How long has it been since Jessica's oh-so-called bestfriend had left her? Four years? Is that long already? Jessica didnt know. She had lost count of the days and had grew tired of changing her calendar in her room right after the first year Taeyeon had left.. She just pretended that her bestfriend was still around, that whenever she looks out of the window, her bestfriend will always be standng at the room in front of hers, smiling at her. Every morning after she wakes up, she'd always look if Taeyeon had come back but the room's curtain had remained closed up to this date.

She would always sigh before closing her own curtains before she left her room. Her family had gotten used to the routine, Jessica comes down, eats and prepares for work in silence. Once they asked if Jessica had some problems with her boyfriend, seeing how she's been for the last years but she never said anything. She didnt tell her family, no, not even her friends.

Taeyeon had left a big hole in her life that no one can ever fill in nor replace. She'd always find herself looking for that familar midget in a crowd when in fact she knew so well she'd never find, but still she scanned every place she'd go to thinking that maybe, just maybe, she'd see Taeyeon. For a second, she thought she did but she'd realize that its just a pigment of her imagination, a sudden halluscination that has resulted from her overly missing of the other girl. Sometimes it left her laughing stupidily at herself and there were times she'd shed tears. She misses Taeyeon so much. She never thought that her bestfriend's absence would affect her so much to the point that sometimes she'd ask herself if missing Taeyeon is still reasonable. The girl had left her and even told her she doesnt want to be her friend anymore, Taeyeon made that clear to her but why, why is she still missing her?

Why is she still missing the girl that had cut their relationship and had left her four years ago?

Why is she still missing the girl that had only brought her pain for stepping out of her door and out of her life four years ago?

Why is she still missing that girl that had turned her back on her four years ago but now is in front of her?

Why is she still missing Taeyeon when she's been around her for four hours now?

Why? Just why?

"Are you staying for good?" Jessica tried to strike a conversation but it came out a whisper against the loud music inside the spacious house of her workmate that had invited her yesterday. It was a birthday party, one that's celebrated with alcohol and body grinding music. That said co-worker has a DJ friend and offered them some of her free labor and it turns out it was Taeyeon. Her long lost bestfriend. 

She took a good look at her friend through the darkness, she knew nothing had changed on Taeyeon except for her hair, its blonde now. And it suits her bestfriend so well.

"I havent thought about it. Actually Im just here for Fany's birthday." Taeyeon answered. She was just taking a break and had sat on the same table where Jessica is and was then joined by the celebrant.

"Ohh baby, that mix is so good. You should try doing it on one of your gigs." The celebrant commented as she draped her arms over Taeyeon's waist and truth be told, Jessica didnt like it a bit. Good thing the room was dark that no one noticed her twitching eyes and boring glare that was fixed at those arms around her's bestfriend's body. It was her property, Jessica claimed.

"But I made it for you." Taeyeon said, joining the hands on her waist and squeezed it.

"So how long you two were together?" Jessica querried, as soon as she stepped inside the house, that question had been hanging around inside her mind, seeing how sweet and how passionate the two are and even introduced Taeyeon as her girlfriend, but ofcourse Jessica knew it started in Korea unless her bestfriend came back and she didnt know about it. Tiffany, her workmate or better to say her boss was assigned to her office branch a year and a half ago. Putting all the pieces together, Jessica is sure it all started in Korea.

Tiffany chuckled. "Almost four years now." She answered as she carresed Taeyeon's face. "If it wasnt for that one night I was asked to hang out at a local bar, I wouldnt have the chance to meet this wonderful person." Yeah she is wonderful, Jessica agreed.

Tiffany had answered every questions Jessica had in her head without even asking, she knew her boss was bubbly but she never knew she'd tell everything about her and Taeyeon. How they met, what they talked about, all the things she already knew and some things she didnt have the chance to know. It was too much to take in, Jessica whined internally and hoped that her boss would just stop.

"Ohh so that long?" Tiffany nodded and kissed Taeyeon's cheeks before she went to her other guests.

Silence.

An awkward silence.

Jessica kept on stealing glances over her bestfriend. She wanted to ask so many questions but chose not to. She felt deppressed for no reason. She's upset and she cant even figure out what's upsetting her. She hates it when she cant understand things, just like how she cant understand how their friendship had come to a tragic end. She emptied her glass and went to the bar to get some more. Tiffany sure is rich, a big house with her own bar, throwing a party like this, with a rich bratty girl lifestyle, will Tiffany be able to make Taeyeon happy? Jessica thought as she took a gulp of her drink and had spun around to see if her bestfriend is still on the table but got disappointed as Taeyeon wasnt there anymore and was now grinding onto Tiffany who looks enjoying it so much.

They look perfect. The thought echoed in her head and it triggered something inside her she cant put her finger on. Anger? Hurt? Jealousy? She dont know, but one thing is sure though, she doesnt like seeing her boss all over her bestfriend.

"We're you gay all this time?" Jessica asked, breaking the awkward ambiance inside her boss' car. Taeyeon had offered her a ride when she said she needs to go home cause she's already on her limit and Tiffany had insisted for Taeyeon to use her car instead of riding the public transit.

Back at the party, Jessica let Taeyeon fill in all the questions Tiffany had raised, about how they knew each other and what is she to Taeyeon's life and to her dismay, Taeyeon left the 'bestfriend' part of the story. Being referred as a 'friend', Jessica felt a sting on her chest. Did Taeyeon had really threw their relationship out of her system?

A soft hum was Jessica's answer.

It felt silent.

Too silent that Jessica could hear her bestfriend's irregular breathing.

"Why didnt you tell me?"

"Would it matter?"

"Ofcourse it is Taeyeon, youre my bestfriend. Is that why you broke up with me?"

No answer. The rest of the drive was spent in defeaning and irritable silence.

"Taeyeon?" Jessica asked as they walked towards her house's main door. 

"Hmmm?"

"Dont you really want to be my bestfriend anymore?"

"Would you accept a gay as your bestfriend Jessica? I know how much of a homophobe you are." It made Jessica halt.

"Krystal is gay and Im okay with it."

"She's your sister."

"And youre my bestfriend. I will accept you whatever your gender preference is Taeyeon. So please come back to me?" Taeyeon's heart skipped a beat hearing her beloved friend pleaded once again. Its been four years yet the girl still owns her heart.

"Things isnt really that simple Sica. Ive changed. Im not the same Taeyeon you used to know." Taeyeon confessed and Jessica's brows scrunched up at that. "Ive got to go." Taeyeon was about to turn around and head back to the car but Jessica rabbed her wrist.

"Then let me know the new you."

Jessica didnt know what she had just spurred inside of Taeyeon's head. The thoughts, the actions, the things thats running through Taeyeon's head at that very moment, Jessica has no idea of, but one thing is sure though she wont lose her bestfriend again this time, definitely no, not without a fight.