“Zelo ah, why don’t you try asking that noona out? She seems fun,” Youngjae suggested as he nudged Zelo on his stomach. Zelo just smiled shyly. “Nah, I’m not really close to her.. It might be awkward..”

“Awkward? Oh I bet she won’t when she have handsome guys like me treating her well, right Jongup?” Youngjae boasted and gave a smack on Jongup’s back causing him to steer away from his usual daydream abruptly. He gave a blank stare and just nodded blindedly. “Well, if you won’t then I would!” Youngjae got up swiftly and set his feet towards the bookstore while Zelo and Jongup scrambled after him, flustered with his sudden moves.

“Thank you for your purchase. Enjoy your reading!” I expressed my gratitude for the customer that just bought a few books. I gave my warmest smile that day even though I felt totally opposite inside. I woke up with crappy feelings as I realised Himchan left home without even having breakfast and saying goodbye. It pissed me off every time he went off for business and not spending as much time as he wanted to. Worse, he disappeared like a puff of smoke and no mention of when he would be back. My day could not get any terrible when I saw Zelo and his friends popped up at the counter poking their noses while Youngjae was staring at me with a cheeky smile.

“Yes Zelo, here for some reading?” I asked politely. Youngjae then pulled Zelo and Jongup forward forcefully towards the counter. “Actually, tomorrow is Yongguk hyung’s birthday. And we kind of want to surprise him. So.....you know we wanna have a great meal with him...”

“Oh...then eat outside.. at a restaurant or something?” I suggested.

“Oh no no, Yongguk hyung prefers home-cooked meals,” Youngjae reverted.

“Then cook for him..”

Youngjae eyes then turned into a bright smile accompanied with his megawatt smile. “That’s the problem. None of us knows how to cook proper meals. We are you know guys. Sad right?” he whined. I paused for awhile and looked at Youngjae to try and pick up at what he said. I gave them a doubtful look. Zelo was scratching his head while Jongup looked like a dummy with his empty expression. “So? What are you trying to say?”

Youngjae snapped his fingers and came behind the counter to put his arms around me. “It’s easy. Come to dinner. And help prepare food for us! How about that? Wow such a brilliant idea huh?” I moved away. “No, I don’t know you guys. Find someone else,” I answered with a sarcastic smile pasted on my face. Youngjae was dumbfounded then he gave signals to Zelo.

“Err..noona please....Uhm we really..want to.. surprise him. It’s been long since we actually had a meal together...as in home-cooked meal. I mean... can you like do it for me?” Zelo stuttered amidst pleading tone to convince me to cook for them. My heart softened at his naive look pleading me. Somehow Zelo seemed sincere about the surprise compared to Youngjae. I looked at Jongup to get a more urging look but he remained silent with a hollow expression. I sighed. I turned to Youngjae to see him smiling and begging me mouthing the word “please” but I was more moved with Zelo’s sincerity. In the end, I agreed and my answer made Youngjae jumped up in the air and punching his fists. He hugged me tightly and then left with them waving excitedly at me. I just shook my head, somehow embarrassed by his actions.

The invitation was a first-time for me as I did not really celebrate any birthdays of friends in large groups other than Daehyun and Minji. We also usually are outside so cooking for someone brought some anxious feelings. I was not sure whether the invitation or the cooking gave me the nervousness but something tugged at the corner of my heart. A feeling that I cannot really describe other than a mixture of anxiety and overwhelm.