▲▼ CHAPTER 1 // LOST TIME IN DARKNESS

LET IT GO - HYORIN

   It was cold in the area as you stuffed your frozen hands into your leathered pocket. It was probably one of those days where the temperature rapidly falls below zero and where the atmosphere would be down too. As the grey and clammy weather engulfed the whole city, people were fastening their pace and huddling themselves in the warmth of their coats, frowning as ever. You did the same as you wrapped the whole scarf around your neck, hiding your face behind it. You walked around the neighbourhood aimlessly, not really having any plan on where to go. You fished out your phone as you scrolled down the contact list. You felt really blasé and lonesome.

     The once yellow and fiery ball of light overhanging on top of the heads were now changed to a dark grey moonlight. Your eyes darted at a certain name as a cold shiver ran down your spine.

     'Ilsunggie,' It said.

     You scrolled down a few more and soon found out that it was the end of the list. You basically didn't have anyone else to talk to. You went back to the previous contact and bit your lip, lost in your own thoughts. Should you call him? You grabbed the phone into your grip and placed it back inside your pocket. With a sigh, you continued your unwilling journey somewhere else, clearing off your mind with the cool breeze as it swept refreshingly past your face. You carried your twig-like legs and entered the warm convenience store, hoping to wander and find something useful. You walked into the narrow and long aisle ambiguously, finding chores to do when you bumped yourself into someone.

     "I'm sorry, I didn't see you-" The guy with a slightly bowled and hazelnut brown haircut apologised profusely. "Hyemi?" He said, with a hint of disbelief. You looked up and saw such a familiar face. Within moments, you pulled yourself up together as you grabbed the things that you wanted to buy and turn to leave the aisle. You didn't bother to look back if the guy was tagging along with you. As you reached the cashier counter, you dropped all the items that you need to the conveyer belt.

      "Oh hello dear we meet again," A middle aged woman greeted you from the counter as she beamed a wide smile. "It must be cold outside. Now, is this what you only need?" She queried, pointing to the stuffs that you bought. You nodded, handing her the money as she glide through your palm, grabbing the piece of paper. "Oh my, what happened to your wrists? That's a lot of bruises and slashes." The woman widened her small almond eyes as she scrutinized the flesh of your arm before you were able to pull the sleeves back down, preventing her from seeing much more.

       You shook your head vigorously, "I-It's nothing." You grabbed your woolen gloves and inserted them into your clammy palms. She looked at you with a glint of worriedness filled in her eyes. Pursing her lips together, she nodded slowly and gave you a smile before handing you over the plastic bags full of unnecessary items. "Poor girl, it happened again." The woman shook her head, as pitiness filled her emotions. Once again, you kept on fiddling with your sleeves and pulling them downwards, making sure it doesn't even show the slightest bit of your skin. With nowhere to go, you dragged your unwilling frail legs back home. As per normal, you did all the chores and started preparing for dinnertime to come. You were scared that anytime soon your boyfriend, Ilsung will be reaching home.

       As you were cooking, the front door was basically closed with full force. You jumped slightly, not even dare to turn your head to see what was happening because you knew something bad was coming. Ilsung took off his coat as he threw them to the other side of the bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed with his palms covering his face in distress. You didn't move a single bit, your legs didn't want you to.You set the table as always, praying so hard that tonight's dinner would be normal like any couple would have. From the small dinner table, you could already hear the shouts coming from the bedroom above as Ilsung started cursing on the phone.

       He let out a frustrated growl, followed by a thump heard on the wall. Goosebumps started to rise as you sat in your seat, holding yourself together. Just his voice made you whimper and feel aghast. "D-Dinner's ready.." You informed with a small voice. "I'm not hungry. I need them, now." Ilsung gritted his teeth as he marched towards you. He lashed out the tight and thick black belt onto your skin, leaving a very bright red mark. You whinced and let out another unwilling tear escape from your sore eyes. You couldn't take this anymore but neither were you strong enough to stop him. This was unbearable of which you had to constantly bear it over the years. But the condition got worse as he would always come back home high intake of alcohol and drugs. He growled as he started smashing the vase and nearby lamps to the ground, leaving shattered pieces scattered everywhere. You ducked as the ceramic plate hit the door behind you.

       Your eyes widened, throat drying as fast as before. "Are you crazy?!" Your voice came out hoarse as usual, trying to fight back your wobbling legs. He growled again as his chest heaved up and down, looking like a boiling demon. He lashed out another bamboo stick that was used for decoration as he smacked them onto you. You ducked again but it got cut deep into your skin. He straddled his legs wide open as he sat upon you, eyes wide and red like a dog who just found it's prey. His grip on you tightened as his fingernails dug deep into your skin, giving a red line mark as he scratched it like a cat. You yanked your hands away from him but he was stronger than you. "Where the is my money? Where's the thing? I know you hide it !" He bellowed.

       You let out a soft whimper, "I'm not giving it to you!" You knew it will only make him angry as you were to say that but you've had enough and you won't let him take those stupid drugs again. His eyes became red as his breathing steadied. "Give me that thing before I hurt you!" He hurled a punch on your face as there was a laughter with an edge. You were holding back a scream and cry as he hurled another punch from the bottom of a bottle. There were no more energy left in you as your body started draining away. Without giving any warning, he grabbed you by the waist as he carried you into the room. He threw your small body onto the hard bed as you whinced. You tried to stood up as he slapped hard onto your cheek, making you fall your head back. He zipped his zipper down and threw his trousers to the other side of the room. "N-No, please don't! I'm begging you...." Your voice became faint as ever. His tongue slipped out from his mouth as a small smirk formed at the end of his lips. He grabbed your waist and took himself inside of you. Your whole world was spinning as he started becoming rough.

       You screamed, pleading him to let you go but by every scream that came out from your mouth, a strong punch was returned to your pretty face. He hurled himself inside of you again and you felt yourself being engulfed in darkness as he threw another effortless punch to the end of jawline. The lingering light was obliterated by the rapidly falling night. The once salmon and purple sky transformed into a vast expanse of jet-black that engulfed the town. The air was still unlike normal. You opened your fluttering eyelids to see yourself sprawling onto the bed helplessly. You straightened your back, making the bed as a support. It only made your sprawled legs sore. You whinced as a stray tear left from your b eyes. Hot tears streamed down your damped cheeks, sniffing and choking back the sobs constantly. Blood and a mixture of stained tears were permanently painted on the bedsheet. Bloods, your blood. Your own blood coming from your open wounds. You weren't able to do anything about it but to hold in the pain for as much as you can.

       You grabbed the pillow and bite it as you placed the medicine directly onto the wound. You placed a pillow over your mouth, letting out a deafening scream. You clenched your fists on the sides of the pillow, letting out all of your anger in it. What made you become like this? How did such a perfect relationship turned out to be your worst nightmare? Just 3 years ago, you thought everything would work out very well. A year of planning ahead and moving in together was all you ever wanted. The both of you had a great future ahead of you, wanting to get married and get old like any other couple would. You landed your feet onto the cold ground as you fell onto the floor. Your legs were weak. After what he did last night, you weren't able to move a single bit. He tore you apart, not even bother to leave a single energy behind you. All he did was destroy you, hurling everything towards your body like a test subject. Bitten marks and scars were the only thing that left in your body like a permanent tattoo. It can't be heal, neither can it be cured. You crawled this time. He was the demon in disguise that happened to live in your life. A monster, that is what he is. He eats people alive, skinning them to death or even worse, brutally injure them without even the slightest pity. 3 years of joyful relationship turned out to be a rebound nightmare that you wouldn't expect it to be. Alcohols and drugs was the whole cause of it. You used the least bit of your energy to walk down the stairs. You wanted to leave but your heart still belonged to him. You grabbed the smashed picture frame and stared at it. Your eyes were still damped with tears as you held it into your tight grip. You traced small figures along his face as your mouth quivered. Your mouth trembled as your eyes were b with tears. You fought back a sob, not wanting to cry. As you gazed down to the two couples filled with beams till the end of their mouth, you flooded yourself with your own hot tears. The once bless and blissful couple that shared kisses among each other cannot be recognised anymore.

        Now, the both of you rarely even called each other by name. You were more withdrawn to other people, especially guys. You were becoming more as a loner now and you wanted it to stay that way. The dinner table was still full of food, untouched and cold. The gravy and rice that were cooked full of love, were already cold. You grabbed the plates that were lined up neatly back to the cupboard itself. The dishes that you cooked were either kept in the fridge or thrown away. You just didn't have the appetite to eat. Not anymore. You slipped in through the hot water bath as the warm liquid glide down your body. You whinced and hissed as it comes in contact with the recent wounds. Your whole body was made out of carved scares. You were a voodoo doll, being used to carve scratches on it and just do anything bad to it. Days passed as none of Ilsung's shadow were seen at home. Weeks passed and still, you were the only one left alone in the house. Weeks after weeks dreaded as it turned nearly to a month. For once, you felt alone and at peace but you were still agigated the fact that Ilsung hadn't come back home ever since. Months passed, you thought everything was going smoothly as he would never step back in this house.

        "Hyemi!" The husky voice hollered at the top of his lungs, booming through the whole house as your eyes widened in surprise. In a split second as he stormed up the stairs, you found yourself trapped in his own grip and not able to let go because of your weak strength compared to his. "Where is it?!" His red and swollen eyes bulged open, boring into your soul as you shivered vigorously. As soon as you shook your head, a tight punch was pushed to your jaw. You were hauled down the stairs like a dog with a leash as he threw you flat on the stomach. "You really want to leave this place so bad right? I'll show you how." He grind his teeth as he spoke, shooting a menacing stare and growled before he let go of your hair. He dragged you like a toy to the lift. From there, a hope came into your life. Seeing the lift was like a huge glint of hope, almost like freedom. If you were able to go into it, you'll be free from the demon. He started becoming uncontrollable as if he had a seizure. He was at loss of drugs and he need them now. The high intake of drugs made him go crazy for more. He was addicted to it's powers and if he couldn't have it for one day, he'll go chaotic. He started kicking you in the face as you tried to block it.

         You were drained yourself but you had to defend. Some of the neighbours were already peeking outside their windows and door, looking at the common sight. You screamed for help at the top of your lungs but nobody came to your rescue. You grabbed the sides of the lift, using it as a support to hold you back. He started to slow down from all the kicking as you took the chance to crawl yourself in the lift. "We're through! I can't take this anymore...." Your legs were numb, you can't even feel them anymore. You pressed the button right away as the lift sent you down to the first floor. You whinced in pain, dragging yourself out of the lift to go out into the darkness. You didn't know where you should go but you didn't care. Your small and nimble legs stretched itself as your thighs screamed. You didn't heed it and instead, you continued the long run. As long as it was a better place than the torture chamber, you're safe.

         You ran, you hide. You crawled, you cried.

         No matter where you go, you were alone. You cried for hours and hours till your eyes were sore. This wasn't the life that you wished for. Your worst nightmare just started. You slept beside a trash can, in an abandoned house. You didn't care. As long as you were safe. You ran as fast as you can, hoping that the demon won't find you again. "Hey... Are you okay?" A husky yet gentle voice filled your ears. You shivered and shook your head. No, you're not going to fall for this trap. The small light from the street lamp shone on his face as you saw his plump lips first before his almond shaped eyes. "H-Hyemi?" His voice shook as he saw your disasterous state. He held your arm but you flinched, yanking it away from him. "Who the are you?" Even a single touch landed on your body from a guy, you pulled away. You won't believe guys like them anymore. His eyes turned into worried ones as he knelt down, trying to examine your wounds but you smacked him away. "Get the away from me." You growled.

     You saw his hazelnut brown hair that was perfectly weaved. He looked familiar. Definitely familiar. "W-What happened?" He questioned. You looked away, still holding onto the wounded area. That voice. How come everything is starting to get familiar to you? That certain gentle and melodic voice that you heard before. Not only melodic but addictive. That doe eyes that you once hated so much about him, everything seemed so familiar now. Same goes for that plump lips. Before you could even recognised who it was, your world became dizzy You touched the back of your head with your palm. Blood. Red stained blood on your hand. You looked at the guy in front of you and you gagged. You coughed heartily. Blood. It dripped down your mouth as he started to freak out. Your eyes became heavy as you feel yourself spinning. The guy screamed your name as he held the back of your head, only to find out that his palm was also stained with red blood coming from it. Your eyes closed slowly.

          "D-Daehyun....."