"I..I have cancer."

 

I could not believe it. I don't know whether to cry or be angry. I felt nothing. No. I felt something, but I didn't know how to handle it. The pain inside me was excruciating. At that moment, I didn't want to look at Yul. How could she keep something like this from me for more than 3 years? How was she able to go through every day with me and not mention anything about her sickness? My whole body felt numb. Tears couldn't help but fall.

 

"I'm sorry, Yoong. I didn't want to keep this from you. I was so scared of losing you."

 

"How... how Yul.. how could you let this happen? We've been together for so long.. and you never mentioned anything about being sick or feeling weak?"

 

"I didn't know how to start it. I tried. I swore I tried to tell you. But I just couldn't find the courage to."

 

This is one of those moments wherein I can't control anything anymore. I will do whatever I feel like doing. So what exactly did I do? I sat on the floor and cried.. and cried... and cried. Yuri hugged me and my back, telling me to calm down. 

 

"Babe, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't.. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm sorry for doing this to you. I love you, Yoona."

 

That made me cry even more. I was happy she said that she loves me, but I'm sad as hell and the pain won't stop. Even her simple words of love couldn't stop the pain. I guess it was too much for me to handle.

 

Sooyoung unnie and Amber came as soon as they heard me cry. I cried so hard that it was too loud already. I knew there were fans following us (and probably reporters too), but I didn't care anymore. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout. I wanted it to stop. 

 

"Yoona yah, please calm down. I know this is all hard for us, but you have to calm down! Are you breathing properly?!"

 

I couldn't hear them after that. Sooyoung unnie's voice somehow faded after that. All I could hear was the sound of my tears. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoona??

 

Yoong?

 

Yoona yah.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I slowly opened my eyes. I was surprised to see myself inside a hospital. After what happened in Amber's apartment, I couldn't remember anything else. I must've passed out or something.

 

"Yoona yah, are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine, Sooyoung unnie. What happened?"

 

My voice seemed to echo because of this device attached to my mouth. Yes, it's an oxygen mask. 

 

 

"Well, you cried a lot. After a few minutes, you had difficulty in breathing, then you passed out. We were so worried. I'm so glad you're okay now. I know it hurts to know, but take care of yourself too."

 

"Sorry unnie. I just didn't know what to do that time. I was helpless."

 

"It's alright. As long as you're fine."

 

"Umm.. where's Yuri?"

 

"She's outside. She doesn't want to come in until you're ready. She's scared that you might cry again when you see her, so she chose not to come in unless you say so."

 

"Oh. Well, I guess I'm okay to talk. I mean, I basically finished all my tears back there. By the way, is Amber still there?"

 

"Yeah, you want me to call her?"

 

"Yes please. Oh, and tell her to come with Yuri...thank you."

 

I can't believe I actually passed out because of crying too much. I hope my asthma didn't get any worse too. 

 

"Hello Ms. Im. My name is Doctor Jang. How are you feeling?"

 

"Hello Doctor Jang. Well, I'm feeling alright. A little tight in the chest, but good."

 

"Yes, well it's normal to feel that way right now. It may sound odd, but your asthma was triggered because of crying too much. I don't want to ask you what you cried over but just a reminder to take care of yourself Ms. Im. It's nothing sever right now, but if this happens again, it can be dangerous. I suggest you go back to your medication. I advise you to rest for 3-5 days. Alright?"

 

"Yes Doctor. Thank you. I'll take care of myself more."

 

"Alright, I'll leave you for a while. Just push the button for any assistance. The nurse will come right away."

 

"Thanks again, Doc."

 

I didn't know that crying could be this severe. I guess I wasn't able to control my feelings well. I need to see Yul.

 

"Hey Yoona, are you okay? How are you feeling?"

 

"I'm fine, Amber. Thanks. Sorry for the trouble too. I made such a fool out of myself back there."

 

"Hey, dont' worry about it. What I'm really concerned about is your health. Refrain from being sad alright? I'll have to make you laugh every now and then."

 

"Thanks Amber. You're the best."

 

"Anything for you."

 

"Um, where's Yul?"

 

"She's scared to come in. Should I tell her to come?"

 

"Yes please. I'd like to talk to her."

 

Yul came in and I could see that her eyes were swollen from crying too. I couldn't help but shed a tear.

 

"Yah.. I shouldn't have came in."

 

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Just... seeing you like this."

 

"Yoong, I'm sorry for everything. For doing this to you. For lying all this time... and for failing to be a good girlfriend to you. I should've done this when it was still early. I was just scared. Please understand me."

 

"Of course I understand you, Yul. You know, just forget about what happened. What I'm concerned about right now is your health. We need to get you into therapy. Yuri yah.. please promise me you'll get better."

 

"I promise. I'll fight.. I'll fight hard for you and the unnies."

 

"Did you tell the unnies yet?"

 

"Not yet. I didn't tell manager oppa either. I'm really scared Yoona. What if it's too late? What if.. you know.. I---"

 

"Don't say it. Nothing's gonna happen to you, okay? You said you'll be strong and fight hard."

 

"Okay Yoong. Umm... are we okay now? Am I forgiven?"

 

"Yes you are. How can I not forgive you? I love you more than anything else in this world."

 

"Will you be mine again, Yoona?"

 

"I'm yours forever, Yul."