▲▼ CHAPTER 33 // AN HONORED VOW

(A/N : Do not try to attempt any of the potrayed images in this chapter. If you do so, do it at your own risk.)

     For the past few weeks, it was unbelievable that Ilsung's visit to the cafe was cut down. Other than that, you had also taken the time to push your working schedules more to the morning shifts. Due to the free time during the evening, you had taken the chance to find an apartment. You did not want to take the risk of renting one anymore as it is tedious since you were only working one job and the cafe was not paying much either. Staying up in the evening finding suitable apartments also meant lesser time with Daehyun which you cherished the most. Both of you had been busy with your own stuffs and you rarely had time to catch up with him. You sighed, ripping off the tip of the envelope with just a finger. Sliding out the piece of paper, you sighed again - but with much relief. A notice from the landlord came, approving your bookings of the house that you had decided to live in. You held the piece of paper between your finger, this is the beginning for you. For the first time, you had to live on your own without having anyone to depend on. You had already paid the deposit of the apartment and it would take at least a few weeks till you are able to move into your new place.

         A soft knock came from your door and you reckoned that it was Daehyun. He poked his head through the open space, a small smile spreaded across his face. "Can I come in?" He questioned as you nodded, patting the space onto your bed. He closed the door behind him, biting his lip and taking a seat onto the bedside while you quickly took away the letter. You have not planned on telling him yet that you were going to move out. You just thought it was not the right time yet. He fiddled with his fingers, massaging his knuckles and glancing towards your face. "Are you alright?" His eyes glinted towards you and you just nodded, shrugging your shoulders. You did not felt happy, neither did you felt sad. It was a feeling that was hard for you to put it into words. You opened your mouth slightly, "I guess I'm just trying to grasp everything while I can." Daehyun bit his lower lip, he understood what you meant. All of the chaos that had been happening in your life was definitely hard to accept.

         "Daehyun, do you think I'm crazy?" Your eyes narrowed towards his angelic face. You meant the words that slipped off your tongue. You really wondered if you were crazy for a moment. The still silence took over the whole room and you shivered. You were unexpectantly nervous for his answer. Daehyun then shook his head swiftly. You glared at him, giving the look of disbelief and he shook his head again. He shifted in his seat, moving closer towards you.

         "Hearing voices inside your head doesn't mean you're crazy. I know it's hard for you to handle but no, never have I thought that you're crazy." A small wave of relief washed over your entire body. But then you bit your lower lip, sighing yet again. How can you get rid of the voices? You wanted to win against it. Thinking about the recent incident that you had with Ilsung, it seemed that you would be harmed anytime soon. Daehyun saw your slightly agigated face while he took the courage to place his fingers onto the tip of your chin. He pushed your chin upwards gently so you were able to see his face. "It's going to get better." You hoped it would. You nodded, squeezing Daehyun's hand slightly. You believed him, you always had. The night came to an end and it was surprising how you were able to fall asleep so easily that night. The sound of the familiar honey-like voice and humming soothed your ear and definitely calmed your nervously beating heart. Daehyun accompanied you through the night with his lullaby until you fell asleep. As the moonlight reflected onto your angel-like face, he sighed. Oh how he wished that he would take your place in this whole chaotic state instead. He would do anything to keep you safe, and that was a vow that he had promised to himself. Leaning in towards your duey face, he puckered his lips and landed a small kiss on your forehead before tucking in for a goodnight sleep.

         As the scorching light from the sun entered the room, your eyes blinked profusely to steady your own vision. Sitting up, your head was spinning and you felt topsy turvy. There was a strain right on the back of your neck and your head was aching badly to the point you thought it would detached itself. It felt like you just had a hangover. As usual, you took a cold shower to freshen up your morning and slid into your perfectly ironed uniform. Turning the doorknob, you made your way to the kitchen to have a light breakfast. Light snores were heard which came from the living room. You poked your head right behind the pillar and saw how Daehyun was cuddling under layers of blanket. His head was half submerged in the blankets and he looked like a small puppy. The scorching sun rays that seeped through the window overcasted a huge shadow of Daehyun's tanned body. You let out a small smile, walking towards the window to close the velvet curtain and allow Daehyun to make up for his lack of sleep. Before leaving, you decided to make him breakfast, cooking up a batch of eggs for omelette and some sausages together with perfectly toasted peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

         With a satisfying heart, you made your way to your workplace with much deliberation. Lucky for you, the day went smoothly as there were not much customers huddling around the counter. But as usual, your never ending work kept piling as a waitress, taking orders and rushing to the other side of the cafe. The day ended in a flash which was something that you were grateful about. Walking down the stoned staircase, you walked through the bustling city - roaming around without having any intention. It was too early for you to head back home and you thought you needed some fresh air to clear your corrupted mind. You walked into a supermarket, intending to grab a few snacks to fulfil your grumbling stomach. Walking through the aisle of the supermarket, your eyes then landed to a certain section. Packs of different boxes of cigarettes were neatly arranged onto a secluded clear box.

         There was a weird magnetic attraction, pulling you towards the section itself. You browsed through, eyes narrowing to the different packages and deliberating whether you should get one. A few men that were roaming around the aisle itself picked up similar brands of cigarettes. You too decided to take a box, browsing through it's box. Nothing seemed fascinating other than the horrifying image plasted onto it's cover that showed an amputated leg that had been infested. Without wasting your time and before you knew it, you were walking towards the long queue to pay for the box of cigarettes. After paying and going through the whole inspection to make sure that you were in the 'legal age' to smoke, you went straight to the park that was known for their blooming cherry blossoms.

         Loud chirping sounds came from the birds were making themselves comfortable around the whole park. Meanwhile, different walks of lives were also roaming there way around the whole cherry blossom park. The lively sounds of laughters coming from the toddlers simply rang into your ears. You stood behind the railing before the huge lake and stared into space. Then sliding your hands deep into your leathered jacket's pocket, you took out the box of cigarette that you had just purchased. Fiddling with the package, you sneakily took one stick out and sniffed it. Sliding your hand once again into your pocket, you took out the lighter which you also purchased together with the cigarette. Holding the stick of cigarette in between your forefinger and middle finger, you tried to hold it in place to aim the lighter.

         You placed your thumb onto the lighter and flicked it downwards, showing a bright and fiery flame. Slowly, you held the lighter nearer to the edge of the cigarette to light it up. It took for a few seconds for the edge of the cigarette to be lighted and in an instant, you could smell the smoke that it gave off. It was unpleasant but yet you were starting to get addicted to it. During the first puff, you choked yet again as the smoke unwillingly entered through your lungs. You coughed vigorously, slapping your chest as hard as you can, thinking that it would eventually get rid of the trapped smoke. The more air you took in, the more suffocated you felt and your chest was by now aching so badly. Eventually, you got the hang of the whole process. Slowly taking a huge breath, you placed the cigarette onto your lips once again and attempted to give off another huff. Luckily it came out well, you weren't choking anymore and you started to continue. There you were, standing right behind the railings in the park, already taking your first puff of cigarette and you felt good about it. Letting out the smoke was weirdly a pleasant expression.

         You did not know what it was but you felt refreshed and calmer after taking one puff. You hated it but then you liked it too. What Jaebum had said was true. When you blew out the smoke, it felt as if you're free from problems. Smoking itself felt like a certain freedom which allows you to clear your troubled thoughts. It was similar to a short getaway from your problems.

         You continued on, in the smoke and exhaling it out with all your might. This felt good and for once, you felt that you were a grown up. When you were done, you threw the cigarette bud onto the cemented floor and squished it using your foot to die out the small flame. You started trudging away from the park and walked back home. As you slid in the key into the keyhole, you were greeted by a powerful aroma that encircled the whole living room. "Great day at work?" Daehyun's voice was heard from the couch as he was slouching, absorbing himself into the television. You placed your bag inside your room and placed the key onto the dining table. "What's that smell?" A small crooked smile was pulled from the end of Daehyun's mouth as he stood up, running towards the kitchen. "I'm cooking dinner. Thought it would be helpful since you might be tired after a long day at work." He hollered from the kitchen as the sizzling sound of the frying pan was heard.

         You knitted your eyebrows, Daehyun was cooking. Daehyun was cooking. Daehyun was cooking?

         You never thought he would have the ability to cook. You always imagined him burning down the kitchen but the pleasant aroma that lingered through the apartment proved you wrong. After a long day at work, you took the chance to indulge yourself in a long hot bath. The lukewarm water tingled onto the surface of your body after dripping itself from your wet hair. It felt good to have long showers as it helps you to clear your mind. Right after bathing, Daehyun was ready to prepare his dinner. You helped out by setting up the dining table since Daehyun had insisted that the dinner was a surprise.

         Everytime you tried to sneak into the kitchen, taking a peek at his ongoing cooking, he would instantly push you out and threatened that he might not serve your food. Of course as a gluten, you had to listen to what he said and behaved to ensure that your food will soon arrive. "Doesn't it smell nice?" Daehyun  hurried out from the kitchen, holding a baking tray of steaming food and set it down onto the dining table. You cocked your head to the side slightly, "Who knows it tastes yuck." You teased as Daehyun sent you daggers. You peeked into the steaming baking tray and was able to smell the aroma that was to die for. As the food entered your mouth, you could taste the immediate melting of the cheese and for sure, you loved it. "Mac & Cheese, it's my fav." You moaned slightly and continued to dig in. Daehyun smiled, he knew you were going to like it despite of his lack of cooking skills. The way you continued filling your stomach to more of the Mac & Cheese, he definitely felt a wash of excitement. For once, the both of you were able to eat peacefully and it almost felt like a candlelight date.

         Daehyun's stomach then twisted a knot as he reached for the thin envelope that was placed at the corner of the dining table. He slowly allowed it to slide across the table and pushed it towards you. He pursed his lips tightly and bit his lower lip. His eyes flashed towards you unwillingly. "Are you really moving?" You heard his soft voice that had a hint of sadness calling out towards you. You stopped eating, putting your utensils back onto the plate and held the envelope into your grip. By reading the front section of the envelope, you knew what it was and a sense of guilt washed over you. Daehyun glanced at you and waited for your answer. You kept still and quiet, not knowing how to break the news.

         Your nostrils then flared, "Were you in my room? Why were you going through my things?" The once guilt expression turned into slight annoyance which ticked off in a matter of seconds. Daehyun's grip on his spoon tightened and you saw how he flexed his muscles and the veins from his wrists were more prominent than ever. "Answer me. Are you moving?" You were slightly taken aback after listening to his husky voice that seemed threatening. You bit your lower lip and hung your head low in embarrassment. "Why, why didn't you tell me? Why are you hiding so many things from me?" He said and you felt betrayed. It seemed as if he never did understand your situation.

         Your eyes shot back at him while you held the end of the tablecloth using your fingers."I wasn't planning to tell you then. Thought that it wasn't a good time yet!" You raised your voice slightly as the agitation took over you. "Why are you even concerned about me moving?!" That was it, you stood up from your seat and stomped your way to your bedroom. You felt the agitation crawling deep into your body and it felt unreal. Your moodswings were going out of hand but all of the anger that you had kept went out of the window even if you were slightly annoyed.

         Daehyun ruffled his hair in frustration and held the roots of it, grunting under his breath incoherently. Why must he be so harsh? He knew you needed space but after knowing that you were moving, it seemed as if he did not want to let you go. He sighed, he felt that if you were to move, everything that the both of you had would merely go down the drain.

         ......And he did not want that.