Then it came.

Hair pulled, body dragged to a place that was deserted, most likely the rooftop or the empty classroom on level three of the school building. Then it started again, like before, legs raised then came back to the ground with force, stomach bruised, arms and legs scratched, stinging slaps and no ending yells and shouts. Life became a living nightmare – just like as she was warned.

It was back to school once again. The seven hours of unending grunts and whines, the flipping of the books, ugly scribbles on pieces of paper as students takes down noise. Seven hour of counting the passing minute, grinning slightly when the clock would be closed to the home time then it was freedom. The teachers looked lost too, in the middle of a lecture then shaking their heads as they rub their eyes, they too were still in holiday mode. No one was to blame.

Everything looked normal, everything was supposed to be normal, but it wasn’t.

The secrets came out.

Yugyeom’s first; he was an orphan. The name calls started, nobody even caring about their popularity anymore. Unwanted. Trash. Good for nothing

Jeongyeon came next, her secret coming out within a few days after Yugyeom’s; she was a child of a e, father left her and her mum. Within a moment people were looking at her, judging and as if it wasn’t enough, laughed at and poked at. Like an odd-looking sludge of food that a parent presented for dinner.

For the first time Jackson was quiet, he wasn’t happy anymore, he wasn’t dancing silly, he wasn’t making a ruckus, he didn’t do anything, he didn’t say anything and was gone for a little while to god-know-where and when he did, the guy looked like he haven’t slept for days, because he was next – the new target.

His younger brother was disabled, and without a doubt everyone made fun of him, laughed and mocked. It wasn’t funny at all. Why were they laughing? But everyone still acted as if it was labelled as the best joke ever; that Jackson was a joke, his brother was a joke.

And finally, the penny dropped, Bambam was next, his uality came out, his past feelings for Mark. Bambam told them that it wasn’t true, that it was a lie, a mere rumour that everyone shouldn’t believe but the very next day a picture of him kissing Mark while he was asleep was pasted all over the school. Gay boy. Dirty hag

No matter how much he told people to listen to him, to say that it was all in the past there was no use anymore, because the rumour spread so far and so deep that it was uncontrollable. There was nothing that Bambam could do.

There was nothing they could do.

Bambam gave up because they won’t listen to him; give him a chance to explain, to be heard out. But there was no point.

They will never listen.

Funny enough, the secrets that were let out was never known to the group of friends. The group barely talked about their personal feelings, their problems because it was a pain and it only brought the mood down. They were left in such an awkward position that no one knew how to break off the suffocation air.

They all sat down together, in an empty classroom. Some had their heads down because they didn’t have any sleep the night before. Some were just staring at the blank wall, head spinning due to all of the thinking and the worrying. Some – no, most – were just enjoying the peace and quiet because the world on the other side of the door was hectic and tiring.

Mark had his arms around Bambam who told him everything that happened in the past, explaining every single bit especially the kiss. Mark was supposed to feel weirded out but he smiled as Bambam spewed out everything. Bambam sounded more like he idolized him more than a crush, but he didn’t point it out and kept his judgement to himself.

Cecilia was trying to calm Jackson who had his head on his hands, mumbling stuff like sorry. Sorry for running away. Sorry for being weak. But he didn’t need to say sorry because he did nothing wrong. Seeing this made Jisoo nearly cry. She felt mad at herself for not knowing that her friend had such troubles, that she didn’t know any of her friend’s secrets, that she didn’t know their worries.

Nayeon clanked their head together; closing her eyes, letting the younger wrapped her skinny arms around her waist. She felt even worse; she was a leader after all.

Nayeon eyed JB who dipped his head and lowered his eyes to the ground, feeling guilty at what was happening. He didn’t know what to do. His friends were in pain but he can’t do anything about it.

‘Pathetic, what a pathetic leader you are Jaebum’

How could he not know? How could he not even think about having a mini session with his friends to talk about what they really felt, what they really thought; about anything, about life, love, everything?

And he called himself a leader. He certainly didn’t feel like it. He barely knows anything. JB tried to tell himself that it wasn’t entirely his fault, that no one knew anyway, that everyone kept their secrets to themselves. But someone did know. She knew everything.

Yoojin looked at Yugyeom who avoided her eyes. Then she tried Jeongyeon but she did the exact same thing. They must’ve been thinking about something, something that Yoojin knew what it was. She was the only person that knew about Yugyeom’s secret, same with Jeongyeon, Jackson and Bambam, and then BAM! Suddenly the secrets came out and she was the one that knew it.

Of course they would suspect her, of course everything lead back to her, but none of them said anything, not wanting to accuse a friend. Or maybe they were just afraid.

Afraid that a friend could betray them so much. Afraid a friend that they trusted could’ve been the one who stabbed them in the back. The four of them were quiet, or else they really won’t know what they will say when their mouths open.

It wasn’t Yoojin, of course it wasn’t her. Why would it be her? She had thanked them to the very bottom of her heart, she cherished them, she loved them. She could never, ever in her life expose such personal things. Even if she was the one then she doesn’t know how she would be able to walk with her chin up – she wasn’t someone that could ever do something so cruel.

But someone can be that cruel. A person who pays people to stalk others, payed others to dig into other’s personal files, payed someone to wrap the school with photos of someone who betrayed her to get her revenge. Only one person can be so rich and evil at the same time.

 Just reminding herself that there are people out there in the world made Yoojin feel anxious; you really can’t trust anyone, definitely not the person name Sara Li.

Yoojin walked out of the bathroom, clothed in comfortable pyjamas and hair still air-drying as she tapped it with a towel. She looked at herself in the body mirror that she took out of the bathroom and placed it near the doorway of the bedroom.

Gently she lifted it up, old scars and bruises were seen but the new ones seemed to throb painfully, especially the bruise that was created by Sara’s friend’s heels that nearly stabbed her stomach.

Why was she letting herself back into this condition? Beaten up and being bullied but not saying anything about it, to anyone.

She honestly didn’t know. No matter how stupid it sounded she didn’t know but she just lets herself be thrown to the ground and stepped on. Despiteful words were thrown at her and she lets those words control her body.

It’s all your fault they’re like this. It’s all your fault that they’re suffering. Leave before you do more damage, more damage than already been done’

Yoojin first wanted to stand up to them, to get back onto her knees trying hard to forget the burning pain as the bruises started to form and then fight back even if she was numbered. She wanted to yell that she wasn’t a part of the mess, that she wasn’t the one at fault even if her heart kind of twisted knowing that it may be a lie.

 She challenged their gazes and they didn’t stand back, she did the exact same thing. It was all fine before they parted like the red sea and their own goddess came walking down in the very middle with her arms crossed under her chest and her jaw snapping the piece of gum in . Sara.

Sara’s eyes pierced hers and then it blew Yoojin over, realisation finally hit her.

She promised Sara, she broke that promise. She told her she’ll somehow find a way to stop her lingering feelings for Mark but Yoojin was back jumping next to him as if the promise never happened.

Sara told Yoojin her darkest secret, secret that even the guy she liked never knew but Yoojin didn’t even give it a second thought and pretended she never knew about so that she could smile and talk to Mark like nothing was wrong. Yoojin was horrible. It was her fault. She caused this and Sara wanted to let her know, every single day till she couldn’t take it anymore, in every single way till she begged for mercy, till she gave up… on Mark.

A knock came on the door and Yoojin brought her exposed tummy back into its hiding, waiting for the door to fling open. A weak smile was on Mark’s lips as he popped his head inside the room, checking for Ms Baek, to see if she was in sight. Yoojin beckoned him in, giving him a smile of her own. Her mother was going to be late today, she was with Mr and Mrs Tuan to a business meeting with other companies, so it was safe, and the adults weren’t in the way.

“Late night snack Miss Baek?” Mark tried his best to sound like Sehun, but ended up failing miserably.

Yoojin looked at the digital clock on the bedside table, “it’s not exactly late” The clock read 8:39 pm.

Mark threw the plastic bag he brought with him onto the floor rug, sitting himself down beside the mess of unopened packets and boxes, “oh well. More for me”

Yoojin cackled with laughter, “I didn’t say I didn’t want any Mr Tuan. I just simply wanted to remind you that 8:40 isn’t late” It was her turn to mimic and she chose to do Hayoung and aced it flawlessly.

Mark grinned, “you can just… like… vacuum the crumbs later right? I don’t really want to ‘calm down and eat properly’ right now”

Yoojin nodded, kneeling in front of him. Mark already had a packet of pretzels in his hands, trying hard to open it and when it did, the pretzels flew into the sky and landed with mini thuds on the rug. In a hurry Mark grabbed all the pieces that fell and stuffed it in his mouth, slowing down when he sensed the girl watch him in disgust.

“What?” He asked, mouth filled muffling his words slightly, “10 second rule”

After the kiss on New Year’s Eve, Mark and Yoojin slipped into the group of teens who were too busy lighting their own mini fireworks to even notice them there. They were all too caught up talking about ghouls and monster to notice that they weren’t even with them, they were all too caught up with the countdown, arms around each other to notice Yoojin and Mark making up, in their own way.

After that it was like she awoken after being asleep for such a long time. She was happy once again, smiling and laughing and talking to Mark once again. The group looked at each, curious at what made the girl happy but after hearing Mark walk down the stairs to join the group with breakfast, whistling happily and sending a wink to Yoojin when their eyes met; there was really no need to ask questions. They made up.

Some laughed, thinking it was childish that they fought in the first place and made up in a matter of minutes. But most thought it was cute, well obviously with the exception of one who glared at the back Yoojin’s head who was mouthing words to Mark who answered her with mouthing as well. Sara glared at her until her eyes felt dry and she blinked away. She felt used in a way, mad and betrayed. She couldn’t control her temper.

Yoojin felt like she was in heavens once again, being able to freely chat around, laze around and joke around with Mark during the car ride back home.  She was looking forward to seeing her mother again, to have Shiro in her arms as she throw her head back and relax.

“I bet you he’ll come running to me first” Mark challenged Yoojin during the ride, arms stretched on the head of seats. They were chatting about the infamous puppy.

Yoojin snorted, leaning her face towards Mark with a snigger, “um, I think you’ve forgotten that Shiro hates you”

“He does not!”

Yoojin needed to arch a brow at the boy who looked away, acting offended when he was actually just embarrassed because it was the truth.

“Oh yeah? Tell me when was the last time he actually came to you when you asked for him? When was the last time he ate the food that you gave him?” the girl sneered even more, liking the fact that the other’s cheeks flushed red.

Mark fluttered and mumbled stuff that even he didn’t know what it was about. He failed to answer. He failed to retort and spout a comeback so good that it’ll shut Yoojin up for the rest of her life. He lost to her once again.

“Never” Yoojin whispered, answering for Mark then leant back in her seat.

Mark held her hand secretly, closing his eyes. Yoojin looked up at him and grinned, closing her own pair. She really did feel like she awoke from darkness, finally seeing light, finally being happy, finally being herself.

Yoojin lied to herself. She didn’t wake up. She fell asleep and dreamt of a fairy-tale. One that she know it would never come true. She was sleeping, she was imagining, hallucinating, dreaming of a happy life with the person she really wanted to call the one. But it was okay, Yoojin would really be awake – to see that there was no such things as happy endings.

Mark was still stuffing his face with chips, munching and gritting down the food which most of them trickled down on the floor. Yoojin let out a laugh and Mark looked at her, a frown on his face. He could tell that she was about to make fun of him again, and Shiro, who jumped over Yoojin’s legs was going to help him. He waited for her to say something, but she never did. Yoojin scooted closer to him and without any warning she wrapped her hands around his waist.

Mark opened his mouth to say something but Yoojin shook her head onto his chest, “just… just hold me”

Relief washed over her when Mark laughed lightly and did what he was told. The puppy squeezed himself between his owners, not taking the warmth for granted.

Yoojin couldn’t smile at that moment, even if she really did feel like melting. She was too scared at what will happen in the future, what she knows will happen. She was scared at what she’ll do. Scared that she might regret it or accept it. Scared that she will be scarred or be mature and move on.

Yoojin took a peek and saw that Mark was asleep, his cheek pressed onto her head. She knows that her mother would probably see them in their position and ask her question, but she couldn’t care less. She closed her eyes as well, her dream continued even on the dark.

The prince charming was holding the ugly duckling closely, so cared to let go. The ugly duckling wanted to stay but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t her position to do so.

Mr Tuan took off his coat, giving it to Hyerin who waited for the piece of clothing to fall into her arms and then gave it to Ms Baek who was the closest to the coat hanger. Mrs Tuan entered the latest, bidding her goodnights to her tired workers who came with them to the three places they went that day. They went to three meetings that day, met about fifty, if not more people and spent about four hours in each meetings talking and walking down the company. Mrs Tuan felt beaten and just want to fall into deep sleep, hoping that the next day she won’t have to do anything, but then she remembered, she had to go to the bank the next day and sort out some things. Her life was certainly not easy.

 “Want some tea madam?” Ms Baek asked, putting a gentle hand behind Mrs Tuan’s slightly arched back due to tiredness.

 “It’s alright darling, I just want to sleep” Mrs Tuan responded in a hush soft whisper. Mr Tuan smiled at the kind offer of the lady, giving the same response as his wife.

They all bowed to each other and gave their bids of ‘goodnight’ before heading upstairs to get ready for bed.

Mrs Baek went ahead to her son’s room first, wanting to make sure he was alright since she knows that there was something that was going on, even if Mark hasn’t told her anything. Lets just say that it’s a ‘mother’s instinct’.

 She entered the room after knocking on the door, but she was only greeted with dark, empty and cold room. Mark wasn’t found anywhere, she even checked the en-suite, the game room next door and the kitchen to see if he fell asleep after getting late night snacks. A frown appeared on Mrs Tuan’s face when she couldn’t find her son.

“Darling?” Mrs Tuan called her husband who came downstairs to get the USB stick he left in his coat. Mr Tuan looked at his wife over his shoulder, humming as a sign that he was listening.

Mrs Tuan approached her husband, crossing her arms, “did Mark have any plans tonight?”

“No, why? Is he not home?”

“Well, I don’t know. I can’t find him anywhere”

Mr Tuan threw the USB stick into the air before catching it midway, turning in his heels to face his wife, “I’m sorry Hun, I don’t know. If he was out, then he would’ve told us right?” He stepped around her, getting ready to head to his office, “ask Yoojin, she might know something”

“Right, I didn’t think of that…” Mrs Tuan mumbled, heading up the stairs again.

Mrs Tuan knocked on Ms Baek and Yoojin’s bedroom door lightly, before opening it a little bit, poking her head inside, careful that they weren’t sleeping because Ms Baek looked more worn out than she did. “Ms Baek?” Mrs Tuan called, reaching for the light switch on the side, turning it on and when the light went on, her breath hitched.

“Darling? What did Yoojin say?” Mr Tuan had followed his wife and saw her step back from the door, speechless with an unreadable expression on her face. His paces quickened after seeing her face that then he mirrored after seeing what he saw.

Mark was at home, he was alright, sleeping like a baby with Yoojin by his side, with his arms around the girl and hers around him.

Ms Baek who was at the backyard came inside after hearing her name being spoken. “Yes madam?” She asked, slightly terrified that Mr and Mrs Tuan was looking at her, wide eyes and mouth open.

“What’s wrong madam?” Ms Baek was next to Mr Tuan now, and he pointed inside the room. The lady gasped loudly, hurrying in to wake her daughter from whatever she was thinking, but before she could even reach the two, Mark’s eyes fluttered open and he saw his parents and Ms Baek. Mark looked down on Yoojin, who groaned slightly when he moved away from her, taking his warmth with him.

Being a slightly light sleeper, Yoojin woke up as well; her mum slapped her legs and took her arms off Mark forcibly, whispering apologies to the Young Master.

“Mum...” Yoojin started, feeling scared because her mother looked so scared that her breath wavered each release.

“Save it and apologise. Now” Ms Baek told her, using her eyes to indicate that the Tuans were behind her, that they were watching, that they saw everything. Yoojin stood up immediately and Mark did the same.

Mark wanted to apologies as well after seeing the look that his parents had on their faces, he wanted to bow or even kneel while he does so. He wanted to reach out for his parents arms, ready to explain, ready to say ‘let me explain, before they hurry away but there was no point.

There was really no point in wanting to explain when there was nothing to explain, there was no need to apologies when he did nothing wrong, Yoojin isn’t at fault as well. She also did nothing wrong. So he grabbed Yoojin’s hands and hid it behind him, giving her reassuring squeezes, to tell her that it will be alright, he’ll make it alright.

Yoojin attempted to bow but Mark stopped her by pulling her arm, she was about to say something but he cut in, stepping in front of her. Mark gave her a look, a look that says ‘I’ll handle it, leave it to me’ and Yoojin seemed to understand him so she piped up and lowered her eyes, biting her lips when she could feel her mother’s gaze boring into her.

She wasn’t supposed to be with Mark, they weren’t supposed to have a relationship like this, it wasn’t right. Yoojin couldn’t help but to think ‘See, even they think you guys shouldn’t be together’, but she pushed that thought behind because it was scaringly true.

Mark looked at his parents in the eye who calmed down ad was waiting, waiting for him to speak, then he looked at Ms Baek who couldn’t help but to fidget with her hands.

He bowed at the elders, shocking everyone before he spoke, “sorry… sorry you found out this way” Then he straightened up and pulled Yoojin to be beside him again, this time his focus was on his parents who studied his every move, “I like Yoojin. She’s the person that I like. Not Sara. Not anyone else, but just her, just Baek Yoojin”

Yoojin closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking up, if Mark could come out with him, she could too, she should.

“I like him too Ma” Yoojin looked at her mother who closed her eyes, face filled with mixed emotions then looked at the Tuans, “I like your son Mr and Mrs Tuan… I like him a lot” she whispered the last bit, because she hasn’t even told Mark about her feelings so openly like that, but it felt like that time was right. It felt perfect in such a weird way.

“Go to sleep Mark” Mr Tuan said after such a long silence, “you too Yoojin. Did you forgot that you have school tomorrow?”

Mark turned to Yoojin, his ask asked for questions but Yoojin was just as confused. Was Mr Tuan fine with it? Or did he mean ‘sleep no. Let’s talk in the morning’?

In the end Mark left and Yoojin was busy cleaning up after the two teenagers mess. Ms Baek was already in bed, she hasn’t said anything after the incident and Yoojin was scared that she was really mad. She felt that she ruined everything, they were having such a great time in the Tuan’s residence, they gave them everything they need, they were nice to the mother and daughter and this is how she repays them? Yoojin didn’t blame her mum if she really was mad, if she was in her mother’s shoes Yoojin would’ve been md at herself too.

She slipped under the covers, closing the light beforehand. Ms Baek had her eyes closed and body to the side, not facing her daughter but Yoojin had a feeling that she was still wide awake. Yoojin faced her mother’s back, eyes traced around her mother’s small figure, her figure that look so delicate and frail that Yoojin would do anything for her mother not to be hurt, for her not to even have the slightest scratch on her body.

The daughter reached over and pulled the duvet until it covered her mother’s chin, not wanting her mum to be cold in the middle of the night before closing her own eyes to fall asleep. Yoojin sighed lightly before whispering, “I really like him mum. I don’t know what I can do to stop my feelings”

Ms Baek copied her daughter’s sigh before responding, “I know you idiot. I’m your mother for a reason”

Yoojin fell right asleep after slinging her arms around her mum, mumbling a soft ‘thank you’ while she was at it.

The breakfast the very next day was at awkward as it could get, no one barely said anything and Yoojin and Ms Baek didn’t join them like the usual days. Ms Baek was slightly embarrassed with her daughter’s actions, but she didn’t blame her, she didn’t hate her daughter nor was she mad. Mrs and

Mr Tuan barely said anything to their son, which left Mark to eat quietly with thumping heart. He was so confident the night before with telling his parents everything but why did he feel like dying whenever his parents opened their mouth ready to speak because he had a feeling that they were mad since they were giving them a cold shoulder.

“I felt like dying” Mark whispered to her, waiting for his ride to school. Yoojin nodded, understanding his feelings because she felt like crying whenever either Mr Tuan or Mrs Tuan would look at her.

 The glint in their eyes would be enough to freeze up someone. It was so cold and so strong that it will make you crazy if you experience their glance.

Mark left first and Yoojin started to walk to school. Saying goodbye to the Tuans to be polite and her mum who looked smaller than usual since she – as well – was afraid of the Tuans.

The way the day started was like hell but Yoojin never knew that it could get worse, a lot worse; almost like… experiencing hell right before her very eyes. Because then she was the next target. The focus turned to her.

She didn’t even need to go inside the school to know what was happening because the gates were filled with some ripped photos, photos of her. The photos were placed on the gates of the school, pasted up high and down low. Varieties that includes photos of her coming out the Tuans, of her working in the Tuan’s residence –cooking, cleaning, washing, then there was photos of her getting touchy with the members which was mostly Mark and her.

 There was one photo that she could recognise right away, a photo of her and Mark on new years day; of their special moment together. Someone has been watching her every move, following her every step. Yoojin could tell who was behind it. Sara.

The moment she stepped inside the school building, she felt every eyes fall on her, whenever she walked pass people, everyone went silent but she could hear their whispers. . Garbage. Poor. Maid-kid. Dirt. e. .

Yoojin swore she never heard so much swear words and bad words in one full minute as much as she did that day. They called her every bad name that anyone could think of, even if they didn’t make sense.

A foot came out of nowhere and Yoojin didn’t get enough time to react to it and tripped over, on her knees, in front of all the student who wanted to see her fall. Well their wish was granted. Yoojin wanted to shout and yell at the person who tripped her but she knows that won’t do any good. She looked behind her slowly to the owner of the foot, feeling herself go pale when she recognize the face.

“Look time no see you geek” Haneul sent her a sweet smile, bending down to her eye level and then a crowd of girls appeared behind her. Yoojin knew they were the group that tormented her last year, when they accused her of living with the Tuans but Yoojin lied at that time. S

eohee took a small sip of her drink then tipped it on top of Yoojin’s head, watching as the liquid made its way down the girls head and dripped down her uniform with a witch like smirk on her face. A crowd started to form, it was more than just Haneul’s friends, it was all the  student who wanted to see Yoojin get bullied. How sick could people really be?

“You liar” Haneul whispered, digging through her bag  and threw the same photograph as last time in front of Yoojin who flushed red. “Didn’t we warn her last time though?” Seohee looked back at the group’s leader, “it seems as if she forgot”

Yoojin tensed when Haneul tapped on her chin, fingernails grazed down to her collar, “should we make her remember? Let’s be good people and help her, because I think she forgot as well”

Sara walked next to Seohee, looking at Yoojin pathetically, “I’ll help too. It’ll be an honour”

Yoojin gritted her teeth, her balled fist trembled slightly. She could just tell. She really is now about to taste what hell really is, whether she liked it or not.

Author's Note:

Lol, yeah... i have no words about this. I just... yeah... Hahahaha, I'm sorry /hides away/