"No.. No.. No.. Why the heck did I even do that? Why did I even tell her? Why.. why.. why?"  Jessica had been conversing herself for days after the incident that happened at Yuri's bar. She didnt know what's gotten into her and why did she kissed Taeyeon and what made her say her feelings. All she knew was that time when Taeyeon was all being jealous, her body acted on its own and her lips already found its ways to Taeyeon's. She wasnt drunk, no, she didnt even drink anything that time yet she felt she was, a bit intoxicated by Taeyeon. And as soon as she realized the words that she breathlessly confided to her bestfriend, she left the bar and run off. She ran away and had avoided being confronted, till now.

Jessica asked for a sick leave with a reason that she is, well, sick and wont be able to go to work for days. But she knew it wasnt really because of that, yeah sure she's been restless for days, exhausted even without having to leave her bed for days and laze around thinking of what she had done and what will happen now that the truth was out in the open. She had refused visitors as well, there were times Taecyeon came to talk to her for a second chance but just like what she had said before, "We're over." still stands and Jessica doesnt think it'll ever change cause now that she had finally admit it to herself, she loves Taeyeon more than she loves him.

She didnt know how it happened, she just one day woke up and she has no feeling or whatsoever towards Taecyeon and had finally forgiven him for the things he did and she doesnt have any grudge at all, she's even wishing him and his future child to be well. The idea of him cheating on her, doesnt hurt at all anymore. It might be because she love him but she's not really in love with him and the fact that she already realized that she is with Taeyeon finalizes that she's really over with his ex-boyfriend and everything theyve been through was now all a aprt of her precious memories thats need to be kept and cherish.

"Mom, Im not hungry." Jessica said, covering her head of her blanket when she heard a knock on her door. " Mom, I said Im not hung.."  She abruptly sat up when she heard the door being opened. "gry." Her voice break a little when she saw the girl she had been trying to get away from for days standing by her door, holding it open.

"We need to talk." Taeyeon's voice was firm, making it known that she wont let Jessica get away now. The only thing she wants to know right now was why Jessica kissed her and what did she meant when she said she's in love with her.

"There's nothing to talk about."  Jessica said and covered herself again with the blanket. "Go away."

"Sica please, we need to talk. You need to explain things to me." Taeyeon's voice was softer now and Jessica knew Taeyeon was walking towards her bed, making her heart thump inside her rib cage.

"I cant.."  Jessica started but end up saying nothing,. How is she to explain if she knew she's to late? She wants to know if Taeyeon loves or loved her but at some point she's scared too. She's scared to know that Taeyeon did love her and now is too late for her. And to know that Taeyeon still loves her but they cant do nothing about it cause they know they'll hurt Tiffany, something Jessica doesnt want to happen. She wants to know yet she doesnt. And the what-do-next was something she hasnt figure out herself.

"Did you really mean it?" Taeyeon pulled the blanket and Jessica didnt resisted and had let the blanket slips down her upper torso till she was fully out of it. "Did you.. Are you really in love with me?"

"Does it matter?" Jessica asked, her voice has never been low than what it is now.

"Yes, it does. It matters to me, a lot." Jessica felt the side of the bed sink and she knew Taeyeon sat on it, she sat up, her back facing the girl.

Jessica knew trying to avoid the confrontation thats about to happen was no use. Its either now or never although she knew the result will greatly change her standing in Taeyeon's life. She just came back as Taeyeon's bestfriend and she doesnt want to be out of her life again either her feelings were acknowledged or not.

 "I have no idea when it happened, I guess Im already in love with you when we were kids, its just that Im so dense even with my own feelings and Ive been blinded with Taecyeon's as well. But when I see you after four years and knowing youre gay and already with Tiffany, everything made sense to me. The longing, the pain, the jealousy of both having you near me and seeing you with her all made sense to me now. I.." There was a long pause and Jessica turned around to see Taeyeon's face intently staring at her, eyes were searching, waiting. "I love you Taeyeon." Jessica waited and watched Taeyeon for any reaction and when she got nothing, her heart sunk in pain and disappointment. Atleast I tried. And when she was about to let herself fall on the softness and comfort of her bed, feeling rather weak after the confession, she found herself being nursed in Taeyeon's arms with her back securely pressed against her bestfriend's body.

"You dont know how I wanted to hear you say that." Taeyeon's lips were dangerously close against her ear and she could feel goosebumps ran along her spine with how sweet and sensual Taeyeon talked.

"Taeyeon?"

"Hmmm?"

"Did you.. Did you loved me too?" She asked hesitantly, her voice was softer and lower she had ever had.

"I dont think there's been a day I ever stopped loving you." Jessica let herself get lost in Taeyeon's tight embrace. And for a moment there, she had forgotten everything, about Tiffany, about the fact that what theyre about to do next is wrong.. Yes its wrong, but for the both of them, as Jessica turned her head around again to face Taeyeon who was as intently as before staring back at her and their lips met and collided into a longing-wanting filled intimate kiss, it felt so right.

She couldve prevented it from happening but she's done running away. She's done pretending and avoiding.  She cant resist her own feelings anymore and she thinks Taeyeon's either as well.

Ohh good Lord what have I done? *facepalm*