I'm Not Okay
Loving Your Disappearance
Taemin's POV:
We're back in our dorm. We all just stand there in shock. We don't know what to do. Finally, Onew hyung speaks.
"We've had a long day. We all should go rest."
We all just nod and go to our rooms. I'm lying down and can't seem to fall asleep. I get up and go to her room. I start walking around look at stuff. There’s her shelf with a bunch of foreign books, pictures of her, with her “adopted” family, the Teen Titans, her kingdom, her, SHINee, Super Junior, EXO, and just about everyone in her life. I see trinkets and other things she either bought or made. She’s an artist. On her bedside table I see a little calendar with writing all over it.
"SHINee concert in Seoul"
"Robin's birthday."
"SHINee variety show appearance."
I keep looking and see today's date. I want to cry.
"My birthday!! :)" is what it says.
Her birthday is today and I didn't even know it. What if that's why something was coming? Could it be the same thing that forced her into our time? No. She could die. Her entire family died from it. They used all their remaining power for her to be reborn into this life. She’s alone. There’s no way she would survive this. No.
I hold her pillow and lie on her bed. I curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep.
…
I’m walking hand and hand with Rosie along Han River. She’s beautiful in her short floral dress. She smiling at me with her gorgeous smile. She turns around and spins like a little girl and I love it so much. I grab her and hug her with my everything. She is my everything. I let go to kiss her. I kiss her full on the lips. I do not hesitate. I will never hesitate. I pull away to look at her but instead I see her on the ground. Dead. Lifeless. I scoop her up in my arms and begin to scream. To her. To god. To the world.to myself.
I wake up screaming and with tears streaming down my face in Minho Hyung arms. I don’t even bother wondering how he got it or how or when he heard me. I just cry, and cry, and cry.
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It’s been two weeks. We had to get back on with our singer lives. As much as I want to just lie down every day, I can’t.
The members try hard to make me feel better but I know they’re also trying to make themselves feel better. None of us are okay. I just finished a fan signing for my future album coming out. I don’t want to do anything solo. I need to support of my members. They’re the ones helping me get through this.
Someone who doesn’t appear to be Korean appears and I smile but they don’t smile back.
“You’re Taemin? The one dating Rosie?”
I nod. He hands me a piece of paper and follows the rest of the line out. It takes almost all of my energy not to look at the letter until after the signing.
Finally, it ends and I’m alone in the dressing room. I pull out the letter from my pocket.
“Rosie is in trouble. I’ll be waiting back at her dorm.”
All the colour drains from my face
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