'Let's break up'.

The silence was so thick that you could have cut it.Icy,brown eyes looked straight into almond ones,not batting an eyelash as the words left the mouth.The air was like a time bomb,waiting for the right moment of explosion.

'No'.

Yunho's voice was equally cool and blank as he answered,looking deeply in the doe eyes which widened slightly before resuming their blank stare again.

'No?Well,too bad.I am not asking.I am telling',Jaejoong said,his voice icy.

'And well it's too bad that I am not accepting',Yunho said,taking a step closer.It took all of Jaejoong's willpower to summon up the last ounce of icyness.He must do this.He must push Yunho away.Even if it killls him.Hurts him.Even if he gets broken in the process.

'Are you going to force me,Yunho?',Jaejoong said.He saw the flash of surprise of hurt in the almond eyes and his heart wept for him.He willed himslef not to break apart.He had to do this.Deliver the final blow.He slowly slipped the platinum band from his finger,the sleek metal sliding smoothly.Yunho's eyes widened as he saw Jaejoong removing the ring.It was not a mere ring.It was their promise of eternal love.Their promise of being with eath other forever.He unconsciously reached and stopped Jaejoong's hands from doing anything.

'No Jae.Please',Yunho whispered,his voice so heartbreaking and sad that Jaejoong crumbled.

'Please Yunho!Don't make this harder for me than it already is!Please understand!Get away from me!You deserve so much better!Please!Leave me alone!',Jaejoong said,as his knees gave away.He would have crashed to ground if Yunho hadn't had fast reflexes.He let Jaejoong fold up in his embrace,knowing how deeply hurt the other was.The evening had been painful for all of the.Especeially for Jaejoong.

'Don't blame your self Jaejoong-ah.Please.Don't speak things like this.I am here.And I will never leave you and Changmin.Please Jae,I am here,baby.I need you.Changmin needs you',Yunho said,hugging Jaejoong tighter as the other's sobs grew more strong.

'No!You must stay away from me!I am a monster!I am a wicked person!I don't deserve anyone!You don't know,Yunho, what I have done!You don't know.You don't know',Jaejoong said,getting hysterical.Yunho was getting shaken along with the sobs wracking Jaejoong's body.He held him even more tighter,whispering softly to him.

'I am a monster,Yunho!A monster!I committed a sin!You shouldn't love me!Don't love me!',Jaejoong screamed into Yunho's chest,utterly desolate.

'Jae',Yunho whispered,not knowing how to calm him down.He should just let the other let it all out.5 years of emotions.5 years of betrayal,sorrow,anger,guilt.He should just let Jaejoong pour it all out.And hold him till he is calm.That's the least Yunho can do.

'I hated Changmin!I hated my baby!I ahted he was born!I hated that he was the reason Minwoo left!I hated my poor child,Yunho!I hated my darling!',Jaejoong said in such an agonised voice that tears stood up in Yunho's eyes.

'I didn't want him.I ignored him when he was born.The doctors said it was post-partum depression.But I know it was not that.It was not depression or anything.I didn't want the child.So I ignored my baby.I neglected him.I looked away when he needed me the most.Changmin was a week old when I left the house.I went early and stayed out late,letting my child suffer.I hated him because it was due to him Minwoo left me.My love left me due to our child.What was I to do!I committed such a sin!I shouldn't be called a mother.A parent.I committed a sacrilege.So don't love me Yunho',Jaejoong said,his voice sounding defeated.

Yunho closed his eyes,as he tried to reign his own feelings.He felt rage,sorrow and pain.Rage,because he wanted nothing more than to strangle the person who did such a horrible thing to Jaejoong.Sorrow,because he wasn't there for Jaejoong.Pain,because he couldn't do anything while Jaejoong and Changmin still were suffering.

'Jae,listen.You are not at fault.Do you understand?Changmin loves you dearly and for him,you are his most important thing.How do you think he will feel if he sees you crying and blaming yourself',Yunho said.

'Not at fault?!I let my baby almost die!I ignored him to the point that he was hospitalised!I did that!I don't deserve to be forgiven',Jaejoong yelled,his voice muffled by Yunho's embrace.Yunho closed his eyes.He knew Jaejoong would blame himslef,even if it wasn't his fault.Jaejoong had given his heart,body and soul to that man.He had trusted him innocently.Believed in him blindly.Loved him whole-heartedly.Only to have him thrown away like useless trash. Worse than useless trash.Like he was nothing but a doll to be used and thrown.When Jaejoong had been the most vulnerable and weak,physically,mentally and emotionally,he was abandoned by the very person who had promised the world to him.Yunho shuddered to imagine the hell Jaejoong must have gone through.

'Look here.Listen to me.You are never ever to blame yourself.It's all in the past.Right now,me and Changmin both love to pieces.To Changmin,you are his world,Jae.Don't be like this.He needs you badly.Even more than I need you.Be strong for him,Jaejoong-ah.And forgive yourself.We both love you very much.Always remember that',Yunho said,as he looked into the wet,red,swollen doe eyes.Tears ran down the pale cheeks as their lips met.

And they both missed the silent patter of tiny feet and a sob of 'Solly,umma'.

                                                            -x-x-x-

The house was silent atlast as Jaejoong hiccuped in Yunho's embrace.It was past midnight when Jaejoong had managed to calm down,after many kisses and hugs from Yunho.He was feeling lighter,though the guilt was still there. Yunho was humming to him,rocking him slightly,running a hand gently through the silky raven hair.Stray sobs occassionally left Jaejoong,but he had calmed down considerably.

'Thank you Yun.For not abandoning me and Changmin',Jaejoong whispered.

'I love you both,Jae.Never forget that.Changmin and you are the most important people in my life'Yunho said.

'I am sorry.I am such a bad person.I don't deserve any-mmmpphh!'.

Jaejoong was harshly cut by a pair of bow-shaped lips.Yunho silenced him rather angrily,not wanting a speck of negativity remaining in Jaejoong's heart.Jaejoong whimpered as Yunho bit his lip painfully and then it in apology.He parted to looked into angry almond eyes.

'I told you not to talk like that again',Yunho said as he pulled Jaejoong in a tight hug.Tears still left Jaejoong as he hugged the warmth that was Yunho.May be he could forgive himself.Bit by bit.Along with Yunho's help.He gently disengaged himself from yunho's hug.

'Where are you going?',Yunho asked as he looked at Jaejoong getting up.

'To check on Changmin.You go and take a bath.Stay here today,please',Jaejoong said.Yunho smiled and watched Jaejoong go down the corridor.He got up and stretched a bit when there was crash.He rushed to the bedroom to see Jaejoong collapsed on the floor,eyes wide in fright and sorrow,pointing a trembling hand at the bed.The bedclothes were scattered and the bed was empty.

'I failed my baby,Yunho',Jaejoong whispered before fainting away from sheer exhaustion and stress.

                                                      -x-x-x-
Changmin walked on blindly in the dark and cold streets,taers pouring down his cheeks.The words still rang in his ears.

'I hated my child!I didn't want him'.

His umma hated him.His dear umma.Just like how that man hated him.The man at the party.He had also said the same thing.They didn't want him.They hated him.And his torn,little heart was bursting with pain.

Changmin was just three.But he knew.He understood.He loved his umma so much.Then why did umma hate him?Was he a bad boy?But he listened to everything his umma said.He did try to be a good boy.He said 'Please' when he wanted something.Said prayers before sleeping.Tidied his toys when he finished playing.Even didn't play pranks in school.Then why did umma hate him?Why umma didn't want him.

He had walked unknowingly to some remote park.He stopped and looked around,seeing nothing darkness and a single streetlight which did nothing to banish the darkness.Fear filled him and the child screamed.

'Umma!Minmin solly!Pwease come to Minmin!Minmin plomise to be good boy!Pwease umma!Minmin scaled',he cried as he ran around,getting lost even more.The wind rustled a bush and in bout of panic and fright,Changmin's feet tangled into the snow and he fell on the hard ground,bruising himself.

He was cold,scared and hurt.He was barely even a kid.And he wanted his mother.badly.He wanted nothing more than to see the familiar,sweet face.wanted nothing more than to hear the soft voice singing to him.Wanted nothing more tahn the warm fragrance to envelope him.He tried to get up,but a sharp stab of pain in his ankle made him all down.He was now hysterical.He curled up in the cold and hard bushes,hot tears running down his cheek

'Umma!Minmin is solly.Pwease come to Minmin.Umma!Umma!'.

No one heard his cries.Except for the single lamp-post and the cold,harsh wind.

                                                        -x-x-x-

Yunho was gently rocking an ashen-faced Jaejoong who just stared in front of him,eyes glassy and unseeing.Junsu came out from the kitchen,carrying a cup of hot tea.

'Hyung,please.Have something',Junsu tried,trying to wake up Jaejoong from his trance.But Jaejoong was in a shock. Changmin's sudden disappaerance had pushed Jaejoong further into self-loathing.Junsu blinked back his tears as Jaejoong clutched onto a faded and tattered Bambi.Changmin's favourite toy.He ooked at Yunho who was frowning darkly at his phone.He had almost called on the entire police force of the nation to search for Changmin,had it not been for Yoochun who stopped him in time.Yoochun had gone to settle things down,reasoning that Yunho stay with Jaejoong who looked so broken,if he has not shattered already.

'I am such a bad parent.I don't deserve anything.Minnie baby,umma is sorry',Jaejoong mumbled to the soft toy he was clutching.Yunho closed his eyes,controlling himself.His phone buzzed and he picked it up.He heard the person on the other line and stood up,gently handing Jaejoong to Junsu.He looekd at Junsu and nooded slightly.Junsu's eyes widened,but he kept calm.Yunho kissed Jaejoong gently before slipping out and gunning his car.He skidded to a stop and saw a police car.He got out and Yoochun greeted him.

'We found him.But,I don't know.Changmin.He seems strange.He is awake,but he won't talk,won't eat.Won't do anything',Yoochun said.Yunho pushed his way through and saw a white bundle on the seat of the police car.He gently gathered the child in his arms and hugged him toghtly,rocking his body to a silent melody,trying to warm up the boy.

Changmin was pale with bruises on his face,hands and legs.He was exhausted and dehydrated by staying outside for so long,skin purple and gray with the cold.He was strangely silent as he looked at Yunho with blank and dead looking eyes.They were hauntingly beautiful even in their blankness.Just like Jaejoong's.

'Minnie?Baby,you hear me?Beal ahjussi is here',Yunho softly said,gently holding the stricken child.Changmin's blank eyes trained on the warm,almond eyes.A tiny hand went up and the ice-cold fingers touched the scar under the left eye.The lips trembled slightly before Changmin became unconscious from the strain.But Yunho caught the tremble.

'Thank you,appa'.

                                                                                          -x-x-x-

lol..is this making sense??I shud just give up..T.T