I stared blankly at the ceiling in the dark. I turned my head towards my brother's bed, only seeing his blurred blonde hair. I closed my eyes, the vocal room coming to my mind. 

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Spell bounded, all I could do was listen. " What about finding your parents?" I stared at Hayoung's hurt moist eyes. My mind went dark, not understanding. I gazed at Youngmin, his expression different from mine. He bit his lip, clenching his fists with anger. "Shut up..." I heard him murmur under his breath. "What is this?" I thought to myself. Had he already know? Was I the only one in the dark?  Joori's face was stunned in shocked. Was Youngmin the only one she told? "Why!" I cried in my mind. Feeling the jealously surge from my body, I glared at my brother. Did I really not have a chance with her? Did he already capture her heart? I felt my chest ache as it tightened. 

"I.." All the color faded from her face. "Could I... have time to think about this?" She asked quietly. Mr. Smitten's eyes grew soft. "Of course, when you're ready, you can give me your answer then." She nodded slowly as she dragged her feet, leaving the room. Youngmin quickly ran after her. I stood inside, trying to make sense of what was happening. 

In the hall, I watched Hayoung collapse into Youngmin's arms. He held her gently, comforting her. Maybe if I wasn't so confused, I would have felt the envy as she leaned against him, but I couldn't feel anything. Dumbfounded and unstable, I could only watch from afar.

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I opened my eyes, sweat trickling down my face. Waking from the dream, I sat up on the bed. I looked at the clock, realizing it was two in the morning. Quietly, I blindly walked towards the door, wanting to escape from this suffocating room. Outside, the strong wind had disappeared and instead, a gentle breeze cooled the night. Stepping on dead leaves and on a layer of snow, I walked towards the gazebo in the back of the dorm. At the steps, I found Hayoung sitting inside. 

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Leaving the orphanage and coming to this school... I thought it was all to find out who I was. I thought I would be able to do anything in order to know my past but when I finally saw the gate that would release all the secrets that I have been searching for... I felt afraid. What if the truth wasn't what I wanted it to be? What if it would hurt me in the end? Even since I left the vocals classroom, I couldn't stop the "What if's, and "Maybes." Did I really want to know why they left me? 

Without knowing, the teardrops began to pour. My eyes blurred from the tears, didn't see him standing behind me. In the pitch black I hear Kwangmin's voice. Spinning around, I met his gaze with my wet eyes. Sniffling and trying to wipe them in secretly, my voice quivered. "Kwangmin...What are you doing here?" The floorboard creaked under his footsteps. He hesitantly sat behinds me. "I wanted some air." Embarrassed of my fragile state, I stood up. " Well Goodnight, Kwangmi-" His hand held me in the dark. His face seemed pained.

"Stay with me." His voice was shaky. I nervously sat on the wooden bench, facing the ground. "Is this a dream?" he wrapped his fingers between mine. In the cold winter breeze, his warmth felt soothing against my numb skin. He gently held his hand under my chin, locking eyes with me. 

Whenever I thought of Kwangmin, he reminded me of someone like a brother. His kind words and gentle thoughts gave me encouragement when I felt unhappy. He made me laugh when I was upset and he protected me when I was afraid...but tonight he was different. The usual bubbly happiness I felt around him was replaced with feverish heat. His gaze, intense and passionate, made me anxious. I didn't know when my heart started beating faster for him. Like Youngmin, whenever he touched me, I felt the electric current pulse through my body. Was it because they looked similar? No... It wasn't that. Even if their faces were identical, their actions and personalities were like the sun and moon. Completely opposite. 

"Until my heart calms down, don't leave me." Kwangmin begged. I blushed, feeling my cheeks reddening. Why was he doing this? My heart constricted as my breath shallowed. He leaned his head on my shoulder, murmuring softly. "Until...my....heart..." His breathe was hot against my skin. His lips on my neck, I froze.

The minutes felt like hours as my body remained a statue. "Um... Kwangmin-shi?" He didn't respond. "He must have fallen asleep!" I thought to myself. Panicking I whispered his name trying to wake him up. He was still sleeping soundly. His body slipped as I swiftly held him in my arms. I felt his heart beating against mine. My face now completely boiling was praying for him to wake up when I accidentally brushed my fingers against his forehead. I gasped at how hot it was. Raising my hand towards his face, I felt his feverish skin. He was breathing heavily with sweat on his neck. Quickly, with all my strength I wrapped my arm around his waist leading him out of gazebo. Carefully, I guided him into the elevator. 

Not knowing what to do I panicked as the glowing numbers reached the 4th floor. Pulling him into the hallway, I realized I didn't know his room number. My phone was on my desk so I couldn't call Youngmin. After gathering my courage, I decided that I had to take him to my room. 

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The bed felt strange. It was softer then before and it smelled like perfume. Was I on Youngmin's bed? No that couldn't have been it...It smelled like... a girl's perfume. Trying to remember what happened last night, I fuzzily remembered Hayoung. Gasping, I sat up, opening my eyes.

It was definitely not my room. White and filled with pastel colors, I observed the unknown place. Looking at the desk besides me, I recognized Hayoung's backpack.

"I'm sleeping in her bed!?" I yelled in my mind. "Why?!" I quickly looked at my body making sure I was clothed. Seeing how I was fully dressed, I sighed in relief, and then cursed at myself. "What are you thinking, you fool!" I accused. The door suddenly opened. Hayoung, with a black bag in her hand, walked in.

Surprised, she gasped silently. "Oh, you're awake?" She regained her senses, slightly smiling. "Good morning." She said nervously. I swiftly stood up, "I'm sorry! I don't know what happened yesterday but I'm really not like that. Please dont misunderstand!" Her eyes widened, "Misunderstand what?...Oh!....You think.." Her face began to blush. Shyly laughing, she put the mystery bag on the table. "Its not what you think Kwangmin. You fainted from a fever last night." "Fever?" I asked, confused. She nodded, taking paper plates and utensils out of the bag. "You had a fever. Panicking, I brought you here." She chuckled. "Your pretty erted Kwangmin-shi." I blushed deep red. 

I stared at her affectionately. Did she take care of me last night? I brushed my hair back with my fingers, not knowing what to do. My hands stopped when I felt something on my forehead. Peeling it off, I recognized the fever reducer. The white pharmacy bag caught my eyes as it rested on the desk. Medicine, cold patches and more fever reducers laid messily on the table. Did she buy all these for me? I felt my heart race.

She turned towards me. "Its not much but I didn't think it was a good idea to eat breakfast in the cafeteria today so I brought it here. I didn't know what you liked so I brought a lot." She smiled bashfully. I cautiously stood up and and sat on the floor, observing the table full of food. "The children in the orphanage used to get sick a lot so it's important to have plenty of vitamin to regain your energy." I couldn't stop looking at her. I suddenly had the urge to pull her into my arms.  

Gently grabbing her hand, I gazed at her bright umber eyes. "K-Kwangmin?" She stuttered while blushing. "...Thank you." It was silent as we ate.

Even since young, whenever I was sick, I had to handle it by myself. My mother was always out of country and my father was busy with work. Youngmin and I were always alone. It was as if Hayoung shared a kindness I never experienced.  My heart ached when I thought of the idea of her being with Youngmin.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked as we cleared the table. She froze, her hand reaching for a plate. She faced me, smiling sadly. "It isn't something I brag about." Her tone was gentle. "But you told him." I wanted to know why she told him, why she left me in the dark. "Im sorry for not saying anything... but I didn't want you to think poorly of me." She confessed. I felt my chest constrict. Did she really think I would have cared if she was an orphan? "As for Youngmin, that day I was feeling mentally worn out. He helped me reassure myself." "When we separated that time?" I saw the image of my brother holding her tightly in his arms. "Yes." I felt the jealousy spark. 

The vibration in my pocket broke the silence. "Hello?" I responded. "Where are you!" Youngmin yelled. "I..." I didn't know how to say I slept in Hayoung's room last night. "Im going back soon, calm down." Youngmin continued to complain. "Dong Hyun hyung called me. He said that practice for the centennial was starting in a couple hours but he wants to see us before then." "I'll meet you at the dorm lobby." I hung up the phone. 

"Was it Youngmin?" she asked. "There's a band meeting soon." She quickly stood up. "Oh really, thats fortunate. I have to see Mr. Smitten now anyways." "Have you made up your mind?" She nodded, "Yes, Im going to do it. In the beginning, I was afraid of having to perform and also afraid of what I may find if I learned the truth of my past but I decided, I'd deal with it then, when it happens." She said with confidence. "Do you really not remember anything before coming to the orphanage?" Her eyes dimmed. "Not a thing. All my memories before I was seven, I forgot them. I still don't know when my birthday is or what my real name was." She said, dejected. "You don't know your birthday?" "Mhm, the day I celebrate is the day I came to the orphanage." She said sadly. 

I couldn't believe it. What would I have done if I lived all alone, not know who I was or when I was born. I didn't think I could live like that. I would have been so lonely and terrified. My heart ached, thinking about it. She smiled gently, "Its okay though. I'm not sad anymore." she lied. "It must be so hard to smile." I thought to myself. She covered her face with her hand, trying to hide the tear in her eye. "Im fine."