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56. SHADES OF TIME

“Omoni, can you cook instant ramyeon for Amber?” Kai requested over the phone for lunch on Sunday in mid-August when Amber was seven months pregnant.

“I have made preparations for her shrimp pancakes.” I questioned the sudden change in menu. Though I didn’t understand why I bothered to ask. Amber was pregnant. That fact alone was reason enough.

“She does not want to eat pancakes. Says even the thought makes her want to puke. She asked umma to make her some instant ramyeon an hour ago and umma is still throwing a fit over it. Even harabeoji is supporting umma for once. They are adamant that Amber should not eat junk food like instant ramyeon and Amber refuses to eat anything else but that.” Kai tried to sound impartial but failed. I understood that if Amber asked for the moon, he would somehow manage to give it to her.

“Okay come over and, on the way, buy whatever brand she wants to eat.” I soothed my frustrated nephew.

I went to kitchen and quickly chopped a few vegetables that I thought Amber would allow me to add to her instant noodles to make it sufficiently nourishing for a pregnant woman. I arranged the raw vegetables and many pickled ones for her to choose from. Amber’s taste had changed from vegetarian to shrimp and maybe vegetarian again. To be safe, I even boiled few eggs.

Minho was in the living room playing with the toddlers. He usually didn’t visit on Sundays, but he was unwell for the past two weeks and so we made an exception. Imo had grumbled non-stop since morning and was out shopping with Soo, Ji, Hyemi noona and Minx to avoid meeting him. Seeing how close Minho’s visit was to lunch time, Uncle and Puppy had invited him to eat with us.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about Minho sharing a meal with us. It certainly felt strange. Ours was a large and happy family where everyone talked and laughed loudly at the dining table, including the young ones. No one judged anyone. There was a lot of teasing, bad jokes and, now with both grown up and married kids, a lot of off-colored jokes as well. I didn’t want Minho to look critically at anyone and form a bad opinion.

Suddenly strong arms enveloped me from behind and a pair of soft lips began nibbling my ear. I smiled and turned my head to catch Puppy’s lips with my own in a long tender kiss. “What are you worrying about yeobo?” Puppy asked when our lips separated.

“Nothing important, jagi. You can say I was thinking of ways to punish Minho if he forms bad opinion about any of our family members during lunch or any other time today.” I grinned at my love.

“Yes, today, he is meeting most of them after a long time and that too in a more personal setting. If looks could kill, Beagle would have killed him by now. Teukkie hyung is silently observing him. Both are making him extremely nervous.” Puppy couldn’t stop feeling happy when talking about an uncomfortable Minho. “Maybe we should call Hee hyung and Super also. They will drill holes into Minho with their patented scowls. They might even pester Hae hyung to label him a cyber terrorist.” His words made us laugh. Our friends would do exactly that. Heechul’s hatred of Minho surpassed even imo’s.

There was the sound of doorbell and a few moments later, Heechul’s agitated voice rang out, “Simba! Ask Duckie to stop kissing Byong till their wedding.”

Okay, now the fat was in the fire. Puppy and I held our breath, waiting for the explosion.

Heechul did not disappoint us, we were sure his loud screech could be heard in the next city, “What are you doing here? Who gave you permission to touch my grandbabies?” His questions created pin drop silence in the house. Even the chatterbox kids stopped talking in shock.

“Uh, umm, Jonghyun?” Minho’s response was hesitant. Puppy and I stayed in the kitchen, letting everyone else take care of the drama playing out in the living room.

“Jjong? He would never allow you to set foot anywhere near his family or his home.” Siwon was authoritative in his opinion about Minho.

“Why Simba appa?” Jaejoong, the irrepressible imp, asked on behalf of all the young ones.

“It’s a long story Joongie. We will tell you when you are older. For now I can only tell you that he made Jinki very sad.” Siwon tried to answer diplomatically.

“You made my ummappa sad?” Jaejoong yelled in distress and we heard Minho groan out in pain. “Leave me hyung, I will teach him a lesson. No one makes my ummappa sad. Let go of my arm, I want to punch him more.”

“Puppy, go pacify Joongie. I don’t want Teukkie to get upset with him for disrespecting an elder.” I said, following a smiling Puppy out of the kitchen.

In the living room, we saw Sehun hugging a struggling Jaejoong and Minho standing with his arm wrapped around his abdomen. Junsu was advancing towards Minho with his punches ready but Chan Yeol intercepted him. Oh my god, this was the first time I was seeing the ferocious side of our sweet Junsu.

“Everyone calm down. Minho is here on my invitation.” Puppy’s voice rang out in the room. He raised his hands to stop the tirade that was imminent from Heechul and Siwon, “We will discuss it later. Let the kids just enjoy a family Sunday.”

I motioned Sehun and Chan Yeol to bring Joongie and Junsu to the dining room, leaving Puppy to explain to our agitated friends. Once out of hearing range, I hugged both boys and kissed their heads to calm them down. “Don’t get upset. It happened a long time ago, when we were very young.” I took their hands in mine and opened the fists to lace my fingers with theirs. I kissed each hand before continuing, “Life is not always smiles and happiness. There may be times when certain things or people make us sad. I was married to Minho when I was very young and due to certain reasons, I had to leave him. Then I fell in love with your Puppy appa and I am very happy now.”

“But he made you sad. I hate him for that.” Joongie said stubbornly.

Chan Yeol tried another method, “Just think how Yunho will feel when you make his boyfriend Yoochun fall in love with Junsu? Should he hate you for making him sad? Should he hate Yoochun for making him sad?”

Sehun caught on and added, “Think about it Joongie, for Junsu’s happiness you will be hurting someone else. By the same logic, even Yunho’s parents, brother and friends should hate you for making him sad.”

“If Yunho loves Yoochun he will never let him go.” Joongie must have thought a lot about this. “I will ask Xia to fall in love with another boy. But if I am able to get Yoochun away from Yunho, it will mean they never loved each other. Right, Sehun hyung? That’s what you told me earlier, right? If Yunho does not love Yoochun why should he hate me for taking away Yoochun from him?” Jaejoong was a master debater.

“Huh? The point that I am trying to make is that you should not hate someone just because they make you or someone you love sad.” Sehun grinned in defeat.

“And the point also is that your ummappa is no longer sad. It was long time ago in the past.” Beagle added.

“And I don’t hate him or feel sad about the past anymore. I am very happy. I have forgiven him. You also should let go of your anger.” I smiled at them and kissed their hands once again for added effect.

“Promise that you are happy?” Junsu looked at me intensely, worry still evident on his face. Joongie looked mutinous.

“I promise. I am very very happy. Super happy.” I smiled at both boys. “We will go out later and get ice cream sundaes or rainbow cakes to share our happiness with everyone.” I knew rainbow cake was Jaejoong’s favorite.

“You will tell me if you are sad again?” Sweet Junsu was not easy to appease. Both brothers looked at me carefully. When I nodded their expressions softened and they gave a small smile.

“But Joongie, you must apologize to Minho ahjeossi. He is your elder and you punched him. It’s not right. Joongie is my very good boy and I want everyone to think only nice things about him.” I looked at him as I made my request, “My Joongie will not disappoint his ummappa by behaving like a hoodlum, right? You are a gentleman.”

Jaejoong nodded and sighed. He really hated to admit he was wrong. I kissed their heads again and we trooped back into the living room. Heechul and Siwon shared a couch and Chan Yeol joined them. All three of them glared at Minho. Baekhyun climbed into his father’s lap and began asking him lots of questions. Teukkie looked at me and I nodded in response.

Joongie went up to Minho who was sitting surrounded by his three grandkids, “I am sorry that I misbehaved with you.”

Minho gave him a smile and softly replied, “It’s alright. No harm done. I can see that you love your uncle a lot.” At his words, Jaejoong merely nodded without saying anything.

“I also love your uncle very much,” Minho informed him. Heechul, Siwon and Chan Yeol snorted at that. Sehun and Uncle showed better control over their reactions.

Joongie looked at him with disbelief and his tirade began again, “If you love ummappa, you would have never made him sad. You would have made sure you always kept him happy. Like Puppy appa keeps him happy and smiling. My father says that we must always give happiness to everyone, and even greater happiness to the ones we love and who love us in return.” Jaejoong stared at Minho as he drove in his point, “So ahjeossi I don’t think you ever loved ummappa. If you did, you would have died before making him sad for even one minute.” Joongie’s logical appeal to Minho made Teukkie beam at him with pride.

Minho flushed pink at the simple logic of the 11 year old. He looked at everyone’s face to find them nodding at Joongie’s words. Byong and Duckie wrapped their arms around my waist and squeezed me between them. When Minho looked at me in the end, they stared back at him with their bodies tensed protectively.

I looked at Puppy and grinned to lighten the atmosphere, “It does not matter what Minho feels. I only love my Puppy and we are extremely happy together.”

Puppy moved to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist as he whispered in my ear, “How can I not keep my Tokki happy? Your smile is so beautiful. I love to make you smile.”

Sehun and Chan Yeol pretended to gag at Puppy’s cheesiness while Uncle muttered, “Shameless creatures.” Byong and Duckie kissed our cheeks.

Junsu stood beside Jaejoong and both boys glared at Minho. Junsu put his hand on Joongie’s arm to hold him back and addressed Minho, “If you ever make our ummappa sad again, you will have to deal with us. We will have our friends beat you to a pulp. That’s our promise to you.” The softly uttered threat coming from our soft Junsu made it sound more menacing that the words. Minho solemnly nodded.

Uncle gave a small laugh, “Teukkie you are such a teddy bear. How did you manage to produce two ferocious tigers?”

Siwon got up, hugged the two boys, and looked straight in Minho’s eyes, “Minho, they will keep their promise. Because, unlike you, our family believes in keeping their promises. Just to give you a heads up. Jjong and Jinki might have forgiven you, but Heechul and I have not. If what happened earlier was not enough, what Yohan did to Jjong and Jinki has forever put you in my blacklist. If you ever hurt my friends again, even remotely, no corner of this universe will keep you safe from me.”

Siwon didn’t have to raise his voice, his calm tone and hard eyes made Minho gulp as he nodded. Though Minho was much older than Siwon, honorifics were lacking. Poor Minho was quite high in everyone’s hate list. Puppy grinned at the scene in front of us and kissed my cheek, tightening his arms around me.

“Appa just for that, I will grant your request and stop kissing Byong till the wedding,” Duckie beamed happily at her parents. I caught Byong pouting a little at her words. So my devil son liked the demon princess’s kisses even though he pretended otherwise.

Heechul jumped with joy at her words and picked up Joohyun, who was nearest to him, and whirled her in the air. The other two climbed over Uncle. I reminded Sehun, “Sunshine, call your father to have lunch with us. Kai and Amber would be arriving any time now.” Sehun made a quick call to his father.

“Jinx, you have not called Key? It seems quite a gathering here. He will throw a fit if he misses it.” Heechul could never have his fill of Kibum’s attitude. “Taemin is in Japan, and his dear Kitty must be missing him.” His words made most of us chuckle. He took out his phone and began texting Kibum.

“What sin has DongHae committed to be excluded? Beagle, call him and Hyukkie.” Siwon tossed his phone to Chan Yeol who made short work of inviting the couple.

“Appa I also want to invite my friends,” Junsu looked pleadingly at his father.

“No way Junsu. I will end up with indigestion if I have to sit through another meal while you watch your imaginary boyfriend, who flirts all the time with his real boyfriend. I can actually see Joongie’s mental wheels working over time. I deserve to have a peaceful lunch at least one Sunday.” Leeteuk looked steadily at his boys. “Joongie stop plotting Yunho’s murder. I don’t want to visit you in jail anytime soon.”

Minho kept looking from one person to another. His confusion was quite clear. He was bewildered from the sudden change in the room’s mood from threatening to jovial. In just a few short minutes, invitations for lunch had been extended and accepted. The boys who had just threatened him were whining at their father. I gave him a small smile and a shrug. This was life as usual in our family.

We heard Kai and Amber outside and Sehun opened the door before they could ring the bell. Kai ignored everyone and walked straight up to me holding out a shopping bag, “Ummappa here. She is very hungry, please hurry.”

“Yah, where are your manners Kai. We are all here and all you are bothered about is your wife.” Uncle scolded him but spoiled the effect by smiling and hugging Amber.

I took Amber with me to the kitchen and the toddlers followed us. Whatever Amber ate, Joohyun had to have the same and her two younger brothers insisted on imitating her. Since, Amber began eating shrimp pancakes at our house, the three imps followed her as much as their mother allowed.

I already had a pan of water boiling and added the noodles and and its powdered spices. Amber washed her hands and began smelling each vegetable before adding it to the pan. She put aside mushrooms but added a lot of broccoli. Red and yellow bell peppers made their way into the pan but green found itself near the mushrooms. All the meat items were pushed away too. Carrots and spinach were added but scallions were discarded. I added more condiments for the vegetables.

“Ummappa can you prepare sweet and sour cucumber and carrots for me? I don’t want any of these pickles.” Amber smiled sweetly as she looked at the ramyeon and vegetables simmering in the pot. “Ah I am so hungry. I wanted to eat the ramyeon raw in the car but I didn’t like their raw taste.”

“Go set the table. It will be ready in five minutes.” I kissed her cheek and sent her out with the kids. Then I loudly called, “Duckie, come and set the table for everyone and get your good-for-nothing mother also.”

Byong and Duckie appeared instantly to help me. “Umma did not want to come. He wants to keep an eye on Minho ahjeossi,” she explained.

We quickly prepared the vegetable salad that Amber wanted to have and served her, Baekhyun and the toddlers. Beagle, Sehun and Joongie helped the children eat. Joongie informed us that Junsu was watching Minho. The brothers had decided that Minho was too dangerous to be left alone without at least one of them monitoring his behavior.

I softly laughed in the kitchen, out of their sight. I was too emotional by my family’s protective behavior but didn’t want to cry and alarm everyone so I laughed instead, trying to dispel the tears from my eyes.

“Ummappa, who is Yohan?” Byong’s words quickly sobered me. I saw Duckie and Byong glancing at each other in silent communication.

“He was your father’s boss at work when you were very young.” I decided to answer Byong simply, not wishing the children to know the sordid details about the evil Yohan and how he harassed us. They still didn’t know why everyone was so upset with Minho. All they knew was that Minho was my ex-partner and Minx’s biological father and I was not happy with him. Apart from Heechul and Siwon, Puppy and I had never told anyone the real truth behind my unhappiness. My mother, Kibum, imo and uncle knew some details but not all. Puppy and I never felt the need to tell them. However, circumstances had forced us to tell everything to Heechul and Siwon.

“What did he do ummappa? I have never seen appa talk like that to anyone.” Duckie asked with her eyes big and round.

I took a minute to decide how to relate the events without actually revealing much. “He was Minho’s childhood friend and had some misconceptions about our marriage. He couldn’t accept I had left Minho and was happy with Jonghyun. He made Jonghyun’s life hell at work. It took us many months and your grandfather’s help to makes things alright. The Miran Therapy that we run in all our hagwons are named in honor of his wife.”

“What was his full name?” Byong asked. I could make out what the two were planning. If I didn’t tell, they still would find out and then look up all the details about him.

“Park Yohan,” I looked at them steadily. “Don’t do anything stupid, you hear me? It’s called past for a reason.”

“Past defines our present and future.” Duckie said quietly.

“Babygirl, that’s true. But you shouldn’t let the past color your present and future, unless it’s the colors of rainbow. If I lived in the past, I would be a sorry excuse for a human being. Learn lessons from the past and move on. That is my secret of happiness.” I pulled her cheeks when she poked her tongue out at me. “Go check if the children or Amber need anything else.”

Byong hugged me from behind when Duckie left the kitchen, “Ummappa I love you very much. I don’t say it often. But I do.” I turned my head and kissed his cheek, lifting my arm to ruffle his hair. “Geez, don’t do that. It takes me such a long time to get that perfect bedroom look that Duckie loves.”

I laughed at him, “Whatever you look like now, she is not going to kiss you till the wedding. She promised her parents.”

He let out a heart-felt sigh, “After getting me addicted, she backs off. How will I survive the next six months without her kisses?”

I leaned in his arms and laughed louder, “The way you did before she began kissing you. Don’t try anything. I have become used to seeing you without bruises.”

“Get your arms off my yeobo. Only I can hug him like this.” Puppy suddenly appeared beside us.

Our son tightened his arms around me and teased his father, “He is my ummappa and I can hug him anyway I want. I can even kiss him whenever I want.” Byong put his words into action and pecked my lips. Before we could react, the devil ran out of the kitchen, laughing at our shocked faces.

Lunch was the usual fun affair. Amber entertained the younger kids in the living room while the rest of us ate. Kibum was congenial towards Minho but not friendly. I thought he took his cues from Heechul and Siwon that something worse than what he knew had happened. DongHae and Hyukkie were reserved in their opinion.

Puppy winked at me and whispered, “Minho is literally in the hot seat and not liking it one bit. Oh yeobo, I am loving this!” I rubbed Puppy’s thigh and smiled in agreement. We were an evil duo.

After lunch, Amber insisted on helping Duckie in making coffee for us and milkshakes for the children. Beagle and Sehun helped them serve it to everyone. Kibum eyed Amber indulgently and asked, “Amber when will you start eating again at home? It’s already been two months. Are you punishing me for something?”

“Oh no umma! I just like ummappa’s cooking better at the moment. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know myself.” Amber sat down in Kibum’s lap and he wrapped his arms around her and his yet-to-be-born grandbabies.

“I miss cooking for you. I had planned to feed you so many new and tasty dishes.” Kibum pouted and put his chin on her shoulder.

“Awww my sweet umma! How about I let you take me and the babies shopping instead?” Amber tried to pacify her upset father-in-law.

“Will you let me buy some girl clothes for the babies? And those cute hair accessories and pink booties with bows, frills and ribbons?” Kibum pleaded hopefully with his tomboyish daughter-in-law.

“What if both are boys, umma? What will you do with all your purchases then?” Kai teased his father.

“I want a granddaughter. One has to be a girl.” Kibum insisted. Minho tried to hide his laughter behind the toddlers around him, but we still heard it and and Kibum blushed at his childish behavior. He hid his face in Amber’s neck but continued belligerently, “I need to be compensated with a granddaughter because my daughter-in-law refuses to wear feminine clothes. We look like a family of four men. Kai tell Amber to give me a granddaughter.”

Kai’s words to his wife made all of us laugh uncontrollably, “Baby, even if both are boys, give umma one to dress as a girl. He is right in his demand for equality. You dress as a man and he then has earned the right to dress our son as a girl. If nothing else, do it to stop his constant whines. I hear him asking me for a granddaughter even in my dreams. Why did appa go to Japan now? Umma has nothing to occupy him at night anymore and he has taken to haunting my dreams. We should ban appa from travelling till you deliver.” Kibum blushed even more and began making strange whining sounds.

Baekhyun, who till then had been yapping with his father and Puppy, climbed on the seat near Kibum and poked his cheeks, “Key-halmeoni I never knew you could become so red. But why are you worried? Didn’t Joongie hyung tell you he will give you one of his six daughters? Umma says good things happen to those who wait. Maybe if you wait patiently, hyung will give you one more as a reward.” The little yapper continued without pausing for breath, “But why do you want a granddaughter? Boys are so much more fun. Usually, except for Lay hyung. Even Xia hyung is more fun than Lay hyung. I think even my pet turtle was more fun than Lay hyung. Do you know I lost my turtle? I was playing with it on the sidewalk outside our home in Seoul and it fell down into a drain. I tried a lot to find it. Appa even went to the main drain area but we couldn’t find it. I was very sad for full five days. Then umma got me a pet snail. Do you know that even my pet snail is more fun than Lay hyung? But don’t tease Lay hyung too much or he will push you. He pushed me yesterday and I fell down and halmeoni didn’t even scold him. She told me to stop teasing him. That was so unfair. I was the one who fell down and hurt my bums. Have you ever fallen and hurt your bums? Do they turn as red as your face? Umma spanked me once for spoiling her work. It hurt. But then she cried and kissed my bums. I laughed because it tickled. Has anyone ever kissed your bums? Did it tickle you?”

We laughed harder when Kibum turned red again at Baekhyun’s questions. The little one really could talk. He didn’t even need to breathe. I thanked god that my two had been comparatively silent. No wonder Ji was consuming so many headache pills.

“Baek try to breathe and remain silent for sometime,” DongHae put his finger on his lips to motion Baekhyun to silence.

“You know I can do that for ten minutes,” Baekhyun grinned confidently at DongHae.

“I will give you your favorite candy if you can do it for even five minutes.” Hyukkie laughed.

“Deal,” Baekhyun went to sit in DongHae’s lap. All of us, except Minho, began silently counting by holding up our fingers to count the seconds. One, two, three, four, five. “Why do you smell like lemons?” Baekhyun put his nose in DongHae's neck.

Our house rang with peals of laughter for a long time.