She woke up with her phone's alarm clock buzzing through her pillow. She didnt hear the sound but the vibration woke her up. Her head throbbed resulting her to hold and massage her temple.

10 am.

She remembered why she had set her alarm like that. She's going to church with her family. Reminding herself to lessen her drinking alcohol-nights, she sat up and rubbed her eyes to wake herself more.

"What the hell?" She screamed, echoing inside her room. As soon as she unlocked her phone, the first thing she saw was her call register and taeyeon's number was the first in her list.

"Oh no.." She bent her body forward,sinkng into her bedsheet, burrying her face in it. At that very moment, there's nothing she wants to do but disappear.

The thing she hates when she's drunk is that she does things she doesnt rememeber when she's sobber. And now, she thinks that she mightve said something to Taeyeon which she hopes not something that could ruin their already broken friendship. She's trying to get her bestfriend Taeyeon back but it'll be harder if she said something that should be left unsaid.

"Oh my god.. What should I do? Did I tell her? Oh this. This is all Krystal's fault." She cursed out loud, tears now streaming down her face. It annoys her that she cannot remember anything from last night other than her being with some of her co-workers and her drinking herself to death. And she's blaming her younger sister, if only Krystal didnt give her Taeyeon's number, she wouldnt have made that stupid drunk call.

She heaved a long and deep breath, relaxing herself. "Okay,its not good overreacting this way. I dont know if I did make the call. I mightve just pressed it and ended it even before she answered." She looked at the phone and she grunted, seeing that they indeed talk for almost 5 minutes. "Damn it. We talked. We ing talked. What did I tell her?" She jabbed the pillow in exasperation before letting herself fall on her mattress again, sighing to herself. "I need to know what I told her." She held out her pone infront of her, staring at the screen where Taeyeons name is visibly flashing on it.

Its been a month since the girl flew back to Korea and Jessica felt more emptier than the first time Taeyeon left. She couldnt concentrate at work anymore and everytime she looks at her boss, the image of her and Taeyeon kissing invades her mind to the point that she makes excuses just so she wont have the need to see her boss. Looking at Tiffany only makes her realize that Taeyeon is indeed already taken by someone else.

She's still not sure when it happened. It must be that time they saw them kissing, or probably when Taeyeon left or even way back when Taeyeon was still her bestfriend.. She's not really sure.. She just woke up one day crying after dreaming of Taeyeon having with Tiffany and thats when she knew why she still wants the girl in her life. Why it hurts her to see Taeyeon being so sweet with Tiffany. Why she's jealous. Why she's still holding on to Taeyeon. A lot of why's she asked herself before that now she has all the answers to.

Its all because she's in love with Taeyeon.

​She mightve been in love with her bestfriend all along and only now that Taeyeon already belonged to someone else that Jessica had realized that but she doesnt want to admit it. She doesnt want Taeyeon to know but at the same time she wanted to.. She wanted to know if what Krystal assumed before was true.. That maybe at some point in their friendship, Taeyeon treated her as more than a friend. And that same feelings have resulted for Taeyeon breaking up their friendship.

Jessica thinks that it all fits and it only made sense but she can be wrong too, so she doesnt want to assume and think ahead of herself. She needs to ask Taeyeon about it first yet she's afraid what the girl would tell her. Its either a yes or a no but Jessica knew both answer would only hurt her. If Taeyeon says no, then she's stuck being in love with her and if Taeyeon says yes, then she's too late cause Taeyeon definitely had moved on already. She got Tiffany now, so wanting to know Taeyeon's feelings towards her would only mean heartbreak for her.

"Did I tell her?" She covered her face with her palms. "No.. she cannot know that.." She exclaimed as she pushed herself to sit again, decided that she's going to call Taeyeon to confirm that she didnt say anything about her feelings. She almost threw her phone when it rang and Taeyeon's name was flashing on the screen. Her heart started pounding so hard and thought twice if she's going to answer but she cleared and pressed the green button. Here goes nothing.

"He-hello?" She facepalmed herself for stuttering.

"You called last night, youre drunk again. What happened?"

She didnt know what exactly to answer and she was stumbling over her own words. She wanted to say she misses her, she loves her and she needs her but stupid mouth she has, she suddenly spat out, "Taecyeon." Stupid. Stupid. STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIID.

"I knew it. What.. What did he do this time?"

"Nothing.. I dont know anymore Tae.. I feel so.. lost."

Silence engulfed them.

There's so many things Jessica wanted to say, so many things she wanted to ask, so many things she wanted to clear between them but she never found her voice and ended up listening to Taeyeon's breathing on the other line. She almost jumped when the girl talked again, "So..I have to hang up now Sica, Ahmmm take care of yourself. Bye."

Jessica held her phone to her chest, tears falling down her cheeks as she mumbled out those words she wanted to say but couldnt. "Im in love with you Taeyeon."