Yoojin thank the librarian as she helped her place her books inside the bag that the librarian brought. “It shouldn’t break” The librarian patted the bag and checked the bottom, checking if it can handle the heaviness of Yoojin’s stuff.

“Are you going to be alright though?” she turned her attention to the weather outside. “I should be alright” Yoojin jumped at the sudden thunder that boomed on cue, “I just have slight phobia of thunders” upon hearing that the librarian gave her a worried look.

“I should get going” Yoojin grabbed the bag and smiled reassuringly t the librarian.

“You take care okay? Stay undercover!” the librarian hollered after her and Yoojin waved goodbye.

“I’ll be there soon” Bambam called her with many different voices in the background. From the start Yoojin knew that it belonged to his parents. “They’re back?” Yoojin was worried, his parents doesn’t really care about Bambam and his siblings. “Oh… yeah, they are” Bambam replied.

 His father treated Bambam the worse especially after his dad got successful, he got blinded by money. Bambam’s parents fly in and out of Korea, only coming back when their business is done in Korea or when something goes wrong. Hearing from the noises Yoojin could tell that his parents were arguing again.

 Bambam’s father was most likely drunk, his voice slurred and his mother was yelling at the top of her lungs. Bambam’s younger sister was whimpering in the background, she was young and it always scary to see your parents argue, it was understandable.

“I can go home on my own Bambam. You stay there and make sure everything is alright, comfort your sister”

Yoojin decided that it she’ll become a burden, she’s alright going home alone, it wasn’t that scary plus she can handle the books. “No. Stay where you are, I’m heading out the door. Bye” Before Bambam hanged up the last thing Yoojin heard was a door slamming.

 Yoojin bit her lips, was her parents like that too? Did they use to fight every time? She couldn’t remember anymore, she didn’t want to anyways.

 The scary part about Bambam’s parents was that she remembered Bambam’s shaking body when she held him in her arms; he was crying because of his parents, it was always tough on him. She remembered when they were young Bambam got hit by his dad, he never told her what happened in details but just sneaked into her room that night and asked if he could sleep with her.

 Yoojin couldn’t sleep that night because the bruised on Bambam’s face made her feel worried and his tears didn’t seemed to stop. No one really knows about Bambam’s family, no one really know what happens between behind doors, and that goes out to everyone in general.

She stepped out of the shelter, thinking that Bambam wouldn’t be able to see her from where she was. The thunder lessened and it just poured with rain. She stomped her foot on a puddle, creating fun for herself, trying to kill off time.

 “You’re forever a kid” a voice whispered right behind her. Yoojin slightly jumped and turned her head around only to see a paled-face Mark. “What are you doing here?” Yoojin spun her whole body around, examining Mark from head to toe.

His clothes were drenched along with his hair, his eyes as bloodshot, his chest heaved up and down heavily, and cold sweat dripped down his neckline.

“What are you doing? Why are you out here?!” Yoojin was mad, Mark was always careless. Yoojin continued to yell at him, scolding him, telling him to come to his senses, she yelled at him not caring what people think when they go past them.

Mark didn’t listen to her words but just staring at her face. He really liked it when her brows knit together when she yells, he liked it when she always exaggerates her words when she tells him off, he liked it when her hands fly around the place when she speaks.

 He liked the fact that Yoojin’s hair stuck on her face due to the rain, it made her look even cuter, made her look like a lost puppy which is what she always remind Mark of. He liked her lot in general.

‘I’m sorry I realised it to long’

 Mark wanted to bring his to touch her face, to hold her in his arms but he was too tired, too tired to even stand, he felt that his leg would just give in like it did before. “Are you even listening to me?!” Yoojin clicked her fingers in front of his eyes. He looked at it and just gave her a tired lopsided grin. She made a face and stuffed her hands in her pocket, “your acting very weird Mark Tuan”

 ‘I am aren’t I?’

“Thank god you’re okay… thank god” Mark whispered out of the sudden making Yoojin shut up. He let his head dropped down to her shoulder, snuggling onto her warmth.

Mark closed his eyes, suddenly thinking why he did that? Sure he wants to be with her, sure he likes her, but… but… what if she likes someone else? He grew worried that she could hear his heart that’s beating s loud.

Yoojin stood still, still trying to get her head around of what’s happening. She gulped when she can feel his breathing on her neck. She wanted to kick herself, she wanted to hit herself because she was frozen, she was letting him so close to her. But she liked it, a lot.

“Mark, stop” Yoojin finally had the courage to push him of her. “Go back home okay? You’re sick. Take some medicine and rest. I’ll take care of you when I go back home. I just need to meet Bambam” She straightened out his hair. Mark didn’t want her alone with Bambam. He didn’t want her to be with any guy at all, apart from him of course.

 “I like you” He confessed suddenly making Yoojin drop her bag of books. “Don’t you dare joke around” Yoojin whispered, she couldn’t control her heart that was beating a hundred miles an hour. Mark reached for her but Yoojin backed away

 “Mark go home. Now. Please”

 Her voice was pleading him to go but her actions wanted him next to her and her eyes begged for him to tell her more. “I’m honest. I like you Yoojin, I mean it. I like you, a lot”

“No, no, no. This is wrong. Your joking, god please tell me your joking” Yoojin whispered.

Mark was getting fed up for some reason, is it that hard to understand? He liked her, he was honest, he was sure yet Yoojin wants to deny that fact, she wanted him to lie, she wanted to hear him say he was playing around but Mark is not going to do that.

 He looked at her in the eye, “what’s so wrong about me liking you? What’s so wrong about me wanting to be with you? Tell me Yoojin, because I really don’t understand what’s so wrong about it”

“Your engaged Mark, your engage with Sara” She pointed at his hand, “you can’t like me, you cant be with me”

“I think I’ll be the judge of my feelings. And this” Mark held up his hand, “this means nothing to me because it’s not going to happen anyways”

Yoojin dropped down and grabbed all the books that escaped from the bag and cursed when she saw most of them drenched with water. “Look what you did? How am I supposed to study now?”  Yoojin pouted and stood up, “I’ll see you at home okay?” She took out her phone to check the time, “where the hell is he?”

 Mark rolled his eyes at the sight, he was getting madder by the second. “Don’t you dare try and ignore this subject” He stood in front of her again, “I need to see Bambam” She told him firmly and pushed Mark out of the way.

“You really don’t believe me? Even if I run in the middle of the road and shout out that I like you? Even if I announce it at the cafeteria during lunch? Even if I jump of a plane while I scream out your name?”

“Do whatever you want, I don’t care”

“My feelings don’t matter right? I thought so. I was stupid to think that I would have some hope. I was stupid to even think about you having the same feelings as I do” Mark clucked his tongue and nodded.

He was boiling inside, he was angry at himself, he really did mean it. He was stupid. “You were the one that made me go to the dinner. You were the one that told me to be nicer to her even though she always makes fun you”

 Mark continued on talking while Yoojin dropped her head down and took a few steps forward, she was in the middle of fighting herself to turn around, to say that she feels the same way, that she believed him, to tell him not to be with Sara because she was lying about everything.

 She was okay with the thought of them being together, she was not okay about them being engaged. She knows that, she knows she despite that idea to the core.

“I’ll just listen to you and give Sara a try. You’re alright with that right? You must be happy that I’m thinking of making up with her. I hope you’re happy” Mark muttered.

 Yoojin sighed, with a desperate heart she turned around and shook her head, hard, “I’m not okay. I’m not happy”

Mark cocked an eyebrow, “don’t you dare try and confuse me Yoojin. My head feels like it’s about to explode”

“Like my heart right now. It feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest” Yoojin bit her lip and continued, “I don’t like the idea of you marrying her, I lied about the whole thing. Why? Because I needed something to convince myself that you are taken, that you and I can never ever be together. You know what kills me the most? I always think about your childhood with Sara, I was thought about your passed relationship with her, I always think about how much you must’ve liked her to the point you can’t even forgive her because she hurt you so much”

She started just spill out everything, her thoughts, and her true feelings. “I don’t know when it started but I know that I like you. Whenever you’re with me I just feel this tingly sensation in my tummy”  

“The most funniest thing is that I thought I liked someone else but then it just turned out that I missed him like crazy, I just missed his presence, his words, his smile because he was special to me, he was my brother than I wanted beside me, but you, you’re the guy I need to be beside me. I need you near me to feel at ease. You just make me feel so happy even if I tell myself a million times that I hated you, that you annoyed the hell out of me, it’s no use. And then this happened”

 She wiggled her finger at Mark, “you confessed just then and you have no idea how I happy I was that I could’ve laughed at that spot because I couldn’t believe that was happening. I told myself your lying, I told myself not to listen to you but look at me now, I’m spouting all of this nonsense at you and I… I don’t know anymore”

Yoojin watched as Mark started to walk up to her. He smiled at her, eyes sparkled in delight, arm spread out ready for her to run in and share warmth with each in this cold night and she did. “You have no idea how happy I am Yoojin, you like me too, you actually like me” Mark let out a laugh before kissing her head.

 It was a weird hug, Mark’s clothes were cold, their skin was freezing but the aura between the two of them was so warm, it just felt so right.

“If only… if only we could be like this every day” Yoojin mumbled. “What do you mean?” Mark broke the hug to look at her in the eye, “it’s just, I do like you, I really do. But I’m not kidding about being together. That can’t happen, ever. Your parents wont approve, same with my mum, Sara will really hate it and I don’t think I can handle it too”

Mark grabbed her hands and pressed it against his chest. Yoojin blushed when she felt the loud rapid pace his heart was going. “Just as long as both of our heart beat the same beat, share the same feel, I’ll make us happen. Please, just wait a little longer. Hold my hand while we ride this roller coaster together”

 Yoojin hesitated. He was right, there is going to be a lot of people who disapprove, lots of people will hate but nothing really matter except their feelings for each other. There’s going to be a lot of obstacle to go over, there’s going to be some argument, many event hand people they have to go through. But they’ll get there eventually. ‘I hope’ Yoojin thought, ‘I hope we’ll be together in the end’

Mark was still in bed the next morning, his parents yelled at both of them since they were drench by the rain, but mostly yelling at Mark for leaving while things haven’t cleared up yet. Mark feel into dead sleep when he arrived at his bedroom. Yoojin stayed during the night to take care of him until Mrs Tuan stepped in.

 “Stupid fool. He knows he’s weak with rain and cold and now look at him” Mrs Tuan checked his temperature, “he’s running a slight fever” Mrs Tuan sighed and ran her hands through her hair.

 “Go to sleep darl. If you’re sick too then don’t go to school tomorrow, Mark isn’t anyway”

“I’m okay Mrs Tuan, I just have a cold, its nothing big” Yoojin bowed before leaving the room.

“Your dad went to America. He couldn’t take it in here” Mrs Tuan told Mark while she gave him a glass of her along with his medicine. “Oh yeah? Dad’s always a coward, of course he would run away” “honey… he’s still your father. He has a lot in his mind. Please don’t say such things again” Mrs Tuan ran her finger on the ring on his son.

“I’m sorry” She whispered to him but he didn’t seem to hear, “I’m really sorry my son”

Bambam’s POV:

“Im so sorry Bambam!!” Yoojin raced towards me the moment she saw me in my seat. “Why are you here?  Your class is next door” I looked up at her, “I know but I just have to tell you how sorry I am” She grabbed my hand and I lightly tear her grip off.

 After doing that she backed away slightly, “I’m really sorry Bambam”

“It’s okay” I lied.

Of course I’m not okay, how can I be okay right now?

 She started to head out of the classroom when I didn’t make eye contact with her. I felt guilty that I made her sad. I couldn’t stand making her sad, I don’t think anyone can, but I couldn’t help it. I just really couldn’t.

 I was okay with her cancelling our ‘meeting’, I was okay that she didn’t want me the one to walk with her home, I was okay about her calling me out even if she forgot about me. Those things don’t matter, but I can’t handle the reason behind all of that.

Two words- Mark Tuan.

saw everything last night, of course I did. I was there before Mark approached her. I was about to walk up to them but he got to her faster. I stayed behind a building, checking at what they were talking about. I have to say I felt like just running towards them and punching Mark’s face when he confessed, because I already knew her answer.

Of course I knew. I watched the two of them as they argue, I watched as Yoojin watched away, I was still there when Mark was close to giving up. I could tell he was sincere about giving up. I could tell that he would actually back down and go to Sara if she just told him too. Deep down I begged for her to tell him to go to Sara, I wished that she said that but she didn’t. Instead she did the thing that scared me the most, Yoojin confessed her feelings for Mark.

 I already know that she likes him. I told you I was pretty quick at those things but I couldn’t bring myself to accept that she likes him. I was too late, I was way too late. As she confessed to him, as she told Mark everything I had to stop myself to walk over there and take her away. But I couldn’t do it, I felt so weak just watching them.

I clenched my fist when they hugged each other, I knew from then nothing can break them up. Their hearts were one, they finally know about each other’s feelings and no one can break their bond with each other. That was making me mad, because I felt so hopeless and I was having bad thoughts in my head that I didn’t even think of having in the first place.

My fear finally happened that night too, she was finally Mark’s even if they weren’t officially together, her heart is his as well as Mark’s heart, it was now Yoojin’s. Oh how I wanted to be Mark.

When they walk back together, hand in hand, bright smiles on both of their faces, I think that was the time where it really kicked to me. I’m officially nothing anymore, even if I tried to tear them apart, even if I try to force Yoojin to look at me I know that would be useless.

Many ‘if’ thoughts ran around my mind but all of those thought’s answer was the same. There’s nothing I could do now.

Author's Note:

Happy Valentines Day everyone!! I hope you all enjoy this day with the ones you love, or if your single like me (im too young to date anyways) then be happy that the chocolates are on sales (pretty much the only reason why i like valentines day) LMAO, im kidding. Maybe...

MarkSon celebrating VD too early.