Hayoung's point of view

The soft crunching of pebbles beneath his footsteps accompanied the gentle sound of the stream in the garden. Gazing at him, I noticed his blonde hair glowing against the dim yellow lights of the laterns above us. His expression unreadable, Youngmin came to a halt as the camera backed away, taking a full shot. 

I breathed, calming myself. You are drowning in melancholy. You are in pain because you are still in love, but you must hide your inner torture, you must smile. 

"Youngmin…" My voice was soft, almost a whisper. The entire set was silent, watching us. Even though so many eyes were peering at us, I felt as if it was just me and him alone in that garden. Perhaps fate truly did exist...

Instead of pretending to feel sorrowful, instead of pretending to feel regret, I was truly drowning in misery. Why did it take me so long to realize… To realize it was impossible to live without him.

 Why did I have to meet him? Why did he had to make my heart this attached to him, when in the end, I would have to betray my own feelings, and force myself to let go. 

My mother's words repeated in my mind, swimming along with the rest of the chaotic thoughts. " This is the most difficult and important scene. Here, the main heroine's heart is torn to pieces on whether to let go of her past love, or to keep holding on. The desire to hold him, the desire to touch him, it over whelms her to the point of tears."

Standing up, I ignored the pain in my ankle, too engrossed by the rhythm of my beating heart. 

Can you hear it? Can you hear what you do to me?  

Ba-thump…ba-thump…

"It's been a while." His words were dim, distant. Bitting my lip, I felt my body tremble unable to take how real it felt. " Y…Yeah, it has." I looked up at him, smiling even though my heart was crying. The camera zoomed closer, taking evidence of our dramatic first meeting. 

"How have you been?" His gaze was intense, unwavering. What was he thinking about?

"I…." The memories began flashing in my mind as if I was about to wake from a dream. "I-" Youngmin stepped foreword, cutting me short. " What happened between us?" His voice were sorrowful, full of regret. 

I turned away, looking towards the moon. "Things changed." The words felt wrong in my mouth, obvious I was lying. " Is it really impossible to go back to the way we were?" Reaching for my hand, he bore his deep warm eyes into me, leaving me breathless. 

I gazed at him as we remained still, our hearts silently weeping. Following the script in my mind, I pulled away gently, separating from his warm touch.

"It's too late…" A tear dripped down my cheek as my smile trembled. 

……………………………………………………

Youngmin's point of view

She amazed me. Unlike Marie, unlike any other girl I have ever met, she never complained. Instead, she did the best she could. Even those she was injured, even though she was shaking with fear, she never gave up. 

She really was too unfair.

How was I supposed to give up on her, when she did nothing but make my heart throb? How was I supposed to accept her disappearing from my life, when I didn't even know if I could survive alone? 

…………………………………………………….

Kwangmin's point of view

My eyes widened as a tear dripped down Hayoung's pained and hopeless face. I studied the audience, the shocked crew members. Some had tears in their eyes, watching the scene helplessly. I felt the disbelief settle in my bones. She had managed to completely grab everyone's attention, sharing her pain with the viewers. She truly was a prodigy...

Watching Youngmin, I began to wonder what was going on his mind. What was he thinking, knowing that Hayoung was no longer going to remain by his side? His words, his actions, sorrowful and full of emotion, felt too real.

No… they weren't acting. To them, they were alone, secretly expressing what was in their hearts. I bit my lip, understanding the pain in Hayoung's eyes. She truly did love Youngmin…

……………………………………………………………..

Hayoung's point of view

"Cut!" Yoo Jin broke the silence as the crowd applauded, thanking each other for the hard work. Breathless, I sighed, relieved. 

I had done it. I had managed to successfully complete my first day of filming. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I flinched at the touch of Joori, who was happily grinning. " Hayoung! That was awesome! I cried just watching." I noticed her smeared mascara as I chuckled. 

" Thank you." My voice was deflated, exhausted. She held me by the shoulders, raising an eyebrow. " I didn't know you could make yourself cry. I thought you said you never acted before." She doubted in suspicion. I nodded, promising her it was just from all the pressure….

Truth was, I didn't know why I cried. There was just something in my chest that ached too much to bare, even worse then the throbbing sensation in my leg. The thoughts of never seeing Youngmin at the time, was more then enough to start the waterworks. 

Taken aback, I halted as Marie stood before me, her expression annoyed. She scowled, looking down at me, sending death glares.  I smirked as she turned away, stomping her feet.

………………………………………………………………….

Kwangmin's point of view

"Good Job." I smiled, handing Hayoung a warm cup of coffee. The color in her cheeks were rosy and full of life. "Thank you." She sighed, relieved. "Everyone!" Mr. Yong clapped his hands together. " Today's filming is now over. Please have a good rest because tomorrow we will be filming in the mountains." Hayoung gulped nervously. 

"What's wrong?" I asked, curious. Weakly smiling, she shook her head. " It's nothing." As Joori grabbed her, heading back towards their room, I tilted my head, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. 

As she thanked the crew members, wishing them a good night, I noticed the beads of sweat on her forehead. Her lips pressed tightly together as she smiled, her eyes distant. Walking slowly, her left leg was a little slower. 

……………………………………………………………….....

Hayoung's point of view

Back in the room, I sighed in relieve as I sat down on the couch. The pressure on my leg subsiding dramatically, allowed me to finally breath. "I'm so tired!" Joori yawned as she flopped on the bed, skimming through a magazine. I agreed as I hid my leg cautiously. 

I flinched when Joori sighed, annoyed. " What's up with that girl, Marie?" She demanded. I turned towards her, curious. " What do you mean?" Suddenly, she sat up, her hair disheveled. " I literally went through hell and back because of her. "I want this", "I like this", "Give me this, " She's worse then a prima donna." I laughed, amused. 

"I can't believe Youngmin used to date her." She exclaimed, leaning on the bed post. I remained silent, not knowing what to say. "It doesn't matter now…You can't change the past." 

"I guess, but-" Suddenly the white phone on the dresser rang. Leaping up, Joori answered cheerfully. " Hello?" I could here Mr. Yong's loud voice from the other side of the room. " What?" No way!" Joori complained. After a few moments of silence, she hung her head low, drained of energy. "Fine, I understand." 

Hanging up, I tilted my head, curious as to what made her so glum." Apparently, all the fashion coordinators have to come up with the wardrobe for the shoot tomorrow." I smiled sympathetically as she grabbed her key card. " I have to stay over Mina Unnie's tonight. Will you alright by yourself?" I nodded, recognize the friendly hairdresser. 

" Its fine." I assured her. It would be easier to address my wound with Joori not being here anyway. As she closed the door behind her, I waved goodnight, wishing her luck. Alone, I sighed at the sudden emptiness of the room. It felt even big now that Joori was gone. Getting up, I decided it was time to shower. 

Walking carefully, now limping that nobody was watching, my mouth opened in amazement. The bathroom was huge and completely covered in stones and marble slabs. The faucets and the shower, shiny gold, complimented the bath tub which was a pure porcelain that had four feet on the bottom. I bit my lip, overwhelmed by the luxury. 

Awkwardly undressing, I avoided contact with my ankle that was now different shades of blue, the darkest at the spot where Marie had decided to kick me. The bath water was hot against my skin as I felt myself relax from the tension. I looked up outside the window, at the black sky which was now twinkling with stars I had not seen in a long time. Watching the bright specks of light, I began to think of the countryside and what everyone was doing. 

Sung-mi would have been slaving over the dishes at the restaurant as Youngchul would have been cooking soba noodles with his father, who would have been in a wheelchair after being diagnosed with polio. I smiled, remembering the times I would come along with them after school, eating and laughing along with the family, envious of the fullest of their home. 

A home… before I wondered what it meant, what it looked like. The orphanage, even though I lived there for as long as I could remember, I always knew I would eventually have to leave. For the first time, being here, with Joori,  the members, and the twins, I felt that home….But would that also be stripped away from me?

Gazing at the stars, I began to wonder what the sky looked like in American, hundred of thousands of miles away from here…. away from  the ones I loved

…………………………………………………………………………………

Youngmin's point of view

The steam from Kwangmin showering leaked through the bottom of the door as I dried my damp hair. Walking towards the balcony, I unlocked the glass screen, stepping outside into the cool night. Gazing at the stars, I began to admire the twinkling gems in the blanket of darkness above me.  Sighing, I leaned against the rail, wondering what was going to happen in the mountains, when Hayoung suddenly popped in my head. 

I bit my lip, wondering about her bruised ankle. Had she already gone to bed? Studying my watch, I realized it was almost midnight. Inside, the pattering of water continued as I sneaked my way towards the doorway. Grabbing the white box from the dresser, I silently placed it in my bag as I closed the door carefully.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Hayoung's point of view

Opening the fridge, I pulled out a cold bottle of water, gulping it down my throat. The chilling refreshment felt soothing against my heated skin. Sitting down on my bed, I glanced at the digital clock by my side. It was already twenty after midnight. 

Lifting my leg on the bed, I sighed at the bruise contrasting to my pale skin. How was I going to hide this?

As I was about to turn off the light, a soft knock made me halt. I listened, doubtful if I heard right. Again, the soft knocks repeated as I stood up, curious as to who it was. Joori had said for sure she wasn't coming back till morning….

Making my way slowly to the doorway, my eyes widened, shocked to find Youngmin standing outside. In a panic, I cursed to myself silently for deciding to wear a Betty Boop t-shirt of all days. Embarrassed, I turned to change when again he knocked from outside.

"Aish, whatever." I muttered, as I unlocked the door, opening it slowly.  In the hall, Youngmin's freshly showered hair was damp as he smiled softly. " Hey…" He said awkwardly. "Ah…." I didn't know what to say. What was he doing here? 

Remembering my manners, I opened the door wide, asking him to come in. He nodded as he carefully walked in, placing his shoes in the hallway. Thankful that I had cleaned previously, I was relieved to see the hotel room was spotless of any embarrassing items.  

"What are you doing here?" I asked, curious as to why he had appeared at my doorway past midnight. Opening his bag, he pulled out a familiar white box with a red plus  on the center. My eyes widened at the first aid kit. 

" I wanted to check if you were okay." He said, blushing slightly. Biting my lip, I felt a small happiness grew in my chest. He was worried about me...

…………………………………………………….

Youngmin's point of view

"Sit down." I patted the white couch as I averted my eyes, slightly embarrassed. Realizing it was just the two of us, I wondered when was the last time we had been this close. " I'm fine, really." Hayoung held up her hands defensively. I studied the darkened bruise on her ankle, not surprised that it wasn't addressed. " If you don't, I'll tell the Director you can't participate tomorrow." 

She grimaced at the thought, then sat down besides me. Blushing, I noticed the light scent of strawberries radiating from her warm skin. "Thank you." Her voice was soft, gentle. Looking up at her, I noticed for the first time how her eyes were like honey, golden brown. 

"Why did you do it?" I asked, curious of her recklessness. " What do you mean?" She blinked, taken aback. Turning towards her, I pulled out her hand showing her the scrape on side of her wrist. Her expression was gentle as she smiled softly. 

"What would you have done?" She asked, taking me by surprised. " Would you have given up?" I chuckled, remembering her mind set was different from anyone else I have ever met. Taking the antibacterial spray out from the white container, I shook it, warning her it would sting. Innocently, she bit her lip, bracing herself as she nodded. 

"Ah!" She exclaimed as I laughed, amused. " Stay still." I said, rubbing the ointment on her hand, noticing the small silvery scar on her palm from that incident at the lake house. 

Tracing the scar, I recalled what I had said that night. Gazing at her, I wondered if she still remembered what I had told her. "This reminds me of before…" My eyes widened, caught off guard. " The scar is barely noticeable now." She smiled, her lips a soft pink. " Remember?" She asked as I nodded slowly. " Youngmin has always been helping me, since the very beginning. Even now..."

I felt something prick at my heart. In time, would someone else replace me? Would someone else hold her hand as I was now? 

………………………………………………………..

Hayoung's point of view

As he touched my skin, I felt my body tremble at his fingertips. He, who always watched over me. He, who made my heart hurt as much as it did now… would disappear from my life just like a dream. 

Dear god… I prayed silently. Why did it take me so long to realize it? Why did I only find out now what my heart wanted?…

Why did I had to find out it was Youngmin all along?… 

As much as I cared for Kwangmin, I came to realize it was Youngmin that made my heart shiver at the thought of losing him. It was him that I thought of whenever I felt as if my world was crashing down. It was him that I needed in my life...

But why was fate so cruel? Only until it was already too late did I understand my own feelings. Even though I loved him so much, even though I wanted to be with him so much…

I thought of my dead father, my sobbing mother... 

Unable to stop myself, the tears dripped down my face as Youngmin's eyes grew wide. " What's wrong?" He asked, panicked. "Does it hurt?" He studied me, searching for something out of place.

As if my inner self took possession, I felt my feelings control me.  The cage that had all my locked emotions hidden away, broke open as I pulled away from his touch.

"Why did you have to come into my life?" The words quivered between my tears as I spoke my true feeling for the first time. " How am I supposed to forget you when you do nothing but make me heart hurt this much?" I didn't care to pretend that I was fine, that I could smile even though my chest was tearing to pieces.

 I couldn't lie to myself anymore.  I was already too much in love with him.