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70. I AM NOT A GIRL (BYONG’S WEDDING - 7)

Next day, we waited along with hangover remedies for the five teens to show up for breakfast. Sehun had not stopped cackling at the thought of their certain headaches. Leeteuk got exasperated and whacked the younger man on his back to make him stop his wild laughter.

“Jinki, breakfast is nearly over. What could be holding up the boys? Both Junsu and Joongie are early risers,” Teukkie frowned as he consulted his watch for the n^th time.

“Send Hyukkie to check,” Puppy suggested while going through the list of people who were due to arrive that day.

“He’s gone to the airport with Beagle because Sehun here was too busy telling us tales,” I informed while mooting over adding another whack to Sehun’s back for letting the boys get drunk the night before.

Leeteuk couldn’t sit still for another moment, “Come Jinki. We will go and check ourselves.” I quickly gobbled up the two remaining bites on my plate and rushed out of the dining room after him, only to be followed by Sehun and Puppy.

It took us a few minutes to reach the boys’ rooms as we were stopped multiple times on our way to greet the members of our wedding party who were leisurely making their way to breakfast.

We first checked Junsu and Yoochun’s room. Both were fast asleep on their own pillows, fully dressed in their evening clothes. They slept facing each other and their fingers were twined together in the middle of the bed. Teukkie let out a huge sigh of relief at the sight. Puppy patted his back in understanding and we checked the other room.

All the relief we’d felt in the first room fled in a fraction of a second at the scene that greeted us in Joongie’s room. Joongie was squirming uncomfortably in the middle of the bed while being kissed by both the Jung brothers.

Yunho was Joongie’s neck and Changmin’s lips were pressed to his shoulder at the back. Both of them had their arms tightly wrapped around the wriggling boy whose roomy pajama top had slid off his shoulders completely.

The only consolation for us was the fact that all three were fast asleep. I patted Teukkie’s back and kept him in place while Puppy and Sehun separated the three boys and tried to wake them up. It was not an easy task and it took all four of us to wake up the boys and break them apart.

Joongie was the first one to sit up but was immediately pulled back to lie down by Yunho and Changmin. Sehun and Puppy pulled the brothers away from Joongie while Teukkie and I grabbed Joongie’s legs and pulled him completely off the bed.

“Let go, my head hurts,” Joongie made an attempt to get out of our hold and crawl back into bed.

“If you don’t wake up right now, more than your head will hurt,” Teukkie threatened his youngest in a low voice.

Joongie squinted at the two of us and pouted, “Appa my head hurts. Kiss it alright.”

Teukkie whacked Joongie’s head and scowled, “Let me get your mother and you will then get kisses from her hairbrush on such body parts that you won’t be able sit till we reach home.” Joongie just pouted some more and hugged his father, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep while standing.

Changmin and Yunho were slowly coming to their senses as well under the ministrations of Sehun and Puppy who were sprinkling the boys’ faces with water. The two boys were groaning in pain and holding to their heads. Ah, the sweetness of their hangovers was a balm to our ruffled feathers.

Teukkie and I led Joongie to the bathroom and as I started the shower, Teukkie removed Joongie’s clothes and pushed him under the warm water to wake up completely. Joongie’s yell was countered by loud groans from Jung brothers. Joongie woke up and began washing himself while Teukkie continued to supervise sternly. I took out a set of fresh clothes for our imp to wear and then did the same for Jung brothers. The boys had not even bothered to unpack and my task was easier because of the labels on their bags.

“Sehun, buy some right-sized t-shirts for Joongie from the clothes shop downstairs. He will use them at night with Junsu’s pajama bottoms. These boys will be the death of me,” Teukkie muttered as he led his son out of the bathroom. Puppy and I Yunho and Changmin into the shower together.

Sehun and Teukkie went next door to wake up and dress Junsu and Yoochun. In ten minutes, the boys were ready to join everyone for breakfast. And they kept groaning about their hangovers throughout that time.

When a dressed Changmin met Teukkie in front of Junsu’s room, the first thing he did was bow to him and said, “Sir, I humbly request you for permission to marry your younger son, Jaejoong, when I am of age.”

Teukkie stood still with his mouth hanging open. He was not the only one. Apart from Yunho, the other three boys had same reactions. Yunho was looking from his brother to Joongie to Yoochun and we could see his mind scrambling to compute the situation. Sehun and Puppy began to snicker and waited for Teukkie to react. I shook my head in denial, wondering if this strange phenomenon of early marriages was a specialty of our family.

Yunho finally reached a decision and approached Teukkie to stand beside his brother and bowed ninety degrees, “Sir, don’t listen to Changmin. He is only thirteen and does not even know how to sign his own name. I seek your blessing to court Jaejoong now and marry him when I am of legal age.”

Changmin pushed Yunho, “What the hell, hyung? You already have a boyfriend. And now you want another one? You can’t have two when I don’t even have one. Not that I want a boyfriend. But he stole my kisses and now I have to make him my wife.” The youngest boy talked non-stop as he tried to move his brother out of his way.

Yunho pushed Changmin right back and shouted, “No, he will be my wife. You are not even gay, Changmin. He stole your kisses, but I willingly gave him my first kiss. He will marry only me.”

On hearing the tussling brothers, Joongie’s hand flew to his lips as if to check for visible marks of kissing. His face and neck turned red in embarrassment and he began repeating anxiously, “I am not a girl. I don’t want to be anyone’s wife.”

Yoochun and Junsu stood immobile in shock as they watched the other three. When Junsu moaned in despair, Yoochun reached for his hand and held it. Junsu looked at their hands and his next moan was of embarrassment. His face showed that he wasn’t certain whether to laugh or cry.

Yoochun pulled Junsu with him as he approached Leeteuk, “Sir, I realized just now that I really like Junsu. Please give us permission to date.”

Yunho looked at Yoochun in shock and whispered, “Yoochun? I thought we were a couple.”

Yoochun looked at his ex-boyfriend and grinned, “Really Yunho, how dense can you be? You are supposed to be my boyfriend and yet you gave your first kiss to Jaejoong sometime between dinner last night and now. You are asking his father for permission to court and marry him. And, you want to continue dating me? I think champagne has churned your brain cells to chowder.”

Yunho frowned at the words and all he could think of to say was, “Oh!” Then he looked towards Jaejoong and saw his distress. He approached the younger boy who had not stopped whispering behind his hand, “I am not a girl. I don’t want to be anyone’s wife.” Yunho removed Jaejoong’s hand and covered the younger’s lips with his own instead. Then he smiled at the boy who couldn’t have gone any more crimson, “There Joongie, in case you don’t remember my kiss last night.”

Changmin charged at Yunho and pushed him away from Jaejoong before enveloping the blushing boy in his arms, “Yah hyung! Don’t touch my Joongie. You cannot kiss my would-be wife.”

Jaejoong began squirming again in Changmin’s tight grasp and yelled loudly, “I am not a girl. I don’t want to be anyone’s wife.”

“Then you shouldn’t have stolen my kisses. You knew I was saving them for my girl,” Changmin scolded the wriggling eel in his arms.

Jaejoong looked at Changmin in shock, obviously not remembering the events of the previous night. He quickly pecked Changmin’s lips twice and intoned soothingly, “There, I am returning your kisses. You can now give them to the girl of your dreams and marry her. Happy now, Changminnie?”

All of us were whammed by Jaejoong’s actions. He really needed to think twice before his actions landed him in deeper trouble. When all of us began laughing, he was stupefied by our reaction. Sehun separated Jaejoong from Changmin and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, moving him out of reach of Jung brothers, “Joongie, you can’t go around giving or returning kisses. This is serious business.”

“What’s the big deal in a kiss hyung? Umma kissed my lips all the time when I was a baby,” Joongie was genuinely perplexed at the commotion.

“You are not a baby anymore Joongie,” His father tried to make him understand. “Now grow up and tell me which of these young men should I say yes to?”

“I am not a girl. I don’t want to be anyone’s wife,” Joongie repeated for the n^th time. “If they want a wife, tell them to find a girl for themselves.”

Jung brothers moved Sehun away from Jaejoong and each of them wrapped an arm around his waist. Pupppy looked at his nephew trying to squirm away and commanded the teens, “Behave boys or I will send all of you back to Daegu by next flight.” The brothers let go of Jaejoong’s waist and held his arms instead.

Joongie yelled once again, “Let go of me you idiots. I want to marry a girl and have six babies with her.”

“Which girl today will want to carry six?” I mumbled to Puppy but Joongie heard me.

“Ummappa, she will carry three and I will carry the rest,” Joongie gave me an exasperated glare as if unable to understand my dumbness.

“Six children? Are you out of your mind, Joongie? Who wants to have six sniveling brats underfoot all the time?” Changmin was shocked and quickly stepped away from Joongie as if he would pop out three of the said brats in the next minute.

Yunho in the meantime held on tighter to Joongie and yelled to drown out Changmin’s dismayed words, “Joongie, why do you need a girl. We can divide them between us. I don’t know any woman who has had three kids. All stop after one or two. You need a strong man to carry three kids for you. You need an even stronger man to carry you when you are carrying. You will be fatter then.”

Jaejoong turned and began hitting Yunho, “I am not fat. Take back your words you meanie or I will never let you kiss me again.” We shook our heads in hopelessness. Jaejoong’s mouth really needed a filter or a better connection with his brain.

While the two boys argued about Joongie’s weight, Changmin approached Leeteuk once more and very seriously bowed and said, “Sir, I revoke my offer for your youngest son’s hand. It is now clear to me that he is deranged and needs proper treatment. I will learn to live with the loss of my kisses that I was saving for my future girlfriend and wife. However, I cannot live with the thought or reality of being father to half a dozen replicas of Joongie. I apologize if my offer retraction pains you and Joongie. I am going now for breakfast, please let me know how I can make up for the anguish I have caused you just now.” He straightened up and left for the dining room without looking back at the stupefied lot of us. Junsu and Yoochun followed him, still holding hands.

Changmin’s words had broken into the bickering of the two remaining boys and Yunho forcibly took hold of Jaejoong’s hand and pulled him to stand in front of Leeteuk who looked as if he was struck by a thunderbolt. Jaejoong stopped his squirming and stood docilely beside the older boy, his fingers wrapping around Yunho’s.

Yunho smiled at Jaejoong and bowed again to Leeteuk, “Sir, please give me blessings to court Jaejoong and have six kids with him. I promise to always keep him happy. I cannot promise to not fight with him because he is sometimes very stupid and misunderstands my words-”

“Yah Jung Yunho, watch whom you are calling stupid,” Jaejoong’s irritated protest interrupted Yunho’s proposal. “If you continue to call me names, I will make sure you don’t have even one baby to carry on your genes. You will have to bear all the six of them in that case, because my genes are far superior to yours.”

We adults looked at each other and then the two boys who had begun to bicker about the superiority of their genes. We could no longer hold back our laughter and Leeteuk laughed the hardest.

Maybe his sons had finally managed to drive him insane.