Hayoung's point of view

My soul drifted away in a daze. The music, the laughter, it all faded as I sat alone in the dark. My shallow, shaky breath felt unnatural on my lips. 

"America?" I asked, too stunned to comprehend what was going on. She wrapped her fingers around mine, smiling earnestly. "The years have been harsh on me now that the generation is changing. Before I retire, I wanted to find someone to take under my wing, to hand down my legacy. I had almost given up, until I found you..." She squeezed my palm gently. "Come with me, and I promise within five year's time, you can become the most prestigious singer the world had ever seen." 

Her words sounded wrong. The fame. The glory. It was indeed a miracle for such an opportunity to come across me, and it was everyone's dreams at S.P.A but...it hurts. Instead of excitement, I was scared. I had only imagined what I'd say to such an offer, I never expected it to actually happen. My words melted, unable to project. This was what I had to in order to find out who I was but...something at my heart kept tugging painfully.

Youngmin. Kwangmin....I would have to leave them. 

Whenever I was beside them, somewhere deep in my heart, I was preparing for them to disappear from my life. Once I have done my part of the deal, I would no longer have a reason to stay at S.P.A... yet, a part of me wanted to remain where I was. With Joori, the member of Boyfriend, the twins. I didn't want to leave their side. That stubborn selfish part of me wanted to hold on, to keep them in my life forever.

I wasn't ready for this. Even if I knew it'd come to an end, it was as if I was hanging desperately on a cliff, knowing I would eventually fall but still holding on with my life. Would I be able to sacrifice everything in order to know who I was? In order to know why I was left behind?

I gazed across the room at the twins sitting with the rest of the members, idly chatting. Youngmin brushed his blonde bangs out of his eyes while Kwangmin tugged at the collar of his neck. I smiled slightly. There has never been a dull moment after these two entered my life. I felt the fascination wither away, replaced by grimace. Perhaps it was time for me to leave their side...

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"I do not expect an answer from you right away. Take your time to decide." She handed me a small gold card with her name and number, written on the surface neatly. "Until then." My eyes followed her until the doors finally closed. Youngmin sat besides me, holding a plate with various gourmet desserts. I hid the card swiftly, clearing my throat. "Who won the prizes?" I asked, trying to sound as normal as possible. He poked at an eclair, munching on it slowly. "Some reporter from Korea daily.." He sighed, regretful. "It was a five hundred dollar gift card!" He grumbled. I smiled, wondering if I'd miss this childish side of him. 

I carefully picked up a ripe strawberry dipped in whip cream, biting it absentmindedly. Youngmin chuckled, leaning towards me. I flinched when he gently brushed a finger at the corner of my lips. "Clumsy." His touch was warm. I looked into his calm brown eyes, saddened.

Would I miss this warmth?

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In the bathroom, I studied the reflection, not knowing who the girl in the mirror was. She was too pale, too beautified. The white gown wrapped around her torso where it hid the scars of cuts and bruises from climbing trees. Suddenly thrown into a world of fine jewelry and stage lights, I was running in circles. Five years from now, what would I look like? What kind of world would I live in? Going to america, would I be able to remember the days of when I used to swim and fished at the creek? If I stayed, would I live as someone that could only dream, an ordinary girl destined for the norm? Which did I want?

I clenched the edge of the counter, angry at myself. Why was I so confused!? What was keeping me from going? What was keeping me from staying? 

I leaned against the wall in the empty hallway. All the music and the different scents of candles were making me claustrophobic. I escaped to the fresh air in the brightly lighted garden. The fountain sparkled in the moonlight as I the cold water. My damp skin began to breathe in the cool breeze. I sighed, enjoying the chilly night. 

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Kwangmin's point of view

"Do me a favor Kwangmin?" In-Tak threw his car keys towards me. "Could you go down to the lake and finish the last few preparations? I brought in the food and set the tables but I didn't get the chance to decorate the house." I sighed, garnishing wasn't exactly a strong point of mine. "Where is your car?" He smiled, thanking me. "Its parked by the garden, near the fountain."

Outside, I inhaled deeply, enjoying the clean air. The aroma of cinnamon candles were starting to make me feel lightheaded. I gazed around, looking for In-Taks car when I suddenly stopped, surprised. 

"Hayoung?" I called out, squinting my eyes in the distance. She turned towards me, her feet in the fountain. I recognized the white gown as I approached her. She smiled, waving. "Kwangmin? What are you doing here?" I still wasn't used to seeing her dressed so elegantly. Perhaps she didn't realize exactly how beautiful she looked tonight.

"I..I'm going to the lake to finish setting up for the BBQ." She tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. "BBQ?" I nodded, sitting besides her. "Every year after the Centennial, all the performers and staff come to the neighboring lake house for the night, celebrating a successful performance." She nodded excitedly. "It sounds fun!" I looked at her, biting my lip. 'Do...do you want to come with me?"

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I waited at a safe distance from the car as she changed inside. The door opened gently as she climbed out, wearing my sweater and jeans. She giggled shyly, pointing at the baggy and rolled pants. "Kwangmin's legs are so long." I blushed, stammering. "S-sorry...these were the only ones I had." She shook her head. "No, I like it. They are very comfortable." She flopped her hands in the air jokingly. "It's like I'm swimming."

I chuckled softly. Even if she wore the most extravagant dress in the world, it could not compare with the her now. The

freshly glowing face and the bright playful Hayoung.

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Hayoung's point of view

Of course I was embarrassed to be in front of Kwangmin so rawly. If Joori was right, then being make up free and just dressing comfortably was the same as shooting myself in the foot...but it wasn't like that. Even though bashful, it felt nice being myself. 

I looked around, admiring the scenery. The moon was high in the cloudless sky, shining brighting on the rippling water. I breathed in deeply. It was almost like i was back home, in Ha-Dong. The air was clean, crisp. I brushed my hair back with my fingers, enjoying the chilly wind. "Hayoung?" His gaze was gentle. "Don't hate me okay?"  "Hm?" I asked nonchalantly, still fixated on the breeze. He gently grabbed my hand, holding it against his palm. I blushed, stupefied. "Kwangmin-Shi?" 

He smiled as electric currents surged through my body. "Just for a little while..." He looked away, his face hidden by his hair. My heart ached.

If I'm gone...Would this pulsing electricity also disappear?

I felt a tear drip silently on the ground as I looked out to the endless black water. Please god...even if it's just for a little while... Let me stay by their side...