46. APOLOGY

Next morning, Puppy and I left for the hospital even before day break. Neither of us had slept a wink and couldn’t wait at home anymore. Kibum and Joonmyun were asleep on the chairs in front of the ICU. We let them sleep for a few more minutes while we took an update from the nurse and checked on sleeping Tae who was in a stable condition at that time. There were a slew of tests scheduled for him through out the day.

We finally woke up Kibum and Joonmyun. Once reassured that Tae was sleeping, Kibum allowed us to lead him to the cafeteria. We got tea and sandwiches for Bummie, knowing he wouldn’t eat anything once back home. Joonmyun wanted to take Kibum to their house. Kibum’s parents and both brothers lived together in the same house, which they had converted into three apartments on three floors. Joonmyun spoke on behalf of his father and asked his older brother to go home with him. He wanted even Tae to go home with them once relieved from the hospital.

I looked at Kibum who was sitting next to me, mutely staring into his cup of tea. “Bummie what do you want?” I asked him softly.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and whispered, “I just want Tae hyung to be alright. Hyung, how will I live if anything happens to him? I need him hyung. He can’t leave me.” He tried to wipe his cheeks.

I pulled him into my arms and he began sobbing into my shoulder, “Ssh Bummie. Tae is okay. Nothing is going to happen to him. They will do a lot of tests on him. Poke and pinch him a little. Move him into a VIP room today and then send him home, maybe tomorrow. You will have many long years of life together. Don’t let negative thoughts bring you down.”

Puppy tried his own brand of perking up Kibum, “Tokki, are you sure Tae hyung would want the bill for a VIP room? He would consider it an utter waste of money.”

We smiled at the picture Puppy painted for us. I was certain we were all imagining Tae’s tantrum on finding the VIP room bill and how he would berate us for wasting good money on one day’s hospitalization, even though he had medical insurance.

After ensuring that Kibum had eaten his fill, we wanted to send him home with Joonmyun. But, he wasn’t very comfortable going home to face appa alone.

“Don’t worry hyung, Hyukkie and Amber will be staying at your place for the next few days.” Puppy smiled at Kibum in reassurance.

The relief on Kibum’s face was very obvious. My phone rang. It was Hyukkie to let us know that he and Amber had reached the hospital. They met us in front of the ICU. Tae was still sleeping. After spending a few minutes with him, Kibum left for home with Hyukkie and Amber.

Joonmyun looked at Puppy and me with worry, “Jinki hyung, tell me the truth. Do you really think the home situation will improve?”

We patted his shoulders. Where Minseok was a man of few words, Joonmyun never hesitated to speak his mind to me. Kibum’s brothers were a study in contrast. I thought for a moment before responding, “Don’t think of taking them to your home. I know it looks like the best solution at the moment, but it is not. Tae cannot live without our father. They will patch up their differences. Appa won’t go anywhere leaving Tae and Kai, he is just angry and it will blow over soon. If I know him at all, he’d be coming here any moment now.”

When Joonmyun nodded his understanding, I continued, “Just know that Kibum is my brother too. He has the strength to deal with our father. Hyukkie will stay with them till Tae is home and able to resume normal routine. He won’t leave Bummie alone. What happened yesterday wasn’t right. Once again, I apologize for my father. Please tell your parents also that Bummie is a Lee and there is no question of his leaving our home ever. Things will soon be alright.”

Just then the elevator pinged open and my father emerged. The three of us bowed to him in greeting. He nodded and continued into the ICU wordlessly. Joonmyun took our leave. Puppy and I sat down so that there was a vacant chair next to Puppy.

I had no desire to talk to my father. I was upset, very upset, with both my father and myself. Never since Minho had I lost control over my temper like I had with my father. I wished I had handled the situation with my usual calm. I held Puppy’s hand and his thumb rubbed my palm to soothe my inner turmoil. My father came and sat next to Puppy. He nodded to Puppy’s spoken greeting. I looked out of the window.

Puppy began explaining to my father, “Tae hyung is sleeping due to the effect of sedatives and anti-anxiety medicines. Doctor has advised a lot of tests for today. His blood pressure is normal now and if it remains stable, he’ll be shifted to a private room later in the day.”

My father nodded his understanding but remained silent. I glanced at him to find him glaring at me. I looked out of the window again and tightened my hold on Puppy’s hand. It was clear that my father was still angry with all of us. I gave two hoots for it and worried only about Taemin and Kibum. I messaged Hyukkie to make Kibum sleep for a while and keep him away from appa as much as possible. He responded that imo and uncle were also there and wanted to talk to appa. I showed the message to Puppy who conveyed it to my father. Appa left for home and I began worrying again.

Heechul and Siwon came soon after. While they visited Tae, Kai called Puppy who advised him to stay at home and look after Kibum and keep themselves on their upper level rooms set, as much as possible. But, it turned out Kibum was busy serving breakfast to imo and uncle. I smiled at the info. Kibum was inseparable from the kitchen.

Minx and Sehun called me and I told them to visit in the evening. Sehun explained about the Tae’s health tests to his parents as well. Hyemi noona and Minx insisted on coming to the hospital after lunch. Heechul talked to us for a few minutes and then he wanted to meet Kibum and left soon after, leaving Siwon to keep us company.

Tae woke up when the doctor visited him. After checking his vitals, doctor advised shifting to a private room and we breathed in relief and informed everyone. I called Hyukkie and informed and his voice let me know there was something wrong. He messaged immediately that there were problems at home and he would update me as soon as possible and we shouldn’t worry as he was there to take care of Kibum.

First thing Taemin asked us was information about Kibum and Kai. Puppy and I reassured him that they were safe at home with Hyukkie and Amber. Siwon and Puppy kept Tae smiling with their own brand of humor and jokes. We went with him for his various tests and then supervised his move into a room. Puppy smiled at Tae’s predictable reaction to the VIP room. We teased Tae for his miserliness and promised to pay the bills in case insurance company refused.

DongHae came during lunch and sat through Tae’s complaints about hospital food. Siwon tasted the food and claimed it to be the same as Heechul’s cooking.

“Get used to it Tae as Amber’s cooking is even worse,” DongHae winked at Tae.

“What sort of a daughter have you raised? Do you know how much Kai loves good food?” Tae pouted at DongHae and turned to Puppy, “Puppy call Kitty and ask him to bring his kimchi fried rice for me. The least I deserve for staying in this hospital is good food.”

We simply laughed, “Food is just an excuse. Why don’t you tell the truth? You want your Kitty with you.”

Tae had the grace to blush, “Go away you meanies. I am going to sleep.” He pulled the cover over his face and actually fell asleep in an instant.

Siwon adjusted his bed to a comfortable sleeping position. Imo, uncle, and Soo came just as Siwon and DongHae took their leave. Assured that Tae was in good hands, Puppy and I went to grab something to eat. I called Heechul for an update on Kibum and came to know what had happened at home. We were thankful that it was past lunch time and the cafeteria was almost empty, but we still spoke in low whispers. Puppy and I listened open mouthed as Heechul related what he saw on reaching my parents’ home.

“Jinx, it was the strangest and the saddest thing I have seen,” Heechul said with a hint of tears in his voice. “Key and Kai were prostrated in front of your father and apologizing to him for disrespecting him and promising to never do it again.”

Puppy immediately put his arm around me and kissed my cheek to keep me grounded. He spoke to Heechul, “But hyung, were imo and uncle not able to resolve the dispute? Did appa finally tell them why he is so upset with everyone?”

“This is what was so shocking Puppy. Imo and uncle were sitting next to Jinx’s father and insisted that Key and Kai remain in that position till he considered they had atoned for their attitude towards him.” Heechul’s explanation confused me further.

“Okay Cinder, let me see if I got it correct. My father believes that Kai and Kibum are not showing him proper respect, and imo and uncle agree with him.” I wondered if I had in any way misheard my best friend.

“Yes, Jinx. Hyukkie and I cannot believe it either. According to your father, Kibum and Kai neglect their duties towards him because they are unable to control Taemin whenever Tae has angry words with your father. He says, that makes Kai and Kibum equally disrespectful towards him. But how can your father hold Kibum and Kai responsible?” Heechul was just as confused.

“Didn’t imo and uncle try to make him see reason?” Puppy asked what I couldn’t articulate myself. I put my head on his shoulder, seeking comfort in his solidity from a world that suddenly made no sense.

“Imo believes that there is no harm in giving your elders an apology, and if your father is angry then apologizing to him is the best way to cool him down and get things back to normal quickly.” Heechul tried to make sense of his own words.

“This is absurd Cinder. How can my father believe that Kibum has any control over Tae? How can imo and uncle side with such absurdity?” I didn’t know whether I was hurt or angry.

“Yeobo, I think they just want to placate your father and make it condusive for Tae hyung to return home at the earliest and recover his health without any more emotional storms.” Puppy kissed my hair and rubbed my back. He held the phone in his other hand and spoke to both Heechul and me. “We must trust imo and uncle to know appa better than us.”

“But Puppy how can they condone appa abusing Kibum the way he did? It was wrong, just wrong.” My voice broke as I remembered. “I promised his parents when he got married to Tae. I gave my word that we will always keep Kibum happy in our home. Kibum has his faults, but he has always done what is best for our family. He has taken care of appa better than any of us. He has given his life to our family, and appa abused him. How can imo overlook that?”

“Jinx, I think Puppy is right. The important thing is to calm down your father so Taemin can come home and recover in a tension-free environment. The fact that Kibum and Kai did everything your father wanted shows how much they love Taemin. Let your anger go Jinx. Imo has asked me to tell you to apologize to your father.” Heechul almost went silent as he whispered the last sentence, leaving me totally speechless.

I wrapped both my arms around Puppy’s waist and buried my face in his neck. I mutely shook my head. He pressed his lips to my cheek in an effort to soothe my pain. “What’s Key hyung doing now? Is he resting or not?” Puppy asked Heechul.

“He is sleeping. Hyukkie is with him to make sure he does not leave the bed for the next three or four hours. Amber and I are looking after rest of the things. That is, when Amber is not talking to Kai. We have things under control.” Heechul assured us. “All the kids are going to Hyemi noona’s after school. She and Minx will look after them.”

“Tokki spoke with the doctors during each of Tae hyung’s tests and there was nothing of concern in any of them. Tokki thinks Tae hyung needs to manage his blood pressure with medication, diet and lifestly changes.” Puppy related our side of the morning to Heechul.

I brought Puppy’s hand near my mouth and spoke into the phone, “Cinder, stay with Bummie. Puppy and I will take care of the hospital. Tell Kai to keep calm and his temper under control.”

“Try not to worry too much Jinx,” Heechul advised as he ended the call.

Puppy kissed me softly to get my emotions under control, and noticing that there was no one else around, I let him distract me from my worries. Even though I had lost my appetite after talking to Heechul, Puppy coaxed me into eating to keep up my strength.

“Yeobo, have faith in imo and uncle. If giving an apology will calm down your father’s anger, then do it.” Puppy advised as he fed me another mouthful of rice.

“It’s not the apology that I am against jagi. It’s what my father will make of it. I know I was wrong in the manner in which I spoke with him. He is my father, my elder, and I should not have spoken to him in such a disrespectful way. But what I fought about was not wrong. I am not sorry for speaking up on Kibum’s behalf.” I tried to explain.

“I know yeobo.” Pupply gave me another kiss on the cheek.

“If I apologize, my father is not going to stop his misbehavior. In this, I know him better than imo and uncle. Appa is not going to separate my apology into two parts. My apology will be taken to mean he is right in all aspects, when I don’t feel he is. Maybe imo feels Kibum deserves what he is getting from appa, she has still not forgiven him for not supporting me when I separated from Minho.” I put my head again on Puppy’s shoulder. “I love him jagi. We hit a bad patch in our relationship, but I never stopped loving him.”

“Yeobo, it’s a bad patch in your father’s relationship with them as well. It will blow over. He will forgive them for whatever they have done to make him this angry. Remember, it took many years to even out your differences with him. Don’t throw yourself out of balance with him now. Apologizing to your father will not break you.” Puppy rubbed my shoulder in comfort. “Think of the example we are setting for the children. He is your father. He deserves an apology for your harsh words, irrespective of the reason or logic behind them.”

“But,” I just couldn’t let it go.

“No buts yeobo. Think how bad you’d feel if Minx or Byong talked to you in a similar manner.” Puppy kissed my hair to soften his words. When I remained silent, he added, “For my sake. Please yeobo.”

“Jagi,” I whined. “You are blackmailing me. You know how much I hate being blackmailed.”

Puppy grinned at my pout, “I am loving you. I know how much you adore being loved by me.”

With a deep sigh I gave in, “Fine. I will apologize to my father, but only to set a good example for our kids. But I want to lodge my formal protest. It is not fair.” I must have looked very put out because Puppy walked his fingers on my knee and began rubbing circles inching up on my thigh. “Jagi, stop distracting me. Don’t change the topic.”

Puppy gave me his most innocent look, “But yeobo, I like topic changes. Why don’t you try as well?” He picked up my hand and put it on his inner thigh. He coolly returned to his circle tracing on my pants as I stared at him in wonder.

After a few minutes of topic change, I realized that I would tender an apology to anyone in the world. What with my crazy Puppy by my side, being my perfect better half.