She woke up with a sore back, having to sleep on the sofa while someone else was occupying her bed. She went home late last night, overly drank with a girl in tow whose name she doesnt know of. She didnt bother to ask, she didnt want to know. Her mind was clouded with lust and her system was filled with alcohol that she cant even think straight. Heck, she couldnt even care less. All she wanted to do was pass the night with someone next to her, but she end up sleeping in her sofa, still. She's drunk yes, but her heart is sober. She knew it wasnt someone who she should be with or someone whom she wants to be with. She was neither of them. And she felt bad, after her high from the alcohol, lust and had died down, she walked out of her room and drank more beer till she fell asleep.

She stretched her arms and neck till its bone made a popping sound as she tried to wake herself up. She was still , not able to find her clothes last night before she went out of her room.

"Someone called you, you werent here so I answered it. Said for you to call her back." The girl whom she cant even remember the face said and was almost done putting her set of clothes on when she opened the door. Once done, the girl kissed her on the cheeks and seductively whispered to her, "Last night was awesome. Thanks." And then she was left alone again in her apartment and as if she only realized that she still has no clothes on, she suddenly felt cold, she took an oversized shirt from her drawer and donned it on.

She sat on th edge of the bed and took her phone from the table. As expected, it was Tiffany. She was hoping it was another girl, someone that goes with the name of Jessica. Someone who could make her heart flutter even if she wasnt really the one she was saying 'I love you' to. Someone who could break her heart a million times and can still get away with it. Someone whom she was so god damn wishing and praying to all the gods in the Heavens to be hers, but unfortunately, she mightve been very bad on her previous life cause her prayers wasnt heard or maybe it wont ever be heard.

Was really being gay a curse? Was what she always ask to herself and she sometimes think that her being one-sidedly in love with her own bestfriend for years was her karma. A very bad karma.

And she's sure she's getting more of it cause she's playing someone else's hear, a not-so-innocent yet pure heart.

She dialed Tiffany's number and waited till her girlfriend picked it up. She waited till Tiffany talk, say something or curse, or anything. Its easier for her to take in than Tiffany being all silent to her. She never did like it whenever the girl doesnt talk. Its like all the guilty feeling washes over her without having Tiffany telling him what she did was wrong. Tiffany is that person that she has never seen get angry but she'd rather have the girl yell, scream and throw punches at her than be cold and not saying anything. 

It was her who broke the deafening silence.  "Im sorry." Was what all she could muster to say. She heard the person on the other line breathe a deep sigh.

"Its okay. It happens. Im not there. Its inevitable. I understand." Those were said in between deeps sighs. 

"Tiff.. You cant always do this."

"What do you want me to do then Tae? Be hysterical over something thats already happened?" Tiffany's voice was calm yet it caused Taeyeon's throat run dry. "It wont make any difference, and besides, Its not the first time you did this."

"Im sorry." Taeyeon doesnt know what to say anymore.

"I told you, its okay. I understand that you have needs too, and me being here wont help either. I never asked for you to change Tae, I never did. All I want is for you to respect me even once in a while. Cause its unfair that youre always thinking of someone else when youre mine."

Taeyeon pulled some strands of her hair. She  knew that Tiffany was just being honest of her own feelings. After being friends for almost two years before they got together, Taeyeon had never heard Tiffany talked about her own feelings. The girl did say that she's better with actions than words and Taeyeon believes that and now hearing Tiffany said that, she felt even guiltier than ever.

"I know for you were not that exclusive Tae, but please, do think about my feelings too. Even once in a while. Or is it too much to ask?"

"Tiff, Im trying to change for you. I really do."

"But you just cant, right?"

Silence. A very deafeaning silence.

And Taeyeon swear her ears were already hurting, alongside her heart.