"When faced with 2 choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air you suddenly know what you're hoping for." -Anonymous

It had been three weeks since the competition ended- which Jaejoong successfully got his triple winning- and Dara was busy, or making herself busy, to distract her from everything. From Jiyong, from her parents from her never ending drama.

The first two week was the toughest week. She had to avoid Jiyong and the curious, judgemental, apologetic look of the students at school. The news must have been spread throughout the school with different kinds of version. Depended on the 'reporter'. There was even a rumor saying Dara was cheating on him and that's why Jiyong couldn't give his best performance at the competition, making the band ended up at the second place. And of course Jaejoong bragged about him being the three times champion of the shows to her.

Dara hated the light spot. Being alone was her sanctuary and she's tired of pretending that she didn't care about the gossip, the stare, the murmurs. It had drained her energy. That's why she chose the library and the roof top of the school building.

Jiyong's unceasing calls and texts had forced her to change her number. And each time he waited for her at the school gate, Bom would have blocked his way and warned him with her fist. He never had a chance to talk with Dara.

On the third week, Jiyong had stopped showing up and chasing after her. And so was the gossip. Maybe because everyone was focusing on the final and university entrance exam. Dara felt a bit relief but somehow she missed how Jiyong would call her when they bumped into each other at the hallway -- when Bom would harshly drag Dara with her -- or when he stood by the school gate so early in the morning and afternoon when the school was over, waiting for her or when that time when he desperately roamed the school just to find her, meanwhile the girl silently watched him from the corner of the laboratory room, which he had just passed briskly without realising the awkward girl who turned away her body when he dashed out from his class.

Thank you to Bom and Jaejoong who always gave her company when she needed them, or when she just wanted to be alone. Well, most of the time when Dara said she didn't want to go out and locked herself in her room, Jaejoong would innocently came to her house, riding his bicycle and shouted her name loudly in front of the gate until she got out. Her grumpy face when she walked out of the house, sat down on the passenger seat and encircled her arms around his waist was enough to make Jaejoong chuckle and happy. They were getting closer and he even taught Dara playing guitar. They often spent their Sunday afternoons at the side of the Han River. Sometimes they just leisurely sat on the concrete ground, staring at the calm water till the reddish horizon touched the river, indicating the sun was about to set.

"Hey, why did you sigh heavily with a gloomy cloud hanging only above your head?" Jaejoong grimaced as he throwing a pebble to the river, creating a plopping sound. "It must be him huh," he added. More like a statement than a question.

Dara bent her knees, hugged them tightly as she pursed her lips.

"Jaejoong-ssi, if someone's begging for your forgiveness and asked for another chance, will you give it?"

The boy heaved a deep sigh, turning his head to see the girl, acting all normal when the truth was a slight pain aching his heart. She had had told him everything about her and Jiyong. Such a torture for him, crashing him over and over and the girl was oblivious to it because he's a good actor. Dara said she was over it, to love Jiyong. And he tried to believe it. But now that she had asked him about a chance to forgive that someone, it's obvious to see how she still cared about Kwon Jiyong.

"I don't know," Jaejoong shrugged. "I've told you once that 'I'm sorry' isn't something you say casually without meaning it."

"Then how you know if the person does really mean it?" asked Dara, looking at the boy whose gaze now was fixed to the river.

"You'll know it," he answered, standing up and dusted off his pants. "Eventually." He looked down at the girl who was looking up at him, smiling as he extended his hand. "Come on. Let's go home."

Jaejoong didn't want to decide anything for Dara. Instead of telling her not to give a damn about Jiyong, he gave it all to her, the decision. To let her figure it out herself. He loved her so much but he's not that blind to take advantage on her confusion. Whatever decision she would make, he made sure he'd be there with her.

***

Her Mom wasn't at home since she called Dara that she had divorced and Dara wondered if she was okay. She had tried to contact her cellphone but it's off. Bom told her that her Mom probably needed time for herself after the divorce.

It was Sunday afternoon at Bom's house when Dara received a call from her Mom, telling her to go home because she wanted to talk with her.

"Maybe she wants to settle some things with you," said Bom.

"Or maybe she just want to throw me out of the house," replied Dara, shrugging her shoulders.

"Aish, just go meet her. Whatever she's going to say to you, don't let it tear you down okay," Bom gave her a tight hug and Dara just could heave a sigh.

***

Dara gingerly entered the living room when her Mom suddenly crashed her with a hug. She almost stumbled backwards.

"Mom. Wha .. what happened?" Dara asked in confusion as she lifted her both hands, hugging her back. Her Mom, Jieun, didn't say anything, she let out a soft sobs on Dara'a shoulder instead.

"I'm sorry," whispered Jieun.

"Mom ... what happened?" Dara's heart was beating rapidly as she caressed the woman's back. She felt something wasn't right.

Jieun pulled back slightly, staring at her daughter as tears messing up her make up. She looked devastated, as if she was in agony and Dara couldn't stand it. Slowly she wiped the tears but they kept running down on her Mom's cheeks.

"Please forgive me Dara. Please." Jieun pleaded and Dara didn't know what her Mom was sorry for. Was it for her mistake for not taking care of her or what?

Dara hugged her tightly. It's the first hug she got from her mother anyway and she wanted to do it as long as her Mom wanted to. Because perhaps, on the next day she wouldn't get a hug from her anymore. She didn't know what had happened to her Mom when the woman was away for three weeks but she was happy that she came back.

Sitting side by side on the couch, Dara and her Mom were lost in their own thoughts. Several times Dara heard her sigh heavily, making her glance at the woman. She looked hurt.

"I'm such a bad mother, bad daughter, bad ... wife," she breathed out, breaking the silence. " Too many mistakes, too many sins. And I wonder why on Earth did I do that?" she whispered, frowning her brows. Her lips trembling as she restrained the tears to escape again.

Dara didn't understand much about what her mother's trying to tell. But she was happy that she opened up about her feeling. That she had a soul, that she admitted her mistakes.

With her heart pounding loudly, Dara slowly sneaked her arms around Jieun's waist, awkwardly placed her cheek on her Mom's chest, listening to her heart beat which was beating as fast as hers. Jieun's body stiffened, feeling the warmth of her daughter's hug.

"Mom. I love you."

Jieun bit her lower lip, so hard that she could taste her own blood. Her vision was blurry as tears rolling down, bringing all the hurt out from her broken heart. Dara, her daughter that she had tried to kill when she's still inside her womb, that she had blamed for her misfortune in life, for turning herself into a monster. A monster who's blinded by hatred. Yet, she said she loved her. What Jieun had expected from her daughter was she would yell at her, tell her how she wished Jieun died and rotten in hell or those harsh words. She had prepared herself for that but not for this. To hear Dara said she loved her had made her hate herself even more and just disappear from this world. But she had a promise. That she would treasure her. It's the punishment Jieun had to get for her redemption.

A mother and a daughter, hugging each other tightly as tears cascade on their face. But it didn't matter. What matter was that the mother had been forgiven, the daughter showed her how much love she had for the mother. Although the mother didn't think she deserved any of it because he hadn't told her daughter everything and she'd probably just take the secreat to her grave. However, they were ready to start a new chapter of their life.

That night, Jieun heard a soft knock on her door. She sat up and walked towards the awaiting person that she had known who it would be. Hesitantly, she turned the knob and creak the door opened.

"May.. I sleep with you?" Dara lowered her head, fiddling with her fingers in nervousness. Jieun smiled and took Dara's hand, making the girl lift her gaze to her. Just a nod from Jieun and Dara smiled brightly.

When Dara was still a little girl, she used to wondering how it felt to sleep with her mom, listening to a bed story before she fell asleep, and then got a good night kiss. Those scenes were played in movies she had watched with her grandma and when Dara asked her if all mothers in the world did the same things to their kids, her grandma's answer was,

" Not really. Some kids are not that lucky to have a mother to do that. But of course their Dad or grandma or grandpa or ..."

" It won't feel the same though," Dara cut her grandma's words as she pursed her lips.

"Good night Mom," said Dara, pulling up the comforter to her chest as she closed her eyes although she wasn't sleepy at all.

"Good night," replied Jieun, turning her head to see her daughter's sleeping face. Rolling her body, she wanted to have a clearer view of her daughter's beautiful feature under the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand. Her eyes and nose were like hers. Her lips and cheek bones were like her fathers. She just realized how much time she had wasted to make her see that her daughter had grown up as a beautiful young lady.

Minutes later when she noticed Dara's steady breath, Jieun scotted closer, caressing Dara's cheek and wiped the loose strands of her brown hair off her face. "I love you, Dara. I'm sorry for everything" she whispered, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

***

"Morning ... Mom," she greeted Jieun softly. She was surprised when she walked downstairs with her backpack on her shoulders, seeing her Mom at the kitchen, preparing some food. She rubbed her eyes to make sure that she wasn't dreaming. A smile brightly spread on her face when she realized it was real.

Dara used to just having a glass of milk or cereal for breakfast. Alone.

"Morning Dara," replied Jieun as she placed the freshly cooked dishes on the dining table. She looked nervous when Dara's eyes followed her every moved as she took a seat.

Staring at the delicious food, Dara happily took her chopstick like a little kid and held it as she stared at her Mom's back. She had been also dreaming about this when she's a little kid, to watch her Mom preparing their breakfast. She then gazed at three empty seats of the concrete wooden table, heave a sigh when she imagined her grandma and her Dad smiling as they also waited for her Mom to join.

"Are you okay?" asked Jieun as she sat down across Dara, taking her back to reality. Dara nodded and smiled. She had to pinch her hand and when she winced in pain, she felt so happy.

'I'm not dreaming. I'm not dreaming! Oh my God , I'm having breakfast with Mom!' Dara was giddy. 'I wish Dad and grandma were here too and my family will be complete,' she pursed her lips.

Silence consumed them, as Dara once awhile stole a glance at Jieun.

"Mom," she muttered softly, making the woman look up at her. "Thank you," Dara lowered her gaze and shoved the rice to to muffle the sob. She's so happy beyond words.

Jieun's eyes still glued to the girl as a faint smile appeared on her face.

Step by step she tried to change before it's too late and everything went to waste. Her mind was finally opened up after that night when she had been reminded about her sins. She had cried and cried until her voice was hoarse. Until she felt like she was tired of crying. She had been forgiven by Dara although maybe at the end she would hate her for the rest of her life when she found out how rotten her Mom's soul actually. Nonetheless, Jieun had promised that she would give whatever she could do to redeem her sins.

Dara admitted that the divorce was a good thing to her Mom, making her spend her time more at home. She looked happy too, especially when her friend Mr. Yoon came over. Jieun told her that h