▲▼ CHAPTER 17 // HIDDEN SECRETS

     You shook your head unwillingly, "I don't have a family." Daehyun squinted his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed in a disbelief manner. You bit your lower lip, containing the burning feeling inside of you. You didn't know how to explain this is in a calm manner because before you know it, you might end up in a river of your own tears. You never even thought you would be talking about your long lost family to someone who you don't really know that much about. Daehyun waited, his hands clasped against one another and his lips pursed tightly. "I heard that my parents didn't really want me and so my mom decided to abort it but my grandmother told her to keep it. She left home without taking me with her and since then, I can't even remember the last time she held me so close to her warm body." Tears started overwhelming the brims of your eye as you blinked furiously, hoping that it would sucessfully wash it away. Your heart thumped by itself as you could feel the tightness of your throat and the numbness of your muscles. It wasn't the after-effect of the jog but it was more of the physical pressure given by your own emotions.

          Daehyun saw your uneasiness as he fidgeted a little. You sniffed, rubbing your nose that was starting to turn red. You were devastated when you were talking about this let alone, thinking about how was it possible for you to not have a family at all. "... Your dad?" Daehyun questioned, perching his eyebrows upwards as he bit his inner cheek. You gritted your teeth as you took a huge breath. Your heart burned when the vivid images flashed before your eye. That bowl cut hair he had was spiked up in a slightly messy way as he wore a denim overall that was torn near his knees. The cologne that he would always wear before going off to work was replaced with a musky smell of alcohol as you could feel yourself getting dizzier. His clothes stunk and the buttons of his shirt were ed. You felt yourself trembling as you saw his shaken pupils and his weird actions feared you to come running to his embrace, welcoming him home because you knew right inside your inner child that that wasn't your father. Everytime before you went to sleep, you would always pray to God to give you back the only respected man in your life who you would always depend on but it never came true. When you stopped praying for the miracle, he left without a word or a kiss of goodbye and before you knew it, he was claimed as the most wanted criminal. Never did you thought your own father was a criminal because you had always seen him as a respectful man.

          "He left too, turned out to be the most wanted." You ended your reply shortly. Daehyun just kept silent, trying to process everything in mind and at the end of his eye, he saw how you were shivering when you told him about your private life. He felt sympathetic knowing how strong you had been after all these while living in this planet without having your parents to care for you. You took a last sip of your green tea to calm down. The both of you were finally done with your tea as you divided the payment each, handing it to the counter. 

          The both of you were by now walking through the mesmerizing park. Your hands were dugged deep into your own jogging pants as you listened to the splashes of the stones being thrown into the river. Daehyun hummed a rhythm as your footsteps followed through it, slightly bobbing your head up and down. "What about your grandmother? Didn't you said she took care of you?" Daehyun tilted his head to take a good look at your face as he pursed his lips together, forming a small smile that wasn't really visible enough. You sighed, looking down to your shoes as you shrugged effortlessly. "I don't know what happened. What I knew was that everybody left and everything was just a wreck when they have me in their life." Your hands were by now balled up into a tight fist inside your pocket as you tried to hold the anger in. You gritted your teeth, the sides of your temple was tight from the pressure as you sent glares to the cold floor.

          Daehyun saw the pressure you exited through your teeth and fist as he felt sympathetic. Listening to the experience you've gone through made him felt how blessed he was to have a family that supports him throughout his life. He wanted to comfort you, but he knew it wasn't nice for him to do so. "Do you think it's still possible to find your grandmother?" Daehyun's voice interrupted your thoughts. You huffed, shrugging again. "I doubt that." There, the both of you stood before the cold waters while handling the silver railing. The cold breeze swept to your face as it tangled the strands of your hair. Dried leaves elegantly fell down from the brown branches to the bright green grass as childrens gathered around the area to play with the crunchy wet leaves. You sighed, talking about all of this made you feel unworthy again. It alerted you how lonely you were in this world, depending on nobody else but yourself to live and be happy. The thought of it made you feel so miserable.

          Why was the world cruel enough to let you live like this without having any love surrounded you? Why, of all 7,000,000,000 people in this world, must it be you who's experiencing this devastating pain that hides your true loneliness?

          You were at the edge of breaking down as those tears came into sight. It was a good thing that your face was covered by the hoodie, not being able to reveal the scrunched up nose that you had to prevent yourself from letting a tear fall. Daehyun saw your body stiffen and your grip onto the railing tightened, your knuckles almost turning white. His eyes narrowed to your hoodie but he couldn't see the side of your face. He didn't know what this feeling was but he was dying to ask you if you were alright. By looking at your posture and the small sniffs that you had, he knew you were almost at your limits. Daehyun kept denying that there was this slight worried feeling he had inside of him as he saw how your posture changed and just the general atmosphere he felt around you started to gradually changed.

          "I'm sorry if I asked too much." He said, almost sounded as if it was unaudible. Your eye twitched as you sniffed again, trying to stop the endless tears and nodded to yourself. Then the atmosphere continued as before, the still air engulfed the both of you as you kept silent throughout the whole time. "You better put some medicine on that." Daehyun pointed to your wrists, signalling to the bright red slashes that you had plasted onto your skin. Once again, you tugged the sleeve down to cover your wrist, making sure not to show even a single bit of your skin.

          Your insecurity kicked in again as soon as Daehyun pointed out to your slashes. You only gave him a small nod and muttered a thanks. Daehyun narrowed his eyes once again onto your milky skin. Seeing those fine lines you had planted onto your own skin made him suddenly feel infuriated and annoyed. He rolled his eyes in annoyance after seeing the lines. He detests seeing people, especially girls, slashing their own hands because of depression. He hated it. It made him feel disgusted as the memories from before tried to slip in but he couldn't deny that he was worried. "Thank you for bringing me to grab something." You said in a small voice, showing a small smile. Daehyun effortlessly flashed his wide smile, showing his pearly white teeth as his cheekbones rose and his eyelids looked as if they were touching each others. "Thank you for joining in." He continued, showing a small nod before you. You forced a smile - still holding onto your sleeves - and walked away from him. You took the time to walk back home, strolling into the lively park which had some flowers blossomed and little kids playing around the area - screaming in delight. You took a deep breath as the fresh air went into your lungs, it felt so unreal that you were alone in this world. You couldn't bear to think how long did you lived without laughing or cracking a genuine smile. As Daehyun walked away you felt yourself feeling even more lonely. You didn't know why or what it was about him that made you feel so busy and companied.

          Don't, he whispered to himself as he shut his eyes tightly. His wide chest heaved up and down as he nervously slid a finger through his hazelnut brown hair, scratching his forehead in annoyance as he plopped himself onto the blue velvet couch. His fingers clawed through the soft material, teeth gritting as hard as he can as he tried his best to contain his anger. There he was, sitting onto the couch with his eyes on the blank cream wall right in front of him, sighing every single minute. His eyes flashed into darkness as he saw her right in front of him. She beckoned him to come closer to her, engulfing her into a hug. He took his slender legs in front of the other - his wrinkly eyes slowly perched upwards as he saw the love of his life right in front of him, her milky skin glowing in the darkness - but it started to become stiff, stopping him from moving forward. He pushed on, encouraging his muscles to carry on but they didn't heed to whatever he was saying. They slowed down and before he knew it, his leg was stuck onto the cold floor - dying to go to her embrace which was just a few metres away.

          The way she extended her arms towards him made him have the urge to let go of this certain grip and rush towards her. His heart almost stopped beating as he saw her hands interlacing to another warm pair of milky fingers. His other arms circled around her small waist as he stole a kiss from her. He cringed in disgust, his tears almost escaping his inner tear duct. But his only fear came as he saw her distressed face that was covered with slashes and bruises. He gulped down his saliva unknowingly. She screamed, almost bursting his eardrums since it was so loud, sounding as if something was screeching to a halt. In a flash, there she was with a thick piece of brown coloured rope around her glowing neck which had already been stained with bruises. The ends of his eyes was already tearing up but he brushed it off. It was so weak of him to cry. His eyes were stinging as it slowly flowed down one by one, sniffing uncontrollably as it was replaced with a light hiccup. She extended her arms again and this time she called his name for the last time, full of love and he couldn't help but to sniff. 

          There he was, kneeling down onto the cold floor all by himself, not wanting to believe the fact that the love of his life was gone in a flash. His heart broke a million pieces reminiscing both the heartbreaking moments she gave him and the sweet ones. There he was, feeling so helpless as the other half of his life was gone forever.

          There Daehyun was, lying onto his velvet couch, staining it with all of his tears remembering how she held him so close. How her strong floral perfume surrounded him through her warm embrace. Finally, there he was, sighing non-stop as he listened to his troubled heart and seeing the vivid images of your pitiful face right in front of you. He knew somehow deep inside his heart that he didn't want to lose you the way he lose her.

hehe hi, i'm back! in case you guys got confused, there were 2 different characters in the last few paragraphs c:

don't get mixed up hehe

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