48. NORMAL LUNATIC WAYS

As Taemin slept off for the night, Sehun came to pick up Minx so they could return home. He informed us that Kibum was fast asleep and was almost normal during the dinner. Appa was trying to act normal around Kibum. Because Kibum had slept off immediately after dinner, Amber prepared coffee for everyone. Sehun put another antacid tablet in his mouth as he swore off eating or drinking anything prepared by Amber. According to him, even my father had developed a new appreciation for Kibum after drinking Amber’s coffee.

“Minnie I am so glad you know how to cook delicious food.” Sehun proclaimed dramatically, kissing his wife on both her cheeks and making her flush with happiness. “But I am confused why little Joongie was helping you in the kitchen today?”

Minx began laughing at that question. At six years, Jaejoong was the youngest of the kids that Minx looked after that day. “You won’t believe it Hunnie. Joongie wants to be a chef when he grows up. And guess what?” Minx paused for effect and rolled her eyes comically. “He wants to be an umma.”

“What?” Puppy and I exclaimed together. Sehun was unaffected by Minx’s announcement.

“Minnie, chef I can understand. But umma? How is our Joongie going to manage that?” Sehun wondered.

“You know he idolizes Key umma. Use your brain Hunnie. I really pity his future partner. He will drive her or him loony with his antics.” Minx softly laughed.

“And what does Junsu want?” Puppy asked her. At eight years of age, Junsu was the more sober of Soo’s two sons.

Minx continued to laugh, “Ah appa. This is hilarious. Our little Suie wants his neighbor to become his boyfriend. He must take after Sehun.”

“By that age, I already knew I wanted my neighbor to become my wife.” Sehun’s protest was ignored by us as we concentrated on Junsu’s young love life.

“Which one, Minx? If I remember right he has three boys living next door to him who regularly visit his home? But, I can’t remember their names.” I was really curious. Minx and Sehun were always a good source of information on what the other kids were thinking or doing.

“At least you remembered Suie has three neighbours who he could possibly be interested in. You didn’t even know Sehun was your neighbor till we pointed it out.” Puppy poked my cheek teasingly.

Sehun scrunched up his face once again and caught my shoulders to shake me hard, “Ummappa how could you not know about me? I played with Minnie from the time you came to live in imo-halmeoni’s house.”

“Sehun, I still don’t know half our neighbors.” I defended myself and quickly changed the topic, “So which one is it that has caught our little Suie’s eye?”

“Oh yes Minnie. Changmin is too young and only cares for food. But, his older brother Yunho may be the right age. And on the other side lives Yoochun who always tags behind Yunho. I can’t imagine our Suie getting interested in any of the three.” Sehun his chin as he mused about Junsu’s love interest.

“He is only eight. There is no way Soo would allow him to have a boyfriend.” I tried to understand the new generation.

“Ummappa you know Suie is a daydreamer. He doesn’t need unnie’s permission to imagine he has a boyfriend,” Minx giggled. “If he wants one, his mind conjures one for him. He is quite capable of having an in-depth relationship with his supposed boyfriend in his mind, without uttering a word about it to the concerned boy in reality.”

“So, who is it?” Puppy asked impatiently.

“Yoochun,” Minx giggled more as she announced.

“But I think that boy is more interested in his other neighbor - Yunho. Does Soo noona know about this?” Sehun cut to the chase as he settled near us on the couch with Minx on his lap.

“Hunnie, the entire relationship is in his mind,” Minx poked Sehun’s temple as she explained. “It does not matter whether Yoochun returns his interest. Junsu considers him his boyfriend.”

“What about Byong and Duckie?” My curiosity was peaked. Minx appeared to have spent a very fruitful afternoon with the kids.

“Duckie was not very happy today. Byong spent the entire afternoon messaging his chemistry project partner,” Minx related with a serious tone.

“Oh, Cinder will be upset if he comes to know. He has his heart set on Byong for his Duckie,” I started worrying about Heechul.

“Not just Hee hyung, even Super will be very upset,” Puppy began fretting about Siwon with me.

“Stop being twin dorks. You did not even wait to hear the whole thing,” Minx snickered at our reactions.

Sehun smirked as if he knew something we didn’t and looked at us slyly before elucidating, “Byong was sending love advice to his project partner who was out on his first date. Duckie was upset because Byong has never taken her on a date and still knew what to advice his friend.”

Puppy and I turned red in embarrassment for jumping to conclusions.

“You both really disappointment me. You have so little faith in your own son. Wait till I tell Byong about this,” Minx wagged her finger at us.

“Oh no, you can’t do that Minx. He will make our life hell at home. We don’t want him to take Duckie on a date as of yet,” Puppy lifted his hand in protest. “Have mercy on your poor appa, you evil girl.”

“They already live in each other’s pockets. Do they really need to date?” Sehun rubbed his nose on Minx’s cheek. “We never went on a date and are still married.” Nose rubbing turned into soft pecks.

“I don’t know what Cinder will do if Byong behaves like Sehun at his age,” I looked at Puppy for support in the new worry. “He could punch Byong, but then he could also jump in joy.”

“I think first they will jump in joy and then remember to punch Byong,” Puppy was more bang on about Heechul and Siwon’s reaction. “Remember, Sehun could only kiss cheeks. Super and Hee hyung have not set any such boundary for Byong.”

“Hmm, so the two can kiss and make out if they want to?” Minx looked upset as she questioned us. “That’s unfair. How come we had to wait for our wedding day to even share a simple kiss?” Sehun pinched her arm to silence her.

“Oh no, they are not going to kiss or make out,” I stared at Puppy in horror at the thought of our little boy making out with our little girl. After all, Jinri had led me once when she was a year old. Not to forget all the diapers Puppy and I had changed when she was born. “Jagi do something. They are only 14 and 13. Too young to even know what ‘making out’ means.”

“Calm down yeobo. We’ll talk to Byong soon. Don’t start overthinking and worrying without a reason,” Puppy wrapped his arm around me to soothe my ruffled feathers. “Have some faith in our boy.”

“I do have faith in him. But, this overgrown pole sitting next to us had wanted kissing rights at 14. What if Byong is already thinking of kissing our innocent Duckie?” My brain began working overtime.

“Ummappa, why can’t it be Duckie who initiates the first kiss? After all, women are equal to men you know,” Minx needled me further.

Before we could utter a word, Sehun rolled his eyes, “Minnie why are you hell bent on making your brother’s life difficult. Geez, why do you want him to suffer like we did?”

“Hunnie, think about it. We were able to marry when you were eighteen. Think sweetie pie.” Minx put her head on Sehun’s shoulder and buried her nose in his neck.

“Have some shame. We are your parents. Do this at home,” Puppy still got riled up at signs of intimacy between the young couple.

Minx leisurely bit Sehun’s neck and then wiggled her brows at Puppy, “Appa you are such a hypocrite. Let me refresh your memory. Do you remember when you began living with us and ummappa was kissing your neck one morning soon after? If you don’t, do you remember my biting your neck?” Our devil continued despite our blushes. “Maybe you’ll remember the time you both slept without shirts for the first time and you told imo-halmeoni that airconditioner was not working. Stop turning red. I have tons of memories of your shamelessness. Do you think I was blind and never noticed the bite marks both of you sported? Wait, wait, make that both of you sport even now. Should I remind you of all the groping you did when I was growing up and the groping you do even now?”

Puppy lifted both his hands in surrender, “Stop, stop. Halt it right there. Have some mercy on your poor appa.”

“We raised a monster,” I groaned as I buried my head in my hands. “Has her brain created a permanent memory of our every indiscretion?”

“Don’t worry, yeobo, she is forgetting she will also become a parent one day. And that generation will be even more advanced. Plus, she is going to have ten kids. Let’s see how they find any time to even kiss after the fourth one,” Puppy patted my hair to relieve my embarrassment. “And just for tonight, we are not going to help her raise her brood.”

“But jagi, you wanted to raise at least one of their kids,” I reminded Puppy through my fingers.

“No way. Not now. At least now I have you all to myself. I don’t want to go through the same embarrassment when our grandkids grow up.” Puppy recovered his balance quicker than me and poked his tongue out at Minx. “Babygirl you have talked yourself out of two very willing babysitters. Good luck bringing up ten kids without our help.”

“Minnie lets go before you rile them further and they ban us from having any kids at all,” Sehun pushed her off his lap and stood up. “Come on, I also have early morning classes to attend and tons of studying to do on reaching home. My general surgery professor is driving me crazy.”

“Sunshine, you can practice by sewing shut ,” I suggested helpfully for which I got poked in the ribs by Minx. I wondered if she’d have been less of a hassle had we called her a calm soothing nickname like Peace or Grace.

She turned to her husband and smiled, “Hunnie try to get free by lunch as we are all meeting at Key umma’s place, if Tae appa gets discharged in time. Umma and I will go there after breakfast to help Key umma cook. I think more the number of people, lesser the chances for harabeoji to get upset again. And Tae appa will recover faster if he remains in good mood.” She looked at us for confirmation.

I nodded, “Yes, the doctor had talked about discharging him tomorrow morning if he continues to remain stable. Take imo and Soo also with you. Discuss with Kibum and check with Cinder and Siwon as well. Now that your grandfather is leaving behind his anger, it will boost Kibum’s self-confidence.”

When the young couple left, Puppy softly kissed me in relief that the day had ended well. Suddenly the door opened and in popped the heads of the young duo.

“See Hunnie, what did I tell you? These two are at it even in the hospital. You owe me a new dress now,” Minx grinned victoriously at her husband.

Sehun pouted at us and huffed, “Appa, ummappa, couldn’t you have waited a few more minutes? I was saving money for her birthday present. Now I will have to begin saving all over again.”

Completely mortified, we were lost for words and turned red once again. The only saving grace was a soft snore from Taemin who mercifully was knocked out for the night, due to medication.

Minx gave us a thumbs-up and pulled her whining husband away from the door. Puppy and I looked at each other and slowly counted till hundred. When the door remained closed, Puppy pulled me into his lap and kissed me softly.

Taemin slept peacefully through the night and was duly discharged the next morning with a strict warning to take medicines regularly. As predicted by Puppy, Tae whined continuously about the hospital bill till we offered to pay it for him. That shut him up about it for good. Leeteuk accompanied us back to my parents’ place. It looked as if the entire clan had collected there minus a few. The kids were in school. DongHae and Siwon were at work and planned to bring Hyukkie’s parents with them for lunch. Sehun’s father was also at work, but wouldn’t get free till evening.

It was organized chaos that welcomed us back. Everyone hugged Taemin. Amber offered to make tea and coffee, but a panicked look from Kibum made Minx suggest that Amber spend more time entertaining Taemin than in the kitchen. Having heard everyone’s feedbacks about her cooking, Taemin safeguarded his tastebuds and pulled Amber to sit by his side.

All the adults had settled down by the time kids arrived from school. Jaejoong made a beeline for Taemin and climbed into his lap. Promptly a half-eaten lollipop was transferred from the little mouth into Tae’s. When his parents glared at him, Joongie gave them a sweet smile that made Kibum coo in adoration and scold the “little angel’s” parents for glaring at him.

Junsu took his time to sedately walk over to Taemin and give him a hug. He then ambled off to hold a whispered conversation with Sehun, seating himself comfortably in the elder’s lap in the corner of the room.

Byong and Duckie were having a stare off as they entered the house. Duckie huffed away from Byong and tried to smile in greeting to Tae. Byong plonked himself next to Tae and began asking him a barrage of questions about the hospital. Duckie stomped off to back hug Minx who kissed her cheek and walked her into the kitchen, most probably to coax out the reason for her bad mood.

Heechul followed them, and soon we heard a loud squawk from the kitchen, “How could you think we’ll allow you to date at your age?”

Puppy and I looked at Byong and he raised his brows the same as me and smiled, “Stop staring at me. I already told her no when she asked me. I don’t want to be killed by Simba appa. I am too young to die.”

A wave of laughter followed his words, just as Duckie stormed out of the kitchen with a furious Heechul trailing after her, “You can’t walk away from me young lady. Stand still and answer me. How could you ask Byong out on a date without first confirming it with us?”

“Stop embarassing me umma,” Duckie hissed. “Didn’t you hear the moron announce to everyone just now that he turned me down? If I keep waiting for him to ask me out, I will be married before going out on even a single date. Leave me alone.” Duckie went to the corner occupied by Sehun and Junsu. She pulled Junsu off Sehun’s lap and placed herself there instead. Sehun promptly wrapped her in a comforting hug and kissed her hair. When Heechul took a step towards them, Sehun discreetly shook his head halting Heechul in his tracks.

Sehun said something to Junsu which had him dashing off into the kitchen with Minx and walking out carefully with a glass of water. Junsu handed the water to Sehun who coaxed Duckie into drinking it. Junsu began rubbing her back with his small hands, making cooing sounds in the process.

I draped my arm around Heechul’s waist and pulled him to sit with us. Kibum sat on his other side and whispered, “There is no harm in their dating. You know Byong then why object Hee hyung?”

“I object to their age. There is no way Simba would agree to send them out alone,” Heechul looked at us with sad eyes. “Why am I the wicked witch in the whole episode?”

Puppy sat on the floor near us and joined in with his own whisper, “Send them out with the two older couples.” He elaborated when Heechul looked at him in confusion, “Kai, Amber, Minx and Sehun. Send them all out together on a triple date. Duckie and Byong can have their romance, while the older four will keep an eye over them.”

Hyukkie stood behind us and gave his two bits, “If you refuse her, you will have a rebellion on your hands. She is just as headstrong as Amber. Save your refusals for intimacy.”

Soo and imo cracked up on hearing that. “Hyukkie you sound exactly like Jinki and Jjong,” Imo said while trying to control her laughter.

Teukkie had his own suggestion, “Ask Chan Yeol to turn the satellites on the dating couple and send you the recording.” Taemin hi-fived with him for his brilliance.

“Make your promises to Byong,” Kai piped up. From his satisfied expression, it was clear he must have been waiting for the day he could utter these words.

“What? You don’t need to promise me anything. I already know about them. I value my life too much to give it up over a girl, even if that girl is my best friend,” Byong waved his hands in the air in protest, violently shaking his head.

Amber glared at all of us, “God, you parents live in the Neolithic age. You did it to Minx first, then me and now you are doing it to Duckie. We are girls of the modern age. We know how to take care of ourselves.”

“Keep silent Amber or I will make you join a culinary school in Seoul,” Kibum warned her with a smile.

An attack on Amber’s cooking had Kai quickly defending his fiancée, “Umma, don’t hurt her feelings. I like her cooking.”

“I like her cooking too. The problem is my stomach that is rebelling against it,” Kibum blew a kiss towards Amber. “I am not going to live forever Kai. She will have to learn to cook one day or both of you will starve after I am gone.”

“We can always hire chefs. I don’t see why my granddaughter-in-law has to suffer in the kitchen,” my mother went to Amber and patted her head in consolation. “Don’t worry Amber, we like your cooking just fine. Last night your grandfather was praising your coffee to me.”

Kibum was shocked at umma’s words. I gently closed his mouth and whispered in his ear, “You will survive Bummie. Hasn’t Siwon thrived all these years on Heechul’s food?” My effort to make Kibum smile earned me a couple of well placed punches from Heechul.

While everyone got busy discussing the merits of various cooks amongst us, my eyes followed Byong as he quietly got up and went to stand by the trio in the corner. I nudged Puppy with my toes to follow my view.

Byong poked Duckie in the cheek and said, “Don’t cry sweetheart. I accept.”

He earned himself a heavy punch in his stomach, “I am not crying moron. I want to see a movie. I don’t want any satellite pointed at us. Chan Yeol gomobu is quite capable of doing it and umma will distribute a copy of the recording to everyone present here as a momento of our first date.”

“Whatever you say, baby. Now be a sweetheart and give me a smile. I don’t like to see you frowning,” I looked in shock as Byong traced a finger tip over Duckie’s lips.

Sehun caught my gaze and smirked. He wiggled his brows and winked. When my eyes opened wider in shock, he took pity on me and smiled in reassurance. Puppy immediately stood up and pulled me into the kitchen, “Don’t misinterpret the gesture, yeobo. Byong was simply trying to make Duckie smile.”

“He is your son jagi. What if he was thinking of kissing her?” I refused to let go of my impression.

“Thinking is not the same as doing yeobo. How many times have I explained this?” Puppy leaned against the kitchen counter and pulled me in his arms with my back to his chest. He put his chin on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “We have raised him well. He will not disappoint us. If you don’t have faith in him, at least have some in your upbringing.”

“What if she kisses him?” After witnessing the events of the day, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the two young ones.

“We’ll make our promises to her in that case,” Puppy chuckled as he suggested our time-tested solution.

“Really you two are the limit. Your son is deciding on his first date and you are cuddling in the kitchen. Shameless creatures,” Uncle’s exasperated voice made us look up.

We grinned at him and did not break apart. After all, we were celebrating the fact that our family was back to its normal lunatic ways.