▲▼ CHAPTER 30 

     "Daehyun?.." You called out his name, fiddling with the ends of his tassled blanket. Daehyun poked his head from his phone and raised a brow, questioning what were you going to ask. "Why do I and everyone I love, pick people who treat us like nothing?" He opened his mouth slightly but then closed it back again, trying to contemplate his own thoughts. A small knot twisted inside his stomach as he took the words deeper into his own thoughts. You waited, at the same time trying to think about the question that rose into your head.

         A small smile was tugged to the end of Daehyun's mouth before speaking, "Because we accept the love we think we deserve." He said shortly. The sentence was short and sweet but it made you think deeply to understand it. It was true. The word 'love' itself is self-explanatory. Love can make you blind and no matter how bad one's personality is, we still see them as someone we would want to spend our entire life with. We accept the love that we think we deserve because we want the best for ourselves. Daehyun was right, you accept the love that you think you deserve all these while. It's such a pity how love can blind you. You stared into space, it felt so wrong for you to know that you have been living in such a state before. You loved Ilsung, believing that one day he will portray the kind of love that you would expect to receive from him. But it never did came and you only waited for the bad things to happen.

         Daehyun sighed, he too felt terrible for his own life. How the hell was he able to land himself in such situations? He never planned doing so and it made him realised how internally strong he was. He glanced towards your face that was reflected by the glinting moonlight. The ends of your eyes was filled with unwanted tears and he felt a huge pain in the middle of his heart. He hated seeing you cry these days and he barely knew why. It hurted him the most when he would hear those soft cries as you would tilt your head to the side, hiding the tears from being seen. He simply detested it. You bit your lower lip, holding onto the heavy tears as you felt yourself clutched your chest. Tonight was probably the most terrible night that you have experienced. It was terrifying and it made you feel even weak. You couldn't find the right words to speak and neither did you have the energy to do so.

         Your lips continued to tremble and your eyelids flickered, the bottled feelings was unbearable and you let out a huge sigh before the crytalised tears were freed. Cocking your head to the side, you used strands of your hair to cover your face and hid the tears. Crying was stupid and so were you, you thought. You threw the pillow back onto the couch and made your way to the room. It was dumb of you to cry in front of Daehyun and you never wanted to let people see yourself as weak. You held the tears again and before you knew it, Daehyun too stood up from his seat. He held your small wrist, gently turning your around and held you closer to his body.

         His well-built body was warm and as he placed his hand to your voluptous hair, you could hear his steady heartbeat beating away. Listening to it allowed you to calm your nerves. The hug didn't seemed forced, yet it gave more of a natural feel to it. Daehyun placed his chin right onto the crown of your head, your back gently and listening to your soft cries. He used his arm muscles to squeeze your small body in a more reassuring way. Your thin, milky arms slowly rose by itself as they gripped Daehyun's waist. You sniffed the tears,you liked this. Having someone to lean on felt so good and Daehyun was someone that was able to understand your problems. He was just someone so purely kind to be able to help you. It was as if your life became thousand times better. Never did you thought that you would find someone so courteous - especially a guy. Daehyun's heartfelt hug made you feel much better. You let go of the grip and once again, sniffed away the excess tears.

         "You'll probably think I'm such a er, crying over this ." Daehyun laughed as he saw your bubbly side once again, wiping your eyes like a toddler to get rid of the tears.

         He then reached out towards your face, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. He then let out a dry laugh, "It's not wrong to cry." The two of you continued your night and before you actually knew it, you eventually fell asleep onto the couch. Daehyun let out his heartwarming smile and pushed a strand of your hair from your face. He then slid his arm right below your legs while the other on your back before using all his energy to carry you back into your room. Daehyun slowly pulled the blanket up to your chin as he then your hair gently, leaning into your ear. "Goodnight." He whispered and closed the door right behind him.

         You sighed, blinking your eyes numerous times before realising how bright the scorching sun was. You woke up groggily, letting out a restless yawn before plopping back onto your pillow. Your eyes then shot up by itself, it was Monday. You groaned, making your way to the bathroom before leaving the house - dreading to go to work. You tip-toed, cautiously making your way pass Daehyun's room to not wake him up with any sudden noises. As the blazing sun hit directly onto the ground, you entered through the glass door while the familiar chirpy voice greeted you enthusiastically. "Good morning young lad!" He called out and you chuckled, letting out to show a not-so obvious fake smile. The morning was hectic as the café was bustling with people with different walks of life. Everybody was qeueing up to the side of the counter, calling out their orders with full spirit and some even complaining of the lack of time that they had. You took yet another huge breath, pushing the crowds and moving from one table to another to take the morning orders. "One breakfast deluxe!!" You hollered to the top of your lungs, calling out the orders one by one.

         Wiping off the sweats from your forehead, you then sighed. This was probably one of those days that you had to use up all of your energy. Jaebum let out a dry chuckle while he looked over at your weakened position, he might have thought that you were such a weakling. It had already been a drag for you to come to work and having to work this hard made you think as burning your calories. Letting out a huge sigh of immense relief, your slumped shoulders landed onto one of the pillars as you set your heavy down onto the high bar stools. You groaned, you definitely did burnt some calories as you wiped off the sweats that was constantly forming onto your forehead. "Dang, this whole waitress thing is quite a workout." You mumbled under your breath continuously. The staffs of the café started cleaning up the tables, waiting for the other peak hour to busy themselves. Some were even taking a break right behind the dumpster, fishing out their cigarettes to start their break. With the dining room empty, you too made your way to the back of the café . The staffs were huddling amongst themselves, some were sharing their cigarettes while you stood by the corner.

         There you saw Jaebum, standing right beside one of the bricked pillars as he in his cheeks and puffing out a cloud of smoke. All of them did the same and you were slightly amazed by how they weren't choking from the smoke in. You had to admit it though that the way Jaebum held the cigarette between his fingers and placing it onto his lips looked charming. "Oh hey, didn't see you there." You glanced as Jaebum turned his body, throwing the cigarette bud right onto the cemented ground while squishing it using his shoe. "Was I invading your privacy?" His broad shoulders then shrugged followed by a small dimple forming right onto his chubby cheeks.

         "You.. smoke?" Your small voice trembled slightly, leaning back onto the bricked pillars. Both of you sighed, the once hectic afternoon slowly turned into a much calmer evening that anyone who was working in the café would appreciate of. Jaebum clasped his fingers together and nodded, bobbing his head up and down. You then bit your inner cheek, slowly moving your eyes everywhere. "How does it feel to.."

         "Smoke?" He continued your sentence in no time as he then let out a dry laugh, chuckling slightly to himself.

         You nodded suit, gently tucking your bangs to the side while you glanced towards Jaebum's angelic face. His lower lip had a slight blue-black tint to it and you guessed that it was probably the effects of smoking. You had always wondered how smoking feels like and you are honestly blown away every single time when you witness how guys - even womens - could inhale the smoke so easily into their body. Other than that, you have heard cases where smoking helps them to forget about their problems. What is this crap, some sort of drugs? Honestly, you wanted to give it a shot. It wouldn't hurt, would it? Afterall, you've seen hundreds of people puffing this in and out of their body so it would probably work on you too. You glanced towards the other group of staffs as their continued with their small hang out, huffing and puffing away from their cigarette.

         Jaebum then coughed, clearing his throat. "It feels good, to be honest. For me, it's like a small getaway from my problems." Raising a brow, you expected the answer beforehand. How can smoking be somewhat like a problem solver? It is definitely interesting as hell. Heck, you were fascinated and at that point, you almost wanted to offer one to yourself. But you then let out a sarcastic laugh, "That's crap. How can this be a problem solver?" You held the beat up cigarette bud from the ground, showing it to Jaebum. He shook his head, laughing it off as if you had just cracked up a small joke. He then swiftly took the cigarette bud between your fingers into his.

         "This may look small but it definitely handle big things. Safe to say that it's like drugs, it helps you to drift away from reality." Jaebum then fleetly threw the cigarette bud to the ground as he fished out a fresh one from his pocket. He handled the cigarette so professionally - placing his forefinger on top while supporting the cigarette using his middle finger - then he clicked the lighter open, showing off a bright orange flame. He then gently placed the bud in between his lips while he aimed the lit lighter close to the end of the cigarette. You witnessed how his chest heaved upwards while he puffed out the excess smoke. "Y'know, it helps me to somewhat calm myself down. It's like puffing out my problems together with the smoke and it's just my getaway." Jaebum stated, glancing up towards your face.

         It's funny how a cigarette was able to handle one's life. It is afterall just a small stick that's filled with nicotine. Eventhough it can endanger one's life, it also has the ability to recover the pain that they hid within them. You stared at the way Jaebum used his cigarette. It was tempting, you wanted to try it for yourself. He turned to his right, as he saw how you were looking at him in a peculiar way. Slowly, you held out your hand. "Can I try?"

         In an instant, Jaebum's thick eyebrows knitted by itself and he bit his lower lip in consideration. He knew what you exactly meant but he wouldn't want to allow you to indulge in such unhealthy things. He then shook his head vigorously, he wasn't that kind of person. You groaned, just one puff would not hurt, you mumbled to yourself. One puff, that's all and nothing more. You just wanted to gain experience of the feeling having to let off one puff, who knows it would be satisfying? Without any hesitation, you took the cigarette away from Jaebum's fingers as you then placed between your lips. Slowly - by following the steps that you remembered from seeing Jaebum - you tried to in the smoke.

         Before you were able to exhale it out, you let out an intense cough. The thick smoke went directly into your lungs as you felt suffocated, your chest tightening by itself. You grasped for air, holding your chest and coughing vigorously as you can. Jaebum only let out yet another dry laugh, slowly patting your back. "The are you laughing about?" He then raised both of his hands to defend himself. "That's normal for beginners. C'mon, our break is ending soon and I don't want you to be too addicted on this." Rolling your eyes, you held the pillars from the sides and pushed open the door into the kitchen.

lmao i really should put restricted ages to read my fanfic

there's too many bad words sheesh

dang, my bday is in a few days & i feel old alrd D: