≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

57. CONSCRIPTION

Kibum and I watched as Amber pushed away the bowl of instant ramyeon and sat deep in thought. Kai turned to his heavily pregnant wife and asked in concern, “Baby what happened? Not hungry? Are your feet aching again? Should I give you a foot rub?”

We smiled indulgently at the young couple and waited for Amber to whack her husband as usual. “Maybe she wants to eat kimchi mandu. Remember Jinki, that’s what you ate through your pregnancy.” Minho’s voice piped up from the other side of the table.

“She is not Jinki’s oppa’s biological daughter to have inherited his tastes. DongHae oppa what did your wife eat when pregnant with Amber?” Soo corrected Minho and logically turned to DongHae.

“Mostly she ate my head,” DongHae laughed at his joke and Amber made a face at him. “But, seriously I don’t remember any food . Till you got pregnant Soo, I didn’t even know women experienced something like this as well. I only remember her mood swings. But Amber seems in a better mood when pregnant.” DongHae turned to Hyukkie for help.

“Don’t look at me hyung. I didn’t even know you then. God, you are so ignorant of the women in your life,” Hyukkie teased his husband.

Puppy looked up from his plate and Jungkook, who was sitting in his lap busy fishing out only squid pieces from it. “Guys it’s so simple. Why not ask Amber only? I think her pregnancy has turned all your brains to mush. Kai’s was already in that state since she accepted his sort-of-confession.”

Jaejoong brought out his phone and made a note in it. When Leeteuk frowned at his use of phone at the dining table, he smiled cutely and explained, “I am noting down all the different symptoms so I am ready when it’s my turn. Appa, what do you think the pregnancy food choices are dictated by - specific hormones or genes? Can I research this in your hospital?”

Leeteuk and Soo beamed at their younger son, happy with his academic question. Usually his questions were mundane and silly. It took us by surprise that Jaejoong could think seriously about things which did not concern his older brother’s love life, my happiness and his own future dozen children.

“Joongie why don’t you research on what turns Chunnie on? Why Yunho? Why not me?” Junsu suggested hopefully. Uncle who was sitting next to him gave him a hard whack on the head. He turned to his grandfather with a pout and rubbed his head. “Harabeoji, I was just suggesting. You don’t have to hit me. I will get amnesia. I don’t want to forget my Chunnie.”

There were loud groans around the table. Everyone knew that Junsu had still not confessed to Yoochun and the entire relationship was in his imagination only. The young ones began laughing that the teenager got hit by the eldest on the table.

Kai was rubbing Amber’s back. Imo asked if it was hurting and Amber shook her head turning pink in the process. Kai immediately removed his hand and picked up his chopsticks offering some vegetables to Amber. She made a face and refused to open . “I don’t know what I want to eat. But I know it’s not here on the table.”

We wracked our heads for choices to offer Amber who was a week away from her delivery date. “Savory or sweet?” Kibum asked.

“Nothing with salt in it,” Amber made a face at the thought of all the salt she had been consuming till date. “Just look at my feet. They are swollen to double their size. But I can’t help it. Even if my doctor told me to reduce salt in my diet, I can only tolerate salty food. Anything else makes me puke. Now I don’t even want to eat that?” Amber began sniffling in distress. “Lee Jongin, you have made me fat! Just look at me. I am fat from head to toe.” She suddenly wailed and fat tears began rolling down her cheeks.

Kai immediately hugged her and she roughly pushed him away. “Don’t touch me, Lee Jongin. You are responsible for my becoming fat. I can’t even go to work. And you don’t let me carry my gun around. I have turned into a useless woman who can only produce kids. I hate you!” She began pulling Kai’s hair when he tried to kiss her cheek and calm her down.

Kibum, Heechul and her fathers left their seats and rushed to her but she kicked all of them away. Puppy quickly deposited Jungkook in Minx’s lap next to him and put both his hands on Amber’s back to stop her from toppling backwards as she kicked the four men. I asked Sehun to get Puppy’s gun from under his pillow. Since the threat to his life from a gang that Puppy’s team had apprehended, he slept with a gun under his pillow.

I took the gun from Sehun and moved the five men away from Amber. Offering her the gun in my hand, I helped her stand and she put the gun in her pocket. Puppy rubbed her back to soothe her and soon she stopped crying. We wiped her tears and hugged her, taking care not to squish her huge belly.

“Come on sweetheart, such huge tears over a small gun. You can keep it. It’s my personal one,” Puppy kissed her head. When she gave a small smile he continued, “And who says you are fat. You look beautiful. Another week and all the swelling will go away. You will be back to your normal weight within a few more weeks. You can even go back to work and surround yourself with as many guns as you want.”

As Puppy talked, we took her to the living room and reclined her on the couch. Sehun took out his stethoscope from his pocket which he had begun carrying around all the time, same as when Minx was pregnant. He checked Amber and the babies’ heart beats. Byong handed the sphygmomanometer to Minho to check her blood pressure. Teukkie pushed up her pant legs to check on the swelling on her feet and lower legs.

Kai, Kibum, Heechul, DongHae and Hyukkie tried to make their way to Amber but were stopped by imo and uncle. Taemin was sitting and calmly eating his food. He knew we all were there to handle Amber’s one and only wild behavior since her pregnancy. Puppy and I sat down on the floor near her head. He held her hand and I patted her head to calm her down.

She frowned at us and said loud enough for everyone in the dining room to hear, “Harabeoji says I shouldn’t work after the babies are born. He wants me to turn in my resignation. Puppy appa, I am not going to hold any more guns and will just keep producing more kids.”

The five men came to the living room and pushed the doctors away to get near her. Kai immediately picked up her feet, sat down, put her feet in his lap and began rubbing them. He looked at his wife sadly, “But, baby I did not say that to you. Did I ever say I don’t want you to work? Did I every say I want more kids? Why are you upset with me for something that my grandfather said? I didn’t even tell you to have these babies. You are the one who stopped taking pills without even telling me.” Kai looked accusingly at the four older men surrounding them. “Did I ever hint at you doing anything you don’t want just because our elders want us to? If you’d told me you were going to stop taking your pills just because we were being pressurized to have children, I would have begun using birth control pills.”

Sehun pressed his hand on Kai’s shoulder to calm him down. He knew from recent experience how emotionally exhausting the last two months of pregnancy were. “Kai don’t say anything more that you might regret later.”

Amber struggled to sit. Puppy and I helped her up. She wrapped her arms around her husband who was looking like a kicked dog at that moment. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and picked her up to sit in his lap. He pressed his forehead against hers, “Baby I love you so much. I only want to see you happy and smiling. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I don’t care what anyone says. I will deal with them myself. You don’t worry your pretty head. I will buy you ten guns to carry all the time.”

Kibum kneeled in front of them and hugged them both, “I am sorry for asking for a grandchild. If I had known you’d hate us for it, I would have never allowed you to get pregnant. Don’t stop talking to me sweetheart. I love you so much. I can’t bear to see tears in your eyes.” He began sobbing into Amber’s back at the thought of his children feeling upset with him. “Just because appa asked you to resign you don’t have to. I will take care of both babies. You can rejoin your work as soon as doctor gives the go ahead. Don’t worry about the babies. I will take care of them at work with Hee hyung and Jinki hyung.”

Heechul went back into the dining room and sat down in Siwon’s lap to begin his own waterworks, “Simba, Amber hates me! Do something. I cannot tolerate the thought of her hating me.”

DongHae and Hyukkie just looked at us helplessly. Those two were always lost when it came to their daughter. Minho looked at all the crying men and scratched his head in wonder. He looked at Teukkie and both looked at Sehun who thought for a moment and then tapped Amber’s shoulder.

“Noona, you don’t have to worry about the children. Minx and I will take care of them. You know harabeoji is old fashioned when it comes to women and work. He didn’t let even Key umma work after marriage despite his being a man. You have Kai and Key umma to support your going back to work. Then why cry because harabeoji asked you to resign. Isn’t Minx working? And weren’t our kids looked after by our parents for over a year till I completed my studies?” When Amber looked at Sehun, he smiled at her and winked. “Let our parents talk to him. You know the fit harabeoji threw when he came to know Minho ahjeossi is coming here regularly to meet the babies. Did anyone let it effect the arrangement? When harabeoji realized no one is listening, and no one else is having an issue with it, he calmed down.”

At this even Kai looked at Sehun who grinned as he continued, “We know how much harabeoji likes to boss us around. We just have to find a way to go about doing what we want without offending him.”

Taemin spoke loudly from the dining table, “There is no way appa is going to deny your wish to rejoin work, Amber. He simply dotes on you. If he comes to know you cried over here, he will scold us for making you unhappy, without realizing how much he is to blame. He, umma and Hyukkie’s parents are the ones who pressurized you for a great-grandchild before they leave this world. Come on, if every great-grandparent automatically went to heaven, the heaven would become overcrowded. And there is no way in hell that appa is going to heaven, no matter how many great-grandchildren you give him. So stop worrying everyone. Tell Kitty what you want to eat. Once your babies are fed, you will feel happier. Kitty, stop bawling your eyes out. Your face will become red and blotchy and I don’t want to hear your whines about it for the rest of the day. Don’t become a kid with the kids. Get up and make yourself useful.”

“Yah, you good-for-nothing man. How can you just sit and eat and spout nonsense? I always look good, even with red eyes. How can you embarrass me like this in front of everyone? Just for that you sleep in the guest room for next one month.” Kibum got up and walked into the other room, mad at Taemin. We heard Taemin yelp. Kibum must have kicked him on his way to the kitchen. “Cinderella, stop crying. Your whines to Siwon hyung are giving me a headache. Come help me decide what to cook for Amber.”

Everyone gave their own suggestion but Amber kept shaking her head. Finally DongHae fearfully mumbled, “Hotteok, the traditional cinnamon kind. It was her mother’s favorite comfort food.”

I went into the kitchen and took out the sweet bread dough that I had prepared in the morning for baking cinnamon rolls for the young ones later. We didn’t have time to prepare the dough for hotteok, which were a variety of sweet pancakes that needed a yeasty dough. Kibum gave Heechul the simple task of measuring the filling ingredients, something he would have difficulty messing up. Soon we had brown sugar and peanut-filled pancakes sizzling on fying pans. The aroma of cinnamon filled the house.

“You are making your cinnamon buns Jinki?” Minho asked. I wanted to hit him for his familiarity but resisted. Puppy had begun inviting him to share our Sunday lunches because it gave him the opportunity to publicly hug and kiss me.

Children began hopping from one foot to another in anticipation of the sweet treat. Uncle voiced his exasperation, “How can any of you still feel hungry? You ate everything on the table.”

“We are growing teenagers harabeoji,” Junsu reminded him.

“Ummappa make enough for everyone. I want three,” Byong called out. “Hurry up, I can see Duckie wiping off her drool.” He earned himself a well-placed punch from Duckie for that.

“Cinder, you must allow them to kiss. I can’t see Byong become Duckie’s punching bag again. There isn’t an inch of his body that is not bruised once more,” I looked at Heechul trying to make him understand.

“But, Jinx, she is my little girl. I can’t bear the thought of her kissing anyone before marriage,” Heechul whined.

“She is my little girl too Cinder. If I had my way, I would conduct their wedding right now and be done with it. But Puppy’s parents want a wedding as huge as Minx’s. Have some pity on Byong. Isn’t he also your baby?” I tried to make Heechul understand.

We kept making hotteok and endless trips to the dining table to serve our horde with-bottomless-pits-in-the-name-of-stomachs, while continuing our whispered discussion. Amber loved the pancakes and began wolfing them down while Kai tried to caution her to go slow or she’d burn her tongue.

Kibum patted Heechul’s back when he returned to the kitchen, “Times have changed Hee hyung. What do you think Amber and Kai did all those weekends in Seoul, play chess? I found male birth control pills in his room when he came of age.”

“I don’t want to know that Key. Are you trying to convince me or scare me?” Heechul kicked Kibum.

“Byong won’t go that far. Strictly kissing only. No locking the door. I will talk to Duckie myself,” I again sought Heechul’s permission.

“But they are getting married within a few months. Why can’t they wait?” Heechul protested.

“I don’t think that will happen. Sehun has an announcement to make. That’s why we gathered everyone for lunch today,” I shook my head sadly.

“Did you have to ask Minho also to come?” Heechul raised his brows, not liking Minho’s presence as part of our family.

“Minho dropped by to give Sehun a new fetal sternal retractor that he’d specially ordered from Germany. I still can’t believe that Sehun can perform heart surgeries in unborn babies. How much medical science has progressed since my college days,” I explained how Minho, Sehun and Leeteuk had bonded over their love for medicine and research for new innovative procedures. “It’s good that Sehun joined Teukkie’s hospital for research purposes while continuing to teach part-time in KNU. His alma mater was not permitting him the required innovation in the fetal cardiac surgery area.”

“Minho could have given it tomorrow. Why today, at lunch time only? You and Puppy are too soft on him. Soon he will be part of our Saturday dinners.” Heechul kicked me for good effect, as if to knock some sense into me.

“He is behaving himself. See how politely he is talking to Sunwoo hyung and Hyemi noona,” Kibum pointed out.

“You and Taemin never see anything wrong in Minho. He will smile at you politely while driving a knife into your back. I can’t believe how Taemin is fawning all over that devil. I hate Minho and nothing you can say or do that will change my mind Key,” Heechul aimed another kick at the younger man.

Kibum hopped out of harm’s range and became irritated, “Yah! What’s with you and kicks today. Do you know how much it hurts? I am 50 this year. I don’t heal so quickly anymore. Damn, the bruises are not going to fade for a month. And they don’t match with the y tit bits Taemin gave me for my birthday.”

We laughed and Kibum blushed realizing the information he had given us. Heechul immediately began trying to pull down Kibum’s pants to see if he was wearing any of the y bits. Uncle saw us from his seat at the dining table and yelled, “Stop horsing around you shameless creatures. We have kids on the table and what will Hyemi noona think of you old grandfathers?”

Heechul turned to him and poked his tongue out, “None of them was even aware of anything till you helpfully pointed it out to them. Mind your own business uncle. We can’t help it if you are at the age when you need a walking stick.”

“Come here and let me whack you to show who needs a walking stick. Joongie go kick your Hee umma from my side. I will treat you to an icecream sundae,” Uncle ordered his minion.

“Joongie, don’t you dare. You will need our help to take care of you and your dozen kids. Your grandparents will be too old to even lift a finger,” Heechul smiled at the boy who was getting ready to get up from his chair to do his grandfather’s bidding.

“Harabeoji, Hee umma has a valid point. I have to worry more about my future than my present,” Jaejoong kissed uncle on his cheek to pacify him before refusing.

“Settle down all of you. Sehun has an important announcement,” Sunwoo hyung raised his hands to stop all arguments.

Everyone looked at Sehun who buried his face in Minx’s neck, “I don’t even want to think about it Minnie. I hate it. I don’t want to say it aloud.”

“Hunnie has got his conscription letter. He has to report by end of November,” Minx announced about Sehun’s call from the military for mandatory service. She rubbed her cheek on his hair and wrapped an arm around him.

There were loud gasps around the table. Everyone knew that Sehun and Minx had not spent a day apart since they were kids. Seeing their parents so upset, Joohyun, Jungkook and Taeyong went to them and began whimpering. Puppy picked up Taeyong, Teukkie picked up Jungkook and Duckie put Joohyun in her lap. The children clung to the elders and looked at their parents.

“Which base?” Siwon asked.

“Yeoncheon,” Sunwoo hyung answered.

“As a medic,” Puppy added.

DongHae gasped, “That’s only 400 meters from the de-militarized zone.” Imo became distressed at the information.

“Can’t he join as KATUSA?” I wondered because Korean Augmentation to United States Army had easier regulations. “That way Minx can go with him.”

“Why don’t you ask appa for help?” Taemin asked us. I shook my head. I didn’t my father’s help unless there was no other way out.

“We can ask my father. Although he is retired from active politics,” Heechul offered.

“I personally know the minister of health and welfare. I will ask him,” Leeteuk offered.

“Will he have to undergo basic training?” Byong asked.

“Not if we get him moved to KATUSA,” Uncle answered.

“We must be the only family in the country that wants their son in KATUSA,” Hyemi noona looked offended. “We should be proud to serve our country.”

“We are noona,” Puppy answered her. “But think about our family circumstances. Have you not heard of the suicide cases due to bullying in the military?”

“But there have been none reported since 2020,” Hyemi noona pointed out.

“Just because none have been reported does not mean they are not taking place. Media reports are more closely monitored since the student uprising in 2019,” DongHae countered.

“He is related to a well-known family of gays. His fathers-in-law are gay. Just think about it Hyemi,” Sunwoo hyung reasoned with his wife.

“This may be year 2023, but Korean society has not changed much towards gays. And army is even more narrow-minded than genereal society,” Siwon pointed out.

Realization dawned in Hyemi noona’s eyes and opened in a wide o as she stared in concern at her son, “I didn’t think of that.”

“I am not worried about the treatment umma. I don’t want to leave my Minnie. Two years without her?” Sehun groaned in distress. Minx hugged him closer.

“It’s 21 months Sehun,” Kai corrected and Amber kicked him to shut him up.

“I can’t live 21 hours without her. Shut up Kai. Soon it will be your turn as well. I will then see what you think of leaving Amber noona and your babies,” Sehun glared at his friend.

“The Army Chief of Staff is my childhood friend,” Minho said hesitantly. “I can get him out of the conscription.”

“No!” Several of us spoke collectively.

“We have no issues with his call to serve the country. We are just worried about his separation from Minx,” Hyukkie explained to a perplexed Minho.

Taemin and Kibum looked worriedly at Kai. Sehun had made them realize how much of a danger conscription posed to their son. “What about the peace talks in Tokyo?” Kibum asked hopefully.

“They have been going on in one country or another for the past two decades. Nothing has materialized as yet. This is why we didn’t let the boys volunteer till now, in the hope that peace will prevail and mandatory military service will no longer be needed,” Puppy explained to Kibum who nodded in agreement. We had discussed this when Kai and Sehun turned 18.

“We can still hope that peace prevails before either Kai or Byong are called. They don’t have the safety net of being a doctor like Sehun. They will have to do active duty. And they will be sons of gay couples,” Taemin stared at the wall in deep thought. “What is so wrong with being a gay? What makes us different from anyone else in the society?”

No one had an answer to that and everyone sat immersed in their own thoughts for the next few minutes.

“Minnie I will die if I don’t get to meet you every day,” Sehun moaned again in Minx’s neck. Minho stared at him in shock. Puppy glared at him, making him look away from the young couple.

Amber mocked the young doctor, “Stop being a drama queen Sehun. It will be difficult but you will survive.”

“You don’t know anything noona. Since I was four years old, I have met my Minnie every day. I even refused to consider college in any other city because I needed my daily dose of Minnie. She is the very air I breathe,” Sehun tried to climb into Minx’s lap.

A warning from uncle kept Sehun in his chair, “Behave Sehun. Don’t set a bad example for the children.”

“Ummappa, how come you never did military service?” Byong turned to me with a puzzled face.

I had been mentally preparing myself for the question. However, it was still not easy to answer. I squirmed around in my chair for some time before forming some sort of coherent response, “I am not proud of the fact but we paid a hefty fine to the government to avoid military service for me, Tae, Kibum and Minho. My father was scared of what will happen to us in military barracks. We were the first gays to go public in South Korea. It’s not that we did not want to go. But, things were very different then. Your grandfather paid the money without our knowledge. We came to know only after the fact.”

I waited for derision but everyone simply nodded in understanding, even Hyemi noona. “You know you are doing something even better than military service to serve your country. You are educating the future of the country. In military, you would have served only two years. But with your hagwons you are into a lifetime of service. Stop feeling guilty,” Hyemi noona smiled at me.

Duckie didn’t question Heechul, it was understood that his father played an instrumental role in getting him relieved from conscription. We mooted over our youth as Sehun huddled close to Minx and moaned once in a while to remind us how much he hated the thought of leaving her.

“Definitely KATUSA,” Siwon and DongHae murmured. We decided to take Heechul’s father’s help first and Teukkie’s next.

“Does that mean you will not be there with us in March?” Jaejoong calculated the months on his fingers and raised the issue.

“I don’t want to marry without hyung,” Byong shook his head, and then put his head down on the table dejectedly.

“We are not marrying without oppa. It will be weird, like missing a parent. He has to be there,” Duckie glared rebelliously at us, daring us to contradict her.

“We’ll postpone the marriage till 2025 or 2026 when Sehun returns,” I smiled at her in understanding.

“But I will be in middle of my college studies,” Duckie pouted at the thought of having children immediately after the wedding.

“Silly girl, you can complete your college even as a married woman,” Heechul knocked her forehead. “And no, don’t say it. We are not asking you for children till whenever you want them.”

“Oh!” Duckie worried her lower lip before turning to her parents and pointed towards Byong, “I promised you I will not kiss this moron till after our wedding. You want me to wait two years?” opened in shock at the realization of how long two years actually were.

“That’s 24 months noona,” Jaejoong crowed happily.

“And 730 days, give or take a few” Junsu supplied. Joongie hi-fived him.

“Wait till you fall in love. I will extract full revenge brats,” Byong groaned with his forehead still on the table. We heard thumping sounds of his head hitting the table.

“I will kiss my love the moment I confess,” Jaejoong announced chirpily. Junsu blushed at the thought, must be imagining kissing his Yoochun.

Teukkie whacked Jaejoong and glared, “Focus your mind on your studies. You need to get a good job to pay for your dozen kids.” Teukkie’s words silenced his sons.

“Talk to your ummappa later, Duckie. He has a solution,” Heechul told his daughter. When Duckie looked ready to argue, he raised his hand, “No, I don’t want to hear any arguments at the moment. Either do as I say, or I will tell Jinx to cancel out everything we discussed in the kitchen.”

Kibum smiled at the mutinous girl, “You will be surprised Duckie. Just listen to your father for once. Talk to Jinki hyung later in private.”

“I am too full to move,” Minho proclaimed loudly to divert the mutiny-in-making.

“I am too sad to move,” Sehun moaned again. He had not moved an inch from his spot in Minx’s arms. “I don’t want to move ever again.”

“Kai carry me,” Amber demanded and Kai immediately complied, carefully picking her up and carrying her into the living room.

Jaejoong shot a brief video muttering, “Hyung and the blimp,” earning a hard whack from his mother.

“You will be a blimp a dozen times,” Puppy laughed at the pouting boy.

“Here care for three first, think of twelve later,” Uncle pointed Jaejoong to the three toddlers. He laughed and told the trio to follow him. Junsu and he became willing horses for the three with Byong pressed into becoming the third horse.

Minho rubbed his knees, remembering the rides he gave all three when he was the horse before lunch. Puppy and I tried to coax Sehun to leave Minx’s arms for some time. When he refused to budge, we herded everyone into the living room to give the couple some time alone.

“Don’t worry, we will get him into KATUSA so he and Minx can be together,” Siwon looked at Leeteuk and both nodded together in a silent promise.

“This means, the babies will also go with them?” Hyemi noona got her epiphany. She looked at the toddlers in panic.

I sagged against Puppy at the thought of separating from our grandchildren. Puppy wrapped his arms around me and I didn’t know who was supporting whom after that. We both tried to hold back our whimpers. Duckie pushed us on to a couch. We crashed down and held on tight to each other. We heard uncle mumble “weirdos” but there was no censure in it. Everyone was thinking about parting from the three adorable horse riders.

Minho sat down on Puppy’s other side. Unthinkingly, Puppy wrapped one of his arms around the older man and included him in our attempt to alleviate our misery. I watched as Minho put his head on Puppy’s other shoulder and hugged him back, mewling pitifully.

“Stop it. Just stop it. If Cinderella starts crying, he won’t stop for days,” Siwon’s agitated voice broke into our miserable silence.

“We’ll find a solution. Don’t worry,” DongHae spoke confidently. “We have to find a solution.”

“KATUSA is also there in Camp Carroll in Waegwan which is just 20 km away from the main Daegu city. Siwon, Teukkie is that possible?” Uncle looked at DongHae for confirmation of his information. DongHae nodded. He and Puppy worked closely with Korean army bases in and around Daegu.

Siwon dialed his father-in-law and spoke in low tones with him for a few minutes and then nodded at everyone, “Abeoji will get right to it. He wants us to send him a copy of the letter.”

All of them huddled together and concluded the first stage of getting Sehun properly transferred. Hyemi noona sat silently, the thought of separation from her grandchildren kept her grounded and evaporated all her feelings of ‘doing your duty for your country’ that she had talked of earlier. Kiwoo had given up his Korean citizenship and become a US citizen to avoid going to the military. He was quite outspoken about his belief that he’d rather kill himself than point a gun at another human being who had done no harm to him but was serving his country like all the conscripted South Korean males.

Now she was going to be parted from her younger son, her daughter-in-law and grandchildren. Sehun was equally vocal about active military service. He had taken Hippocratic Oath to save human lives. He couldn’t understand why the two countries that shared same cultural heritage were at war. He had hotly debated ‘humanity over duty’ last year when the entire Camp Katy at Yeonchon was destroyed by North Korean missiles that North Korea denied ever firing in May 2022.

Soo and Duckie handed water to all of us. I sat looking into my glass of water as if it held answers to my internal debate and guilt. I should be proud that my son-in-law was getting his turn to be a good citizen. But all I felt was sadness. I could only think as a father, keenly feeling the soon-approaching absence of my child. I tried to imagine not seeing Sehun for a day. I couldn’t. My heart filled with overwhelming pain at the thought of not seeing him for months. As tears filled my eyes, I untangled myself from Puppy’s body and ran up to our room. Closing the door, I slid to the floor and let the tears flow freely.

In the privacy of my room I didn’t have to be the superman Jinki. I could be myself, a father whose life was his children. I don’t know when but I felt Puppy’s arms envelop me and press my head to his chest. Another pair of arms wrapped around both of us and I smelled Minho’s cologne.

For the longest time, the three of us sat silently united in our distress.