17. BORED

Everyone was up and about very early on Saturday morning. Ji and I prepared breakfast and packed sandwiches for the journey. The first night stop for the group was Sydney. It was planned for them to take the Grand Pacific Drive to reach Sydney and stop at many places on the way. They would pass through heritage towns and villages and stop on the way for a whale and dolphin watching tour into the sea.

Jjong and I expected them to reach Sydney by evening only and begin their tour of the city the next day. We’d booked everyone at a hotel near Sydney Opera House. For the next two days city tours would be taken to visit all the good places like the Sydney Opera House, Darling Harbour, Aquarium, Sydney Harbour Bridge, Sydney Tower and Skywalk, historical The Rock and even a helicopter view of the whole city.

I asked Heechul to record Kibum when they visited Sydney Tower and Skywalk and his reactions to the choppers. I could just imagine his screams and the scenes in my mind made me break out in laughter. Kibum was curious and when I told him the reason for my glee he crossed his eyes and poked his tongue out at me.

Byong, Minx and Sehun hugged Jjong and me for at least five minutes, may be longer. Only Kibum’s crossed eyes kept us from shedding tears. When the bus had departed, we wondered what to do that day. It was the weekend and there was nothing planned with Jjong’s team. In fact most members were going to do their own sightseeing.

Jjong, I, Beagle, Ji, Kris and Luhan went on our own trips. We gave William off and drove to Snowy Mountain region. We saw the sign for mountain biking at one place and stopped immediately. We rented three bikes and decided to take in the region on the motorbikes.

Ji sat behind Chan Yeol who was warned by Jjong to keep within speed limits and not wander off anywhere alone. Kris and Luhan decided to share their biking time and I sat behind Jjong holding him tight. The air was frigid as we toured the area on bikes, following mountain trails as pointed to us on a map at the rental shop. It was a wonderful experience but we were chilled by the time we returned to our van in the evening.

At home we made plans for the next day as Ji and I cooked a simple dinner. With everyone helping it didn’t take long. We decided to rent bikes in the city itself and visit the Yarrangobilly Caves on Sunday.

The van was driven by Kris to go back to the hotel. We left Ji to watch tv and went to our room. Before settling in bed, we spoke to our children for a few minutes. They were excited about the trip they had taken that day and chattered on about various sights and places.

Byong was excited about the whales he saw and Minx talked about Nan Tien Temple which she told me was the biggest Buddhist temple in southern hemisphere. When we had spoken with everyone, we ended the call with a lighter mind.

Next day we went to the caves on rented bikes. I teased Jjong and reminded him about how badly he’d wanted my arms around him during our initial days of friendship. Smiling to myself, I wrapped my arms tight around him and molded my chest to his back. I used the bike ride to slowly tease my Puppy.

In the Yarrangobilly Caves, we travelled down into the earth and encountered frozen waterfalls. Ji took a lot of photographs for imo. Jjong held me back and when everyone had wandered ahead, he kissed me deep and bit my lips.

“This is for teasing me yeobo.” He whispered as he kissed me again and again. We broke apart only when we heard voices. Grinning we held hands and ran to catch up with others.

We also saw limestone caves and underground pools of water. Jjong kept kissing me throughout the day. Every time we lagged behind, Kris and Luhan inspected my face and grinned at my red swollen lips. I ignored their winks.

We explored all day long and returned the bikes at night fall. Luhan wanted to go to a club but was reminded of the early start next morning. We agreed to visit Australian clubs next Friday. We spoke to our family and Ji went to sleep instead of watching tv.

On Monday morning, we dropped Jjong to the hotel and had breakfast at the hotel with his team. Ji sat with Beagle while Jjong and I mingled around. We shopped for dinner on the way and then sat down to do our own work. I managed the hagwons while Ji did her office work.

After a simple lunch, we wondered what to do with the rest of our day. Sam came after lunch as we didn’t need her from morning anymore. We downloaded ebooks on our tablets and sat down to catch up on reading. I gave up after some time and decided to make kimchi for the days ahead.

After putting dinner for cooking which Sam could finish easily by then, Ji and I relaxed in the Jacuzzi for sometime, singing silly songs. I missed my babies. It was one of the most boring days of my life. When time wouldn’t pass, we went with William to pick up Jjong and our guests.

The evening passed quickly after that. The joviality of the company kept us and our guests entertained. It was late night when everyone departed including Beagle. We caught up with the kids about their Sydney trip and laughed when they related Kibum’s reactions to Sydney Tower.

When we finally settled in bed, I whined, “Jagi I was bored out of my mind today. There was absolutely nothing to do after lunch.”

Puppy paused in his kisses down my neck and looked at me closely for a long minute before speaking, “Why don’t you write a book?”

“What? I don’t think I can write. Even if I tried, I won’t know what topic to write on.” I pulled him up in my arms to have a serious discussion. I knew I would go stir crazy if the day was any example.

“Seduction, or art of loving, or how to keep your partner happy for the rest of his or her life. There are so many topics you can write on yeobo.” He softly kissed me.

“Who’s going to read such a book by a gay man?” I had my age old argument ready.

“Just write it first then worry about readers.” He suggested.

“So many things are private between the two of us jagi. I don’t want to write about them. Whatever I write everyone will wonder if we both are doing the same. I don’t want that speculation.” I sighed as he nuzzled my jaw.

“How about your life? You’ve led an interesting one.” He placed soft bites under my jaw.

“That might bring back bad memories.” I raised my chin to give him access to more skin.

“Don’t you know that writing is cathartic? It is used globally as emotional release. Maybe that’s what you need to get rid of your bad memories once and for all. Put them down in words.” Puppy stopped biting and looked me straight in the eyes.

I looked back with uncertain eyes.

“And yeobo I am here to help you out when you have difficult time with your memories. Together we will make them go away forever.” He was very serious about it.

“I don’t know, let me try. But I wouldn’t want to publish it.” I smiled at him.

“Don’t publish it. Just let me read it.” He began kissing my neck again.

“Hmmm. Love you jagi.” I pulled him up to kiss him deeply. There was no longer any need for words between us.

Next day after lunch Ji sat down to read and I opened my laptop. I did a research on cathartic writing and then sat lost in thoughts for a few minutes before typing out my first words.

‘Bash his face in. Kill him.’

After that words kept flowing out from my mind into the word document through my fingertips. Before I realized, I had written six pages. I read them through and edited the mistakes. Then arranged them in four chapters, thought for a moment before saving the document as ‘Yours Forever’ and sat back to just stare at my laptop.

“What are you doing oppa to bring such a frown on your face?” Ji called out on her way to the kitchen.

“An experiment for Puppy,” I answered in a subdued voice. “Sam please prepare a sweet tea for me.”

“I don’t think you should do this experiment. It has made you sad oppa.” Ji sat down next to me and tried to look at my laptop’s screen.

I closed the document and shut down the system before she could see anything. I tried to smile at her but failed. “A few days Ji. Can’t give up on the very first day.”

Ji looked uncertainly at me. I managed a small smile and suggested, “How about relaxing in the Jacuzzi again?”

We changed into our swim wear and I took my tea along with me. Thirty minutes in the hot water and I felt much better and my smile was much easier. We dressed and our evening was a repeat of the previous day.

Once we were in our bedroom for the night, I brought my laptop into the bed, opened the document and put it on Puppy’s chest. He spread out one arm for me to lie on and began reading silently. I put my face in his neck, inhaling his warm scent to keep me grounded. He read the document twice before shutting down the laptop and turning to face me.

“Thank you, yeobo, for giving me this insight into your past. I can see why you were so reluctant to put it in words. How do you feel?” Puppy looked as upset as I had felt after writing it.

“I don’t know. I think I am sort of numb. I am surprised by the clarity of my memories. It’s as if all of it happened yesterday instead of 13 years ago.” I whispered, rubbing my hands on his back to soothe him.

“I won’t fail you. I won’t let you fall. Don’t write anymore. I cannot bear to read your pain.” Puppy hugged me tight and whispered in my hair.

“I know you are there to hold me and ease all the pain. Strangely, now that I have begun, I want to write more. I don’t know what I will write tomorrow, but I know that I want to write. I want you to know. It was surprisingly easy to write coherently.” I kept rubbing his back to calm him.

After a few silent minutes, he loosened his hold and looked into my eyes. I smiled and whispered, “Kiss me. Show me how much you love me. This is my life, you and me. I am happy jagi. You make me happy. Very happy.”

“I love you yeobo. I will always love you.” He didn’t get a chance to say more as I began kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

There was a wildness to our loving that night. We reinforced our bond with our bodies. Puppy was insatiable in his need to love me and I welcomed his every touch.

Just as we fell asleep, a small part of my brain wondered how Puppy would react to my happy times with Minho.