tongue at our son, “You have so little faith in our skills. We should cancel your honeymoon suite in Daegu for punishment.”

Our shameless boy threatened us right back, “Go ahead appa. Be my guest. The moment he hears screams from our room, imobu-harabeoji will book us one.”

“Moron, we need to check our room for cameras. I don’t trust Joongie and his gang to not place a few. He did threaten us for ratting him out two years ago,” Duckie worried about her mischievous young brothers-in-law.

Sehun was steadily looking at us, “How come Minho uncle is sleeping in appa’s lap? Want Byongie and me to move him back to his room?”

“Nah, it’s okay. He came to talk to us and fell asleep. Remember none of us got to sleep last night. Why don’t you sit down? Now that you are here, we want to discuss something with you,” Puppy smiled at our son-in-law.

“Sunshine, first get a tee from the wardrobe,” I requested Sehun who quickly found one and gave it to Puppy to wear.

When he was dressed and presentable again, Puppy smiled at the four eager faces gracing the chairs in our room. I put my chin on his shoulder as he spoke what was on both our minds, “We need to make Minho see Eunha as a potential wife. She is in love with him.”

Minx spoke before anyone else, “And having her see him sleeping in your lap while you are in ummappa’s arms is the perfect way to make her believe he is husband material? She will definitely want to marry him now.” Her sarcasm made the other three grin.

“That’s how we know she has fallen in love with this sleeping idiot,” I grimaced at my ex-assistant’s taste in men. “She enumerated his virtues to us and Suzy.”

Minx snorted and then softened when her father turned his puppy eyes at her, “Babygirl help us. I don’t want him asking again for private time with your ummappa. You love your appa, right? You will help him get rid of this intruder in our marriage, right? You will make sure that no one touches your ummappa but your appa, right?”

Byong began laughing loudly and rolled off his chair. It was several minutes before he had calmed down enough to speak from his new position on the floor, “Appa you do realize that noona calls Minho uncle ‘appa’? So, even if it’s him, it’s her appa only who touches her ummappa.” At Byong’s version of Puppy’s words, all of us couldn’t help indulging in teasing muffled laughter. Puppy could only gape at our son speechlessly.

When I had some control over my voice, I put my forehead on my pouting Puppy’s shoulder and whispered, “You are the best, jagi.” Puppy gave a soft mewl of acceptance. Our son had found a way to silence his father. Puppy rubbed my knees to help ease his embarrassment.

“Are you very sure you want us to set up Minho uncle with Eunha unnie? I thought appa had plans to invite him to stay with us at our home? I am still not sure whether that was to ease his loneliness or tease it even more,” Duckie winked at us.

I wrapped my arms around Puppy’s middle and moulded my chest over his back again. “Don’t tease your appa. He does not have any ulterior motives where Minho is concerned. I think the idiot has made a place in your appa’s heart. He is genuinely worried about Minho living alone and having no one around, should there be any problem. The only reason Minho is not already occupying a room permanently in our home is because he also cares about imo’s dislike for Minho.” Puppy nodded and kissed my cheek before giving me his blinding smile. His fingers continued to gently comb through the Minho’s hair as the older man slept peacefully, not knowing his entire future was getting decided while he snored.

Duckie cautioned us about her parents, “Ummappa, you do know that umma and appa will freak out on hearing this. Not to mention Beagle gomobu. I have no idea what Minho uncle did when he was married to you. But, it must be have been something horrible to make them so angry with him. I have never been able to understand why appa does not react the same as them?” She always questioned Puppy’s acceptance of Minho in our lives. Her eyes followed Puppy’s fingers moving in Minho’s hair.

“Whatever he did, baby, he has paid the price for it. He lost Jinki and Minx, forever. Is there any bigger punishment than to see them as mine all the time?” Puppy smiled at Duckie.

“And now you want him to marry Eunha noona?” Sehun brought the discussion to its original point. “What if he hurts her? Are you sure he is the right man for her? He keeps saying he loves only ummappa?”

“That’s where all of you come in,” I smiled at them. “You think of a way to bring them together. If you can make Minho see Eunha in a different light here, we would have achieved half the goal. The rest we can work on in Daegu.”

The four of them began throwing around ideas rapidly.

“Dates.”

“Lots of them.”

“Movies.”

“Meals alone.”

“Activities for just the two of them.”

“Get him interested in her and then make him jealous by showing another man is interested in her as well.”

“Get the kids to make them kiss each other.”

“Make Eunha unnie dress ily.”

“No, that won’t work. He has to fall in love with the person she actually is.”

“Get them drunk and lock them in a room together.”

“No Byongie, we are talking about love not lust.”

“Hyung, they are two sides of the same coin. You should know that better than me.”

“Make it appear unnie is in danger and uncle saves her and becomes her hero.”

“She is already in love with him. Why should it always be damsel in distress? Let her be his hero, unnie.”

“Hmmm you have a point Duckie. Should we throw him into the deep end of the pool?”

“He is a good swimmer Minnie.”

“Hire goons to attack him.”

“We are in Jeju Island, Byongie.”

“Hit him on the head and make him lose his past memories. Let unnie nurse him back to health.”

“Can we risk a head injury? What if he thinks he is still married to ummappa? Minnie, it will be too dangerous.”

“Hunnie, make her sick and make him nurse her back to health.”

“I still say we lock them drunk in a room and poke holes in all the condoms.”

“Byongie, we want him to love her, not make her pregnant.”

“Can he make her pregnant? He is 62 after all.”

“Oh yes, he can my dear brother-in-law. He is 62, not infertile.”

“Unnie, you will have more brothers and sisters. Congratulations!”

“Thank god! It will make him stop talking about me as his heir.”

“How many do you think they will have hyung?”

“If he is as as the two ies we call our parents, he might keep Eunha noona pregnant all the time till the poor woman divorces him just to have a pregnancy-free year.”

The four of them cracked up in laughter at Sehun’s prediction. Puppy and I stared at them wondering about Minho’s and Eunha’s safety. I whispered indignantly in Puppy’s ear, “Who are they calling ies? We are tame compared to them. Jagi, they are maligning our names.”

“Yeobo, they are our only hope for getting Minho and Eunha together. I am so looking forward to not having him ask for permission to touch you. Why do I miss it already?” Puppy made a face. I snickered because it was difficult to understand whether he was happy or sad about Minho getting over me.

We were a weird family - me, Puppy, our four kids and my ex-husband. We had such a difficult time deciding what to do with our one new source of entertainment, Minho.

Our kids debated Minho’s virility. I nuzzled Puppy’s neck. Puppy nestled deeper into my body while he softly finger-combed Minho’s hair. Minho continue to snore in contentment.

Could we get any weirder?