16. WHAT IFS

I woke up to Jjong’s slow loving. As we lay later in each other’s arms, catching our breath, Jjong kissed my eyes and began his gentle probing.

“Yeobo, it’s been many years since you last got upset about your earlier life. What happened?”

“What if I’d not reached hospital on time and lost Minx that day?”

“But you didn’t yeobo.” He kissed my cheek.

“What if I’d not survived the surgery?”

“But you did yeobo.” He kissed my lips.

“What if I’d stayed with Minho?”

“But you didn’t yeobo.” He kissed my nose.

“What if I’d not met you?”

“But you did yeobo.” He kissed my forehead. “And I’ll forever be thankful for that.”

“I love you jagi.”

“I love you too yeobo.” He kissed my eyes again. “Are your what if’s laid to rest now?”

I kissed his chin.

“We were destined to be together yeobo. We would have found our way to each other sooner or later, somehow. No force on earth or heaven can keep us apart. I breathe as long as you are breathing.” He whispered tightening his arms around me.

“How can you love me so much? Why do you love me so much?” I couldn’t hold back more of my doubts from before.

“How can I not love you yeobo? I can tell you all the reasons till now, and there would still be many more left to discover. Every day I fall in love with you deeper than the day before. I discover new things about you and they make me love you even more. I can ask you the same hows and whys but I already know the answers because of the love I feel for you. It has no definition, no beginning, no end.” He kissed me breathless to drive in his logic.

When I could breathe again I whispered, “Did we do wrong in introducing Beagle to Ji? May be we have overstepped ourselves here.”

“We never invited Beagle with the intention of their liking each other. They naturally gravitated towards one another. Leeteuk hyung and Soo were deliberate, but Ji and Beagle are not. This is not the first time Ji is meeting members of cyber squad. She has met many of them when she attended various events with us and in the course of her working in Uncle’s office. Don’t overthink yeobo.”

“I can’t help it. I am very troubled by Uncle’s words and my reaction to them. Maybe we should make Ji go with them.”

“Yeobo, do you really think Ji and Beagle cannot be trusted? Do you actually doubt our chaperoning skills?”

“Maybe imo and Uncle are right and Beagle is not the right man for Ji. Technically he is still a boy. May be we should nip it in the bud.”

“Look at me yeobo,” I raised my eyes to his at the gentle command. “Why all these doubts? You haven’t been so low in confidence since we fell in love. What’s wrong?”

“I myself don’t know jagi.” I answered very softly, trying to understand my own mood and its reasons.

“Don’t worry I know how to cure your mood.” He winked at me and pulled me on top of him. “All you need to get out of this funk is to love me. What do you say? You game for it or are your old bones creaking already.”

“It’s not my bones but the bed that will be creaking by the time I am finished with you.” I readily accepted his offer.     

We were showering when the door bell rang. Jjong opened it for William and family. Sam and I prepared the dinner while Jjong left with William to check on his team and get our dinner guests. Jjong was right. I was indeed feeling back to my old self after making the bed creak.

We had the dinner nearly cooked by the time everyone arrived back from their trip around Canberra. I saw a lot of shopping bags as well, that meant only one thing. Imo got to fit in her shopping in between sight seeing.

Right on their heels were Jjong and his group. After greeting everyone, Marc and Harold made a beeline for Ji who was quietly talking to Beagle. Chan Yeol was not happy to have two more admirers of Ji join them. He looked at Jjong in panic but Jjong smiled in assurance and signaled to him to sit tight. We knew there was no way imo would ever agree for a non-Korean.

Children were served dinner in the living room and they had it sitting on the floor in traditional Korean style. There was a lot of laughter as they taught Robert and Donald how to sit properly. Both had already become pros at handling chopsticks and eating like Koreans.

Marc and Viktor were presented Korean chopsticks by Heechul who had brought a supply at my request. Over the drinks Harold asked us if there was a possibility of his fourth marriage succeeding if he married a Korean. None of us could stop our snickers at his question. Jjong patted his back and informed him that he might have better luck if he married a guy. Snickers turned into full blown laughter. Harold seriously considered for a moment before joining the laughter and rejecting the suggestion.

With the ice broken, the dinner was a fun-filled affair. Luhan and Kris were like family members and sat with Siwon and Heechul. Taemin and Kibum sat together and kept feeding each other. Kris asked Harold if he’d done the same with any of his ex-wives. Harold kept his good humor.

Jjong and I fed Junsu who was again sitting in my lap. I smiled in reassurance every time Jjong looked at me. After a few glances, I ran my tongue over my lower lip. Jjong’s lips opened and his eyes began to glaze over. Suddenly Luhan poked him in the arm and whispered, “I am getting better at catching you. Stop turning up the heat.”

We grinned as one at him and nodded. I ran up my fingers on Jjong’s thigh while nodding at Luhan. Jjong’s eyes again began to glaze over. Luhan shook his head in defeat and gave up, muttering under his breath something about shameless men.

Imo asked Jjong about Hyori who had declined the offer to have dinner with us. We knew that there was no way she would want to sit on the same table as Heechul. She valued her eyes too much.

Marc and Viktor occupied the chairs on either side of Ji. Chan Yeol sat opposite her. They communicated silently. Soo sat next to Chan Yeol and put him out of his misery by letting him know that Ji wasn’t interested in her dinner companions. He breathed a little easier after that.

Our guests departed early as the family had to leave for Sydney early next morning. Uncle gave permission to Beagle to camp again with the kids. Jjong and I made sure that we properly packed the bags for Amber, Sehun, Minx and Byong.

We advised the teens to behave themselves and maintain proper decorum. They could indulge in PDA on their return back to Korea. Minx and Sehun promised to only hold hands till they were in our presence again.

Amber said her behavior depended on Kai’s but she wouldn’t do anything to embarrass us or her parents. We were happy with that. I told Heechul to keep an eye on Amber and Siwon to do the same with Kai.

Kai whispered to Siwon to give him permission to kiss Amber and got a whack on his head for his effort. Siwon warned Kai to behave or else he would all the time remain between the two teens. Kai looked at his parents to appeal for leniency but Kibum backed Siwon’s diktat. To Kai’s dismay, Kibum threatened to cut off his pocket money if he did anything to annoy Siwon.

Imo and Uncle were silently observing how Jjong and I dealt with all the teens and smiled at us. I hoped that we’d gained at least some of their trust where Ji was concerned.

Ji put Junsu to bed in her room. Jjong made sure that Chan Yeol put his sleeping bag between Kai and Amber, whispering to him to keep an eye on the two that night for us. Lights were turned off early. Everyone bid good night but we kept our bedroom door open to catch any conversations between the campers. All were tired after a late night the day before and a long day of walking. Silence reigned in our apartment within a few short minutes.

We finally closed our door and tried to relax on our bed. Our kids were parting from us for the first time and we were a little worried. We knew they’d be well cared for. We just hoped for the teens to behave and be on their best behavior. We also prayed for Sehun to maintain his principles and not get instigated by Kai to do anything rash.

When I wouldn’t stop fretting, Jjong kissed me and began loving me to distract me. It worked and I forgot the world till the first rays of dawn. My Puppy really knew me well.