▲▼ CHAPTER 29 

Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

     You shuddered in the cold as the shivers came running down your spine yet you did not sweat. Another cold gush of air came slapping across your face as it jolted you awake, your eyes scrutinuzing the whole area only to realise that you were engulfed in a huge mist. Maybe not a mist, but more of a thick cloud of fog. The area seemed isolated and as far as you knew, you were all alone. Your pulse started beating faster from a lower rate to a much faster one, the panic struck you as you saw how alone you were.

         The thick fog came to surround you once again as it wrapped around your small body, allowing you to shiver uncontrollably. You gathered all your courage and looked up, towering trees looked down onto you as they were planted everywhere. It seemed frightening to see how the branches of the trees were covered with green looking moss and how some of it was reaching out almost to the ground like wings. It's thick roots would most probably be sticking out from the ground unlike any other trees that you would find in the elegant park. You were in an isolated forest all alone. Pulling your legs closer to your chest, you started to rub your palms against each other to insulate yourself. Right then, a loud howl was heard from a distance. The howl was thin yet so terrifying - sounded as if it came from a wild animal. You felt how your skinny legs started to give in as you tried to stood up. Another howl was heard yet again and this time, it was so close - as if it sounded right behind your ear. The cold wind brushed through your hair again, giving off an eerie feeling and you started doubting the place even further.

         You had to get out of there, you just had to.

         Right after the second howl was heard, a long awaiting silence creeped through the whole forest and you could hear the small crickets screeching away. Your ears immediately alerted themselves when you heard what seemed like leaves that were being stepped on. They were crunching away and it came from every side - your back, the front, right onto your right and left. You swift your head to all sides but nothing came into sight. The fog was so thick that it affected your perfectly sighted vision. Your legs immediately stood up while you bit your lip, breathing intensely as the fear inside of you continued to creep out. The still silence was killing you and you wanted to get out of that area as fast as you could but your legs were rooted onto the spot. There was no way you were able to jerk your leg to make it move. The atmosphere went still again and there was a really awkward silence, the back of your hair was standing by itself and you could have sworn that you felt someone breathing right behind your neck.

         Slowly, you turned to the back but only a thick fog could be seen. Before you were able to turn back to the front, a low growl was heard right behind your back and you froze immediately. The low growl was by now close to your ear and your stomach twisted into a tight knot - you were sure that something was definitely there with you. Your once narrowed eyes then widened in fear, your whole body shook by itself.

         A huge shadow overcasted yours and your hands trembled to see your own reflection right in front of you - the difference was only it's eyes that could be seen as bright red-brick colour and the face that was brutally injured. It was you, but only that she looked as if she was at her weakest point. She let out yet another low growl again and leaned in to your small ear. Your whole body was frozen and the sweat that was formed onto your forehead evaporated quickly, allowing your body temperature to drop as well.

         Tears formed onto the brims of your eyes, you were unaware of anything else except for the situation that you were in and expecting death to invite you over soon. She opened as you felt her cold breath onto your neck, "I hate myself." Those 3 words that came out from was so raspy and bitter. The end of was tugged onto a small smirk and right before your eyes, she held out her right hand to showcase the bloody axe before dropping it above her head. Her head came apart from her long neck as it fell near your feet. You let out a sharp scream, taking your brittle legs away from the scene and running right into the thick fog. The fog continued to surround you but it never did stopped you from running. The fear that had been creeping right inside of you finally was out.

         You ran frantically, your head swifting to each sides to find your way out of the forest. Everywhere you turned, you saw her silhoutte replaying the scene of chopping her head off. It haunted you and so did the words as they rang through your ears consistently. As you were frantically looking everywhere around the area, your face suddenly bumped onto a hard surface, pushing you down onto your bottom. You looked up, only to see Daehyun's angelic face looking down onto you.

         Seeing how he was there right in front of you, you instantly grabbed the sides of his shirt and slammed your face onto his chest in relief. Instead of sliding his hands onto your small waist, he took your shoulders gently and pushed you away from a distance. A small smile was formed onto his lips and you saw his apple-like lips opened up. "Daehyun? We don't have time, I don't know what's happening but we have to get out of here fast!" You called out, attempting to get a hold of his tight grip. He didn't even budged and instead, he held your shoulder again and leaned in near to your face. He then placed a strand of hair behind your ear soothingly, "I hate you." With that, his hand extended outwards to reveal the similar sharp and bloody axe right in front of you.

         Daehyun hesitated at first as you bit your lower lip tightly, your eyes watering and pleading for him to not continue his rash act. With one swift swing, he let out a frustrated scream while he aimed the bloody axe directly onto your head - the whole forest shook with your shrieking scream that almost broke your vocal chords.

         "Hyemi, Hyemi!!" A husky voice called out and you felt your whole body shook by itself in a very rough manner. Your whole body was by now sweating and the familiar voice called out again while you felt the touch onto your shoulder - your eyes then opened widely as you jolted yourself awake, sitting up immediately. You turned to your bed side as you saw the terrifying red eyes that stood out in the dark, followed by the facial features coming from Daehyun itself. You were frantic, pushing away the blankets and attempting to run away from the devil himself. Daehyun's heart pumped faster each second as he saw how panicked you were right after he heard the loud screams coming from your own bedroom in the middle of the night.

         He immediately jumped from your bed side, running towards your embrace and pulling you down back onto your bed. You shuddered, the images from before came back into your thoughts and it might even stay there forever to haunt you. "Are you okay?" You heard Daehyun's voice calling out and this time, you realised that his eyes were the same as before. Other than that, he was the normal Daehyun that you've known, he wasn't the devil-looking person that you thought might harm you. You gulped down your saliva, realising how dry your throat had been after screaming so much. Daehyun's grip was onto your arm as he shook you again, motioning you to wake up.

         Your heart was thumping unusually as you hurled your whole body onto Daehyun's, gripping it wholeheartedly and wishing that you could stay in the same position for a longer period of time. Daehyun followed suit, gently placing his hand around your waist and hugging your small body. "Do you hate me?" Your small voice was heard as you tried to steady your breath. You felt how Daehyun's grip onto your body slowly tightening itself in a much more reassuring way and it comforted you even more. He mumbled under the tangles of your hair, "Why are you saying that? What happened?" He freed his grip as he then shook your arm again, his eyes boring into yours and you saw how they twinkled with worriedness. You sighed and your juicy lips started to tremble by itself in conjuction with your eyes that were full of tears. That night, you eventually gave in to tell Daehyun the nightmares that had been haunting you after the whole Ilsung incident and sometimes even doubting you if you were mentally unstable. You would often wake up at night, screaming your lungs out as if an accident had occured.

         Daehyun was by now much more conscious of the nightmares that have been haunting you and it was hard for him to know that you have been living in such a rough life. You whimpered, the dream itself felt so real and it was almost too realistic that you started doubting if that wasn't even a nightmare at all. Daehyun had to convince you for more than 3 times that you were literally screaming while sleeping. You then informed him about the nightmare that you had earlier on, you detested it and it was by far the most horrific one you had ever experienced. The end of Daehyun's mouth was drooping slightly and he ran his finger through his bed-haired hair. "I used to have those nightmares too, it was terrible." He placed a warm cup of water right onto your bed side lamp, sitting down right in front of you on the comfy bed. Your eyes narrowed as you repositioned yourself, trying to look as if you were really interested in his story and half-believing that he was telling the truth.

         "Right after she was gone, I couldn't take a grasp of my own thoughts." He continued on, his head looking down onto your mattress and his fingers fiddling the buttons of his pyjama shirt. Well it turns out that you aren't the only one who has such nightmares haunting your life afterall. You cleared your dry throat, "Do you still have them?" Apparently, he shook his head and you were slightly shocked to know that since it never did stop haunting you in your sleep.

         "Well, not often anymore. I guess I learnt to overcome it." Tilting your head to the side and bringing your legs closer to your chest underneath the thick woolen blanket, you blinked your ees numerously trying to understand what he actually meant. "How? Isn't it impossible?" Then again, his charming smile was shown as he then let out a dry and raspy chuckle. From your own knowledge, you knew these nightmares will never leave you alone no matter how many times you tried convincing yourself not to think about it. "Well, I think happy thoughts. When you're too absorbed into something positive, those nightmares won't haunt you. When I was experiencing them, it was as if I was seen as something weak."

         Weak, what did he meant by that? What does being weak have to do with the nightmares that used to haunt his sleep oftenly? But you then hesitated in your own thoughts as you stared at Daehyun to wait for his answer, he was wise about his words and you admired that. Ruffling the top part of his head, he then continued his sentence. "Right after the incident, my mind wasn't straight and all i wanted was to end life. Day after day I was like a lifeless zombie, wandering and finding the meaning to live again which is why I was seen as weak. Since the word 'happiness' seemed existant no more, the nightmares haunt me to doubt my own thoughts of going back to the way I was." Daehyun lowered his gaze and his voice turned slightly smaller unlike the usual.

         You nodded, finally understanding what he meant. The glinting eyes that shone through the dark looked so miserable as Daehyun slouched his shoulders in a much more comfortable way. The words that comfortable slurred off his tongue made sense and you then realised, your situation was almost the same as his. Coincidentally, all the hardships that you have heard so far from him was almost the same affliction that you had felt. The way he explained how he experienced the unfortunate incidents was easy for you to relate and you were grateful. Grateful that you had finally found someone that was able to relate the experience and the exact feelings also someone that can understand you very well.

         You sniffed the small tears that came rolling down your cheeks, "You're amazing.." He was truly indeed amazing. Eventhough he wasn't the kind of guy that you thought would be perfect, he was just enough for someone to be grateful of having him inside their lives. Daehyun then smiled. Throughout the whole night, you were wide awake and there was no way that you could fall back into a deep sleep. Daehyun too decided to stay up with you eventhough you insisted on him doing so. In the end, the two of you decided to stay up and catch a bunch of your all time favourite movies.

         The both of you started off with Harry Potter and then to Mean girls ending it again with Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2. It was a full feast and you laughed enjoyably throughout the whole quiet evening. Staying up late was something different. You weren't sure if it was only you but you felt as if the more you stayed up late, the more you were prone to thinking emotional thoughts. You hated it slightly but yet liked the feeling of it. You detest it because it shows you the past actions and allows you to feel the emotions that made you feel terrible about it. On the other hand, it was more of something that helps you to let out your bottled feelings. In other words, there are pros and cons to it. Nonetheless, you tried yor best to not go overboard in thinking and become too depressed about it.

am i the only one who loves bmth as much as kpop?

what are your fav pop artist or group other than kpop? :-)